12729/Snark Industries

Snark Industries
Date of Scene:	12 February 2021
Location:	First Floor, Avengers Mansion
Synopsis:	Jennifer Walters and Spider-Man bump into each other and have a confusing conversation.
Cast of Characters:	She-Hulk, Spider-Man

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She-Hulk has posed:
    Ash and dust of recent work on Framersheim Whosostat has yet to be swept away, making the mansion look quite the mess, a bit of rust here and there could use some wiping away, a scent of chemicals lingers in the air. The early Friday Morning is probably not condusive to most people being awake, and the mansion is relatively quiet on the first floor... any snoring or other noises from the residents above are likely supressed both by design and technology.

    One soul that is awake is Jennifer Walters, her brow and body glistening with sweat, her body feeling looking exhausted down to her bones, her dainty powered down form seeming more a caucasian cutie than a Jade Glamazon as she slowly exits the gym area, a drink in one hand and a tablet in the other, both arms and both legs all shaking from muscle fatigue. She steadies herself to take a drink, thumbing through the pages on the digital device, skimming some documents, a satisfied smile on her lips.

Spider-Man has posed:
To some, it is early Friday morning, and that's a fair assessment. It's perfectly reasonable. Most people would call it Friday morning. But then there are others who think of time zones and date lines as more of a guideline, than a rule. Like our Friendly Neighorhood Spider-Man, who is still awake from Thursday evening, and has just emerged from the kitchen with a very late night snack, if you can call it that.

Jarvis, oh how Spider-Man loved Jarvis, had saved him some burgers from the previous night's barbecue, one Spider-Man had missed, and put them in the fridge, ready to be nuked in the microwave. Jarvis didn't approve of it from a dietary perspective, but he had come to know Spider-Man's habits and left them in a container with Spider-Man's name on it.

So, Spider-Man was looking for a quiet place to eat, still unfamiliar with the layout of most of the Mansion, carrying a plate with three burgers, and a glass of milk to go with them when he spotted She-Hulk, although he didn't know she was She-Hulk. It was just a gorgeous brunette in gym clothes with a tablet. "Early bird get the worm, huh?" And then looking at his plate, "or is that spider. I'm not sure if I'm the bird's food in this analogy, or if I should suddenly be worried there might be a worm in these."

She-Hulk has posed:
    Missing the barbecue probably was for the best, Jennifer barely even made an appearance, bogged down with a legal matter ot five that Tony had assigned her. Calls to California, Japan, Germany, and Washington to try to handle it. It is why she grabbed the Venti Sextuple Expresso Shot Mocha Chip Chocolate Infinity Frappacinos to keep her awake, and decided to pass the time between calls, returned calls, and while on hold by getting in a rigorous workout. The fact that she somehow still has some drink left is a testament to the fact she bought a bunch.

    The problem with too much sugar and caffiene, along with working out, is the body eventually comes down from the stimulation, and the crash can cause all kinds of issues. Sure, her metabolism when Gorgeous and Green will both eliminate all the issues, but part of the joy of a good workout is feeling the effects in your muscles, their silent cries for mercy a way of telling you your system is blown and welcome to a new day of getting stronger, straight from inside.
    Not having a sixth sense, Jennifer is startled by the voice talking about worms and spiders and birds, and fumbles both her lidded coffee and the LG G-Pad... an almost adorably sweet gasp emitting from her lips, practicly mouse-like. She drops to the floor, trying to rescue both, stammering, "You'd... you'd be the cowbird, getting the meating spiders and seeds." she pouts a bit as she knows she is too tired and not fast enough...

Spider-Man has posed:
The nice thing about having the proportionate speed, reflexes, and athleticism of a spider, plus that Spider-Sense in the back of his head, is that you can, if you choose to, help avoid such embarrassments. There was a quick thwip as a beam of webbing was shot towards the ceiling, keeping his place in place, while he grabbed her drink, without spilling a drop, with his free hand, and caught her pad with his left foot, and all while holding a glass of milk in his other hand. As he offered the drink, her drink, back to her, and raised his leg, which looked really funny, as most men couldn't lift a leg like that, sort of curling his knee into his chest so his foot, well boot, held up her plate at a reasonable height. "Now I know you probably just want to give Jarvis something to do, but I don't think he'd be happy about having to do a deep carpet cleaning. I bet some Avenger's got a super sense of smell, and that can't be good to breath in every time they got to the kitchen."

She-Hulk has posed:
    Did she know he could do that? Yes, but knowing and being ready for it are two different things. So Jennifer is genuinely caught off guard, her pout of sadness shifting to a smile of joy. She blushes a bit as she stands bakc up, taking the tablet from the foot and the drink from the hand. A brief giggle as she considered the vast roster of active and reserve members, "What, you don't have the proportional sense of smell of a Spider from all the hairs on your arms and legs?" then sipping her drink to try to stifle herself from laughing at the absurdity of the situation.

    Considering the situation, she ponders, something then just shakes her head, "I was considering asking if you would be willing to arm wrestle me, but then I realized that no matter what it would be a totally unbalance match. And after you saved my drink and the notes on the patent findings I need to discuss with Tony, it would be totally cruel of me to humiliate your or worse, accidentally hurt you, just to test how much my strength has increased from my workout."

Spider-Man has posed:
"Thankfully not. I spend more time than any rational person should chasing after bad guys in the sewers. It smells bad enough with my regular sense of smell. I've tried to arrange meetings with them in penthouse apartments, yachts, or just the park, but none of them accept my friend requests. Okay, most of them haven't. Shocker's a pretty nice guy, when he's not on the clock." Was that real, or another joke? Hard to say. "I'm sure you're doing great. The Avengers seem to have everything, and I just know that Cap, Hawk, Widow, Thor, and the rest would be willing to help you train. Keep up the good work." He still had no clue who she was, but then, he didn't introduce himself either. He would offer a hand, but both of hers were taken, and when he dealt with the webs and his plate, so were his. And his food was getting cold, but he was too nice to mention it.

She-Hulk has posed:
    There is a moment, and then a sly smile passes her lips, "Herman is a pretty nice guy. He also pays his attorney fees, promptly on schedule, no bounced checks or denied credit charges, no complaints, and rather cheerfully at that." if she is joking, Jennifer's tone doesn't convey it. Placing her tablet on a etegere, she finishes her drink and throws it in a waste bin hidden behind a potted plant beside the fancy shelved furnishing her digital device is now on.

    Taking a moment to stretch and pop some joints, Jennifer smiles broadly, "Cap has trained me plenty, so has Gamora Zen Whoberi Ben Titan, but at the end of the day, only Thor and Bruce tend to be any good for a proper workout. It is just a matter of weight class, no matter what, you wouldn't put Manny Pacquiao or Floyd Mayweather against Mike Tyson, even if Tyson hadn't been keeping in top form." she smiles broadly at the analogy, a slight giggle and a wink, her eyes seeming to glow green for just a second.

Spider-Man has posed:
It was still strange to hear someone refer to a supervillain by their given name. Sure, it made the press when they were unmasked, but Spider-Man was so protective of his own identity that he often followed a similar thing with his enemies, unless of course he was trying to tease and get under their skin. Then he would taunt them mercilessly. Shocker was a good guy, well, bad, but a good person, so Spider-Man showed him a bit of extra respect. He offered a "Gesundheit," when she said Gamora Zen Whoberi Ben Titan, whatever that meant, then at the mention of Pacquiao and Meyweather, "don't remind me. Mayweather v Pacquaio had so many controversies. Mayweather was given two infusions, at his home, that went well beyond the World Anti-Doping Agency rules, and Pacquaio had an injury and was denied an injection he was entitled too, per the rules. Mayweather kept flipfopping on a rematch. And if you watch that fight, Pacquiao won, just not on the judges scorecards."

She-Hulk has posed:
    Thankfully she had finished her drink, or the Gesundheit would have had her spewing it out of her nostrils. Jennifer snort laughs, then smiles, stage whispering, "I wouldn't let the Deadliest Woman in the Universe hear you making fun of her full name. Anyone Thanos would raise as a daughter is someone not to antagonize." she pauses, "Probably a good idea to just not antagonize most folks with Green skin, we tend to not be likeable when we get angry. Though I think people named Jameson, Talbot, and Ross all still haven't learned that concept."

    Opening a cabinet, Jennifer pulls out a towel and beings to wipe her body off, then turns to ask, "Speaking of Jamesons how is JJJ Jr and the 3rd? I left some stuff at the Jameson Manor when I was dating John, and Junior won't return my calls to the Bugle to schedule a time to pick them up. I'd ask about senior, but last I heard he was dating some widow out in Forest Hill, and I wouldn't want to bug the old playah, especially since I think the fact John Sr. dating gets under old flattop's skin more than when his son was dating a gamma enpowered superheroine."

Spider-Man has posed:
Spider-Man continued to stand there, chatting with her, "that does sound like good advice. I bet Martian Manhunter is a bad one to get under the skin of too. Although antagonizing people is kind of my m.o. I'm not sure my fans would appreciate me going off brand," yes, Spider-Man jokes that he has fans, or friends, poor guy. "Jameson would say I've stooped to a new low, pretending to be nice to the good criminals, who I apparently help out. I don't really know him, or the family, just see the headlines, Spider-Man did this, Spider-Man did that, Spider-Man didn't do something else."

She-Hulk has posed:
    Shrugging, Jennifer nods, "You may not know them, but they seem to know you. One of the reasons I stopped dating Johnny was his father couldn't go one family dinner without complaining about you, heroes in general, or some photographer who kept taking photos of you that were too good to not print, too good at painting you in a positive light, and too expensive to keep paying for if the photographer wasn't going to get shots of your criminal acts. That only lead to Johnny defending you, since you saved him early on, and the photographer, who he says seemed like a nice guy and anyone that Mister Robinson praises deserves to be treated with respect. I didn't mind Johnny occasionally defending you and others, but the drama was too much for weekly dinners. Old Jay at least would compliment me on my attire, try to ask if I had any aunts or a grandmother I could introduce him to, or if I knew any retired Superheroines like the Blonde Phantom, Spitfire, Lady Blackhawk, or The Bear. I told him that the Blonde Phantom was happy being a single mother, but I'd hook him up with any of the others if I met them."

    Sighing, she glances at the time on an old grandfather clock, and then Jennifer smiles once more, "If you intend to grab seconds, you might want to hurry, I think Bruce will be waking soon. He had a huge appetite even before he ran out onto the test range and got turned into the Strongest there is, now he probably packs away 9000 calories a meal, or maybe way over that." and then her stomach gurgles, "I probably should get something solid in me as well."

Spider-Man has posed:
By now, the microwaved burgers will be stone cold, and the glass of milk was quite warm, but Spider-Man was too polite to ask to be excused. Plus, it was free food, so he wasn't really one to complain about its state, especially with how little he got paid by the Bugle. Even if J. Jonah Jameson said he was being paid well, he was not. "Ah, thanks, that's good advice. Bon appetite." He really didn't have anything to say about the love life of Jameson or his relatives. He could never quite decide if he even liked the guy. On the one hand, he could be amusing in that, crazy psudo-uncle or grandfather sort of way, and on the other, the man made his life hell. He was also the source of Peter's income. So it was hard to argue that.

She-Hulk has posed:
    Heading to the Kitchen, Jennifer pauses, seeming to ponder something then shaking her head, "Peanut Butter and Ranch Doritoes are probably not a well balanced breakfast, are they?" looking around, then pausing as she gets past the third wall. After a moment of glaring, she says, "Jarvis, spinach, mushroom, steak, three cheese, grilled onion, and jalepeno six egg omelette please," she pauses, considering, then adds "also two bagels with lox, one jalepeno and one plain..." then thinking a bit more she continues with, "and a 18 oz country fried chicken with pepper gravy and a stack of french toast. Probably should add a 32oz chocolate protein shake, quart of orange juice, gallon of milk, and gallon of water," pausing, then finally a sing-songy sugary sweet, "Pweeeease?" smiling at the camera.

    The disembodied voice of the A.I. replies, "Of course Miss Walters. I shall also begin brewing the pots of coffee, just in case you or anyone else wishes to get the boost of caffiene. Your tablet has recieved the final responses about the patents for Mister Stark. You would be best occupied by reviewing them while your light breakfast is being prepared." robotic arms coming out and rapidly begin preparing the meal. The voice returns, "Would you care to request anything..." the voice pausing as if to considered the proper designation of the wall-crawler, "Spider-Man? I have access to a vast database of culinary options, and am entirely capable of multitasking to prepare a half dozen meals simultaniously at no extra energy reallocation. If you would like flies, spiders, birds, other insects, arachnids, arthropods, or more exotic ingredients, I can likely have them in under ten minutes for meal preparation." a touch of snark in the A.I.'s voice, as if it can joke and poke fun too.