1608/The Legion Vs. Garth's Cooking

The Legion Vs. Garth's Cooking
Date of Scene:	23 July 2017
Location:	Unknown
Synopsis:	Summary needed
Cast of Characters:	Lightning Lad, Brainiac 5, Invisible Kid

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Lightning Lad has posed:
    It's like everyone's nightmare. Standing there, looking at the display. "What do you think Mr. Coffee?" Garth asks the device.
    The evil machine counters, "I Think you should be creative. What is the worst that can happen?"
    "Hmm." Garth replies. "What could the harm be?" K.O.K.O goes scurrying for help at that. He starts to tap a few buttons. Winath still cooks most of their food manually. It is all grown there, after all. For a relatively tech savvy individual, Garth can be clueless. It is all order as he taps it in. "How hard can it be?" he asks as he tries to get it to make a burger and fries.

Brainiac 5 has posed:
It's so simple a child could do it. It's literally designed to be so simple that a child could do it. A child could use the Auto-Chef. It's literally images of food on a touchscreen...

The machine goes *BURP* and lets out a truly rancid odor, like a Bismollian Shame Stew.

Which is when Brainy comes walking in. He was going to get something to eat--and he stops, in the doorway.

Invisible Kid has posed:
    Lyle squeezes past Brainy, eyes Mr. Coffee, and decides water sounds just fine right now. And... oh, whatever the machines have made today. Food is a fuel that allows one to spend more time in the lab.
    The 'aroma'? Oh, come on. Lyle's a biochemist. He did worse than that in the lab when he was ten. On purpose. "Carbonized esters and..." he takes another sniff and considers. "sulphurated polyphosphates. I may want a sample of that, Garth. For the lab."
    He pokes a couple buttons, gets water and... braised processed kelp or whatever it is. He barely notices. And a chocolate chip cookie.

Lightning Lad has posed:
    The device burps again, and Garth starts doubling down on stupid. he taps away. "No. it's supposed to be like this." He taps some more yet. tappity tappity tap tap. Mr. Coffee says, ominously, "Yes. More."
    "Real funny. yeah. Garth cannot cook. When you get a load of this? it'll be -epic-." He keeps doubling down on stupid. "This thing should be like a touch screen or something. That would make it so much easier."

Brainiac 5 has posed:
As Brainy approaches, a tendril of his force-field tries to slither around Lyle and make a grab for that cookie. He wrinkles his nose, and then says, "IT DOES HAVE A TOUCH SCREEN, LYLE JUST USED IT--"

Brainy says, "Don't--"

The machine lets out an ominous belch, and then Brainy raises his force-field around himself-- "Oh no."

Invisible Kid has posed:
    Lyle eats the cookie first -- not only is life short and uncertain, but Brainy is not to be trusted around cookies. However, when the food prep system makes that noise, he swiftly gets another cookie from it, then flies, not runs, to bravely hide behind Brainy. "I will give you this cookie if you extend your force field around me," he says, eyeing the machine nervously.

Lightning Lad has posed:
*Ding Ding!* the machine dispenses something putrid. Smoking. Bubbling. Softly twitching as if it is almost alive. It is sitting a perfected toasted and garnished Sesame Seed Bun. the bun somehow makes it all worse, as if it is supposed to be food. It makes it all the more wrong somehow, to be so perfectly displayed. A wonderful presentatin, tastefully garnished. Almost perfectly so, and yet there is a bubbling, smoking, twitching -thing- where the patty would be, draped under a slice of cheese like a blanket. One side ruptures, and a little hazy, malodorous smoke emerges even as green slime rolls out the side.
    Garth makes a face. "that's not right." Mr. Coffee gives a sound that is almost an evil laugh. "Maybe i should jsut have coffee/" Pop! The other side oozes. It might be eating and etching the plate.

Brainiac 5 has posed:
Brainy wrinkles his nose. He approaches, and reaches out with his force-field to pick up the plate and then deposit the whole thing down the molecular decoupler that serves as the cafeteria garbage disposal. Even the decoupler seems to go 'Yuck', and in comic art terms, stench-lines waft up from out of it. Brainy fixes Garth with a look, eyebrows raised, and turns the touchscreen towards him. He taps two buttons... and the machine produces a burger, fries, a neat little paper cup full of ketchup, and another one full of mustard. He offers the tray to Garth, with both hands, and then he turns to order something for himself.

Brainy gets the halal-cart style chicken-derived protein cubes (light on the garlic), a side of yogurt sauce, and a mixed-fruit smoothie. And a vanilla brownie.

Lightning Lad has posed:
    That earns Brainiac a shoulder smack in thanks. "Thanks Brainy!" Garth replies. "That touch screen is a good idea. Glad you installed it." It's always been there!
    "What stinks?" He looks between Lyle and Brainiac.
    Mr. Coffee makes a low sound like a soft, evil chuckle. It provides Garth with his coffee. "thanks Mr. Coffee. He sips his coffee. "Perfect." he says. He moves to take his tray over to a table. "So how are you guys?" He looks recently showered, like he was in the gym. A close look reveals tension in his shoulders. A slight look of fatigue through his features, and a twinge of frustration. 'Anyone seen Imra/" he asks too casually.
    Pathetic.

Invisible Kid has posed:
    Lyle shrugs, and saunters over to sit down with his tray. "Maybe we can do a key-card thing for you, Garth. Just insert a card for what you want. I can't think of a way that could go wr--never mind, I just thought of at least four possible failure modes."
    He shrugs, and tucks into his dinner. "Mmm, remind me to get a small cup of those chicken cubes before I go, I'll need them later."

Brainiac 5 has posed:
"I think he should just log the times he's coming to the comissary and have K.O.K.O. randomly prepare something off his list of favorites." Brainy says. Then he gives Lyle a flat look. "Did you get a pet?" He says, before he takes one on the end of a spork and pops it into his mouth. He chews, slowly, and then looks over to Garth.

He lets out a noise that sounds like a faintly aggrieved grunt. "Lightning Lad, is this sad-eyed mooning over Saturn Girl going to affect your performance as a Legionnaire? Yes or no?"

Lightning Lad has posed:
    "Brainy." Garth replies. "I was saving the galaxy while you were dropping code in the playground." Garth tries not to get pissed. He mostly succeeds. "I'm not mooning over anyone. I don't moon. Ever." He starts to say something to Brainiac. Then his features soften, and he doesn't. Hurting Brainiac would be the wrong thing to do. "Short answer, no. But Ddon't go talking to me like Rokk. It won't get you anywhere. Imra and I are just friends. That is all. Just really ... old friends." He smears ketchup and mustard on his burger.

Brainiac 5 has posed:
"We're the same a--" Brainy begins to say. Then he stops, and pinches the bridge of his nose. No, no... you're the leader, you can do this... just think back on all the lectures you got that you tuned out, Brainy. Blah blah friendship bah blah cooperation blah blah unity blah blah morale blah blah blah...

Invisible Kid has posed:
    Lyle glances sidelong at Garth, then at Brainy, then back to his plate. "A cat," he says simply, and has another sporkful.
    "Well, a kitten. I call her Shadow." Another bite. "Because she's a black cat."
    Another bite.
    "Or at least she was until I gave her some invisibility serum," he says, and gets up to get more water. "So I guess her fur color is actually 'clear' now."

Brainiac 5 has posed:
Brainy chokes on his mouthful of food. Hrrrrrrk -- hack hack! "You did WHAT?"

Lightning Lad has posed:
    "I like kittens." Garth says, hopefully. He looks at Brainiac. "But the invisible part? That's bad. Can you undo it? Maybe we can let you keep it, if you undo it?" he tries to coax Brainiac. "I mean. I can help with a cat. I can't cook, but... while you guys were building warp engines and impulse drive schematics, I was caring for animals on the family farm." He clears his throat. He looks at Brainiac. "It's just a cat." he says quickly.

Brainiac 5 has posed:
Hack hack goes Brainiac. "Systems!" He says, as he goes grabbing for a napkin, "Pathogens! Animals DOING things in hard to find places!" BRAINY has a pet! Livingston the Lionfish! He's in an aquarium in the ready room! He swims slowly, makes no noise, and has agonizingly painful venomous spines all over him. All of those are pluses in Brainy's book.

Invisible Kid has posed:
    Obliviously, Lyle adds, "But don't worry, all her toys and litterbox are on my side of the lab. And she's skittish about new people, so she won't bother you right away."
    He looks up and jogs to the doorway, bending down to pet... well, thin air from the looks of it. "There you are!" He makes to pick her up, then stands up, hands back down at his sides. "Yup. Not social yet," he remarks, looking down the hall, then returns and sits down at his plate.
    Finally he looks up at Brainy. "What?"

Brainiac 5 has posed:
Brainy gives Lyle a dirty look. Then he calls up a holocomputer lens, and begins to sweep the room with it, like Brainy's own personal eye of Sauron.

Lightning Lad has posed:
    "I'm more worried I will kick the invisible kitten." Garth says, trying to cut off a Brain-splosion. 'So maybe we can fix that, and we can get Invisokitty ... visokitty, and all be okay?" He takes a really big bite from the hamburger. "H-how do you get it so good?" he asks, mouth full of burger.

Invisible Kid has posed:
    Brainy's scan will turn up nothing -- of course, the kitten stopped at the door and didn't come in. "Oh, she's very observant, Garth, so I don't think you need to worry about that. And so far she kind of avoids everyone but me." Lyle shrugs. "'Course, I'm the one that feeds her. But I hope to get her fully socialized. I think she'd make a great lab mascot." He favors Brainy with a perfectly innocent smile.

Brainiac 5 has posed:
"I think you're pulling my leg." Brainy says. "And there is no cat. And I'm not going to turn this ship upside down looking for an invisible cat that doesn't *exist*." Brainy sits, and scowls, and eats his food in silence. He's been a little off-balance since the Brainiac thing.

Lightning Lad has posed:
    Garth is quiet. "There's a cat. Lyle doesn't tell tales. Not about the lab." Garth says it quietly. He considers. "Wanna talk, Brainy? I mean... you are acting like me."
    He holds up a hand. "Not trying to be mean. I get snappish if people say Mekt." His right bicep spasms. He ignores it. "So, uhm, be better than me. Tell us what's eating you?" He at least tries.

Invisible Kid has posed:
    Lyle pulls out his omnicom and taps a few keys. "Yup, I am. Sorry, Garth, there is no cat," he says, genuinely apologetically. "But it was worth it for this," he says, and the display shows a security camera view of Brainy in strangulated horror the instant the word 'cat' sunk in. "We're even for the fountain now." Evil grin.

Brainiac 5 has posed:
"No," Brainy says, "He doesn't tell tales. But he does play pranks. On me." Then he says, simply, "Garth, if you would like to get a cat, you're welcome to do so. Just make sure it's got a clean bill of health, that you clean up after it, and that it's got a tracking device on its collar." He finishes his chicken, neatly. "I'm not sure. I think it's a combination of things, such as my emotions running away with me somewhat after a lifetime of keeping them on lockdown." He sighs, slowly. "And on the other hand, I am dealing with the fact that while I am now confident I get the rest of you home, I am not sure that I will be joining you."

Lightning Lad has posed:
    "We are not leaving without the others." Garth says with a certain, well certainty. "and definitely not without you. Andromeda is a good pick to take with you." He chews for a moment. "Maybe you should take me too. Think of it as being smart, and having one over on me when we run into my brother." Another muscle spasm in his right bicep. Garth reaches up to absently rub at it. "Any way to counter the seducto-rays she shoots at men?" Otherwise, he's a dumb one to take, as messed up as he is over someone.
    "Fact of the matter is. I am not leaving without Rokk or Ayla. So... get used to this time period for now. Don't make me fight you over this, Brainy. You'd usually win. You are smarter than I am, but I know I'm right. You know I am too."

Invisible Kid has posed:
    "Yes you will come back with us," Lyle says in an uncharacteristically authoritative tone, looking straight at Brainy, as if he was giving an order. "Booster having your ring means *nothing*. I've explained that. All it means is that one of us has come up with an upgrade and there are new rings, *not* that you've lost yours or... anything else."
    "Besides," he says, getting up and heading for Mr Coffee, which machine judges the young meta's mood correctly and provides Lyle a cup without any attitude, "if *you* don't go back, *I* don't go back. I am *not* leaving you behind. *We* are not leaving you behind."

Brainiac 5 has posed:
Brainy fixes Lyle with a look. "Saying something loudly enough and with enough force is not enough to make it an absolute truth, Lyle! We both know that that ring means there is a statistically significant chance that I don't return home with the rest of you, because I assure you, I would NOT willingly give it up." He shakes his head, slowly.

Then he turns to Garth, and says, "Listen, Lightning Lad. It has been obvious to everyone, including me, and I tried EXCEPTIONALLY hard not to notice OR care, that you fell for her like a rock from the get-go. If you really care about her, it doesn't matter if she reciprocates your feelings, you'll be her friend and look out for her well-being regardless. However, what you owe her is the truth. Especially because we all know she COULD go looking for it, but chooses not to."

He scowls, and says, "Also, your arm is visibly cramping. I'm functioning as de facto ship's physician. I should take a look at it and make sure there are no complications from when the cloned limb was grafted on."

Lightning Lad has posed:
    "Legion forever, Brainiac. That simple. Either we all go home, or none of us go home. If I have to have a mutiny to do it. Well... would not be the first."
    He pauses, "I promise." Garth says, his face looking thunderstruck. "Here inside a week, tops, I will talk to her. I just... need time to not feel." Like a failure. His shoulder cramps up. When your identity is wrapped u in fighting. A bad loss hurts. He shrugs. "It always cramps. Side effects of keeping my powers." he looks aside. "Keep the bionics off me, will you? they... feel like shame."

Brainiac 5 has posed:
"Do you know what my first memory is, Garth?" Brainy begins picking at his brownie with a spork. "It's my mother abandoning me on the day I was born. With one exception, I had no one -- no one at all -- until I was drafted into the Legion. I had convinced myself I was all right going through life alone." He sighs, "I was wrong. I am trying to... unpack emotions I've kept repressed for a very long time."

"I could build you a cybernetic arm that would channel your powers better than your real one ever did. But it's your body, and your choice. Nobody ever thought less of you for the cybernetics except yourself."

Invisible Kid has posed:
    "I can steal that one off you and *don't* *think* *I* *can't* and replace it with one I make tonight if I wanted to and then give the old one to Booster. Problem solved," Lyle says smugly. "Now. You want me to admit that... that the worst is a possibility? Fine! I admit it! It's *possible*. Now *you* admit that it's *not* a certainty!" Lyle jabs a finger at Querl, trying not to be angy, and failing for the most part, so he settles back into his chair and takes a couple deep breaths to regain his composure. "Garth's right," he says, more calmly. "We're all in this together. You're coming back too."

Lightning Lad has posed:
    "I don't want to hold her with a fake arm." Garth answers. It makes sense, if you think about it. "I just.." Garth pauses. "Look it over. It works fine. It just. Anytime we talk about Mekt or..." It cramps up and he rubs it. "It is fine, but you can look at it." His voice is quiet. 'So just, and this is -me- talking. I love you guys. We're family. Just... breath?" He asks. "We'll get through this. I am here, and I will beat the hell out of anyone other than me that pokes fun at you guys." Garth means it. "You are coming ome, Brainy. Failure is not an option."

Brainiac 5 has posed:
Brainy looks down, and picks at his brownie. Pick, pick, pick. "Probably mostly psychosomatic, with some stress. Muscle relaxers when you're off-duty, massage, those should both help." Pick, pick, pick. He's embarassed.

Invisible Kid has posed:
    Lyle looks at Garth. Something about that phrase, don't want to hold her with a fake arm. Leaving Brainy to sort through his emotions -- don't press, that'll make things worse, Brainy's smart and will come to the right conclusion -- he offers, "I... *we* can make sure the biochemical balance is correct in the lab, Garth. I wouldn't want to hold... I wouldn't either."

Lightning Lad has posed:
    That brawny right arm leans over to wrap around Brainiac in a tight, fast hug. "Right." he agrees. "But you wanted to take a look. You will take a look." He lets go of the other young man. "Maybe you could prescribe some massage?" he starts to stand up. "Don't tell Imra. I promised I will pull the trigger. I will." He gives Lyle a smile. "I appreciate it. My brother is a jerk. A giant. Space. Jerk." There is a tremble in it. "I am lucky. I have brothers and sisters in the Legion. It is okay, little brothers. We got this." He puts a little more certainty into his voice than he feels. A little brash can help.

Brainiac 5 has posed:
Brainy actually consents to this, when once upon a time he would've done his level best to try to grow spikes. "This has not been an easy time for me." He murmurs. "Don't worry, I can give K.O.K.O. some stimulation techniques that should help relax the cramping. That's not difficult at all." Then he says, "As for Brainiac--as I said, that's family business. It's an obligation, a duty I can't set down. Just like my codename -- it's not an honorific, it's a reminder of what I'm capable of. But, it's nice to know there are others willing to help you carry the burden."

Invisible Kid has posed:
    "And if *anyone* knows how to drive a Brainiac to distraction, *I* do," Lyle says proudly, smiling genuinely. "We got this. And when have we *not* all carried the load for each other? That's the whole point of us, isn't it?"

Lightning Lad has posed:
    "Yeah. The monkey. That is exactly who I wanted to give me a massage. Brainy, you are the dumbest smart guy." he gives a little wink and a grin. He moves on over to buss his tray. "I'll be in the gym." He says. His grin is warm. "Use me. I have been doing this for awhile. I'm not a complete screw up."

Brainiac 5 has posed:
Brainy tilts his head at Garth, and then says, "What...?" He shakes his head, as if momentarily puzzling over something. Then he says, with a bit more confidence, "Please submit a list of your favorite dishes, and I'll program K.O.K.O. to supply them to you randomly at mealtimes. I'd hate for another Auto-Chef incident on the ship since we don't have Chuck to help fix it."

Lightning Lad has posed:
    "Yeah yeah yeah. I will write a memo." Garth says with a little smile. "Gonna work out now. I have talked about feelings too much." He gives a winning little smile.

Invisible Kid has posed:
    "Or Tenzil," Lyle adds. "As long as we know what we're doing, we can probably Garth-proof the autochef. Maybe. For a little while."

Brainiac 5 has posed:
Brainy grabs his smoothie and gets up to discard what's left of his meal. "I think he was asking you to give him a massage." Brainy says, to Lyle. "I told you, people are attracted to you, Invisible Kid." His mood may have improved, just a touch.

Lightning Lad has posed:
    "You stink." Garth playfully growls as he steps on out.