10736/Lights, Camera, Mayhem

Lights, Camera, Mayhem
Date of Scene:	14 January 2020
Location:	Midtown, Manhattan
Synopsis:	Jessica Drew and Doc Samson find themselves having to deal with the reality show-based arrival of a nightmarish Spider-Woman who simply should not be.
Cast of Characters:	Doc Samson, Spider-Woman (Drew)

---

Doc Samson has posed:
It's a beautiful day in Midtown, which means that the streets are filled with tourists and locals alike--and traffic is currently being redirected (to everyone's annoyance) around Times Square for filming.

Trailers, cameras, lights, and catering abound for what appears to be--based on signs put up around the borders of the blocked-off area--a reality show called 'I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M A SUPERHERO!'.

A gaggle of support staff surrounds someone who looks like they might be the host, and a few others stand near a middle-aged woman.

Off to the side, a much larger, muscular man with long green hair stands, arms folded, talking sternly to a young woman with a clipboard.

"...and you're /sure/ that this time it's all above-board?" the man asks.

"Yes, absolutely. This time the studio is confidently behind the production team," replies the woman with the clipboard.

Then, the host and the middle-aged woman are moved to their marks, and the procution is underway.

"Welcome back to a brand new episode of I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M A SUPERHERO!, the show where we offer lucky contestants the opportunity to become super-powered individuals here, on camera, live! For this, our very first episode, we've got Mrs. Eudora Gernblatt, who is ready--you are ready, aren't you, Edith?--ready to become an all-new, all-different Spider-Woman!"

The middle-aged woman next to him beams.

Spider-Woman (Drew) has posed:
Jessica Drew was just trying to get some things done. Now that at least //some// of the missing Avengers are back, she's not nailed to the 'crisis center.' For a minute or two, at least. That //was// going to take the form of picking up some ice cream at a shop nearby, but the filming is making that difficult. She's wormed her way toward the front of the crowds just in time to hear the announcement.

One dark brow rises, arching sharply. "Yeah, that's not all it's cracked up to be," she drawls to no one in particular, crossing her arms over her chest. Ice cream can wait. This...bears some watching.

Doc Samson has posed:
A pair of technicians, dressed in garish (and, to anyone who can see an angle other than that of the camera, clearly non-functional) hazmat suits, maneuver a giant vat filled with spiders toward the host & contestant.

"Well, Eudora, we're going to make you a superhero today!" the host cheerily exclaims. "In this tank are thousands of mutated spiders. Contact with so many of them will, hopefully, transform you into a super-hero! Are you ready?"

"I am!" Eudora shouts, pumping her arms in the air.

"Well, before we get started, we turn to our resident psychiatrist, Dr. Leonard Samson. Doc," the host asks, "does everything seem to be in order?"

"Not at all," Samson replies. "This seems highly questiona--"

"Great!" the host interrupts. "Eudora, let's get you in! that! TANK!"

Observers at the barricades applaud politely, and then more enthusiastically as a production assistant stirs them to action.

Eudora climbs a short set of steps until she's standing at the mouth of the tank.

"What do you want to tell the nation, Eudora?" the host asks.

"I can't believe I'm a superhero!" the contestant cries, leaping feet-first into the tank.

Her screams bellow almost immediately from inside.

Spider-Woman (Drew) has posed:
"That's...not how..." Jessica stares for a moment as they roll out the vat, looking toward the doctor as if that's going to change anything. She's sufficiently gob-smacked that it isn't until the woman is actually screaming that she's pushing her way past the barricades and the production assistants.

"What in the hell do you people think you're doing?" she exclaims, headed directly for the vat full of spiders to reach in for the woman. "Seriously, I don't even- //Seriously//."

Doc Samson has posed:
"Where's the medic?!" Samson shouts, bounding toward the tank. He sees Jessica also running for the tank. "Ma'am! Be careful! That's extremely dangerous--"

The vat explodes, glass shards and spiders rocketing in every direction.

And, where Eudora Gernblatt had once stood, there is instead a creature that, while roughly her size, appears to be comprised entirely of spiders. Something that might be a mouth opens, and Eudora's scream erupts from within the mass of spiders.

Samson shields his eyes as the vat shatters, and he looks at the monstrous creature from between his fingers. "Eu--Eudora?" he calls out.

The host and production crew, meanwhile, have fled for cover. "Somebody call 911!" someone shouts.

A number of passersby near the barricades begin filming or streaming the scene.

Spider-Woman (Drew) has posed:
"Yeah, no kidding!" Jessica starts to shout back to Samson, just in time for her instincts to give her an extra warning. The vat shatters and Jessica dives behind a camera set-up, dodging the worst of the shrapnel. Peeking out from behind it, she grimaces as she sees what's happened to the woman.

"911," she snorts. "Yeah. That'll help." Pushing up her sleeves, she wades out toward the chaos, a sickly green-yellow flicker starting up around her hands. "Lady!" she shouts toward the...spider-woman. "You still in there?"

Doc Samson has posed:
Spiders-lady roars, turning to ... face? ... Jessica, although its implicit features seem to shift around with the mass of crawling spiders that make up its mass.

Following the roar, a stream of spiders leaps out from the creature's 'mouth' toward Jessica.

"What the f--?!" Samson asks breathlessly, frowning before he charges forward, shoulder out to try and slam into the creature. It responds by extending a limb and spraying Samson with a wave of spiders as well.

He chokes, desperately trying to swipe spiders off of him and to spit them out of his mouth.

Spider-Woman (Drew) has posed:
"Nope, we're not going there." Jessica nopes right out of that threat, hopping up onto a craft services table and flipping out of the way of the spider attack. That glow around her hands explodes into brightness, firing a blast of electric energy at the loose spiders. Those are...probably not the woman. Probably. If they are, something has gone even more wrong than it looks.

She crouches on the table as she tries to take in the scene, grimacing as she sees Samson under attack. "Hey! Spider-swarm!" she calls out, straightening up. "Over here!" At least she can be distracting.

Doc Samson has posed:
The spiders retract from all over Samson back to the mass of crawling bugs that are the Spiders-lady. The collective creature lumbers forward, amorphously shifting back and forth between 'upright biped' and 'semi-upright arachnid'.

It tries to climb up on the table where Jessica crouches, roaring again. Another burst of spiders sprays out from its 'face' at the woman.

Samson, eyes closed, leaps forward in a blind tackle. He falls through the back half of the creature, spiders swarming all over him.

"Stop! Biting! Me!" he shouts from within his cocoon of bugs.

The young woman with the clipboard is shouting on the phone to someone. "You said this would work, goddamnit! Is there a cure or not? ... Well, you'd better double-check, then, shouldn't you?!"

Spider-Woman (Drew) has posed:
"They're spiders, it's kind of what they do," Jessica offers every so helpfully, trying to lead the swarm away from the civilians. "Look, maybe you should...stop trying to dive into it," she suggests, even as she shimmies up a light pole.

"The thing falls apart when you run into it, then you get bitten, and I really don't need //two// of these things to deal with. I'm not the one with the webs." Jessica fires another venom blast at a trailing line of spiders, working them down through attrition as she tries to come up with a broader plan.

Doc Samson has posed:
"I had /hoped/ there was something substantial in there," Samson growls, still swatting spiders off of himself.

"Hey!" the woman with the clipboard shouts from a position of relative safety across the barricaded set. "My scientist boyfriend says it can be reversed, but all the spiders have to be collected! And then ... yes, hang on, I'm saying it," she says into the phone before continuing, "some sort of electrical pulse can reverse their absorption of her body!"

Samson stands and looks at a venom blast in action. "So ... if I can find a new container, you think you can shoot it with whatever /that/ was to seal the deal?"

Spiders-lady chimes in by trying to knock Samson over with a giant arm. Unfortunately, the arm is made of spiders, so instead the arm just breaks, spilling its spiders all over the doctor.

Spider-Woman (Drew) has posed:
"Yeah, sure, sounds great." Jessica flips off of the lightpost and onto a trailer, scanning the area. "But that's a few steps down the line. First we find a container, then we //get her// and all her tiny spider parts //into// the container. That seems like it's probably the harder part."

She eyes a fire hydrant, then dismisses it with a shake of her head, distracted long enough for a line of spiders to make its way up her arm. "Easy there, little guys, that's a waste of effort, but it's still gross," she says, giving herself a shake.

Doc Samson has posed:
A nearby truck honks its horn. "Hey! Come on!" the driver shouts, sticking his head out of the window. "I'm runnin' late! These things ain't gonna deliver themselves!"

The side of the truck reads

TANKS FOR <ALMOST> NOTHING
Aquarium Delivery--Nobody's Faster!

Samson begins to say something, but a bunch of spiders crawl in his mouth and he's forced to hack them up, shoving a hand into his mouth to grab a number and toss them onto the ground.

Spider-Woman (Drew) has posed:
"Ask and ye shall receive..." Jessica executes a series of flips and leaps until she reaches the truck, slamming into the side with a hollow thunk of metal. "Really sorry about this," she calls over to the driver. "Someone will definitely reimburse you. Probably. You know what, we'll figure it out //after// the spider-monster-lady thing is done."

Climbing to the back of the truck, she pulls open the door to find the largest tank available. "For the record," she continues as she pulls it out, seeming to have no trouble with the weight, "You should ask where your 'scientist' boyfriend got his degree, because if he was involved in this, he's got some serious issues with his methodology."

Doc Samson has posed:
Samson attempts to scoop up as many spiders as he can, chucking piles of them at the tank that Jessica's picked up. "Is there some sort of spider attractant that we can use to facilitate this?" he shouts, exasperated.

The woman on the clipboard nods as she's on the phone. "It might respond to her name!" she calls out. "And he's still /getting/ his degree, so /back off/! Two semesters left!"

"Her name is Eudora--" Samson begins, but he's immediately doused in spiders. He jogs, blindly, in a direction mostly toward the tank. "Call--*blghk*--call her name!"

Spider-Woman (Drew) has posed:
"Well it's that or doing something I //really// hate doing, so..." Jessica sets the tank down with the widest opening available toward the swarm, then crouches behind the glass, calling over.

"Hey, Eudora!" she calls. "How about we take a nice chill over here? Pull yourself together?" Apparently the questionably witty banter is endemic to spider-sorts.

Doc Samson has posed:
A hideous shriek emanates from the spider-swarm, which detaches itself from Doc Samson and half-skitters, half-rolls toward the tank, each component spider desperately trying to leap at and bite Jessica Drew ... only they're separated by a thick pane of aquarium glass.

"Clear!" Samson shouts. "Hit it!"

He turns to point a finger at the woman with the clipboard. "And I need /you/ to give me the number for your boss. They're about to enter a world of legal pain..."

Spider-Woman (Drew) has posed:
Once the spiders are inside the tank, Jessica reaches inside as well. "Mildly sorry about this, but also, hopefully you learned something about jumping into tanks of spiders today..."

The yellow-green glow builds around both hands, brighter and brighter, until she releases it into the mass of spiders with an electric snap in the air.

Doc Samson has posed:
The electrified spiders explode in a mass of bright green goo.

"YYYAAAHAHHHHHHHH!" shouts Eudora Gernblatt, who appears within the tank, coated in goo. "What--what--what--what..." she continues, clearly in shock.

Samson grabs a tablecloth and strides toward the tank. "You may want this," he says, draping it about the woman's shoulders. "And we'll need proper medical attention to address her immediate needs," he says to Jessica. "Although I'm happy to help treat her psychiatrically for longer-term effects of this experience." He clears his throat. "Thank you."

Spider-Woman (Drew) has posed:
"Yeah, I've got a feeling the psychiatric help part is going to be the more important part," Jessica says ruefully, shaking some extra goop off of her hand as she steps back. She gives Samson a long look, weighing. "Look, I get the feeling you weren't exactly read in on that science of what they were planning here, but...if I were you, I don't think I'd stay involved with this particular production."

Doc Samson has posed:
The doctor slowly nods. "Yeah," he says with a sigh. "I'm going to have to agree with you. I was involved with a similar production before ... and it didn't go well. But I've got a very enthusiastic agent, and I let him talk me into another." Samson shakes his head, and bits of glass and spider fall from his hair.

"That's what I get for letting myself get talked into this. But I can't help think that someone else would just not be capable of effective help. Should, well, /this/ sort of thing happen." He sighs again. "So now I at least get to sic my attorney on them. And I'm sure Ms. Gernblatt here will do the same."

Spider-Woman (Drew) has posed:
"I get the feeling there are a lot of people who'd be interested in shutting this down," Jessica says grimly. "This is a confused housewife in the middle of the city. What happens when they make another mistake and it ends up being someone who's already dangerous or unstable? Not to mention the likelihood of the people coming up with this stuff getting taken by people who want it for less scrupulous purposes..."

You know, like irradiating yourself and your unborn child to cause spider powers.

She cuts herself off with a deep breath, pushing a hand through her hair. "All right. This is...under control?"

Doc Samson has posed:
"Ostensibly, there are screening procedures," Samson says, rubbing his temple. "But it's certainly clear that ... they're just not following any such procedures." He groans. "I'll document as much as I can in preparation for the inevitable disposition."

Samson looks around and throws up his hands, palms up. "I /guess/ it's under control? I'll share the info I have with the authorities, and poor Eudora here is under my care until the EMTs show up. You were incredible." He frowns. "Who should I say helped save the day, when the cops ask?"

Spider-Woman (Drew) has posed:
Jessica laughs at the question, smile flashing as she offers over a hand. "That would be the //actual// Spider-Woman," she says, amusement rich in her voice. "And let me tell you, it took a ot more than a vat full of irradiated spiders, and even at that I can't recommend doing any of it on purpose. Just for the record."

Doc Samson has posed:
"Fascinating," Samson replies, nodding in response to her disclosure. "All the more curious, then, isn't it? What a world of strange coincidences. And while I'm very interested in learning more, I know this isn't the best time to do so. But if you ever want to talk--as I'm guessing you've had to see and deal with a lot, given that a vat of spiders seems so blase in comparison--then my office is always open. Figuratively, at least."

Spider-Woman (Drew) has posed:
"Wouldn't be the first time," Jessica replies, sounding amused again. "Believe me, Doc, I've got enough going on to keep a whole practice in business for a lifetime. You need any backup with these people, you can reach out to SHIELD or the Avengers. They'll know how to reach me." As things get a little more in order, she takes a step back, glancing toward the ice cream shop that was her original destination. "And keep an eye on these guys. They're definitely trouble."

Doc Samson has posed:
"Oh?" Samson raises one eyebrow. "I'll do that. Keeping an eye on that shop /and/ reaching out to SHIELD as needed," he says. "Thanks again, all the same, for bringing Eudora back to herself."

Samson kneels and pats the traumatized woman on the shoulder. "You're okay now, ma'am. And help is on the way. I promise. We'll get you cleaned up and in a safe place."