1159/The Regina Monologues

The Regina Monologues
Date of Scene:	26 June 2017
Location:	Starling, Canada
Synopsis:	Wade introduces Natasha to Starling and the DeadHut
Cast of Characters:	Deadpool, Black Widow (Romanoff)

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Deadpool has posed:
It was summer in Starling and Deadpool had brought Natasha home to see the great white north, or in this case, the great colourful north. Green trees, blue skies, clean streets, Starling in the summer was paradise. A bit hot, but he was wearing his beige cargo shorts, a black t-shirt with a cartoon Deadpool on it. He had bought it from some guy in New York. Sure, it was probably trademark infringement, but Wade forgot to trademark it, so it was his own darn fault. He was using an image inducer to make his skin look normal, but the clothing was real and he was real to the touch.

They had just teleported in a few minutes earlier, but thankfully nobody had seemed to notice their arrival, "welcome to Canada" he said a little too theatrically, and that got some stares, but nobody said anything. They were too polite to do so. In fact, someone had just dropped some trash on the street, and a complete stranger picked it up and put it into a nearby recycling bin, muttering, "she either didn't see it, or doesn't care, and I don't know which is worse."

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
Natasha takes a look around where they have arrived, comfortably dressed in jeans and a t-shirt with a picture of the Avengers on the front. Well, the main guys. For some reason, she and Hawkeye were left off. Seemed to happen a lot which she didn't care enough to worry about. She watches the person picking up the garbage, listening to the muttering. Then she turns to Wade, unable to hide a smile. "We are definitely not in New York City," she says, shaking her head. "I thought that was just a cliche about people in Canada being like that. You're trying to tell me that," she points to toward the back of the stranger who is walking away. "Is the norm here?"

It's a little hard to believe. She figures they are just like American Light.

Deadpool has posed:
"Actually, yeah." He replied, seeming to know a fair bit about Hollywood North, "There's a fair chance that the guy who dropped the trash is an American tourist from Seattle, or just an asshat Canadian. But when they film stuff up here, they have to litter the streets to make it look more American. There's even a company that makes fake trash, realistic looking, but doesn't degrade. Made out of some kind of matte plastic, metal, other stuff, they can even make it look like fake pieces of paper that are decomposing, but aren't."

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
He's kidding. This is Wade. He does that all the time.

That isn't his kidding face. Nor is that his kidding posture or body language.

"Bozhe Moi." Natasha shakes her head a little and looks around again. "The fact that place exists surprises me. The fact that trash makes a place look more American? Doesn't." She slips her arm through his, leaning against his shoulder. "So why are we here anyway? You were playing things a little close to your chest when you asked me to c--visit." She's not stupid. She's been with him long enough not to give an opportunity like that. Unless she wants to hear the smart comment. Which he probably won't be deterred from because he's him.

Deadpool has posed:
Wade grinned at her mid-word correction, "nice sidestep there," she knew it, and he knew it, so he didn't have to make the joke. She probably could hear all manner of ideas that came to mind anyway, and all in his voice. That's the thing about Wade's comedy. He tried not to go for the obvious stuff. It was too easy. "I just thought it'd be nice to break immigration controls and have a nice day out in the Great White North TM," he actually said the 'TM' portion, even though it wasn't white, well, besides the people. Everyone here seemed to be of European, Indian subcontinent, or East Asian descent. "I keep a home here, and I thought you should see it. You know, so you know I don't have any hot blonde Russians from Vladivostok on the side or anything."

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"I'm learning," Natasha says in regards to the word play. Something about the way he says that has her pausing in mid stride, glancing over at him.

Hot blondes? There likely are some operatives who match that description but she hasn't met them. Why did that sound so odd, like there was such a thing and he knew about it.

"You mean you don't want the full set. Redhead, blonde and brunette?" He better answer this right or she might punch him right there on the street. Which would probably cause all the nice people around them to pass out in horror.

Deadpool has posed:
"Sure, the full set would be nice, but as far as I know, there aren't any clones of you, so, I'll just have to be content with the original. Maybe I should have made a joke about not knowing your natural hair and colour being okay with you, no matter what colour your hair is?" He pondered this aloud, though it was hard to say he was talking to her, or maybe one of the voices in his head. "Point is, you are all I want. One, or a dozen, if they're all you, I'll be as happy as a beaver in a rainy mountain meadow." Did he just make that up, or is it a Canadian saying?

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
Natasha is going to go with it being made up.

They can't be that strange, can they? Nevermind, she doesn't want an answer. She'll just stick with her thoughts this time.

"Good answer." He doesn't get punched. People don't faint. Cops don't get called. National Guard, or whatever they have, not called in to contain the threat.

"I know you're a part of Alpha Flight?" But it sounds more like a question than a statement, despite the choice of words. She's not sure if he is actually still active on their roster despite the time she's spent with him.

Deadpool has posed:
"Technically Beta Flight." He admits, "They say I'm too much of a troublemaker for the senior team, but I've been putting in a lot of practice, working on my free throws and my slapshot. I'm ready, but the coach still won't put me in. I have to wait for somebody to get hurt, and I'm not going to Tonya Harding my way onto the team. It didn't work too well for her either."

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"So you don't want me to break someone's leg? Pity," Natasha says with a smirk, leaning against him again as they walk. It's actually a very nice city. Pretty, clean. She can see the appeal.

"Is that why you have a place here?" He knows she has safehouses all over the world. "Or because you actually like it?"

It's letting her get some insight into the man she shares her life with now. It's a new relationship so they are still learning about each other. All those little details that make things interesting. The major things like not drinking out of the milk jug, putting the seat down and capping the toothpaste have already been established.

Deadpool has posed:
Wade pauses to consider that, and is tempted to say yes, but in the end, he shakes his head in the negative motion, "nah, but ask me again later when I'm not feeling quite so moral." As for the place, "I was born in Canada's version of a flyover state. Not much to see there. But the west coast, that's the best part of Canada. All the advantages with only a fraction of the snowfall." In fact, Wade was a little annoying at those other things, but for odd reasons. He liked to drink milk, whole milk, but he called it homo as in homogenised. He always put the seat down, but he also put the lid down too, which was just as inconvenient. And he probably wasn't brushing his teeth nearly as often as he should.

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
Snowfall. Not something she minds as much as some other people. It reminds her of her homeland but in a positive way. There are very few things that don't bring up darker memories but the snow? That was something she always loved. Strange really, it wasn't like she got to play and build snowmen as a child. Her childhood was never about happiness. It was more as an adult, sitting watching the snowfall, the beauty and peacefulness of it all.

"So why do you have a place here instead of the west coast if it is so much more appealing?" she asks curiously. "Or do you have a place on both?"

Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool can be confusing at the best of times. It's hard to keep up with the way his mind works, even for seasoned veterans like Natasha. "We're in Starling, not Regina. I'd show you Regina, but it's kind of Canada's equivalent to Siberia. It's cold. There's the a Canadian Football team. Luke Oliver suggested building a statue for me there. He even got 3,761 signatures. But Mayor Michael Fougere said nope. I hate that guy. The mayor, not Luke. Luke is cool."

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"Nothing wrong with the cold," Natasha says, wondering about this Regina place. She'll have to get him to show that place as well. Eventually. Right now, she's liking the relaxing feel of Starling. Well, as relaxed as she ever gets. She looks it but she's always keeping tabs on her surroundings, paranoia a wonderful thing.

"Why did he want to build a statue to you? Something particularly heroic you did or simply because you are wonderful?"

Deadpool has posed:
"Oh, it was definitely because of the latter. I thought you knew that? And for the record, you're way more wonderful than I am." He gave Natasha a gentle squeeze. "Wanna see the Deadhut?" Okay, that totally sounded worse than he intended, but it's what he calls his place here in Starling.

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
Natasha returns the hug, leaning her head on his shoulder again. Until the invitation.

"The...I'm sorry, did you say Deadhut?" She draws her head back to look at him more closely, doing that thing she does when she's not sure if he's serious. He does want to show her somewhere, she just doesn't know if that name is made up or not. It's not something she can ascertain from body language. After all, if he believes it's the Deadhut at the moment, then that is what his stance shows.

Deadpool has posed:
"I'm Deadpool. It's my hut. So, Deadhut." In point of fact, it's actually a very expensive home. Starling prices are absolutely insane. Something to do with the limited land available and the foreign investment, plus the high quality of life, and it's a perfect storm for such things. "Come on, it'll be fun?"

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"I'm with you. Fun is a given," Natasha says, amusement in her green eyes. Deadhut. It just seems a little odd. Again. Look who she's with. She isn't sure she will ever get used to him which is a major reason why she cares for him as much as she does. After so long, it's nice to have something be unpredictable. To be surprised, but not in a sniper-in-the-window kind of way.

"So this time it's your place instead of mine." Although they actually spend all their time in his places come to think of it. She likes it there, he made space for her. Her own penthouse was sterile.

Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool is many things, but perhaps most of all, he is alive. He lives. He enjoys life. Even if he's deeply depressed at the state of his own skin, and his line of work, and all the assorted pain that comes with it. Ever since he's been with Natasha. Things haven't seemed bad at all. The psychological scars are still there, but they've been buried beneath the surface, for the most part.

"Just for the record, it, like everything else that used to be mine, is now ours... and I don't say that lightly. In this country, long time heterosexual roommates can end up being considered in a common law marriage as far as property, support, and all that."

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
That earns a soft smile and a shake of the head. She reaches up a hand to touch his cheek gently. "Wade, I don't want you things. Well, some of your things," she says in a tone that lets him know she isn't thinking about property or material goods. "But you don't have to give me half of your belongings. I have my own things, accumulated through time. You don't have to share your toys." Wait, she needs to cover that one too. "And you know what I mean before you take that the wrong way," she says with a laugh.

Deadpool has posed:
Wade was grinning widely throughout, and he kept his tongue firmly bitten at the obvious opportunity. Instead, he makes a counter offer, "why don't we go see our new home and see if we can find any toys to play with?"

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
Natasha laughs, unable to stop herself. "Why don't we do just that? And if there aren't any toys, I'm sure we can figure something out." She purposefully did not say she was sure something would come up. Even if she is. "Lead on," she says, dropping her hand from his cheek.