14306/How to Handle Beaurocrats for Dummies

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How to Handle Beaurocrats for Dummies
Date of Scene: 13 April 2022
Location: Lucifer's Penthouse, Melville
Synopsis: Pulling a favour of a beaurocratic nature. After all, the Devil got a driver's license.
Cast of Characters: Askante, Lucifer




Askante has posed:
Maybe it's an evening of going through the latest potential offerings that Lux might offer; edible, drinkable or watchable. Maybe it's doing the books, boring as that might be but necessary. Nevertheless around 9pm, there's a tap tap tap on the balcony window, a tall, familiar figure in its duster and stetson standing there, fifty stories up with no wings in sight.

Lucifer has posed:
Lucifer is enjoying a rather quiet evening to himself. With Nathaniel downstairs presumably keeping company and Lucifer with no business in Lux for the night really, he decided to simply stay upstairs and indulge. So when there's a tapping on his window, he glances over to see the familiar figure of his friend and smiles. Shifting to stand, he walks over to the balcony and opens the one window-door that does actually open. "Askante. What a pleasant surprise. Please, come in." A pause as he shifts to move so it can enter. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Askante has posed:
"Lucifer. Thank you. I am vexed and disenfranchised." And it has apparently been reading its kids encyclopedia britannica, along with a dictionary or two. "And I feel as if I have become that which I did not wish to be. I've come because I am completely at a loss as to what to do or where to go to get these things called... Eye-Dees. There's a lot of paperwork and they want pieces of paper that I don't have." It takes its hat off, which makes its spines sproing some, which is a sure sign of nettled emotional state. They look quie spectacular if you like giant ebony porcupines at any rate.

Lucifer has posed:
"What is that, my friend? What have you become that you did not wish to be?" Lucifer asks this, closing that balcony door and then follows Askante into the room. "Would you like something to drink? Ah... I have alcohol, water, milk..." This much more offered before listening to it further. Considering the words a moment he hums and then 'ahs'... "ID? Like something official to tell people who you are? Makes you, to many people, some sort of member of society? Is that it? Whatever would you want one of those for?" His tone is curious really, and perhaps a bit surprised.

Askante has posed:
"Apparently you need a piece of it, to even get a library card." Askante says with a scoff. "Once, you gave the scribe money or an offering from the souk and went to read. Now, they want tiny pieces of plastic and paperwork! They want something called... social... security? I think that is what it is... to get jobs, or find a place to live. I have... someone that will let me stay in a room, which is nice. But if I am to learn this new world, I need... to be a part of it, it seems." The daemon, wrinkles its nose at this. "Milk with honey? Do you have this? I have not had milk with honey for a long while. But lots of water, coffee and the delicious thing called fizzy pop."

Lucifer has posed:
Lucifer blinks, looking over at Askante for a moment. "Someone? Have you made another friend, Askante? I'm impressed, and happy for you." A pause. "Ah, so you need a whole setup. Well that's going to be interesting isn't it? But, I know people. I have to know people don't I? Otherwise Lucifer Morningstar wouldn't be able to get a newspaper much less own an entire business venue." He laughs at that as he turns and walks to the kitchen. "Remind me, is that warm milk mixed with honey? Or cold? Are they mixed... fucks sake, it's been so long...perhaps we'll both indulge in some of paradise's bountiful offering.."

Askante has posed:
Askante brings both its hands together and bows over the clasped palms, a very veddic kind of practice and it walks to the refrigerator, staring at it with a smile for a moment. "I love this, too. A larder that is always cold and everyone has one in their home. Such luxury and they do not know it..." it opens it and looks at the milk, then the cream and brings both out. "In the summer they drank it from the morning milking, kept in the shadow so that it would be cool. In the mornings, they drank it fresh from the goat or cow... I think it is just a difference in the spicing?" It unscrews both bottles, sniffing at both. "But milk is not the same. We must add some of the cream back to it."

Lucifer has posed:
"No. People started to think that processing milk and making it 'safer' was a good idea... I'm not entirely sure what made them think that... since people have been drinking milk from the teat since they were born." Lucifer chuckles at his own joke and then grabs honey from a cabinet, two glasses and a pitcher. "Would you like to do the honors of making the drink?" Asking this as he slides the pitcher closer to Askante. "You'll need a name. I'll need an address. Likely the one your friend lives at. Otherwise... I can get you anything you need. Are you...planning on working at all or just... going to libraries?"

Askante has posed:
Askante bows over clasped palms again, taking the pitcher in a silent yes and setting to work. A jack of all trades is a master of none, but it picked up many a simple skill over the years and remembers many of them. A careful mix of milk and cream, the adding of honey, of cardamom and a little cinnamon, carefully blended together with judicious sniffing to tell it whether it smells right. "So much safety, yet there are still so many fools stumbling where they should not go. Occasionally, one can over safety things, I think. You stop being able to guage what should or shouldn't be attempted that way..." glancing up it can but shrug "...I don't know if I will work. I feel it might help me understand, so I will give that address, or perhaps find one that I can use. Or.. or go with your recommendation?" Just a little vanilla shaved in with a claw from the pod itself, then it steps back with a bow of its head to the milk pitcher.

Lucifer has posed:
Lucifer watches it mix milk, cream, honey and spices into a blend that they are both fondly familiar with. He'll have to save some for Sinister to try later as well when the man returns from what he is doing downstairs. "Yes well. I think it's the mortal complexity of wanting to live as long as they can. A futile attempt, at best, but I suppose in some ways it has worked." He offers this and then smiles. "So tell me about this...someone...whom is going to give you a room. Are they nice? Do they treat you alright?" There is, perhaps, a concern in Lucifer's voice as he asks these things that stem from a fondness he has for Askante. "I recommend the address you will be staying at. It makes the process a bit more doable... and will give it some validity even though most of the things will be wholly falsified. To be fair." He then pours them both a glass from the pitcher and takes one into hand, lifting it in mock toast.

Askante has posed:
The best modern equivalent is probably lassi, the middle-eastern yoghurt and fruit drink. But nothing compares to milk and honey how once it was made. It raises its glass in honour and sips deep of it afterwards with a sigh of contentment and appreciation. "They all wish that tomorrow would never come. Even when old age makes them wizzened and thier sight fails." It shakes its head softly with a rattle of quills, looking up and under brow ridges to the devil. "She is strange, but she does not seem to notice that I am what I am, but doesn't see me as what they want me to be. She has a tiny robot and she plays games for a living. I think she is kind. But odd. Like a guru." It explains. "She lives at..." rattling off the address.

Lucifer has posed:
"Would be you to find someone strange to befriend, wouldn't it?" Lucifer asks while lifting his own glass to take a long drink. His eyes close for a moment as the taste brings back some subtle memories - but only just and only for the briefest of moments. As Askante continues to talk, he locks in that address within his mind only to write it down somewhere a moment later. "Wait. Strange and has a tiny robot?" Something clicks within Lucifer's mind and he glances back to it. "This strangeness wouldn't involve talking in the third person would it?"

Askante has posed:
Askante nods to that, taking its glass in two hands so it does not run the risk of spilling a single drop, revelling in the simplest of things. Another sip taken, a milk moustache had over the black of lips. "She refers always like she is a they and not a her and personal. The robot is called squishy." It replies. "You have encountered her before?"

Lucifer has posed:
"I haven't, no. Nathaniel has. Once. Outside a place called The Magic Box in Sunnydale. Apparently there was quite a riot. Involving mudmen, drugs, and shoes." Lucifer recalls in a very fond way. "He spoke highly of her, and of her robot. I think she impressed him even in the small amount of time he had spoken and interacted with her." A pause so he can take another long drink of this milk before thinking about it and makes a third glass. This glass will somehow - eventually - make it's way downstairs and floats in front of Sinister.

<<You have to try this. Let me know if it reminds you of anything. Also, small worlds are small. A friend of mine will be living with a friend of yours.>> He thinks this to Sinister and smiles to Askante. "How soon do you think you'll need this paperwork and identification?"

Askante has posed:
"Oh, I don't know. I am on the third book of the encyclopedia you gifted me with." And yes, nobody told it you're not supposed to read it cover to cover. "I imagine that I will need more information by that time, that is mundane and ordinary and pertains to the humans, rather than the fun and fantastical that pertains to ourselves." It chuckles. "A small world no matter how vast the corners of it are."

<<It reminds me of a mother's milk. Sweet and slightly spicy and rich. They say it tastes like mild, sweet tea and they aren't wrong. Most people don't remember what the milk of their mother tasted like though. I suspect I'm peculiar.>> A chuckle is heard in mind. <<Friend though? I scoff at you. I have no friends that I am aware of.>> with a jovial undertone of jocularity.

Lucifer has posed:
"Indeed." Lucifer says to their small world comment. "Alright. I'll get something working for you as quick as I can. And I'll do it in exchange for what you have already given me." He lifts his glass up and drains the rest of it down. "In the meanwhile, are you comfortable to actually live in a house with someone? Is there anything I can help you with for that? Furniture perhaps? A decorator?"

<<Oh yes. Your little friend who you sent mudpeople after and then came home with a fuck load of shoes. The one with a robot who talks in the third?>> Lucifer sends back and can't help but actually smile at the exchange.

Askante has posed:
"Is there such a thing as a tiny refridgerator?" Oh, you bet your bum there is. Iddy biddy barfridges are so cool! "I do not think I have a need for much else. I sleep in a nest and I keep my trinkets in my coat. Oh, you should look at this coat sometime. I think the huxster that I took it from, had connections to the nether."

<<Ahh! I think I scared her off, or Dracula did. I really don't remember a whole lot of that experience with much clarity, other than I was /craving/ going shopping. We ended up in a clothing depository. A warehouse I think? My my.>>

Lucifer has posed:
"Yes! They're called mini fridges, or bar fridges, and I can get you one of those - no problem." Lucifer offers this and then smiles. "Well would you need some things to build a new nest? And I would love to see this coat of yours. If it has ties to the nether that would be amazing to look into." He nods, then pours himself another glass. "Oh! You'll need a name. If there's a name you prefer that's ok. If not, we'll make one up."

Askante has posed:
"My name is my name? Askante is a name, isn't it? Oh, you mean... like you are Morningstar?" The Daemon shrugs its shoulders up. "I don't know what would fit..." But saying this, it shrugs out of the ancient duster and holds it out. It HAD four arm holes. Somehow it only has two when it hands it to the devil. "Craven? That is a name for those that fear, is it not? Truth, it matters very little to me and more to them, I suppose." Pause "I like blankets."

Lucifer has posed:
Lucifer thinks on things for a moment and then reaches to take the coat from it. "Askante Craven. Has a nice ring to it... and I like the affinity to who and what you are." This as he looks over the coat, peeking inside and out of it, and then he motions. "May I reach into the pockets?" Not wanting to just do without any sort of permission even if the coat was freely given to him. "Blankets eh? Nice plush ones? Soft? Big? Small? All sizes?"

Askante has posed:
"All sized. Some rough, some soft. Sensation is a thing that I suffer with sometimes. I was dreamed into being with scales, I don't always feel as much as I think others do. I am sometimes jealous. Sometimes, I like rough things because I can rasp them on my scales." Askante replies, with a chuckle and a toothy grin. It thinks about the request though, squinting at the coat. "I think so. I don't have anything very sharp in there, just a paring knife."

The pockets go down. Down down. DOWN down. The openings of them are larger than usual, capable of stashing say... a whole loaf of bread or a football at the outside, but with some exploration of fingers, one can find the pockets in the pockets, where everything and anything is stashed. That feels like a yoyo, that's a carving of somekind, all in their own little hidey holes. Like it was made by an extra-dimensional nethersquirrel.

Lucifer has posed:
"Also, and I say this with absolute affection, are you able to make yourself look..." Lucifer begins and then motions to himself. "Like me? Like Nathaniel? Or even a woman if you prefer. Something that doesn't quite have a visible gender - we call those androgynous. I mean I know there are creatures out of this world out there, but it might become you to...look a bit more Terran-like...if you're going to try and involve yourself with the workings of Terra." He says this. "I don't think it matters, some might. It's up to you. I'm just trying to ascertain how you plan on surviving outside of your...hidey-hole nest."

Then he's exploring the coat. The pockets of them. The pockets within the pockets. He smirks, shifts a hand over, raises a brow. "You really do have a lot of room in here, and a lot of things in the lots of rooms. I like it. Connected to the nether, it might be..." He pulls his arm from the pocket and then stares at the jacket, eyes flashing of Hellfire as if to analyze it more.

Askante has posed:
"No. But then I've never had to. People see me exactly as they want to see me. You? You are the archangel of the light. You see me as I am. People usually see me as well, another person I suppose. I never really know. But I'm fairly sure they've mistaken me for an animal or a statue or a lump of rock before." It shrugs four shoulders. "I think when I'm actually talking to them, they seem me as one of them. You're not one of them, you see me as not one of them. Maybe you do see what you want to see, too? Never thought about that before..."

The jacket is in its own right, a kind of living thing. It looks like a coat, but it isn't completely. It gives off... symbiotic vibes, but no intelligence. Oddly, if one were to compare it to anything, it would be something like a flatworm, only definitely not of this world. Regardless, it feels like it can get hungry or slaked. Likely it feeds on little bits and pieces of dead skin or foliage and the like from whomsoever puts hands in, or things in. Maybe once in a while edible thngs go missing from a pocket. It's definitely magical though, but it does not create anything out of itself but space.

Lucifer has posed:
"Ah. Right. I forgot that. Sorry." Lucifer says this. "I see you for you because you are a daemon and I see your truth. It's the same for Hope. I see her as she is, not what others see her as." He offers this and smiles. "So that's fine, surely. Alright. Askante Craven, of (rattling off the address). In a few days time I will send documents there so you will have all you need to immerse yourself into the world."

The jacket is regarded again and he smirks. "This is an interesting thing. It is an object both living and not, and it only makes what it needs, which is space. To hold all the things you place inside it. I like it." This and he offers it back over to Askante then.

Askante has posed:
"It is the coat of many pockets. I do not know how the man got it, but perhaps someone else brought it here and it hid being innocuous until he picked it up from some place with light fingers and ill intent. The amount of packs of cards I found in it when I took it after he did not need it any more was very confusing for a while." Askante slides the jacket on, the arms splitting and becoming four when it goes over the back. "Thank you, Lucifer Morningstar. I did not know who else might have been able to help. I did not think explaining to some human with a computer and a boring job, would have worked well." It nods though. "It is easy to forget what is never in mind, because of what you are."

Lucifer has posed:
"Some things are fun mysteries..." Though that doesn't mean Lucifer is going to maybe search for what he can find on the jacket. "Here..." He shifts and grabs a metal cup out of one of his cabinets. "This is called a tumbler. It's insulated. That is, there's a layer of protection between the outside and inside, and it's designed to keep any liquid poured into it at around the same temperature for a long while. So cold things stay cold, hot things stay hot...so this.." He pours a bit of the milk into it and secures it with a lid. "Will be drinkable for a while, longer if you can find a fridge to put it in for now." This is handed over. "I suppsoe I will see you in a few days when you're all settled and can take a delivery?"

Askante has posed:
"Oh, oooooh. How clever!" Taking the tumbler and turning it upside down once it's sealed, that will be a treasure in no time. It definitely will. "I have a fridge in a ruined church. I figured out how to splice into the wiring -- there were men that showed the lightbulb when I was awake last and I remembered it. But my fridge doesn't have shelves. Yours does. They come with -shelves-." Old battered thing likely found on the edge of the street, knowing the Daemon. "Thank you Lucifer. I appreciate it." Tumbler put away, it bows its head, then vanishes in a cloud of shadow moths that dissipate into the ether.