12146/Homeward Bounds

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Homeward Bounds
Date of Scene: 09 September 2020
Location: Midtown, New York. Then The Bar with No Name, Location Unknown.
Synopsis: Avengers and Co. get swept up in a dazzling story of romance, intrigue, and... actually they just get teleported by Lockjaw to a supervillain bar.
Cast of Characters: Iron Man, Nightingale, Pixie, Phantasm (Drago), Thor, Winter Soldier, Hulk




Iron Man has posed:
"Can't believe that I'm doing this..."

It's been a recurring theme with Tony lately to end up in a state of disbelief over his own choices, which probably means he's suffering from acute self-delusion.

But whether he believes it or not, he's currently flying above New York at about skyscraper height, on a direct course for the downtown area. His rocket boots propel him pretty fast, despite being vintage equipment, as is the rest of the armor set he's been wearing lately.

He should really get the new one fixed.

"Hey! Is this thing on?"

Operating the old-school helmet transceiver with his mouth, Iron Man broadcasts across the H.E.R.O. Network channel that he's been trying so hard to get the country's heroes to sign up for. Surprisingly few takers so far, which is baffling. Come on, it's free.

Just to play it safe, he also opens up his SHIELD channel, having already put in calls to the Other Hero Groups in the New York Area.

"From what I got on our tip line, there's some sort of big... magic dog-thing blocking traffic out near the old Baxter Building location. This is waaaay below my pay grade, but when life gives you lemons, go buy some scotch. Could be an amazing photo op, and might get us all on the morning shows if we rescue somebody's dog."

"But if it really IS some big magic dog-thing... well..."

That part remains unfinished, as Iron Man nears the area. He canvasses the area, propelled through the sky by vintage Rocket Fuel. Sure enough, as he circles the buildings, it doesn't take him long to pinpoint the exact cause of the disturbance, and he begins gradually cutting the thrusters and starts his descent.

Sure enough, out in front of the old Baxter Building location, a couple of police officers and some Animal Control experts are currently in the middle of some sort of stand-off with an enormous brown sack of drool.

An enormous brown sack of drool with a weird tuning fork on its forehead.

This has caused traffic to get hopelessly backed up.

Nightingale has posed:
     When in New York, Shannon had learned the hard way that it was probably wisest to have her Bluetooth earpiece in, just in case. The city wasn't exactly known for being peaceful--and her luck with avoiding trouble on something as simple as a run to check out a new eatery was absolutely horrid. Today was proving to be the case, as her phone did its little buzzing dance, and her earpiece went off.

     "What the h... how did you get this... never mind. I don't wanna know." The winged teen groans softly, motioning over to Pixie. "So much for checking out this shawarma place. You getting this call too?" Shannon shakes her head, knowing full well that it was going to be a late night getting back to the school. But hey, at least it was the weekend, right?

     "Okay, never mind how you got this number, I can take a wild guess. Nightingale here, eyes in the sky. What's the sitrep?" With a glance at Pixie, she takes a few running steps, wings outspread to soar into the sky, and get a better look at the situation in hand.

Pixie has posed:
Megan Gwynn had received the SOS and was a little curious about this whole...Dog thing. As she flies alongside Shannon over the city, she peers around for any sight of this..Dog thing.

"Umm...Sooo, Mr. Stark called us out here for a....Dog thing? Instead of like..Animal control? And um....?" Oh, there's Iron Man, and, uh...Animal control.

And a giant dog thing.

With a giant pitchfork in its head.

"Okaaay? That's new.." she makes a face as she heads towards the stand off.

Phantasm (Drago) has posed:
"What in the -"

It was supposed to be a peaceful Friday evening. Just head home. Get some rest, grab a flight tomorrow and go talk to some film types elsewhere. But things are never peaceful in New York City.

Which is why his walk home is a bit marred as he walks up on the scene as himself.

Head tilting the ball capped rocker looks to the dog, and then to the police officers and animal control. They're going to need a bigger truck probably.

Seeing the two mutants pop up, he lifts up a hand in greeting to Shannon and Megan. "Hey guys."

Thor has posed:
There is a crack of thunder in the air, followed by a flicker of lightning that ripples overhead as Thor appears, being guided by his mighty hammer. There is a heavy rush of wind as the Avenger comes barreling down to the ground, landing in a three point stance as cracks form beneath him on the street. As he slowly pulls himself upwards, facing off towards the large canine, he grips his hammer tightly.

"Tony! I heard your call over the magic box and came as quickly as I could! What is this mighty beast and how do I slay it?"

Giving a toss of his blonde locks behind him, the God of thunder and lightning revels in the moment and the prospect of a throwdown. His hammer spins about in his hand as it clenches the leather loop that dangles off the end of Mjolnir, spinning rapidly and crackling with energy.

"You are puny, not like my pup, Cerberus, Tony, he only has one head! It's adorable! I fear that I would look most like a villain if I was to punch it."

Winter Soldier has posed:
    He's not cruising. That would imply trying to show off, and revel in the sheer joy of driving a motorbike built with his own two h-... built with his own hand and one on permanent lease. Not so.

    Bucky isn't one for showing off.

    Instead he's driving, taking the bike out on what is clearly a maintenance run, just to make sure it's still running fine. Disregard that he seems to do this almost daily, and seems to revel in the sheer joy of driving the bike he built. Joy there is. Reveling he might be. But he's not showing off.

    That would be irresponsible and unprofessional.

    Probably about as unprofessional as frowning at something coming through his SHIELD earpiece just as he's opening the throttle down Park Lane, rolling his eyes immediately afterwards. "Copied, Stark. Try not to get drooled on, I'm on my way."

    Honestly! Dogs? How is that even an...

    Oh.

    The quintessential dog owner, Lilli's human, the Winter Soldier, rolls to a stop, cutting the engine before coasting. Let's not make any sudden noises or scare the pooch. With the bike on its stand, he saunters over to the incident site, looking up at their adversary, looking up at the flying figures, marking a few of them, and then looks around to see who else has responded.

    Mark another few familiar faces.

    He's far too relaxed, it seems, when he walks up to Thor and looks first at the hammer, and then at the giant mutt. "Worst possible villain. Let's try to avoid it, but let's also hope we're not going to have to find a giant newspaper to roll up."

Iron Man has posed:
As Iron Man's Rocket Boots touch ground, there are a few cheers and horn honks from the people who are stuck in traffic. A lot of less nice demonstrations of affection as well, but then, this is New York.

At least nobody flashed him this time.

Oh wait. That guy did.

The giant dog, which is what it appears to be, looks vaguely similar to an English Bulldog. But about eight times that size, maybe more. Its shoulder would be roughly the same height as the average human's, putting it directly at eye level with someone like Bucky or Thor.

Pixie could probably walk underneath it without stooping...

Currently, the Dog is barking every few seconds. It's very very very loud, but not really an angry or aggressive bark. More... a communicative one? Still, it's enough to freak out the police officers, and the Animal Control people haven't dared get too close yet. Their nets are way too small anyway.

"Easy guys... with our luck this thing is just waiting to... huh?"

The dog looks at the new arrivals, cocking his head to one side as if he's a bit confused.

This doesn't seem to be the group of heroes that he expected to show up...

"Hang on a sec... I know who this is!" Tony's voice gets excited, modulated through the soundsystems in his Antique Armor.

"Dude! This is Lockjaw! He's awesome! Don't worry officers, this is one of the Good Guys."

Taking his helmet off, Tony starts to walk a bit closer to the giant animal.

Just then, Lockjaw starts growling.

Nightingale has posed:
     "For someone who's one of the 'good guys', sir, that sure sounds like one pissed-off pooch." Shannon frowns to herself, banking to make a wide circle in the air to see if she could spot anything that could be upsetting the uncanny canine. The closer Tony seemed to be getting, the more the dog was growling. "Ummm, sir? Maybe try taking a step back, see if that helps?"

     Cue in some more familiar faces as events unfold. Thor? Check. Nick? Check. And one she did not expect to ever see again, but was present anyhow--Winter Soldier? Check. With that many heavy hitters in the immediate area, Shannon makes doubly certain to give the otherworldly pooch a wide berth. The others were likely better equipped to deal with him anyhow--but that didn't mean she couldn't act as a lookout!

Pixie has posed:
Megan Gwynn blinks slowly as she lands, smiling faintly and nodding to Phantasm, "Hey you!" and then she spots other familiar figures: Thor and Winter Soldier are both given a smile and nods, and..It's really hard to take this giant dog guy seriously..Especially when Tony starts talking like he KNOWS the dog..Like he's his buddy!

"Er..Mister Stark? Are you sure he's..Harmless?" she frowns at the growling, taking a step back. "Umm...Want me to port him somewhere less..Crowded?"

Phantasm (Drago) has posed:
Hearing the thunder Nick turns his head to see the Thunderer show up, then looking over to Tony in his suit. "...I think this might be overkill. I get that he's big, but, that pup looks kind of sweet. So long as no one does anything stupid..." The rocker pauses, looking over to the civillian walking up to Thor. Is tha-? "Huh, all sorts of familiar faces tonight." Nick comments with a smile, giving James a wave.

Hearing the growl coming from the now titled Lockjaw as Tony starts to approach, Nick turns, watching. "Well it seems he is in a bit of a mood."

Thor has posed:
"Let us hope this great beast does not find a fire hydrant to relieve himself upon!" Thor quips to Bucky with a wry grin on his face as he holsters his hammer upon his belt once it appears Tony knows the magical pooch from the blue side of the moon.

"Tony, perhaps it is not fond of your aftershave! How do thee know this dog?" Folding his broad arms over his chest, he revels in the attention that the Avengers appear to be having from the locals as pictures are being snapped. He flashes his white teeth in a wide, charming grin as he tips a wink out to the crowd.

"Never fear, mortals! The Avengers have this well in hand. Please stand back!" As he steps up to Tony's side and the growling dog, he rumbles out in his deep throat of baritone. "Sit!" He points towards the sidewalk. "Now."

Thor is not a dog whisperer.

Winter Soldier has posed:
    There are many familiar faces here, and many greetings to be returned. Given the circumstances, Bucky opts for a slightly varied nod to each, depending entirely on distance, familiarity and level of surprise at seeing them here. This includes expressive eyebrows, free of charge, a rare offering in the Buchanan store.

    But the greatest attention goes to Lockjaw, who gets a greeting all of his own. Bucky's head tilts to the side, as he steps forward slightly, eyebrows raising, allowing a smile to appear on his features (no teeth!).

    He reaches out to put a hand on Thor's and Tony's shoulders, looking between the Avengers. "Give him some space guys. Mind if I go say hello?"

Iron Man has posed:
Cocking his head toward Shannon, Lockjaw stops growling and lets out a pitiful, high-pitched whine, but at the suggestion about 'porting' from Pixie, he suddenly perks up and barks urgently. Urgently, but not angrily.

"WROHRF! AROHRF! ROHRF ROHRF!" Anybody who speaks Inhuman Dog Language will probably be able to translate.

"Huh. I think Lockjaw's trying to tell us something..." Tony runs a metal-gloved finger along one side of his mustache, as if trying to figure out a quick plan to deal with this. Clearly, they can't just let Lockjaw stay out and cause traffic delays. But then he's not exactly a dog whisperer himself.

For his part, Lockjaw pointedly does NOT sit when commanded. Instead, he simply howls.

Like this: "ARRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

As he howls, the tuning fork on his enormous head begins to glow, and begins to crackle with electricity. The dog's blue eyes start to glow with some sort of inner illumination, and a very long string of drool begins to form at the corner of his mouth.

"Uh... you might want to hold off on that for a sec, Jimmy, pretty sure he's about to..."

FLASH!

DISORIENTATION!

INNER EAR BUZZING!

The world around the group of heroes begins to change, warping horribly. Let's hope none of Our Heroes are susceptible to seizures!

Nightingale has posed:
     That pitiful whine was something Shannon could not ignore. Circling just a tiny bit closer, she drops her voice a notch, keeping her tone soft and soothing. "Hey... what's wrong? You're not hurt, are you?" The instinct to heal was kicking in, and she circles a touch closer still, talking softly to the giant dog. "Nobody means to hurt you... shhh, it's going to be ok..."

     BZZZZZT! ZAP!

     "Look ou... ah, scheisse..."

     Miss Grey was /not/ going to like this!

Pixie has posed:
Megan Gwynn frowns, reaching an arm out towards Shannon, "Be careful! We don't know what we're dealing with.." And she continues to warily eye that tuning fork thingy, trying to figure out what sort of creature doggo is..Is he a mutant? Alien? Some sort of magical creature? But she sure doesn't sense anything magical about him, and is certainly unprepared for when he suddenly zaps them all..

ZAP! WHAM! BAMP!

"Uh...What the....!?"

Phantasm (Drago) has posed:
As Lockjaw starts going crazy at the word porting, he gets a sinking feeling in his stomach. However that's all he really has time to really get. "...Maybe we should ge-"

He stops as Lockjaw starts howling and glowing. And-

Oh God. It feels like when the pyrotechnics timing is severely off. Raising a scarred arm up to shield his eyes, the musician squints, turning his head away. "Oh not t-"

Thor has posed:
"Settle down, dog! Thou's bark is too loud!"

Thor wrinkles his nose at the loud howling, and when it's antennae begins to glow and sparkle, his eyes widen, followed by a bolstering grin upon his face. He reaches for his hammer, almost assured that they were finally about to get a fight.

Instead, he gets a splitting headache and stars popping in his eyes. "Tony! What's going on? I feel like that time you took me on those rol--"

As they blip away, his voice trails off before being sucked out of existance.

*ping*

Winter Soldier has posed:
    Giant dogs are still dogs that need care, attention and lots of reassurance. There is a soft spot in Bucky for man's best friend, even if they happen to be giant, probably from outer space, and capable of biting him half. Possibly that only makes him want to protect them more.

    But most dogs don't have tuning forks sticking out of their heads that suddenly crackle with power, and if they do, their eyes most definitely don't glow with an unearthly inner light. Although it's probably a given that, should another dog exists where both statements are true, there would still be drool. Universal canine trait.

    "Is he supposed to ..."

    ZAP! BZZZZZZZZZ!

    Okay, so, that happened. And leave it to Bucky to hear swearing in German before he's even taken stock of where they've been taken, and the next slips out entirely unheeded. "Sprache, Fraulein!" Youth these days... and those days... and mostly any day that he can remember. Including when he /was/ a youth.

    "Okay. Now we know what the good boy wanted."

Iron Man has posed:
"So's like I was sayin', Dan. 'Fore you interrupted me, which is a POWERFUL rude habit you got!"

"Awww... shaddup Montana! You and Ox have been bugging me all damn day, and if you..."

The Bar with No Name is way less busy than usual. But it's still fairly early on a Friday, and most supervillains don't start drinking until eleven. Or, at least they don't want any of their supervillain buddies to think they have nothing better to do than hang out at the world's most secretive Super Villain Bar.

Except for the occupants of one table, a very fancy man whose name is apparently Dan, a guy with an outlandish cowboy hat whose name is apparently Montana, and a very large man whose name is apparently Ox. They seem to be in the middle of a heated argument, which the bartender is trying hard to ignore.

But the room suddenly gets quiet when a giant Space Dog and a group of heroes suddenly materializes in the middle of the grimy villain bar.

Fancy Dan drops his glass. A martini, for the record.

Montana quickly polishes off his drink. A Malibu Rum and Coke, for the Record.

Ox stares blankly. He has no drink, but he's got his hand buried in a bag of Doritos.

"Oh god... I think I'm about to vomit sober..." Tony holds his helmet tight in his arm, as he looks around the room, both confused and queasy.

"Hold up... is that the Enforcers?"

It is the Enforcers, and they look absolutely terrified.

"Whut in TARNATION! DEKE! THIS DADGUM BAR IS S'POSEDTA BE A SECRET!" Montana's mustache bristles at the very sight of them.

Lockjaw barks loudly a couple of times, and then falls silent. His ears are perked up, with his head cocked to the side, as if he's listening for something very specific.

Pixie has posed:
Once the dizziness stops a bit - although being an experienced porter, she's pretty used to it, but this isn't your typical magical port - Megan rubs her eyes and blinks as she peers around. "Uh..Where are we? Who are those people? How'd we.." Oh right, the dog..She peers around, frowning, "Heey doggo, where'd you go?"

Finally Megan glances at Tony, "Uh, Mister Stark, where are we? You said you knew that doggo, right?"

Nightingale has posed:
     "Hey, you're not the one that's going to get a month's worth of detentions for this!" Shannon retorts to Bucky, groaning lightly. "The heck... where are we, anyways?"

     Uh-oh. That did /not/ look like a very savory cast of characters. And worse, they looked /pissed/. A few more of the finer points of varied languages might be heard from her general direction, the winged youth finding every excuse possible to hang back at the back of the group. Goal #1--don't become a target. Goal #2--think of a way to explain this latest little adventure when she got back home!

Phantasm (Drago) has posed:
"-onight." Nick's sentence completes on the other side of their little trip. He, doesn't seem AS affected as most. Weird visuals are kind of a thing for his travels. But it still was a bit blinding. But quiet soon follows as he lowers his arm, turning his head to look around to the new scenery, to the people inside the building, and then to see who else got pulled in. "...Oh good. It wasn't just me."

Thor has posed:
As they step through, Thor takes a few moments to look around before his grin widens even more.

"YES! TONY! The magical dog took us to a bar! WENCH! Fetch me an ale! The biggest you got!" The God of Thunder is clearly excited at the prospect of drinking with his companions, even if a couple of humans got dragged along.

"Who are these Enforcers? Are we to fight them for the beer? If so, I am verily glad for such an opportunity. Now this is how you spend a night! Bar fights, booze and beautiful wo-- " He pauses as he looks over towards the waitress. "Well .. perhaps adequate could be used to describe the women of this place. Either way, Tony, I am excited! We are on a proper adventure together!"

Reaching out, he snags a beer off a passing try, holding it upwards, then takes a long slug of it before his eyes fall upon the Enforcers.

"Now, which one of you wishes to get knocked out cold by the God of Thunder? How about you?" He points his hammer towards The Ox.

Winter Soldier has posed:
    Huh. From the street out into a bar. That's not unusual, but normally there's more intervening distance. And the flashing lights, Bucky vaguely remembers from the time he could still get drunk, are supposed to happen /after/ the visit, not before. More voices filter through, and with the speed of long practice, Bucky orients himself, gets his bearings and surveys the lay of the land.

    Terrain appears to be about to get rougher, proper pillocks spotted.

    Near the front of the group, Bucky Glares at the Enforces. Glares! The capital G is palpable. He's not quite as merry for the ale and wenches as his Asgardian companion, and yet he seems to be issuing the same challenge, left hand casually reaching for the edge of a table, as if about to lean on it.

    "Here's the deal. One of you is buying the round, we're all having a drink, and then we're all going our separate ways. Problems with that?"

Iron Man has posed:
"Don't ask me, Pixie. I've never been to a bar this lame in my entire life. I bet Hawkeye would be able to tell us though..."

It's hard to say whether Tony looks more nauseous from the teleporting, or from having to mingle with the poor in a place that serves beer in plastic cups.

"Pretty sure these guys are wanted for something though. So... who wants to beat them up and ask them why our giant teleporting dog decided to come here and interrupt their evening of... I'm sorry, what exactly IS it that you three are doing here?"

The Enforcers don't look pleased, but they start outright quivering at the prospect of getting beat up by Thor.

And the bartender hurriedly starts making a drink for the God of Thunder, though there doesn't appear to be a wench available to serve it.

The wench had the night off.

"We ain't done NOTHIN'!" Montana is quick to protest, though he seems a mite twitchy, and may reach for his lasso any moment.

Fancy Dan pipes up as well. "My associate is being truthful, ladies and gentlemen. We haven't committed any criminal acts this evening, as we're all currently out on good behavior and in no way inclined to violate the terms of our probation. But... we're more than happy to provide drinks for all of you... Deke! A round for our... uh... acquaintances."

Ox licks some Dorito dust off of his fingers. "Nuh uh! No way Boss! We can't be buying them drinks! This is a STING! Them two girls is UNDERAGE!"

Montana perks up suddenly, giving the girls a once-over.

"TARNATION! Ox is right! It's a DADGUM STING! I ain't goin' back to jail for no aidin' and abettin' the delinquency of no dadgum MINORS!"

The Enforcers begin scattering in all directions, flipping over the table to try and escape!

Fancy Dan manages to run through the door to the Manager's Office, where there's a somewhat skinny guy tied up to a chair with some sort of syringe still sticking out of his arm!

He's probably fine though, right?

Nightingale has posed:
     "Fine by me, I didn't want a drink anyways." Great. Just great. Shannon looks at Pixie, shaking her head. "Tell me again how we keep winding up in these messes?" Briefly, she glances around the bar. The state of some of the patrons was questionable at best, particularly the one with a syringe sticking out of their arm. "I wouldn't dust 'em, god only knows what they've got in their systems already."

Hulk has posed:
A few people in the room would actually recognize the skinny guy; one Doctor Bruce Banner. He's currently in civilian clothing, and the very top of his Hulk green uniform is clearly visible under the white shirt and just a bit out of the jeans.

Seems like someone got the drop on Bruce and managed to sedate him.

Why? That's anyones guess. Can't be anything good if he's /here/.

Phantasm (Drago) has posed:
"Let's bump it up to lovely." Nick replies to Thor's downgrading of the type of women who may work here. Considering the general looks being given by the patrons and Thor's fighting words, he's not sure he wants angry servers with trays added in to the mix.

At James's additions to it. Albeit, kind of more peaceful, Nick opts to just not add to the discussion, instead watching the chaos that ensues. When the door opens showing a guy tied to the chair. Nick's eyes widen. "Shi-" He bolts over, to the man in the chair, keeping an eye out for Fancy Dan who ran in there previously.

As the musician moves that way, the scar on the lower right forearm fades away, reappearing upon the left as the visual of him mirrors itself. Being his attire is comprised much of solid colors there is not much indication from behind of the change.

Thor has posed:
"If thou feels the woman is lovely, I am not one to judge your taste. By all means, mortal, I will happily get her number for you if you wish to bed her."

Thor merrily finishes the beer, then lobs the glass to the side with a shatter. After he licks his lips clean, he levels his eyes at the men, then glances over at Tony "Are you sure you do not wish to have a fight? They are fleeing as if they did something ... wait.."

His voice trails off at the sight of Bruce tied to a chair with a syringe sticking out of his arm. All the joy and playfulness fades away quickly, and the sound of a storm outside can be heard rumbling away. There is something electric in his eyes as he reaches for his hammer, pulling it free.

"THOU DARE HARM OUR BROTHER!? You! underage girls! Get behind the bar and hunker down. Thou virgin eyes do not wish to witness what I am about to bestow upon these criminals. Bucky, don't hold back either."

There's a spin of the hammer, followed by a current of electricity in the air as he throws his arm forward, sending out a charge of rippling, blue current straight towards The Ox. He's the big guy. He gets the full brunt of a God's fury.

"Tony! Tend to our wounded! We will avenge him!"

That is what the team does after all.

Pixie has posed:
Megan Gwynn flinches at Thor's words. "Umm mister Thor? Maybe we shouldn't encourage a bar fight..But it's still strange how we wound up here.." she smirks at Bucky and giggles, "Ooooh, welll, we're pobably....Uh, sure, sure! I'll go for a round!" yeaaah, she's totally of legal age..Sure she is!

Still, she's not sure about these folks. Can they be trusted? "Umm, so like..Have any of you kind folks actually seen like, a giant dog..?"

Winter Soldier has posed:
    The table vault, a classic move of any and all bar fights. From Brooklyn, to Londn, to Berlin and back again, Bucky had been in his fair share of bar brawls, remembering somewhat fondly the fracas of his youth and with professional satisfaction the professional melées of the more recent decades. Especially that bar in Volgograd. He could still walk in there and get a free drink whenever he damned well pleased. In a moment, he has a reply ready, lifting the table he'd been leaning on with casual ease...

    And halts. "Well... we did crash their bar, so... and Thor, please, you do not discuss a lady as if she's not present to hear you, that's just bad mann..." The door opens, he catches a glimpse of the tied figure. "...ers..."

    Vibranium reinforced fingers dig into the wood of the table he's still holding off the ground as if it weighs nothing, eyes narrowing at Montana, who's presenting the best target now that Ox is being deep fried and Dan is sure to meet his doom at the hands of his companions.

    It's like the tension before a duel. Narrowed eyes meet narrowed eyes. A battle of wills, a battle of two men, on the brink of violence, waiting only for the slightest twitch of their opponent to unleash wrath.

    YEET!

    The table goes sailing. Table vault means table flip (that other great classic of bar brawls), thrown underhand like an oversized baseball and flying in much the same flat trajectory.

Iron Man has posed:
"I'm not sure this is strictly necessary... aww... screw it, he's too far gone."

Tony quickly discards the idea of disuading Thor from engaging in battle. After all, the only thing he's likely to destroy right now is a secret supervillain bar, and we could probably do with one less of those anyway.

Plus, it gives Tony a chance to do some thinking and tend to...

The wounded?

"What the hell? How'd Bruce get here? I didn't know he even DRANK!"

The heavy CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP! of Iron Man's Rocket Boots makes the already-shaking bar shake even more, as he runs across the room and through the door, to where Bruce is currently bound up. Without really even thinking he yanks the syringe out of Bruce's arm.

"Bruce!"

Gentle tap on the face with Iron Gauntlet.

"Bruce! Come on, buddy."

Slightly less gentle tap on the face with Iron Gauntlet.

Lockjaw looks around the bar, barking more aggressively now that there's apparently a battle. His tuning fork crackles again, and he teleports away from the violence, reappearing in the kitchen.

People begin screaming in the kitchen and running out into the bar's main area.

In the kitchen, Lockjaw begins tearing into the raw meat that was juuuust about to be set in the deep fryer before his unceremonious teleport.

"BRUCE! Wake up!" An outright slap to the face with an Iron Gauntlet.

Nightingale has posed:
     "Ummmmmm... I'm not sure that's who you're going to wake up at this rate!" Shannon had looked just about to dart out from her post at the rear of the group, hearing the call to tend the wounded. It didn't matter where or when they were, it was a call she couldn't ignore. But when she saw who it was, she groans softly.

     "I'm gonna regret this...."

     Darting through the bar to where Tony was doing his best to wake up Bruce, she shakes her head, one hand darting out to attempt to catch his next slap and stop him. "Sir... maybe it'd be a good idea if we got him out of here? Please?"

Hulk has posed:
The first hit doesn't get any traction. The second hit gets a bit of a mutter. The third hit? That actually audibly breaks Bruce's jaw, and sends him to the floor, right next to the discarded tranq dart.

Then, the sound of ripping clothing can be heard as Bruce triggers a subconscious transformation from the sheer pain involved triggering the human survival instinct. His skin turns green... and he grows... and grows.

Halfway into the transformation, the chemicals in Bruce's blood immediately get burned through by the reaction, and the gamma powered rage monster breaks the chair he /was/ tied to.

Within moments, the Hulk is growling... standing up... then, as he sees Tony, he realizes what happened, and Iron Man gets ten foot of enraged Hulk roaring right in his face.

"HULK SMASH!" Hulk suddenly leaps right at Tony, both hands coming up as he tries to land a massive sledgehammer blow to send Tony like a pancake onto the floor.

Phantasm (Drago) has posed:
There's probably some retort the Phantasm could retort back to Thor or perhaps some protest to the suggestion but being some guy was apparently tied up before getting jabbed with some unknown substance.

There is apparently no need to worry about the whereabouts of Fancy Dan at the moment and so he moved over to the chair. Nick swings a hand down, fingers extend to claws as the tips of the nails slice through the ropes once.

It was a good idea. Really it was. But well. Tony had the koonami code for activating a hulk. Up up down down left right left right bash aggro-

Nick's eyes widen as he sees Shannon being WAY too close for comfort. Eyes closing, he bolts through the Hulk Tony debacle and latches on to Shannon, letting his powers extend into her. "Close your eyes and move to the right!"

Hmm. Sounds familiar.

Thor has posed:
"Good throw, brother!" Thor crows over to Bucky as he lobs the table like a frisbee towards one of the bad guys to deliver a blow. Poor Ox. He's just laying on the floor with smoke coming off him and tiny shoots of electricity coursing through his body. His hair is stuck out on end and he isn't going to be tying any one up for awhile.

When Bruce's alter ego makes his appearance, his eyes widen and he starts charging across the room to help Tony. "Hulk, no! Do not smash puny Tony! He is paying for our drinks!"

Winter Soldier has posed:
    "Was, wasn't it?" Bucky agrees, watching Montana disappear under the weight and bulk of a table. Down for the count, in his professional opinion, and that just leaves the issue of...

    Is that the sound of Hulk smashing?

    Yeah, that's the sound of a Hulk Smash.

    "Right behind you, Thor." Bucky rolls his shoulder, the left one, loosening up the servos considering he's likely to be putting a lot of stress on them soon. In his day he has thrown cars, thrown the Juggernaut, but throwing a Hulk? Why, seems like today he might find out if that's even possible. But the Gamma Ray Rage Machine (also known as The Hulk) is a lot of angry mass and muscle to tackle, so Bucky will be focusing on trying to conquer the Hulk's left arm, while his friends try to restrain the rest of him.

    "Now would really be an excellent time to start taking cover behind that bar."

Iron Man has posed:
Holding up his arms just in time to protect his head, Iron Man crumples to the floor as the floor simultaneously shatters underneath him.

Scratch one Vintage Iron Man Suit, looks like.

"Aack! Dammit Hulk! QUIDDIT! At least lemme get my helmet on firrrrst!"

It's all Iron Man can do to try to dodge any secondary blows, as his normal armors are only rated for like... maybe five Hulk punches at most, and this is an Old Suit.

With his arms raised in the universal 'Not the Face' position, Tony looks as if he's worried that maybe this time he might have made that First Mistake he's always hoped he'd never get around to. But apparently not even he can make perfect decisions all the time.

There are some godawful crunching noises as the armor crumples, fails, and is in Imminent Danger of compressing in on Tony's all too squishy body.

Squishy in a firm, masculine way. With just the right amount of chest hair. Not squishy the other way.

Maybe his teammates can save him? The odds aren't bad, right?

But just before Tony meets his maker (Stan Lee), everything suddenly goes black.

It goes black for him, that is.

Pitch black, warm, and... moist?

When he finally figures out what's going on, Tony is outside the Bar with No Name, laying flat on his back on the pavement, with his head completely buried inside Lockjaw's mouth.

The dog lets him go, and Tony tries in vain to get up, his armor's circuits shorting out something terrible.

"GAAACK! Gross! Why didn't you just let me DIE!? What're these wet chunks on my head, CHICKEN!?"

Nightingale has posed:
     Crap. One of these days, Shannon would learn to think with her head and not her heart! She ducks and throws herself to the right, her eyes tightly closed. The world goes dark, and the odd smells filling the bar suddenly seem to fade away. So does the rest of the bar. She couldn't actually -feel- anything. Now that was just creepy. It was as if she was in the middle of a dream, but she was wide awake. Wasn't she?

     The second she is out of range of a raging Hulk, she ducks behind the bar, not quite so inclined to budge from there--unless it's out the door. Yeah, no. There was not going to be any reaching Dr. Banner in this state!

Thor has posed:
As he arrives, Thor throws out his hand and catches Hulk by the wrist before that last punch can land upon Tony's head. "HULK! STOP SMASH!" He howls out at his green friend, then looks confused as Tony ports out by via Lockjaw chomping on his head. "Well now, this night continues to get more interesting."

As he looks up at his great green friend, he hopes to at least secure him long enough for the mortals to get to safety. With Bucky latched to one arm, he looks to hold the Hulk back as long as he can.

"Bruce, my friend, my brother in arms! Take a deep breath. You are safe now and we are going to head home. Can you calm down so that we can talk like men?"

"We have to find Tony as well, for the magical dog just devoured him!"

Hulk has posed:
A Hulk Smash that lands seems to have the Hulk immensely pleased, even as everyone else starts to move in on the Hulk to subdue him. Then, a Bucky is on his arm, and the Hulk just ignores the puny human trying to grab onto him.

Instead, when Thor stops his second attempt at a smash and Tony disappears from in front of him, Hulk roars in rage and looks to Thor.

Thor can easily tell that the Hulk isn't listening to him though, his teeth are gritted and he's purely psychotic right now.

Then, the Hulk uses his other arm to essentially fly swat the puny human off his arm, right into the nearest wall; it's not a lethal hit, but that's gonna smart a bit.

Then, with a roar, the Hulk begins charging right into the nearest doorway... and /through it/.

"HULK FIND TIN MAN!"

It might be what Thor wants... but given the rage of his tone and the way he's psychotically smashing through everything in his path... it's a safe bet that the Hulk is /NOT/ interested in helping Iron Man right now.

Winter Soldier has posed:
    There are points in life where even the most well thought out plan is revealed to be utter lunacy. Grabbing the Hulk's arm wasn't even a well thought out plan, but a stark (hah) necessity at the time. Bucky has exactly two seconds to regret his decision before a Hulk Swat sends him flying. Horizontally. Into a wall.

    Through a wall.

    Masonry crumbles and bricks fall, dust billows, there is the sound of things hitting a tiled floor, something akin to a very slow accident in a ceramics factory, and the sudden sound of gushing water.

    "It had to be the bathroom..." James Buchanan Barnes mutters darkly to himself as he gets up, trying in vain to get the brick dust, grime and a few generations of enterprising mold off his jacket and clothes. The left sleeve has torn, showing a flash of metal where his arm is supposed to be.

    But he steps back through the gap as unperturbed as a T-800 Cyberdyne Systems Model 101, minus the glowing red eyes, though he does eye the gap made by a raging Hulk on his way to freedom.

    "... That's going to be a problem..."

Phantasm (Drago) has posed:
Upon Shannon relocating to a safe area, the phantasm lets go, granting back the senses she lost trying out his abilities, standing up to look up in time to see what happened to James. "Ff-" Skirmishing to his feet, construct runs over to the newly made hole, watching as Barnes gets up, "You alright James?"

Iron Man has posed:
"Everything... hurts..."

As he tries in vain to crawl forward, Tony can't help but wonder if perhaps he should have seen this coming. 'Never Slap a Hulk!' is on page one of the Avengers New Recruit Manual, after all.

Tony never read it, he's pretty sure Cap wrote one though.

Helped along by his faithful new companion, and Alleged Best Friend, Tony re-enters the bar with one arm draped over Lockjaw's shoulder, and basically getting dragged as much as he's walking.

"So I think Lockjaw's still trying to tell us something, guys. He wants us to follow him. And I, for one..."

It looks as if Iron Man is about to begin a very Inspirational Speech, one which will really rally the remaining troops and make them all want to buy stock in his company.

But instead, Lockjaw's tuning fork begins to glow and crackle.

"Wait Lockjaw! Not yet! I need to grab a socket set and some bourboooooooooon!"

The crackling commences, and in a flash of light, everyone is ported away, leaving the Bar with No Name completely abandoned.

They'll build a new one.