1643/Not Quite Avon Calling

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Not Quite Avon Calling
Date of Scene: 25 July 2017
Location: Wayne Manor
Synopsis: Selina visits Wayne Manor, catches Alfred instead of Bruce, and learns of 4-ply toilet paper. Really.
Cast of Characters: Alfred Pennyworth, Catwoman




Alfred Pennyworth has posed:
     It's early evening and the sun hangs low in the sky. Birds chirp in the trees, and clouds list lazily overhead. The chill of a summer evenings air breezes along carrying with it small lumps of pollen which land on various lawns.

     One such lawn in particular is that of Stately Wayne manor, a place which has gained itself quite the name over the last several years with the return of Bruce Wayne to its hallowed halls. In front of the massive brick structure a simplistic black car sets parked. The back door is left open and an elderly man in a black suit stands filling his arms with groceries fresh for the day.

     "Another glorious day living the life." He says to himself while picking up the thick paper bags filled to the brim with groceries of all kinds.

     Up the steps there's already a small collection of groceries sat beside the doorway, in their brown paper bags. For one household to require this many groceries is no small feat, but then again one can only buy the absolute best of the best.

Catwoman has posed:
A limo makes the approach through the wooded areas of Crest Hill, passing other properties worth millions as it nears one in particular: Wayne Manor.

The vehicle turns in to pass each of the seven old oaks before slowing to a stop near the car Alfred is in the process of unloading, transporting its contents to a staging area prior to bringing them inside the mansion itself.

The windows of the limo are tinted such that it's impossible to see who's inside, or how many. This would be quite a way for a gang to launch an attack on the place. Open the doors, pile out with submachineguns going 'buddabuddabudda,' leave the butler and anyone else around a bloody mess.

Instead, a single door is cracked open, the inhabitant not even waiting for the driver to come around and get it. The first sight is a modest heel, then another, and Selina Kyle steps out before adjusting a businesslike black skirt and coat.

"Alfred!" she smiles, shutting the door behind her before stepping closer at a brisk pace. "Here, let me help you with the groceries. How are you doing?" The woman is wearing a pair of stylish sunglasses even in the dimming light, not yet removed as she seems insistent upon getting bags of food and other items in both arms.

Whether or not she actually owns the limo, who cares? Some things are all about appearances.

Alfred Pennyworth has posed:
     From the other side of the vehicle all that's visible is alfred conducting business as usual, with a slight pause to place the brown bag on-top of the car. Pitch black tinted windows were never a good sign.

     Even as the foot comes out he looks over with that somewhat modest expression of harmlessness. Then he recognizes the woman. "Ah, Miss Kyle!" A light smile crossing his usually rather stoic face, as one hand goes right back to holding the groceries allowing the suit jacket to fall back into place out of view.

     Once more the pitch black leather strap holding a holstered Walther PPK is hidden having been covered by clever placement of grocery bags from the moment the limo had come into view. The actual holster itself is an under arm holster with a matching twin on the other side for good measure. Both are perfectly hidden once more by the thick more down-dressed grocery outfit that he's wearing.

     By the time she's moved over the jacket is rebuttoned, and Alfred is holding onto one of the last four bags of groceries remaining. "I must admit it is a pleasant surprise for you to come out this way." He pauses for a second. "Might I be one to assume the nature of your visit to be more then simply helping an old man with his groceries?"

Catwoman has posed:
Whether or not Selina picked up on the momentary guardedness from the butler, it wouldn't surprise her given what she knows of one of his past roles across the Atlantic. Even if she did spot the careful reaching for the gun, she shows no sign of it one way or another.

"It's good to see you again! I know I haven't been around much lately, but life goes by so quickly and it's so hard to break away from the insanity sometimes. I'm sure you know how it is, keeping this place running while Bruce is off doing who knows what, am I right?" Selina is all bubbles and cheer this evening, from the look and sound of it.

She hoists a couple bags into her arms, nodding toward the the back. "Over there? I saw you coming over from that way. And can't a lady come by to lend a hand once in a while?" She doesn't immediately go into the reason for her stopping by. She'll let him poke and prod just a bit more, if it's in his nature to. If it isn't? She'll just explain anyway.

Alfred Pennyworth has posed:
     "Yes, and England is off the coast of Australia." A deadpan joke delivered as Alfred moves, shutting the door on the now empty pitch black car. A quick click of something in his pocket sends the car a single beep doors locking into place. He then begins the way back to place the groceries with the others so they can be carried back into the kitchen. "Don't exactly take you for the sort Miss.Kyle."

     His stride is a slow but steady one as he moves, attention off ahead with that stoic look across his face he's seemingly always got on. Very much the stereotypical butler in almost every single regard, except well the background in the secret service.

     "Not to offend of course." Setting down the groceries into place with a bit of poise and posture as he slides them back along the floor.

     The kitchen is in extremely good condition, with a mix of the latest and greatest cooking implements and plenty of the old classics. Full sets of chefs knives, and vintage cooking implements of all styles. There's even a full sized pot almost large enough to bake a full cow if needed, and enough grocery bags to restock the whole place.

Catwoman has posed:
"Only by a little bit, and with a few things in between, but technically you could say that's true," Selina replies to his dry jape, playing along as seems suitable for her.

Then she asks, "You don't mind if the car stays there for now, do you? I didn't plan on being here too long, arriving unannounced like this. I know you're a busy man, Bruce as well, but I was in the area and I thought I'd swing by." In the event any surveillance is done on the limo, or has already been done, it and the driver will check out as completely normal and mundane as far as these things are concerned.

"And none taken," the visitor confirms as Alfred clarifies himself for her. "I suppose I don't pull off 'random grocery lady to the rich' very well, do I? It's a tough act. Actually...where /is/ Bruce? Is he already downtown getting ready for another party? I was hoping to catch him. I was in Denver for a few days. There's this sanctuary outside the city for wild animals. They rescue them from these filthy roadside tourist traps and other places, they give them lots of open space to roam, and it just seems like the perfect thing to hold an event for to get some more money their way."

Alfred Pennyworth has posed:
     Alfred begins the slow process of movig groceries into the fridge and cabinets for later use in cooking. For all of his actions and activities it seems every madness here has a method to it, every can and box a place set aside for it. "Of course, there's no trouble for it."

     Everything was being checked double checked and tripple checked of course. It came with the territory. Even as Alfred spoke the microcommunicator in his ear was sending information right back to him, on the driver, the vehicle and even on his driving record, just in case.

     "I believe Master Bruce was getting ready for a fresh night on the town." Alfred comments while placing away various broth materials in one section and flours for making home made noodles in another. There's very little if anything anywhere here that's 'pre made' just ingredients to make things from scratch. It's a mystical thing really in the modern age of quick meals at low prices.

     "You know how he gets" There's a long pause as he double checks the chicken to make absolutely certain it can hang properly in the station for tonight's dinner. "For a man who holds all the time and money in the world the former seems to elude his all too busy schedule."

Catwoman has posed:
Selina Kyle pitches in by arranging groceries on the counter or a tabletop relative to their purpose: foods needing to be frozen, foods needing to be refrigerated, boxes, cans, and so on. Then, other things including detergents, soaps, toiletries.

"Two-ply. Thank goodness," she quips. "Imagine if the tabloids caught wind that Bruce Wayne, of all people, was a single-ply guy. Gotham City would implode on itself, I think."

Upon being told that, indeed, Bruce was prepping for something, she perks up. "Oh? Has he left yet, or is he still about? Either way, I'm sure I can find him soon. You really ought to see the place, Alfred. They have these observation decks where you can look at the big cats - they have lions and tigers, some panthers too along with other animals - but you can see them from the platforms without bothering them, and they have all the room they need instead of being cramped up in a filthy cage, never able to live the way they're meant to. Some of the stories are heartbreaking when you think about what they're being saved from."

Alfred Pennyworth has posed:
     As alfred bags the groceries meant for the various bathrooms it would become clear that he's putting two ply in a bag for the guest bathroom and 4 ply for the others. The existence of 4 ply is something that just goes to show the level of wealth when dealing with the Waynes.

     "I'm certain it's a simply lovely place Miss Kyle" Alfred concurs while making sure to scribble a quick label on each bag which is going to be leaving the kitchen for another room. The procedures one goes through in order to keep a home happy and functional are seemingly endless. "However, I'm not entirely sure if Master Wayne has left already, though I know his schedule is rather packed for today."

Catwoman has posed:
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I let myself get carried away and I was just going on and on about it, wasn't I, and you don't even decide on what Bruce will support or not," Selina says, sounding apologetic enough.

Then she spots the more luxurious brand of toilet paper. "What is that? I didn't know they even made it that way. It must be org.." She catches herself just in time to correct what she was about to finish saying. "..heavenly. Yes, heavenly. Cover your eyes, so you don't see me sneaking off with a pack."

Who thought Alfred Pennyworth and Selina Kyle would be discussing the layers in toilet paper?

It does look like she's only joking in the end, for she waves him off even if he offers her a pack. "If there's a better time, I can always make an appointment. I'd like to think he'd always make a few minutes for me, though. We do get on well, but it would also allow us all the chance for some proper tea, wouldn't it?"

Alfred Pennyworth has posed:
     What follows for the two is a rather quiet evening of chatting and drinking of coffee, and tea. Conversations drift from one topic to the next, food is made, and then served. In the end with heads filled with conversations and delicious scratch made food, the two wind up parting ways.

    The realization having set in that it seems Bruce has been missed in the chaos of an evening leading to a bout of waiting chatting and organizing before Alfred parts ways to carry out his home care activities.