14284/Apartment for rent, maid not included.

From United Heroes MUSH
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Apartment for rent, maid not included.
Date of Scene: 07 April 2022
Location: Apartment 3A, Marcy House
Synopsis: Bad news for the local mob, as Deadpool rents an appartment from Hawkeye.
Cast of Characters: Hawkeye (Barton), Deadpool




Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
For once, a quiet evening for Hawkeye. The last training session at SHIELD had been kind of rough, especially on his ears.

For now, the archer is enjoying a nice cup of fresh coffee, working on some arrowheads. The small appartment is quiet, no television, no radio. Real peace.

Deadpool has posed:
It was almost as if the universe had been winding up ready for a cosmic punchline. Who else to interrupt some one's leisure time then the merc with a mouth, toting nothing more then his usual duffle bag and stylish red spandex. Deadpool stood at the entrance to the appartment complex, scrathing his behind rather unceremoniously before entering.

Deadpool swore that if the carpet kept sticking to his feet he was going to end up dragging it along with him. Deadpool eventually reached Hawkeye's apartment and spent at least a minute deciding on just how he should knock and after that minute was up he decided, he shouldn't! Deadpool stepped up close to the door and raised his leg kicking hard against the door and forcing it open whilst he yelled "HEEEERE'S WADE!"

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
The interesting thing about the old carpet, is that he helps follow the steps of visitors, intruders, Russian mafia goons or worst... Wade Wilson aka Deadpool.

The minute Deadpool waited by the door gave ample time for the archer to jump to his bow, notch an arrow and aim at Wade just as he came in. It's a good thing he yelled his name, which reassured the archer. Well, reassured that this intruder wasn't an enemy, but not so reassured him that mayhem wasn't right at the door.

"Fuck you, Wade," Clint Barton welcomes him, "I'm not going to waste a fine arrow on your sorry skull," he says, lowering the bow and returning to the couch, to finish his coffee. "It's not Halloween yet, why are you here?"

Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool stepped in, dropping his bag by the door as he looked around the place "i'm here for honika you intolorant ass!" before pulling up a plastic lawn chair and getting...well not comofortable but seated. "i've come to make you an offer you cannot refuse" he spoke with a greatly exagerated itallian accent but thankfully did not include the hand gesture "been looking for a new place to stay and this place is just my speed! hell, if i poke around the walls enough i could probably find some speed!" it was impossible to tell but there was undoubtably a wide grin underneath his mask

Deadpool seemed to pause for a minute, once more looking over the place "though gotta be honest Clint, i expected sheild to pay better, that or at least offer a maid service"

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
The archer glances around, wondering what is wrong with people not appreaciating his place. First Captain America, now Wilson, mentionning the absence of a maid. Really? With a shrug, Clint walks to the kitchen corner, pouring himself another cup of coffee. He might need it, no kidding.

"You're all mistaking me for some Stark suit," he says, pouring another cup of coffee, which he hands to Wade as he returns to the couch.

"The only offer I couldn't refuse, is if you offered to leave," the archer replies with a grin. "And LEAVE the DAMN WALLS ALONE, or else, this place will crumble to the ground. Got it?"

Once seated, Clint stares at his impromptu visitor. It's been so long that he put the advs up for the appartment to rent. "Kay, are you talking about renting the appartment?" It never hurts to double-check what Deadpool says.

Deadpool has posed:
Looked over to Clint a little confused, taking off his mask to reveal that expression and his less then pleasant to look at face "you're all? are you seeing more then one person here clint? are they telling you to hurt people?" before smirking wide and accepting the coffee, taking a good long sip before letting out a pleased sigh. "as for me renting, i was more looking to rent it out for woodstock...is woodstock even still a thing? if not we can let some influencer host a terrible convention here" despite his rambling, the ever growing grin showed that he was clearly just joking "but until then i think i don't mind renting it out for myself"

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
Listening to Wade, sipping his coffee, the archer remains silent for a moment. Who in their right mind would rent anything place to Deadpool? Well, maybe Clint isn't in his right mind when he replies.

"I was hoping to rent it to some needy person, lone woman with kids, old poor people," he says, and which is true. "Though you DO look like an old piece of shit, you have some perks."

On that, Clint stands and moves to a window, pointing outside, "The Russian mafia is still around, harassing the tenants. I'm busy fighting them off. That's why I live here. With you around, it'd be like spreading Warfarin all around."

Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool seemed to ignore just about everything Clint was saying, slurping extra loud when he talked about helping the poor, but unfortunately he wasn't able to block out the part about the Russian mafia, by that point he had already scolded the back of his throat due to forcing the coffee down his throat. Deadpool held the mug infront of his mouth and rolled his eyes "i do have to question, if you have the mafia harrassing this place, why are you trying to get poor people to move in? just sounds like you're making the situation worse"

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
Clint turns around, leaning against the wall as he looks back at Wade. He thinks for a moment, probably because Deadpool asked a very good question. Something must be wrong in this World.

"Gen-tri-fi-ca-tion," the archer says, "And no, don't go there, it has nothing to do with sex or kids." Wade most likely knows very well what it means. "The mob wants to evict these poor tenants around, not just this building, by violence if needed. These folks don't have the mean to live anywhere else, this neighhourhood is theirs, always been. As long as I keep the mafia at bay, the tenants can live their life in peace."

Then a grin appears on the archer's face, "Think of it this way, Wade. A whole mafia to fight, just enough to keep you in shape when I'm busy elsewhere. You can do whatever you want with the goons, just don't leave bodies on the premises."

Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool sat for a good while in contemplative thought, it all sounded good, very good, well aside from the crappy apartment and having to live under a robbing hood knock off but he knew he could squeeze this for much more. Deadpool scooted up his plastic lawn chair closer to anything that he could use to rest his feet "meaning i'm doing a public service, if i'm doing a public service, i need compensation"

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
Before replying, Clint returns to the couch, sitting down, his feet on the coffee table. It's scary to notice that they do share some good manners.

"Don't push your luck, Wade," Clint says before finishing his second cup of coffee. "Breaking Russian bones will be your compensation. Your rent? You pay the Friday night pizza, mind you, PAY, not deliver." Pause. "And I'll give you free wi-fi. Take it, or leave it."


Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool brought his hands together and sat in a contemplative pose, tapping his fingers against one another as he thought, then suddenly shrugged "okay fine, the wifi sells it, and so long as you can deal with me coming and going as i please we shouldn't have any issue" he smirked and stood up, kicking the plastic lawn chair away after doing so "oh and you should really get some better chairs" before turning to look to Clint and holding his hand out "let's shake on it"

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
Clint stands, seemingly hesitating, wary of some tricks a la Deadpool. Finally, he extends his hand to shake Wade's.

"It's a deal, then. And oh, forgot to mention. Don't go crazy on the wifi, you won't access my calls or emails. It's SHIELDs. Just sayin'."

Deadpool has posed:
"SHIELD's wifi huh? i have to ask...do they use chrome, bing, firefox?...or do they have their own? does it have a really corny name like..." he paused in thought as he tried to think of the name of something corny enough "okay maybe i don't have anything there but i bet some one thought of it, or petitioned it!" he seemed to be lost in one of his own rants, his mind having grabbed onto something new in place of something interesting

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
As far as he knows, Clint can't say there is a spcial name for SHIELD wifi. Not that he would eally care to know.

"I dunno, I'm not using it here," the archer replies, "But what I can tell you is, if you want to watch illegal porn, or buy blackmarket guns, heck do anything fun of that sort, they'll know and send your ass at the bottom of the Ice Box."

Clint pauses, the adds, "Fuck yeah, they can be that cruel to criminals."

Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool gave a casual shrug and grabbed his dufflebag from the doorway, standing in it for a moment and giving a goodbye wave "well, if you know me, you know where to find me"

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
The archer nods, and walks to the door, to check if Deadpool damaged it with his subtile entrance.

Renting the appartment to Deadpool is a huge risk, but in the other hand, it is also a measure of security. For a moment, Clint almost feels sorry for the Russian mob. But this doesn't last.

"Alright, and don't forget the pizza tomorrow."