12329/Eleutherophobia

Eleutherophobia
Date of Scene:	11 October 2020
Location:	X-Men Safehouse, Adirondacks Mountains, NY
Synopsis:	Jean is finally forced to confront the Phoenix, but she doesn't do it alone.
Thanks to:	My eternal thanks to Storm for spoofing a perfect bird! - Jean
Cast of Characters:	Phoenix, Storm, Cyclops, Wolverine

---

Phoenix has posed:
It's only been a hour since Scott and Logan arrived at the cabin, called there by the Professor to warn them things were going south.

The man was in the nearby town a few miles out, sent there by Jean to be out of the way. It had only been a tantrum earlier. A tantrum that scorched the cabin and sucked every ounce of moisture out of the plant life in the cabin's surroundings. In a sea of autumn forest, here the earth was blighted - withered trees, brown grass, cracked earth.

Jean didn't want him there for the next disagreement. She didn't want any of them there, but the X-Men were as closely bound to one another as their own powers to their DNA. It's why they'd survived that long and, in some cases, didn't stay gone even when they didn't survive. She's have more success chewing off her own arm than telling them to leave, and a selfish part of her was glad for the company.

Jean was resting in the back of the boys' parked car. It wasn't an ideal place to sleep, but it was quiet, sheltered, and not a soot-streaked husk. Her sleep, however, is not restful. Seconds before all hell breaks loose, the surrounding forest goes deathly silent. It's as if every animal in the vicinity left or took to ground. Inside the car, Jean's hazy nightmares are broken by a searing lance of pain through her mind as another mental chain is snapped, fracturing under the pressure of the force it contains.

She's awake in an instant with a short cry that's both pained and startled. Except this time, unlike the others, the pain doesn't ebb. It gets worse, the pressure increasing with each heartbeat. Jean scrambles for the handle of the door and part crawls and part falls out of the back of the car. She's desperate for air, desperate for space, desperate for time that's run out. There in the dirt she curls up with her nails digging into her scalp as her powers flare to life in a corona of violent pink light. Anyone in the vicinity would feel the psychic impression of her pain, like white hot knives - or talons - scoring across the brain.

Storm has posed:
    There's a sudden stillness that is entirely unnatural to the area. Birds stop singing, bugs stop buzzing and a bone chilling silence falls across the stretch of the Adirondacks. Like the very world is drawing in a frightened breath and holding it.

    Jean sleeps and something stirs. Rage, pure and unchecked at the psychic chains that try to hold it in place. Try to tie it down in a mindscape that it had chose. A sudden burst of psychic heat melting them away and causing the pressure in Jean's head. A bird-like scream echoes so loudly that blood seeps slowly from her ears and it can almost be heard from the woman's lips. Chains cast off as it suddenly surges forward and swells. The corona around Jean causing the very air to ripple as it tries to tear it's way to freedom.

    Unfortunately for Jean, it is her mind that it is trying to tear through.

    Ororo's eyes blaze white as she holds onto her powers. The skies rumbling with black promise of a torrential downpour. Stumbling back as she felt the shock of the thing's awakening and her hand reaching upwards as a biblical rain begins to fall in sheets. It seems to matter little as the Weather Witch can feel the rain being flash fried to steam due to the heat surrounding her friend. "Gods be with us." Said softly as she turns blazing eyes to Scott and Logan.

Cyclops has posed:
Having been working on the shower that was no longer functioning, Scott is currently shirtless with a pair of jeans on. His shirt is stuck in the back of his pants and he has a baseball cap on backwards upon his head with tufts of brown hair peeking out. He gives another few twists of his wrench along the plumbing, then gives the handle a turn.

A satisfied look falls upon his face as the water rushes out. "Well .. it's cold, but it's something." He calls over his shoulder to Logan before he wipes his brow off with the back of his arm. Gathering up the tool set, he starts to put the items away before he glances upwards as he feels the hum in the air. Frowning, he pushes himself to his feet and starts through the cabin.

"Jean?" He calls out as he pushes through the door. "Jean, what's going on?" His eyes fall upon her with worry, even as he can hear the rumble of a storm in the distance.

Phoenix has posed:
Jean can see it in her mind and the same impression flashes like broken projector in the minds of the other X-Men. The Cerebro-like room, the suspended cage within. Once gold, now blackened and blistered and bowed out with the power within. Bars are splintered, with the last few threatening to break.

"No no please!" Jean shouts because she can barely hear her own words. In a growing sea of cool mud, she is stranded on an island of parched earth. Through sobs of pain and a yawning pit anguish, she continues, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I can't... I can't do this... I can't. Just leave! GO!" It's hard to tell just who the words are directed at. Her family? The being in her mind? If it is a warning, it's the best that she can offer.

All she can do is reach out with a shaking hand, or so the trio standing in wait would see. But in her mind, she's reaching in towards a charred lock on a warped cage. It turns to ash and crumbles under her fingertips. The outside world vanishes to Jean. She's trapped in her own head, but she is not alone.

Storm has posed:
    Pain and anger both primal and immense beyond imagining wash over Jean and sweep her into the mindscape that she and the Professor tried to form in order to trap the entity. It is purely elemental with no 'mind' in the traditional sense. It is cosmic and Jean is given flashes of planets far beyond the horizon of their known universe. Like having a star going supernova in one's mind.

    Suddenly the cage erupts and completely shatters. Jean mind's eye is all that is seen. Darkness absolute, stretching like a yawning void until the elemental being turns it's attention to her. Wings unfurling as it cries it's outrage, but the pain stops. No longer trying to claw it's way out of her mind. Phoenix gives Jean the impression of betrayal and heartbreak. It had chosen her and she had tried to confine it.

    Looking at the woman before the mental scape changes and worlds seem to rush by until Jean sees herself. Fallen, dead and the Phoenix's sacrifice of power to return her to life. Chosen. Rescued. Worthy. The cosmic entity simply stares at Jean as if demanding something unspoken. She can feel stirring in her mind before a voice washes over her. Deep as the ocean and powerful as a volcanic eruption. "Why?"

Phoenix has posed:
She may be among the most powerful psychics on Earth, but she's still human and mortal minds weren't made to expand to quite the degree of comprehension required to truly grasp the expanse of the Phoenix's nature. The agony in her head isn't just from the attack, but the very barriers of understanding and trying to even translate the impressions of an entity that encompassing and alien.

But she sees that. Her death. The memories she had lost and the blank space of what came right after. ...so that's what happened.

The ceasing of struggles at least gives Jean room to suck in several frantic breaths as she reels from the first horrible realizations that threaten to send her into a panic attack. "W-why? Why? I don't... how could I know? I was *dead*! I'm supposed to be DEAD! Then I wasn't, and... and you were in my head. What *are* you? Why me? What do you want from me?!" She shouts up to the blindingly brilliant bird, her own fury and fear amplifying her voice.

Storm has posed:
    There's an echoing snap, the bird closing it's beak in ominous warning at the sudden explosion of anger. It seemed to stare at her for a few moments as the bird shifted through the language in Jean's mind. Deciphering what was said and how to respond in a way it wished to. It was an invasive thing, no grace or finesse to the intrusion.

    Jean would see memories of her protecting the lives of her friends and of strangers. Of seeking out to protect those unable to protect themselves. She saw her friends alongside her and the passion felt for two. Intimate moments that were likely not intended for a cosmic god to be watching.

    Suddenly, the mindscape changed again. To a familiar bedroom and a familiar red headed little girl reading a children's book of fairytales outloud. Explaining how from the ashes of it's old self came an egg and from it the firebird in the story lived once more. "Phoenix."

Phoenix has posed:
You were supposed to see your life flashing before your eyes before you died, but Jean gets to experience it after the fact. Unless she's dying again? Her mind and soul certainly feels torn into enough ribbons to warrant it.

Still, Jean seems to struggle to grasp the meanings. There's flickers of understanding, but like sparks in a wind some are banished just as soon as they flare to life. "I see me." She says tentatively as she tries to piece together memories, thoughts, and the embers of insight. In her memories, she looks down to herself as a girl and there's a momentary flick of her eyes towards the window and the street outside, the sounds of an oncoming car. Even after so long, Jean lurches back from the memory and tries to refocus on the fiery entity.

"You... you came to me because I died? Because I died for them? I still don't understand. What are you? Why can't I see where I end and you begin?"

Storm has posed:
    There was a trilling sound and a deep sense of amusement that seem to cast off the last of the sensation of anger. "What am I?" The bird spread it's wings and changed the mindscape from Jean's childhood room. She saw the entity with wings spread soaring through the black of space. No stars visible no matter which way she turned. The Phoenix turned it's head toward Jean before flaring out bright as any star and Jean would see stars and planets suddenly forming and scattering in all directions. "Life...Death...Energy. All that is and will be." The grasp on language slowly getting more refined.

    Until they stood outside the cabin and at Jean laying in the mud, her friends unable to get close enough for the pulsing corona that surrounded her. "Egg." It turned and looked to her once more. "No ending, no beginning. Bonded."

Phoenix has posed:
The Big Bang. Jean can't help it, the thought comes instantaneously into her mind as she sees the image of the universe being formed and banishes it almost as quickly with a surge of embarrassment. It seems juvenile to compare something this powerful to a term like that. She looks to herself still laying there in the dirt and then up to the Phoenix. There's understanding dawning, but Jean can't explain it. No language has words to explain existence itself.

"So... it's not really me that came back." She says with a hollowness to her voice, saying words that have been weighing on her mind since she woke up in a crater on the lawn. "Not really. Not who I was. I'm you. You're me." Her eyes take in the vision of her dearest and closest friends, seeing behind their panic and uncertainty to the emotions behind it. She sees the same ties of light that she sees between herself and the Phoenix beside her, the same binds. "And you know I'd do it all again too for them. I always will."

Green eyes turn away from the scene of this new rebirth and look up to the vast being. "So what now? I can't let you hurt them, even if you don't mean to. Your power... *our power*," She corrects herself, "It's too much. It's too dangerous. How can we coexist when I feel like I have to hold you back to protect them?"

Storm has posed:
    There is another trill when Jean thinks of the Big Bang after she felt a riffling through her memories to explain what it was. Head tilting when Jean questioned if she was still herself and white hot eyes seem to look at the scene and her before it took a step forward. Yet, she answered herself before the being could and it's head dipped. She was still Jean Grey, just more.

    "Yes, you are worthy." It had found others before her that were worthy. Jean heard voices echoing of others that the Phoenix had bonded with. Echoes too far off to understand. Though, Jean's telepathy felt a connection of every voice. Their way and safety had been threatened on a scale too great for them and it was their unfettered need to protect life that had drawn the Firebird.

    Head snapping when Jean said she had to hold the being back. "Are they harmed?" The bird looked to the trio that stood by, helpless against the force surrounding Jean. Even looking East where the Professor was reaching out. His mental voice muffled as if the Phoenix were keeping him away. Jean had the sense of the pure destruction the Phoenix could have unleashed sliding just beneath the surface, yet it had not done so.

Phoenix has posed:
"No, but, when I've pushed myself people would have gotten hurt if I didn't stop myself." Jean responds. She glances towards the distant voice of her mentor, but she tries not to linger on him. She's still protecting him.

But that power is there, she feels it, and she addresses it. "I couldn't stop you if you wanted. I don't even know if I would want to, and that's what scares me. But I also know I shouldn't have tried to keep you a prisoner, it wasn't right. I didn't understand you and I tried to drive you away, the same as people do to mutants, and I'm sorry. I... will try and work with you, but I need to know what you expect of me."

Storm has posed:
    Jean can feel that riffling again. Now calmed, Jean could sense something of understanding. Many others it had bonded to had been afraid, at first. There was nothing it could do for that as mortal beings were always afraid, what was important to it was the why. The entity turned it's massive awareness directly at Jean. "No, you could not." It spoke with that rushing voice.

    When Jean asked what it expected of her? That awareness seemed to laser in on her. "Live, protect. Take of me when you have need and I will be there. I am energy." Jean could sense that it meant psionic energy, "As are you, the most powerful I have ever sensed. You are my perfect host. You called for aid and I obliged."

Phoenix has posed:
"I called you?" Jean says slowly as she looks back into her memories of that day. Not in words, she didn't. She didn't call out to anything as she floated in zero gravity in a halo of fiery hair and tears lit by rose light. She only fell into bitter realization. She was going to die, but no part of her wanted to. She didn't want to leave them. They needed her. She was their heart - several of the X-Men told her that over the years. How can something exist without a heartbeat? It dies, and if they died so did the Dream.

Jean Grey did not want to die. She rejected it. She dug into herself and the molten core of her incredible telepathic and empathic power, turned to the universe, and told it NO.

"That was it. You heard me. You heard what I felt." Jean looks back to the Phoenix and reaches out to place one hand upon Phoenix. "I understand. I'll protect them. I'll protect them all."

Storm has posed:
    It watched the memory alongside her. Feeling the same pull to her now as it had then. Turning it's head as a hand was placed on this mental manifestation of itself and nodded it's head.

    Suddenly, Jean was aware once more. The pain in her head gone, left only with a cool, soothing sensation and an echo of her own words, taken as a promise. The corona around her suddenly burst into expanded wings and a cry that echoed the mountains before everything seemed to speed back up to normal. The world breathed a sigh and the firebird dissipated in the rain.

    It was done and the pact formed.

Phoenix has posed:
The coolness in her head wasn't the first thing Jean noticed. It was the coolness of the rain. With her powers faded out, the storm was free to pour down on her and finally soak the seared earth. It would be uncomfortable to most, but Jean knows the source of the rain and to her its as reassuring and familiar as an old warm blanket.

Slowly she begins to stir and open her eyes. For a fleeting moment they are as white as starlight, but as the rain washes away the dirt and soot on her so too does the light fade to bright but very normal green. With a groan she begins to pull cramped limbs under her and starts to try and push herself up. Her eyes seek out those who've been waiting all of this time, and while her throat is hesitant to speak after the screaming, she offers them a weary but reassuring smile.

<< I think it's going to be okay now. >>

Storm has posed:
    While Jean was lost in her mindscape with the Phoenix, the world outside was drenched with the rainfall that Ro summoned. Jean collapsed into the mud in a corona of pink and blue that refused anyone to approach. Storm was quick and held her hands out and kept herself, Scott and Logan in a normalized atmospheric bubble. It protected them even as the corona scorched the earth Jean was laying on and reverted the rain to steam instantly.

    Storm was forced to watch her friend's body twitch and thrash in the mud before falling still and she suddenly feared the worst. It felt like an eternity until the corona faded with a burst of the Firebird overhead with a scream that was deafening. She felt the normalizing of the air around Jean and charged forward to kneel in the mud and put her arms around the woman. "Jean..." Simply pulling the other woman into her arms regardless of the two men's presence or protest.

Cyclops has posed:
With fear stretched along his face, Scott could only watch as the love of his life writhed and wrestled with whatever laid claim deep within her. He was not sure if this was the moment their lives would end, and if it was, he was determined to hold her in his arms before it happens. That is, if he would be allowed the chance before he was vaporized into ash.

Once the lightshow ends, he moves forward quickly, taking in a fresh breath of air as he sinks down next to the pair of women. "Jean, are you still with us? Are you okay?" His lips pull tightly togther into a thin frown of concern, reaching out to place a hand against her back.

He gives a cautious glance over to Logan as well. If things go South, he may be the only one who can end all of this. He is praying that this isn't that moment though.

Wolverine has posed:
Once the others move towards Jean, Logan lunges that way as well but keeps back behind the others. He's still within reach if need be, but he's keeping his distance. Not one to be very open with his emotions, now is a time when he's struggling to keep it together. His face is twisted into a scowl and his eyes are unusually damp. His lips pursed tightly together, he simply watches Jean in silence.

His hands are balled into tight fists and he knows deep down that if things go downhill even more than they already have, he'll have to make a decision. One that he refuses to confront but already knows he'll do in the back of his mind. Against every fiber in his body, he'll do it. With every fiber in his body he's hoping it won't come to that.

He finally falls to his knees and sits on his bent legs, his arms hanging by his sides as he does all he can do. Sit and watch.

Phoenix has posed:
Hugs. Jean's never felt something that wonderful, because it isn't just a hug. She's reassured that she is still here, she's still alive, and so are they. One arm goes around Ororo and the other Scott, and even with Logan standing back he'd feel a similar impression as he's psychically roped into the group hug. Jean holds all of them like she wasn't going to let go. They're what anchors her here.

"It's okay. I'm okay." She says hoarsely and her tone is even worse because she may be ugly crying right then but she just can't care. We--... we're good. I know what it is now. I know what happened. I-- I'll explain later, but I know why it's with me."

Not past tense. The image they saw wasn't the being leaving, only it returning inward. It's still there.

Storm has posed:
    Storm hugged tighter and then moved back to let the boys have their turn. Her head falling back as the rain splattered across her features before she opened her eyes and blinked twice and allowed the clouds to dissipate slowly. She'd drawn moisture that wasn't supposed to be here and she took a moment to ensure it returned before her eyed turned blue once more.

    Looking at the ruined vehicle, the inside melted and husked like an old ruin before she looked back to Jean and nodded once. "Speak when you need to, we are here for you." Her words soft and understanding. Reaching out and putting a hand on Logan's shoulder, squeezing gently before she nudged him gently forward.

    She knew Logan's heart and where it lay, she also knew that the man was about as good at showing emotion as a badger. They had that in common, sometimes. "It is good we came in two vehicles." Said with a wry amusement in her voice.

Cyclops has posed:
Glancing over towards the torched car, then back towards the others, Scott lets out a low sigh. "It was a rental." He says in an assuring voice before he reaches out to draw Jean into his arms. He pushes his face in against her neck, breathing in the smoky scent of her as his fingers draw along her back for a moment.

"You sure everything is going to be okay? Does this mean you are .. stuck with .. whatever it is that is inside of you? There is no way of removing it safely?" That concerns him greatly.

He shuffles out of the way for Logan to have his turn, glancing ovr to Storm for a moment.

Wolverine has posed:
The sensation he received from Jean is a comfort to the feral man sitting behind his teammates. Logan's face softens as he watches the three of them embrace, giving him the opportunity and ability to pull himself together and set his worry aside. At least for now. For now he'll bury it.

When Ororo's hand rests on his shoulder, he turns his gaze towards her and offers the woman a silent stare. His lips curve into a slight, sympathetic smile and he nods at her and moves closer to Jean, reaching out to rest his hand on her arm.

"Jean," is all he says, giving her a gentle squeeze as he looks her over, looking to make sure that she's really still there and okay. He doesn't fully understand what happened to her or the scope of the being inside her. All he knows is he's glad she's still with them and they're all still alive and kicking. He doesn't pay the scorched rental car a spare thought.

Storm has posed:
    Ro tilted her head back and laughed when Scott said it was a rental. Falling back into the mud without a care for the state of her jeans as the rain slowly died off. Her laughter was a wet and tenuous thing, mixed with tears as she had been terrified that her friend was about to die and even the stoic Weather Witch was not immune to emotions.

    Reaching up and wiping tears and rain from her face as she sat in the mud. The clouds darkening in reply to her emotional instability as she took a few deep and calming breaths. "It is a good thing we bought the insurance." Shaky laughter as she tried to reign in her state of mind.

Phoenix has posed:
As Scott and Ororo step back, Jean turns her eyes up to Logan as he takes their place. Her look is sympathetic and understanding, as if knowing what was weighing on his soul. But she says nothing about it, she just says, "Help hoist me up, will ya?" Because emotions may not be his strong suit, but he is good at yanking up someone by the scruff when they need.

Once she's back on her feet, Jean drags wet and muddy hair out of her face. "It's okay for now, Scott. It's a start. There's a lot to figure out, but, she's here to stay. She's me, and I'm her. I couldn't remove her without ripping apart myself, body and soul." She knows it's not the answer he wants and the tone of her voice says as much.

Her eyes turn upwards to the clouds and then over to Ororo with a widening smile. "Well, it's not the most expensive thing that we've destroyed." Though it does remind her of the cabin which she looks to with a grimace.

Cyclops has posed:
"I see." Scott says with a thousand thoughts spiraling through his mind right now. "I got the shower working at least." He says with a firm nod of his head, as if trying to reveal 'some' good news out of the entire situation. "It's not great, and the water is cold, but it works."

He gives her another hug once she stands, letting out a sigh in his throat. He is the tactical leader, but how do you plan for something like this? You don't. "Let's get you cleaned up and your clothes changed. Then we can tell the Professor it's safe to come back out here."

Wolverine has posed:
As Logan shares a long and silently emotional gaze with Jean, he damn near loses it. There's a slight tremor in his chin and the moisture returns to his eyes. When she asks for his help, he simply nods and rises to his feet and helps her get to her feet. He sticks close to her, offering his support as she looks to the sky.

All the talk about the destroyed vehicle and the cabin reminds him that others actually give a damn about consequences. He's used to leaving things worse than he found them. Go figure.

"We should get you cleaned up," he rumbles quietly, looking for something to focus on aside from the feelings brewing inside his head and chest. He clears his throat after he gets the word out as if it will fix the way this experience has made him feel. Knowing that it's not worked, he falls silent once again.

Storm has posed:
    Ro hauls herself to her feet and takes a few more slow breaths before the skies settle and she nods once to Jean. Taking back her control now that the fear and bone breaking relief has passed and listened to the words from her friend. She knows the fear and the horror that having powers on such a level comes with. Knows that the first reaction is to seclude so you are not a threat, but she also knows that it does no good.

    Chuckling softly at Jean's admission to not being the most expensive thing destroyed. "It is a good thing that simple things can be replaced." The smile she gives Jean is a reflection of love and respect for her dearest friend. "Besides, Scott was complaining about it's handling the whole way here." Teasing Scott with light laughter.

    Jean was fine, they were fine and for the moment, everything was fine. She would offer some light to help cast off the shadows haunting everyone's expressions. Knowing that Jean would want to be treated normally and not like she was made of glass. "We will go home." Said with a finality that would not be argued with. Looking at the three people who mean the most to her in the world and smiles softly.

Phoenix has posed:
"He can meet us at the mansion." Jean says, echoing Ro's statement. "He doesn't need to drag himself all the way back up here to look at some house-shaped cinders. We'll just... blame all of this on a propane explosion or something for insurance. Yeah." Old habits die hard, especially when it comes to damage control. "There's nothing we need up here now, but uh, thanks for trying to fix the shower? I guess I could probably wash the mud off and not ruin the other car." She gives Scott a sheepish smile.

"I'm just glad the important things are still standing right here. I saw you all, wherever I went, and I saw that day again. I remembered why I came back. I couldn't leave you, any of you. I shouldn't have thought that I could do all of this alone."

Storm has posed:
    "We will no sooner leave you than you would leave us. We will always be at your side. We can blame a lightning strike, they have long stopped questioning those." Said with a smile that would be considered impish on anyone else, on Ro? It looked like egotistical satisfaction. She had gone toe to toe with them before.

    "Worry not about the Professor, I shall see to him." With that, she walked over to Jean and kissed her cheek, hugging tightly. "I will see you at home, after I've raided Logan's whiskey reserves and Scott's terrible taste in movies." Smiling warmly and caressing Jean's cheek before the Wind Goddess stepped back and slowly lifts from the ground. "Take care of her, boys." Smiling before she shot upward into the skies.