10917/How Do You Do It

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How Do You Do It
Date of Scene: 29 January 2020
Location: Roof Tower - Xavier's School
Synopsis: Jean was shocked by an unusual experience and calls on a friend with experience in such matter, finding yet again what an admirable woman Carol Danvers is.
Cast of Characters: Phoenix, Captain Marvel (Danvers)




Phoenix has posed:
Jean has had another powerful nightmare, she had encountered another instance where somehow her reaction was wrong. Not quite herself, not entirely explainable. She even realized at one point she was looking at someone and feeling nothing towards them, a very stark anomaly for her. There was only one other person she could think to consult with, having experienced anything along the lines of her recent experience, and so she telepathically reached out to Carol Danvers, to check if she can meet her for a rooftop chat.

Captain Marvel (Danvers) has posed:
Carol hadn't come up to the Mansion itself in a while. Since before she went missing through the portal with Rogue, which had been all over the news on New Year's Day. But she'd returned, and even made it out to Rogue's 21st birthday party. But she hadn't managed to catch up with Jean, and so when she got that little telepathic pager alert she was quick to drop everything and head that way.

She appears in the sky like a shooting star, glowing as she lowers down from the heavens to come to a soft landing on the Mansion's rooftop tower. She takes a few steps towards Jean, going so far as to wrap her arms about her shoulders and draw her in for an uncharacteristic hug.

"I'm glad to see you."

Phoenix has posed:
Jean looks a bit detached as Carol approaches, offering her a small wave of her hand, before being drawn to an unexpected embrace. She eases a bit at the warm gesture, and whispers, "thank you for coming, Carol, I needed to talk to someone who might understand."

She moves to sit down on the roof, making sure the immediate area is clear, before proceeding, "I wasn't at Rogue's birthday because of what something...but I'm still not sure about it. But I figured I could ask you about something similar..." she then turns to look Carol intently in the eyes, wincing a bit as she murmurs, "I'm sorry if it's inappropriate to ask of you, but, you remember when your memories were first restored after you lost them, but after they were restored, you had zero emotional connection to any of them? Like they were foreign or something?"

Captain Marvel (Danvers) has posed:
"Yeah," Carol says with a nod, picking up the thread straight away. She might have forgiven Rogue, even moved on to the point of treating her something like a surrogate daughter, but the pain of those wounds still lingered even if they had more or less healed. She moves towards the edge of the tower, sitting down upon it and crossing her arms low over her stomach. She watches Jean quietly, studying her to try and learn something of what bothers her - she can't read minds like her, but she can read bodies.

"Like you're seeing pictures in a book. You know what they mean, but they're missing a dimension. They're flat. Why? What happened?"

Phoenix has posed:
"I think I experienced something, similar, or at least, something that might have felt like it..." Jean mutters, a bit distraught, feeling a bit more at ease to let go in the presence of Carol and without a student about. "I was away at home on the weekend, and when I looked at my parents, at my sister, they felt like strangers...like I didn't want to be anywhere near them. Like they were wasting my time, and I don't mean as a joke," she stops herself from rambling, squinting a bit and adding, "I mean it is bothering me now. So clearly, it wasn't as long lasting as what you experienced, but it freaked me out."

She reaches out to embrace Carol again, if allowed, and speaks more quietly in her ear, "how do you cope with that?"

Captain Marvel (Danvers) has posed:
"I don't know if the answer is going to help you here, Jean," Carol says with a sigh, "But it's really just ... I don't know, what's a good word? Academic. It's academic. You just need to remind yourself that it's all just chemistry. Everything you think and are? It's stuff sloshing up against other stuff."

There's a pause and she laughs, lifting a hand to pinch the bridge of her nose and shaking her head.

"That sounds awful. Not what I mean. Of course there's more to it than that. But your emotions? When they feel wrong or just - you know, absent? That's that stuff not sloshing together right. You know you should care about them. Maybe it's something about the power you have that makes your mind process memory differently - you'd have to talk to Professor Xavier about that - but you just need to remember what you should feel. Convince yourself that the memory is what you want it to be, rather than what it is. Eventually you're going to make that connection in your head. The same way you get attached to an old jacket over time."

She shakes her head again, puffing out her cheeks and sighing: "I sound like the most demented self-help guru you've ever heard, don't I?"

Phoenix has posed:
Jean looks truly and deeply stunned by Carol's response. It's so realistic and ground in biology, which is about as far as possible from her usual emotive take on things. Carol's insight and candor just winds up jarring Jean a bit, as she maintains the embrace for a moment before starting to let go. For whatever reason, she feels a bit cold having processed Carol's brutal honesty.

"I haven't said that to anyone since I returned from space, but, I'm scared," Jean whispers to Carol, taking in her advice to seek out Professor Xavier.

She goes silent for a moment, but a giggle escapes her despite her efforts to avoid it, when she finally admits, "yes! You kinda do!"

Captain Marvel (Danvers) has posed:
"I know I tend to just think with this," Carol says, tapping her chest where her heart is - almost as though she's read Jean's mind herself, "And that works. It gets you where you want. But sometimes this fails you, and you've gotta approach it like a problem. When you're flying, guts and instinct don't always fill in the gaps. Sometimes it's arithmetic. A problem with a fixed solution, and you need to take your heart out of it."

When Jean says she's scared, Carol moves to stand alongside her. An arm lifts to wrap around her shoulders, drawing her in a bit closer and resting her chin atop the woman's head. It's a show of affection, probably one that's hard to come by in a place where so many people look to her for guidance - a mentor rather than a person.

"You be scared. If you're scared, that means those memories still mean something to you somewhere. There's still a thread. You just need to find it and grab hold of it."

Phoenix has posed:
"You know what they used to call me at this school when I was younger? The bleeding heart," Jean confesses sheepishly, pointed at a weakness of hers well known to any who has been around her long enough. She cares too much, about everyone. She tries to fix the whole world. It's a losing endeavor. So the thought of taking her heart out of the equation is a hard one. Particularly when she had that empathy encouraged and drilled into her, seeing how otherwise devastive her power would be if she wasn't the person she became.

Jean melts into Carol's affectionate touch, appreciating the ability to let go and not be the rock, as she whispers, "you've carved a path for yourself, Carol, but you gained a whole different level of wisdom in the process. Thank you for coming when I asked, I think as disturbing as it may be, I needed to hear this."

Captain Marvel (Danvers) has posed:
"You've always got me to lean on, Jean," Carol promises, not removing her arm and giving her shoulder a warm-hearted squeeze, "If you ever need to get out of here? Take a day off? A weekend? I'm here. We'll go to Starling or something. Hell, we can go to Disneyland. I keep promising to take Rogue and Cait there and I still haven't done it."

Once more she smiles, another squeeze: "Just take care of yourself, okay? You might carry the school on your shoulders, but that doesn't account for nothing if you let those foundations crack."