14365/On The Nature of Fear

On The Nature of Fear
Date of Scene:	08 May 2022
Location:	Penthouse - Stark Tower
Synopsis:	Alexander speaks with Pepper about how to manage fear, and then end up talking all about Natasha.
Cast of Characters:	Pepper Potts, Phobos

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Pepper Potts has posed:
When he called, Pepper was more than happy to have him over this evening. She insisted on dinner. Of course, she wouldn't cook, but Tony was out with other business and she always felt a little sad ordering in solo. So, his visit would be an excuse to order something fancy. Tonight, it's from one of the best Italian places in the city. Angel hair pasta with shrimp scampi, divine garlic bread, home made cannoli for dessert. It's simple fare but done with such expertise it elevates the dinner to the next level.

Pepper, of course, has a bottle of red breathing. Even if he can't get drunk, it's something to be savored with the meal. She's out of her more casual brunch clothes, having cooked this morning for the team, and in an elegant gray dress with a matching jacket. She's still putting her best face forward with him, not certain how relaxed their friendship is. Yet.

Phobos has posed:
    There was still just enough of a cold wind through the city to encourage a jacket. Just enough of Winter still lingering even though Spring had all the rights to be in full swing but someone didn't let the seasons know. For this was why, when Alexander showed up, he was wearing a black jacket on over a grey buttoned up shirt. Tan slacks covered his legs and a pair of sneakers covered his feet, giving him a slightly more dressed up than normal look to him... yet still leisurely at a glance.
    He had given a good amount of thought to such, for how did one dress for such a discussion? Though hopefully it won't be too terribly difficult there was still some pensiveness to the Olympian youth who rode up in the beautiful elevator that gave such a wondrous view of the skyline.
    When the doors opened out to the penthouse proper, he arrived with a small smile and a bottle of Svedka Vodka in hand. And when he saw the mistress of the house he raised it in greeting. "This was all we had," Since Natasha is the one who occasional makes sure they have alcohol. And otherwise procuring such on a Sunday night at this time... was slightly more difficult than the norm.

Pepper Potts has posed:
There's a little laugh that escapes Pepper's lips as she sees his offering. She shakes her head gently, "Alexander. All you or Natasha EVER have to bring here is yourselves, you know? It's not like Tony or I ever are wanting for anything. I'd much rather your company thank you scrambling for a hostess gift." She greets him at the door, reaching over to pull him into a one armed, brief hug and a European kiss to the cheek.

But, since he did bring the vodka, she will graciously accept the offering. She takes the bottle, looking over the label before smiling, "I'll put this on ice for after dinner cocktails, perhaps. I hope you did also bring an appetite. I ordered from Don Giovanni's and it smells divine. If you didn't come tonight, I'd probably have ended up just doing some sort of boring smoothie or protein shake so this was an excellent excuse to splurge."

Phobos has posed:
    "There's nothing wrong with a smoothie," Alexander offers in counterpoint, considering that is often what he indulges in when he is feeling rather uncreative himself. But he takes the time at the door to slip his jacket off and set it aside before advancing in after Pepper.
    That euro-kiss is given and he smiles and lowers his eyes a little and makes a small 'mwah' sound, very small as if not entirely at ease with the custom or too entirely familiar with such. But then he's following along.
    "I could eat, but not too much. Long night ahead of me." Though as to the why he doesn't explain. At least not yet.
    "I umm, well Nat and I were talking earlier. And she thought I should talk with you. I'm of an opinion about it already, but she felt it might be best to just discuss it with you directly."

Pepper Potts has posed:
"Long night? What's going on? I...didn't realize there was an operation in progress. Well, eat something, at least, before you go." Pepper, now realizing that he's on a timeline, starts setting out dishes fairly quickly and opening the take out containers on the table. She's not so snobby that she had to put it in fancy dishes, at least.

Then he's mentioning about him and Natasha talking. Her head tilts to the side curiously, brows arching as she settles down in at the table to pour them both a glass of wine. She is now quite curious, getting the sense that his phone call was a bit more than a friendly visit.

Phobos has posed:
    "Less work and more personal," Alexander says as he murmurs, "It's..." The young man half-smiles and shakes his head slightly, then says. "I have obligations to a friend's fencing club and they tend to be very competitive so it..." He uncurls a hand to the side, waving it a little. "Just a small thing."
    Though as she starts to bustle he shakes his head, "It's not a rush, starts at 10pm and runs four hours. So we have time." He smiles a little.
    But then at the chance to shift things away from his own matters and to the reason he had come by, he embarks on that path with both feet rather quickly. "After the mission the other day." When they had been sitting and waiting for those phone calls, "I talked with Natasha for a time. And, I hope you will forgive me, but I mentioned to her that you were upset."

Pepper Potts has posed:
Pep slows down a bit as he assures her he's in no rush, but she still does pour him a nice glass of wine and slides the delicate, garlicky pasta in his direction for serving. She doesn't interrupt otherwise, but listens with a curious tilt to her head and slightly narrrowed, thoughtful eyes. Her brow arches as he adds mentioning it to Natasha.

"I don't know if I'd have used the word... Upset. I was worried, is all. Rightfully so. I get worried any time they go of. But... what matter is that? It's a part of caring for someone in this dangerous profession. I've signed up for this."

Phobos has posed:
    A small exhalation is heard as he smiles, just what might have been a laugh if he gave it a little more oomph, but he does accept the wine and the pasta as he shakes his head a little. He settles down there, however, and begins to make himself somewhat at ease. For that is Pepper's gift.
    Looking up he tilts his head and says, "I umm..." Alexander uncurls a hand, "It's part of my gift that I can sense fear and anxiety. And you seemed to have a fair amount. Which, yes, completely understandable. You were handling it well considering the scope and such."
    He clears his throat a little, eyes lowering, then returning to hers. "But Natasha knows I am also capable of making things... easier for people who are feeling that way. And she asked if I could help you." He takes another deep breath, buying time to choose the words properly as he then adds, "I told her I could. But that it's not my place. Because the fear of loss, the fear for one you care for, that's tied deeply to love. And it would be an intrusion. But she wished for me to at the least offer it as an option for the future if it became... too much."

Pepper Potts has posed:
That offer isn't something she ever expected to recieve, or even had thought possible. Pepper blinks quietly to him, a hint of surprise crossed through her pale eyes. "Oh, I... uh..." She starts quietly, burying her thoughts behind a good sip of her red wine instead of immediately responding. It was something she had to chew over, literally and metaphorically, following that wine with a small nibble of her dinner. But it's an absent minded bite. She's caught up in the philosophical conundrum of such.

"I mean...what would it feel like? I can't imagine Tony going out there, doing something dangerous, and my just not... caring. You're right, the fear for him is directly tied to how much I love him. It's what makes it personal..."

Phobos has posed:
    "Exactly," Alexander gives a nod and uncurls a hand toward her. "I could make it so you did not feel it. Or I could take the edge off of it. But..." He shakes his head, "The moment I did anything, you would not be able to know for sure, or trust yourself. I would not want to raise that specter or betray your trust that way."
    He takes a deep breath, "I asked Natasha that if I was perhaps endangered by something and she had no choice but to wait and worry... would she take a pill to make it all go away? I view it as... the same thing."
    His eyes lower as he considers the glass of wine. "However, if it became a thing where you were endangered or... there was some risk. I would want you to know about it beforehand. Which I suppose is why we're having this talk."

Pepper Potts has posed:
A slow breath escapes her nose as Pepper considers it quietly. She knows she's been far worse off than that night he saw her -- there are times she wanted to crawl out of her own skin, scream, cry, where the panic has been so bad she could barely breathe. But that isn't right now. She sighs, sinking back into her chair as she lets her glass rest between her fingertips and she looks down into it for a few heartbeats.

"Yes... I can see the use in it all, but... I wouldn't want it. Not unless there was real danger. If things are... bad, if I need a more clear head and I'm lost in a panic, I... I suppose it'd be a good idea. But I can't imagine doing it willigly otherwise. You're right. Worrying is a part of it all. I... can't even imagine what it's like without that worry."

Phobos has posed:
    The young Olympian nods as he murmurs, "If we were in a combat situation and you needed a clear head to survive, I might presume then. But I take this... seriously." Ever since his first use of that power in his early years.
    "But also we thought it might be good if you knew that this was an option. Just in case." A small smile then he flares his hands, "So yeah. Being the God of Fear has its own ins and outs."
    Which makes him crinkle his nose a little as he looks away, then back. "Though it does make watching horror movies a lot easier." A small. Smol. Attempt at levity.

Pepper Potts has posed:
A slight chuckle escapes her lips at the horror movie comment, her head tilting a bit to the side, "But doesn't it make it boring? Or perhaps you were simply jesting. I just... Goodness, I don't know if I can imagine living without fear or anxiety. Hell, I wonder if I'm nearly so good at my job as I am because of a constant stream of fear that I might mess something up, or not be good enough." It's distinctly possible that Pepper Potts should *actually* be on some anxiety meds. To say the woman is high strung would be putting it lightly. But she doesn't see it that way.

"Still... it is useful to know. And I appreciate you incredibly for... warning me. Asking me at all, really. Knowing a head of time helps. Having any tools in our back pocket for these messy situations... will help. Who knows what the future is going to bring."

Phobos has posed:
    "It does make some things harder," Alexander smiles a little, "We talked about that a little." Since he did offer that insight a few weeks ago, though he didn't dwell on it terribly long. But then he nods to some of what Pepper is saying as she offers that insight, "Fear does trigger that fight or flight, and for some people the fight can be a large boon."
    His lips twist wryly, "I've only felt actual fear... twice I think. Maybe three times." His features crinkle as he seems to sour at the idea, as if it was a sign of weakness to have had such. But he finally lifts the glass of wine and takes a sip.
    "Twice was because of girls." The way he says that last word, he draws it out as if to say, 'gurrrls'. Because they are so very difficult.

Pepper Potts has posed:
The 'Girls' comment gets a long, slightly amused look from her, curiousity dancing through her pale eyes. "Oh really now? Care to... tell me about it? I am curious. And I think that is a good proof that, just because you don't often feel fear, you are capable of it. YOu do have a heart capable of all range of emotions, even if you are better at holding it back than most..."

Phobos has posed:
    A wry smirk flickers over his features and for once... and perhaps the first time, Pepper might see some of the appeal that others might see in the blond demi-god. It's there in that handsome half-smile and the crinkle of his nose as he shakes his head and scoffs just a little. That slight twinge of arrogance that makes those otherworldly eyes glimmer with an almost malicious mirth. There for a moment, then gone as he looks away and down to his glass of wine. Perhaps a brief instant of that mask slipping, or just a feeling of joviality and perhaps even... kinship with the woman who spends a good amount of her time with her thoughts on her loved one. As he does so with his own.
    "My first kiss, some time ago." He confesses so, holding up a hand as if to forestall any inquiry into the matter beyond what he offers. "Understandably a moment of confusion."
    Then he scritches his chin as if weighing the moment then he said. "And when I bared my heart to Natasha. Since I had..." He laughs and shakes his head, "I had zero idea if my feelings were requited. Like at all."

Pepper Potts has posed:
"...well... Those seem very good, sensible times to feel fear. And a great amount of proof as to just how much you DO care, even if you worry you... do not. Any concern you had that you don't feel the same ways we do..." Pepper shakes her head, trying to catch his eyes across the table so he can see just how serious she is, "Don't think about it again. You've got the same amount of heart as all of us. You're just a bit better at holding it together than us mere mortals." She gives him a quiet, reassuring smile. It's the smile that also speaks of Pepper's own strength, just how excellent she is at supporting those in the fight. The reasons Tony relies on her and how she does help hold him up through everything.

Phobos has posed:
    An 'mmmph' is given back to her as he murmurs with a half-smile, "Jury's still out." As if not willing to cede that ground. "But that was what I wanted to talk about. And now we're clear, and if you feel you need help or whatever... well you can ask."
    He then straightens up and pulls the garlic pasta closer to himself. "Now, I am going to eat all your food and drink you alcohol, then wander off to play with swords with my friends from school."
    He grins a little and then digs in.

Pepper Potts has posed:
The redhead looks more than pleased to see him properly diving into the food and drink, "Well, I'd be gently miffed if you didn't eat and drink, so please, have your fill. I promise not to get you TOO tipsy before you play with swords." Pepper winks at him teasingly, rather aware that he probably can't get drunk at all. Certainly not on a bit of wine.

After a few moments of thoughtful, somewhat more relaxed eating, her head tilts a bit as she narrows eyes thoughtfully at him. "Come to think...I suspect you and Natasha met through SHIELD but I don't believe I know the whole story..."

Phobos has posed:
    A small chuff is heard from him as she makes that promise, those hazel eyes lifting to meet her gaze even as he shakes his head mock-condemningly of her tipsiness before it is even an issue. But he does take a bite of the pasta and his eyebrows lift at the flavor, a good one to be sure. He chews a bit, drinks a little more wine.
    "This is exquisite, thank you." The food and drink. He takes a bit more time with that then settles back into his seat while holding the wine glass.
    "Ah, as to that." She asks of the story and his eyes distance a little. For a time he looks at Pepper as if appraising her, gauging if she's someone that Natasha would take exception to knowing the tale of such. And, to be fair, Pepper is one of her few friends. And is taken in confidence at times with personal matters.
    So he embarks.
    "She was a friend of my father's. They saved the 84 Olympics together I believe? After that she would poke her head in now and again."
    He lifts his drink, "So I met her before SHIELD, technically. But I never really knew her. She was just this... mystery that would sweep in and out now and again."

Pepper Potts has posed:
"I do know the very best food in this city. After a decade of taking care of Tony's rather... particular tastes, I know what's worth the price. If you ever need date recommendations, let me arrange the whole night. You both will be in for quite an evening. My treat. Let me take care of you both, as friends..." Pepper's smile seems a little delighted at the thought. Not just recommendations, she'll plan an entire surprise evening for them.

Then she falls back into taking a few more bites of her food. going silent so she can listen to his story. Her brows both lift as she hears about the myth of Natasha before he ever properly met her, "Alright, and how did you make the jump from... this myth of a woman disappearing and reappearing from your father's life to... where you both are now?"

Phobos has posed:
    Another laugh comes from him as Alexander eyes Pepper, then shakes his head. But then eyes her again, as if curious what sort of machinations the young woman might be able to craft for just such an escapade. "I'll tell Natasha," He says at the least, perhaps she'll take Ms. Potts up on the offer.
    "But how we met met." He goes on to say, "Well it had been a good bit of time. I had decided that I wanted to enter SHIELD and make my way on my own merit. I didn't want to be treated specially or... have people assume things." He offers that as his eyes distance a little, ordering his thoughts for the telling.
    "So it was during exercises. We were doing air rescue drills. It was my... sixth week in training for one of SHIELD's tactical response teams." He rubs the back of his neck thoughtfully, "And everything is going normally. Then out of nowhere an assault group drops in on us and starts to disarm everyone and take us all as hostages. The instructor tells us this is for real and we need to cooperate."
    He half smiles, "Me, being... a little headstrong, I decide to take down one of the attackers, get his gun, and take one of them hostage." A small laugh comes from him as he remembers what happened next. "Suddenly, boom, lights go out. I turn. And the gun is kicked out of my hand. One second I'm up and in control, next I'm on the ground and realizing it's three minutes later."
    His smile broadens, "And that. Is how I met the Black Widow."

Pepper Potts has posed:
That makes Pepper all out laugh, shaking her head, "...So, I take it she was on your side in the end? Though that is... quite the meeting. And you're lucky you still have your head. She's deadly, when she wants to be. She must have liked you already." Pepper states with a teasing bit of a grin. She sets her fork aside then, plate mostly clear, and scoops up her wine to nurse through the end of dinner.

"And just how did you convince her to go out with you? That's the real miracle, you know."

Phobos has posed:
    "Ah man, that had... some build up." Alexander settles into the chair a little more, slouching a bit. "We talked after that, and it was nice. She remembered me, and promised to give me my privacy and freedom so long as it didn't endanger things." He uncurls a hand toward Pepper as if asking her to take the answers from him.
    "I continued training, she taught a few classes but nothing out of the ordinary happened then." A tilt of his head is given to the side as he ponders, then says. "Later, though. I went on a series of missions. Working with senior operatives. Dead drops. Routine work. Nothing out of the ordinary. But on the last run... we were walking through Esztergom in Hungary. And when we got there we realized that AIM had a lot of boots on the ground. We started to see notable figures. Then when we were walking down the street she saw something, turned to me, and told me to kiss her."
    Alexander smiles a little, scrunching up one eye. "I knew it was tactics. Since she saw someone who would recognize her. Turned out to be Tony Masters. But that was our first kiss, though we both played it straight. But... it left an impression on me."

Pepper Potts has posed:
The bit about the kiss draws a look of surprise to Pepper's features, but the end of that story brings her to look a bit more delighted. She smiles wider, taking a good sip of her wine before a little laugh escapes her lips. "Well, isn't that charming. I'm glad it did, because goodness knows she needs to let down a few walls on occasion. But... tell me, how did you manage to talk her into going further than a kiss to help sell a mission?"

Phobos has posed:
    That causes Alexander's features to shift a little, a hint of discomfort... embarrassment? A rare thing seen on the young man's countenance. His eyes narrow a little as he smiles, one of those pained smiles as if trying to choose the right words, and in this case perhaps not be killed in the future by the topic of the conversation.
    "We talked a little about it, one of those... discussions that said nothing. But because it existed said something." Then he tilted his head to the side, "I was intrigued with her, attracted to her, and also in some ways kind of... angry with her? Though I felt it was ego since... after she took me down so easy during that training exercise I'd been running scenarios, exercising and trying to come up with a 'solution' to the Black Widow. How I could have countered her and won the fight."
    He shakes his head and half-smiles, "And I couldn't. It was super frustrating. Until one day she saw me replaying that fight and she snuck herself into it to recreate it."
    His eyes tighten a little as the tips of his ears color with a hint of a blush then he murmurs, "And at the end of it, we kissed."

Pepper Potts has posed:
Hearing the story, even if he looks a little embarrassed, Pepper is smiling wide. There is no judgment in her eyes, just warmth and quiet charm as she looks him over, "Well, sometimes it happens that way. Especially with both of you... with a woman like Natasha, it was never going to happen if you didn't push, just a little bit. And being able to match her? That... that matters a lot. I suspect it matters more than most things. Because she knows you can stick it out at her side. You're not going to go down in this dangerous world. You're someone she can rely upon... Trust. That's... huge, Alex. THat's life changing for her, you realize?"

Phobos has posed:
    "I... think I do," Alexander says, because perhaps at this point he knows it's fool-hardy for anyone to fully say they know the mind of the Black Widow. "I think it's important in some ways, how barring the unforeseen, we'll be around for each other for a long time. Since she's had..." A tilt of his head is given as if starting down a path he doesn't know if he should walk it. But he finishes with, "Well she's lived a good number of years."
    A beat, then he adds, "But yeah. I have felt like it's important for me to live up to that. To the trust she's invested. I mean..."
    Alexander looks away, then back as he murmurs, "Being with me is not all wine and roses. There are a lot of problems with having my family as relatives. Though she's handled it well so far."

Pepper Potts has posed:
"And being with her isn't wine and roses either, I'm certain. God knows Tony and I aren't either. But... that's part of being in a relationship. Thinking that person is worth it, no matter what. You think she's worth it. She thinks you're worth it." Pepper dares to reach one hand across the table, giving the back of his palm a single, mometary squeeze before she lets go.

"It's good, Alexander. You both are good together. Great. Really. So, don't ever feel like your care isn't enough, just because you feel things differently... It's enough. She's happy, and you're happy. That's what matters."

Phobos has posed:
    She likely can see he's torn between several reactions as she squeezes his hand. There's perhaps part of him that might be his youth seen as he exhales a small chuff, as if it's all a bit silly, his nose crinkling a little. But then there's a sort of wistful look when she mentions how they're good together and his eyebrows rise as if accepting that... yes that's true. Then acceptance as he looks across and meets her gaze, "Yeah, I think so."
    That's what matters.
    Then, of course, he tries to deflect with humor as he adds. "I mean, can be tough. Wake up in the morning, walk sleepily to the bathroom to brush your teeth and accidentally pull a Glock out of the medicine cabinet instead of your toothbrush."
    He nods as if he has indeed known that difficulty, "Or in between the cushions of the couch."

Pepper Potts has posed:
"You know, you *really* should practice better gun safety. At least in lockable drawers, if you have company. Not between the couch cushions." Pepper teases him lightly, a wider smile across her lips. She knows it was an attempt at humor, and she's teasing back.

"But... for tonight, you have some fencing to get off to, don't you? And I should drag my other half out of the workshop before he falls asleep on one of his robots."

Phobos has posed:
    "Yeah," Alexander places his hands flat on the table and pushes himself up to his feet. A smile is given, "I should stop rambling and trading on your hospitality." Though he does not, "Thank you for the food and wine, I appreciate it."
    That said he'll make his way back to where he hung up his jacket, securing it over his shoulders and slipping his arms in the sleeves before he says, "Talk to you later, Miss Potts."