1009/Backfire!

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Backfire!
Date of Scene: 18 June 2017
Location: Unknown
Synopsis: In which Vorpal's grand plan of getting Adrien tipsy backfires horribly. Or this is why we don't let Marinette drunk dial anyone.
Cast of Characters: 142, 87, 143




Adrien Agreste (142) has posed:
Adrien had gotten off the phone with his chinese tutor, where they had been going over some Chinese literature. Tikki was there until Plagg phased back in, whispered what Marinette was doing and the kwamis left Adrien to his own devices. Now, the blonde is stepping out of the home office, looking for where everyone one went. and maybe a snack. maybe.

Vorpal (87) has posed:
"And then I told her- if all the guys in this party were laid end to end... I wouldn't be in the least bit surprised!"

Vorpal grins, pouring a rather liberal serving of wine into a wineglass. He's obviously talking to Marinette, whom he has relegated to one of the comfy seating areas of the living room, refusing to let her do anything so much resembling work. There are three wineglasses, and there is a delightful aroma-

Croissants. And pain au chocolat. Specifically, from the Dupain-Cheng boulangerie. You can tell because the little paper bag they're in has the logo Marinette designed herself. "Well, if it isn't Monsier Adrien. Come in, come in, I'm getting a glass ready just for you, too. Go ahead and grab a seat next to Mari, I'll bring your glass over. And your bread."

Adrien Agreste (142) has posed:
Adrien tips his head to the side as he notes Marinette giggling on the sofa. He might have said something about it but Vorp said the word croissant and the label was from the Dupain-Cheng boulangerie and he was drawn, a kitty to catnip, to thw sofa. He settles himself next to Marinette.

"Whatz the occassion?" he asks, grinni g lightly.

Vorpal (87) has posed:
"No occasion. Here you go, chaton." The cat hands Adrien his wineglass and a pain au chocolat from the bag. He keeps no glass for himself but he does get a croissant. Mari, of course, gets the other pain au chocolat.

He plops down on the ground, gathering some of the pillows and using them as a sort of recliner. "I took Mari to Paris today to check in on her folks. She was disguised, of course. I made her look like Shakira." He's kidding. Is he? He takes a bite out of his croissant and hmmmmms! "Heaven in a little flakey shell..."

Adrien Agreste (142) has posed:
"Thank you, chaton," Adrien replies smirking faintly. He accepts the glass and the bread.

"You did? Thats wonderful. how are they?" he asks, taking a sip then a bite. he grins, never having seen marinette quite this giggly before. his browz lift at her whispered statement that reay wasnt all that whisperes.

"really? lovely."

Vorpal (87) has posed:
"Just don't ask me to do loaves and breads, wine glasses is where I stop." Vorpal grins. "They're positively lovely people. I told them I was a friend of Marinette's from college and was stopping by to say hi while I backpacked across Europe with my girlfriend." He points at Marinette, who suddenly has the illusion cast on her. Yep, those hips don't lie. "Of course I was my redhead self. No need to give Mari's parents a heart attack when an upright cat steps through. They might think I was an akumatization victim or something. So I bought us a little bit of this and a little bit of that. I figured you'd like a taste of Paree." He is very careful not to use the word 'home' there. "The two of you have been so kind desite all the trouble I've caused, I wanted to do something nice. Drink, eat, be merry."

Of course, one thing that's hard to do with the refilling wineglasses? Measure how much it is you're actually drinking. It's deceptively simple- and the wine Vorpal chose is a deceptive one, too. Not a French one actually, but an italian vino da tabola, fruity and light and sweet and you can barely taste any alcohol in it. Deceptive.

"I've noticed you're a little wider across the shoulders there. I'm happy to see you're getting the protein you need."

Adrien Agreste (142) has posed:
Adrien takes in Tommy's story, sipping lightly and eating on his pain au chocolate. He eyes the illusions, nodding but not really finding Sharika all that attractive. She speaks Feench well enough, having run into her at a runway once. Agreeing witb Mari, Adrien nods, wine glass lowering to his knee. about half way into it.

"Mmhmm. I agree. You are a friend, a good friend. Especially to me. I... I feel like I almost cant thmk you enough for you being my friend. Now that Mari ia here too... i dont know. This place feels... " he pauses, sipping at his wine again before lowerimg it. "It doesnt feel so empty." Another sip and talk shifts to his broadening frame. His cheeks dust a faint pink.

"The fitters are complaining..." he says, not aure how to handle thia ahift in conversation.

Vorpal (87) has posed:
"Let them complain, you're a growing boy," The cat quips and scoots over to the side of Adrien's seat, leaning against it so he can look up at Adrien while chomping on his croissant. "Well, it doesn't feel so empty 'cause it isn't empty. You've got a girlfriend, two kwamis, and two cats, and we all get along just grand. Even if I first made Mari want to kill me when we first met." He grins.

And then, he gets a realization, and says, "Mari... do you realize I kissed your boyfriend before you did?" He says, with a big grin. Of course, he doesn't know about the Dark Cupid affair... but, in all fairness, neither does Adrien.

Adrien Agreste (142) has posed:
Adrien rolls his eyes lightly, though he grins at the pair of them. He would love to tell the fitters that too, but it would disappoint father so instead, Adrien mkes himself content with living vicariously through their words.

It also warms him to know that this place is so warm and bright and full of life and love and laughter. He'd forgotten how good it could feel, while simultaneously marvelling at how new this all was, how much there was. Marinette's commentary about the furniture has him nodding.

"And polka dotted!"

Adrien smiles at the input because really, polka dots are the cat's meow. Pleased with himself, he brings his wine up to sip only to nearly spit it right back out. In an attempt to not spray Vorpal with wine, Adrien ends up getting it a bit up his nose, and he swallows harshly, coughing and sputtering and fianlly managing: "What?!?"

Adrien.exe has stopped responding.

"you... what?"
eBecause he had done a really good job of not thinking on Tommy as his first kiss even though his brain was totally going, um yes he was. This news is just-

"What?"

Vorpal (87) has posed:
"Ahaha! Well, what do you know? It looks like I wasn't your first kiss after all. It's ok, you were mine," Tommy teases Adrien.exe while he is unpacking IKissedAGirlAndILikedIt.mp3 to play in his brain. "I was just keeping him warm for you, Marinette. It was purely a neighborly thing to do."

He grins, enjoying Adrien's reaction. The filters should be coming down soon, he hopes.

Vorpal (87) has posed:
Tommy laughs, "Hey now, you're going to furnish this place like Wonderland, too? I might just have to move in to match the decor." He finishes his croissant and flashes a look of pure mischief at Marinette. She is cearly playing along, so he runs with it like Forrest Gump. "I'm glad to hear you approve. If at any point he starts cooling off, just give me a ring and I'll warm him up again for you!" He says, like a beighbor offering to start up someone's car in the middle of winter while they wait inside in the warmth, without having to deal with the false starts and the roooga-roooga-rooooga-runrunruuuun of the engine on a cold morning.

"Besides, I need to practice my kissing. I've only ever kissed someone once. I don't get that many chances."

And because he knows Adrien, filters or no, is usually clueless, he turns to look over his shoulder at him and gives him a wink to indicate he's kidding.

Of course, to someone who is not totally sober, that can come across entirely the wrong way, too.

Adrien Agreste (142) has posed:
Tommy hits him with a double first kiss whammy and then Marinette is laughing and patting his back and saying it was a nice kiss and...

"Dammit, Mari! If I had known.... " what? Adrien huffs and and empties his glass back to half. When did it refill? No one knows. these are, as Marinette had said Magical Wonderland Glasses. Sneaky Vorpal is sneaky.

"...fuck. and in the middle of a fight? why? Mari? in the middle of a fight?" Adrien is saying before Vorpal comes in and winks and... there's that blush.

"Whoa! Dont I get a say in things here?" Because he is totally into girls.... human girls. Nor offense to Tommy. At all. jusr.... Girls.... smell and taste better than cheese.

Fuck you, Plagg.

Vorpal (87) has posed:
"Wha-Marinette, he's my BOSS! And besides, he's a movie star. And I don't know if he's straight or not because he jokes about everything so you can never be sure and.. where is my phone?"

He forgets. He left his phone with Mari while he got the wine so she could transfer the pictures they took in Paris. SHE HAS THE WEAPON!

"Besides, what makes you think he'd even like me? C'mon, he's famous and can have anyone he wants who's smart enough to not let unconventional skin colors get in the way. And he'd pay attention to an alleycat? Please."

He looks around. Seriously, where did he leave his phone? And how did this happen- Marinette and Adrien turning the tables on HIM? This is not how the script went!

Adrien Agreste (142) has posed:
"Kick Your? Please, My Lady. Give me some credit! " Adrien begs, cheeks still pink. Abither sip is takrn because the bread is gone. ooh yeah. Gar. who's Gar? Adrien smiles, a cst in boy's clothing, and turns his bright green eyes on Tommy.

"Jokes abour everything, huh? You have a type!" which is so funny to Chat right now. "yesyes! call him and ask! Because i know for a fact strays make the best pets, amirite Purrrrincess?"

Hey Look! you wanted to know what Adrien with no fiktet was like? Its Chat Noir.... wihoit the claws or the abailiry to destriy a building with a touch!

Vorpal (87) has posed:
"Ohgodsheisreallydoingit!" Tomy scrambles to get to his feet and pounce at Marinette- but, of course, Adrien can totally tackle him and hold him down. It's his mission, after all.

"Noooooooo" (slow motion)

Adrien Agreste (142) has posed:
Don't let him get my, kitty!

Years of teamwork has Adrien moving even before Marinette finishes her order. The wine glass was set down. Yes, Adrien's tipsy but this has removed the inhibitions leaving Chat in their place. Granted, a not as strong or agile Chat but given that Adrien has been training in various martial forms for years, his motions dont look all that drunk at all. A swift counter poubce and Vorpal's pinned.

"She's pawsitivly correct right meow, mew know that, dont you?"

ooc: Garfield spoofed with permission.
Riiing. "Hey, Tom! What's purring? Got your ac fixed orange you still roasting?" Because Beast Boy say who's phone was calling and didnt wait to hesr who actually called.

Marinette DuPain (143) has posed:
"Nope! Not Tommy! I'm calling because having Tommy call would be awkward and I wanna know if you're straight or not. He tried to stop me. My fiance's currently sitting on him!" And then she's giggling all over again. "And that was terrible. What is with animal guys and puns. I mean really?" Mari is prattling on now, happy as you please.

Vorpal (87) has posed:
"Oh my god you guys!" the cheshire cat sputters. He blinks, though, and looks over his shoulder as Adrien keeps him pinned down, "... the ironic thing is that I used to fantasize about this, you know?"

That's not false, but it's also a last-ditch attempt to see if Adrien will let him go by going into full awkward zone.

With him being in full Chat mode, though, he isn't counting on it.

Adrien Agreste (142) has posed:
On the other end of the phone, Garfield blinks once, then laughs brightly.

"Puns are like conversational Dad jokes. Animal guys make them because we are totally awesome. When Im a poodle Im even more pawesome!" pause bwcause he'a laughing. "Well, tell tommy that Im bi, and completely jealous that you arw completely okay wih your fiance sitting on him. Youre suoer cool and Im sure tour man is a whole lott hunky deliciousness."

Meanwhile, on Vorpal, Adrien isnt being mean and digging a knee into Vorpal. No. He is literally sitring on Vorpal's butt, one hand on the dloor the othe braced against rhw cat's back as his shoulder blades ro gwntlt keep him there.

"Purrobably, though I bet your feline sad that Im not in the suit," Adrien retorts with a cattish smirk. He means because thw takw down wohld ha e bewn faster since Adrien knows that as Chat Noir he's e hanced but.. Adriwn is also drunk and while Chat is in thw driver's seat, alcohol has rendered good judgement ....with vreative definitions of goos judgement allowable.... has flew out rhe window like a purified akuma.

Marinette DuPain (143) has posed:
"Oh good! It's wonderful to know the whole employer/employee boss thing isn't going to be a problem! Yes, he is! Absolutely wonderfully delicious. And he smells fantastic! I'm gonna go finish my wine now, Green. Bye!"

And just like that, the call is over and phone is down and, "He's bi and totally jealous Adrien got to sit on you." What? It's exactly what she heard. "I think your glass is broken, Vorpal." It seems to have quit refilling itself. "Oooh. Oh no! I broke it." O.O

Vorpal (87) has posed:
"... you do fill it out nicely," Tommy says weakly to Arien and then he thuds his forehead against the carpet. His muffled words come out loud and clear, though, "Oh god, oh god, how am I going to face him at work on Monday?"

He groans. Well. At least Adrien tackled him. He's sure there's a million fan girls of both Adrien and Chat Noir who'd probably kill for the honor. "The glass isn't broken. I am." Vorpal.bat is currently blue0screening.

Adrien Agreste (142) has posed:
"Thank you, Petit Chaton. That's furry mice of you to say," Adrien says smiling brightly, cat would caught the kitten, and he gets to his feet mosrly smoothly. Wine bottlw collected from the table, he moves to pour the rest of it out into Marinetye's cup.

Marinette DuPain (143) has posed:
"That's a silly question. He didn't seem the least... Did you not hear me, orange one?"

And then her glass is refilled and her eyes widen. "Oooh! Thank you, Chaton!" Wait. "Why are you broken, little orange kitty? Did he sit on you too long? Was it too hard on you?"

Vorpal (87) has posed:
Tommy scrambles to his feet and reaches for the phone. "... It's just... I'm not-" There, Gar's contact. He ponders calling him while Adrien pours the grape blood, but he chickens out. He starts texting while he responds to Marinette.

"Maybe I've come to the conclusion it's best I don't have a relationship?" There, he'd said it. He texts as quickly as he can.

<<Dude Im so sry- my best friend is drunk lol hope it wasnt 2 awkerd>>

Yes. Tommy texts like a twelve year old teenage girl.

Adrien Agreste (142) has posed:
<<Nah, dude! It's cool. Anytime you wanna know something about me, just ask. Also, stupid jelly of you rn. u have da best life!>>

"I was a purrrfect gentleman, merci beaucoup My Ladybug. " Adrien retorts, reaching for one of Marinette's hand to kiss as he sweeps into a flouroshing bow.

Marinette DuPain (143) has posed:
A bright giggle escapes from Marinette as her hand is kissed. "Aww... know you were, mon amour..." Her eyes sparkle, in doubt partly due to the alcohol before she once more pfffffffts at Vorpal. "That's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard."

Vorpal (87) has posed:
Vorpal blinks at Mari's reaction, "What? It's a perfectly valid thought."

Fingers fly. <<Not what you think he was just tackling me so I couldnt get 2 the phone.>>

He pauses, looking at the screen. Hey, I think you're funny. You're kind of cute in a dorky way, too. Also, you're hot.

These are all the things that pass through his mind as he looks at the screen, the things he *could* text. Instead, his fingers glide over the screen again:

<<im glad u werent offended. C ya tomorrow for the photoshoot?>>

Adrien Agreste (142) has posed:
"No its not! Many he's punning jokes at you beclaws he Likes you! I mean, I was merciless with Marinette, rihhr Bugaboo?" Coos Adrien, because alcohol.

<<Oh. Man. And I totally rhought he was preotecting his girl from you trying to claw your phone from her hands! ;p >>
<<Not evem slightly offended. Happy to tell you anything. yes. cu@10am?>>

Marinette DuPain (143) has posed:
Mari laughs and scoots over until she's curled against Adrien, nodding her head as she finishes the wine. "See? One glass." Is anyone going to tell her?

"He really was. Everything was a pun. It still is actually. Oh you have to tell him. Don't be stupid like we were. Seriously. It messed up so much and we lost so much time."

Vorpal (87) has posed:
Tommy looks at Marinette and Adrien for a second. He can't help but feel a little envy of seeing them together. He looks back at the screen and Gar's text.

"What is it I am telling him?" he asks, still looking at the phone.

Adrien Agreste (142) has posed:
"That tou like him! silly cat!" Adrien remplies, flinging a cushiom at Vorpal. a ligt toss.

Marinette DuPain (143) has posed:
"Yes! That!" Marinette giggles brightly, leaning forward to sit her glass on the table. "See? Chaton knows." Nodnodnod. "We're the voice of experience here..."

Vorpal (87) has posed:
The cat gets conked over the head with the pillow, and he sighs.

"But I don't know if I *like* like him. And I don't know if I want to risk getting heartbroken."

Still he looks at the screen. He hasn't answered Garfield's text, but he must. But admitting something like that is... scary. Vulnerable. It's the chance to be rejected all over again.

He compromises. Fingers move fast again.

<<Shoot's not until 12, wanna have breakfast?>>

Adrien Agreste (142) has posed:
<<omg ihop is running endless pancakes. 9? 10? endless pancakes!!! (pancake emoji)>>

"Crushes count," Adrien states firmly moving to perch on the arm rest next to Marinette...

...and missing.

With a whumpf, Adrien drops to the floor at Marinette's feet. A moment of surprised and stunned disbelief, and then Adriem grins lile Chat Noir to the room at large: Totally met to do it that way.

Marinette DuPain (143) has posed:
"Crushes totally count," is giggled. "Pffft. You like him." She tolls her eyes before beaming up at Adrien as he starts to sit.

"Ho, Kit--" Whimpf!

Mari's eyes widen as she leans forward, lifting so she's arched over Adrien's head and peering at him upside down. "You okay, Chaton?"

Vorpal (87) has posed:
"Just how much did you guys actually drink?" Okay, so maybe the glasses were not a good idea. Sure, they were an effective method of delivery. Too effective.

He leans down and taptaptaps Adrien's cheek. "Hey, blondie, how many fingers a I holding up?" He holds up two fingers. And then he holds two up to Marinette, too. Just in case.

Adrien Agreste (142) has posed:
"I'm purrrrrrrrrfect!" Adrien replies, grinning oh so proud of himself. Cross legged, Adrien frowns at the three fingers, reaching up to brush the hand away.

"I've had one glass... but I also haven't eaten since... since..." he looks over at Marinette.

"When did you feed me?" he lapses into french. The day got hectic and busy and he was supposed to eat and ignored it like usual when things got busy.

Marinette DuPain (143) has posed:
Mari blinks at the fingers suddenly in her face ans goes cross eyed trying to look at them a moment before she pulls her head back. "I only had a single glass. With bread too!"

And thrn she looks at Adrien amd blinks. "Aside from the croissants from the bakery? Mmm... Brunch? Ish?"

Vorpal (87) has posed:
"Oh god. I need to get some food into you or this is going to turn into a river of vomit in the morning." Because that hangover is going to be epic... they might just have a recreation of Zeus' birth pains when he gave birth to Athena. "You, bring food from the kitchen!" he says to a little end table that he ZAPS! with his chaos magic before turning his attention back to the pair.

"Now I have to ask... do you come up with those puns by yourelf, or is Plagg whispering them in your ear?" he says, tapping Adrien in the nose, "How come Mari doesn't do bug jokes?"

Adrien Agreste (142) has posed:
Adrien watches at the table gets up and walks away. He blinks, and then turns to Mari.

"MARI! The bagettes. Hurry up!" Because someone watched Beauty and the Beast not long ago. And in English that shit was hilarious! Lumerie's accent was so bad. SO, so bad. But it makes Adrien roll back laughin anyway so that when he's tapped on the nose he flops to his back... sparing hte wine. Because it's that important.

"I don't need Plagg fur my puns, thank you. Very much. My feels. so hurt right meow. Mari. My feels. Tommy has bugged them!" Adrien snickers, laughing on the floor because his floor is so comfy.

Marinette DuPain (143) has posed:
"Hey! No tables in the kitchen!"

Marinette is crawling across the couch to crawl over the arm so she can stop the table when, "Do you lnow how hard it is to do ... Wait! Bagettes!? Did I... Oh! Oh no!"

And now she thinks she had something in kitchen cooking and forgot about it.

Cue the rushed stumbling.

Vorpal (87) has posed:
"Bagu- Sacre Bleu!" This time it's Vorpal's turn to vault over the couch. Normally he's as graceful as a cat ballerina crossed with a gymnast-spiderman. But he's so discobobulated about how his plan has backfired that he catches a foot on the edge of the couch, just as he has almost cleared it.

He faceplants. HARD. The only reason there isn't a broken nose is the fact that he reacted fast enough to shield his face with his hands, but lo and behold, a mighty THUD.

"MNrrenrnrnrnnnnggg!"

He twitches as he rolls over on his side. If the baguettes are burning, at least he's graceful he can't smell them right now.

Adrien Agreste (142) has posed:
And Adrien's just lauging. on the floor. Because Mari... Bagettes. And Vorpal faceplanted and there's a table walking into the kitchen and "What is in this wine?" Adrien laughs more.

Marinette DuPain (143) has posed:
"Grapes!" It's called as Mari skid-stumble-slips around the corner, barely managing to right herself.

"Hey!... There's nothing iut he--No! Bad table! Get out of the fridge!"

Vorpal (87) has posed:
Vorpal gets up holding his nose. "Baridette, are de badeddes adight?" Ow. His nose still hurts. He springs forward, only to be met by the table, being shooed away by Marinette as it races out of the kitchen. There is a collision.

And then the table is carrying Vorpal, startled, on a veritable race around any corner of the apartment it can zoom through. "Oh Godemmit!" He's tangled up with the table, due to whatever cover it had on before it zoomed away. Now it is making like an accidental lasso, and as a prize it has a cheshire cat on top of it.

Adrien Agreste (142) has posed:
Sprawled on the floor, Adrien's laughter fades into soft chuckles as his eyes close. This was a fun night. So many puns in his brain, so little time to say them all out loud. Especially right now because the floor is so comfortable and lovely. Adrien sighs, grinning into sleepy drunk. =z.z=

Please don't let them think to play decorate the drunk.

Marinette DuPain (143) has posed:
Mari stumbles her way back into the living room. "There aren't any... Vorpal... Tables arw not for riding around the living room." She sounds so serious, even if she is sway slightly as she stands there with her hands on her hips.

Vorpal (87) has posed:
"I DON'T THINK THE TABLE KNOWS THAT!" Vorpal says, trying to get unbound but failing. The table is moving to much. "Oh dammnit, STOP IT!" he says, trying to ZAP! the table- but he ends up being moved off balance and he grabs onto the couch briefly to steady himself as he passes by.

And the couch rears up, leaps gracefully over the sleeping Adrien, and begins to chase the table... in order to stop it.

"Mari! Look out!"

The table is heading straight for her. With Vorpal on top.

Marinette DuPain (143) has posed:
Yep. Heading straight for her. And what does drunk Marinette do?

She plants herself, as much as she can, and cross her arms over her chest. "Alright. Enough! All furniture back where you brlong and be still."

Cause it's like talking to Plagg, right? He listens when she uses that tone.

Vorpal (87) has posed:
She's going to get maimed. Oh god she's going to get maimed and it's all going to be his fault! Tommy closes his eyes and prepares for the inevitable crash.

Instead, he's flying through the air. He only has a moment to ponder this before he hits the wall and slides down it, very much like a much more handsome (to his mind) Wiley E. Coyote, before finally falling on the floor.

The furniture is back to its place. Its zeal to obey Marinette clearly made the table stop and, as it were, cat-apult Vorpal across the room, just as it and the couch trotted its little selves back.

"... ow..." He whimpers.

Marinette DuPain (143) has posed:
Mari's eyes linger on the furniture a moment. "Stay."

And then she's walking over to help Vorpal up, the events quickly sobering her up. "Are you okay, Vorpal?" A hand is offered down to him. "Let mw take a look..."

Vorpal (87) has posed:
Vorpal looks at her hand, and then, as the aches subside, he grins.

"Mari."

"That"

"Was"

"AWESOME!"

He starts cackling madly, closing his eyes and shaking his head. He has either lost it, or he's had the best night of his life.

Marinette DuPain (143) has posed:
Marinette stares at her friend a moment before she syarys to giggle. "You have a very odd definition of awesome, Vorpal." But he's okay and that's all that matters.

"Wanna help me get Adrien into bed?" She points at the proned model. "I don't think he'll be going on his own."

Vorpal (87) has posed:
He finally rights himself up and winces. Ow. "Sure... but!" And he gets that grin on his face.

"We put ribbons on his hair. Come on! The fucshia ones!"