2979/The Special Balls

The Special Balls
Date of Scene:	26 October 2017
Location:	Unknown
Synopsis:	Summary needed
Cast of Characters:	Gambit, Shadowcat, Pixie

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Gambit has posed:
Place: Mutant Town
Time: Right Before Supper

"Man... I'm gonna miss supper. This is some bullllshit."

There is an extremely long list of negatives associated with belonging to the X-Men, but one of the items near the very tippy top of said list is definitely the 'Surprise Missions' that only ever seem to pop up right around meal times. Like all the other 'Surprise Missions', this one is supposedly super important, and only the X-Men are equipped to save the poor civilians from being ravaged by... whatever nefarious forces are at work. Gambit doesn't actually remember the hasty mission briefing, he was half asleep. He vaguely remembers something about a local businessman calling about a 'Mutant Emergency'.

Trying to ignore the rumbling in his stomach like the true hero that he is, Gambit hits the switch on the wall that opens up The Blackbird's rear door/ramp. As the ramp starts to lower, Gambit walks down it, descending along with it so that his foot hits the ground as soon as the ramp hits the gravel with a dull 'thud.'

Looking around, he takes stock of the situation through partially-squinted eyes. Mutant Town is as big a dump as ever, but they seem to have landed The Blackbird in the actual dump. The bird seems stable for now, but the gravel and garbage beneath it don't make for the most stable of foundations. They're probably not allowed to park a military-grade aircraft there... but it's not like anybody cares what happens in Mutant Town. Other than like... Multiple Man, for some reason.

As the X-Men begin exiting the aircraft, the sound of frantic footsteps can be heard from not too far off in the distance. A short, rotund mutant with a bald head and a tentacle mustache (you read that right) is racing toward The Blackbird as fast as his stubby little legs will carry him.

"Hurry X-Men! Hurry! It's-a ME! The guy who called! It's-a Mutant Emergency! It's-a The Brotherhood! Hurry! Hurry!"

A frown settles across Gambit's stubbly face, and the space between his eyes creases noticeably.

"Man... I shoulda stayed in Hell."

Shadowcat has posed:
'Surprise Mission' -- right. Did NOT miss those while she was in England. But turning up at the Blackbird in full gear to find Remy standing there... Shadowcat visibly paled and were it not for the fact that other X-Men have come back from the dead before, she might have flat-out fainted. But it's not exactly completely unheard of around here, so aside from quietly welcoming the man home, Kitty climbed on board the plane in something of a daze. She'll have to deal with the "surprise" part of the surprise mission later.

As they come down the ramp and some guy who sounds sort of like Jar-Jar Binks hails them, the slender ninja-assassin-trained brunette pauses and groans slightly. "Seriously?" The Brotherhood. Why are they always stirring stuff up at dinner time?

To Gambit, however, she comments, "Hell is not better than Limbo, is it? Cuz if it is, I gotta get Yana to upgrade."

Pixie has posed:
Megan Gwynn is new to this whole thing. Surprise missing. "Alright, I suppose..." Rapidly changing into something more suitable for a mission than socialization, she takes flight to come along. "It's a who? Mario?" she mutters where only Kitty and Remy will hear. "This week I've already had an alien take me into a Robin Hood story. I do not need to deal with Bowser after the Sheriff of Nottingham."

Gambit has posed:
"It's like my boy Jughead said... Hell is other people."

It's not actually a Jughead Quote, it was a Jughead Requote. But it's not like Gambit has ever read a book. Or... googled the original source of a quote.

But there's no time for chit chat, not when there's a Mutant Emergency! Running to try and keep up with the surprisingly fast little man, Gambit is suddenly reminded of all the cigarettes he's smoked over the past decade. It's as if he can feel the tar from each and every one of them coating all those little...

He suddenly realizes that he doesn't know what the little goobers inside the lungs are called.

"Hol' up! I can't be runnin' like this! I got a doctor note!" He's taken less than twenty steps, and already he's holding his side in anticipation of the cramp that he's sure to have before he's taken his fortieth step.

Fortunately, they don't have far to go...

"Mama mia! They're-a still inside!" The little guy with the tentacle 'stache puts both of his pudgy hands on top of his bald head in a show of extreme exasperation. He leads the group toward a building very close to where The Blackbird landed (how's that for autopilot?). It's a smallish brick building, or more accurately, one CORNER of a smallish brick building. Part of the lowermost floor of said building is a restaurant, if the sign out front is to be believed.

"Ye Olde Mutant Towne Meatball Shoppe? The hell are the Brotherhood doing attacking a place like this?"

Gambit pauses outside the front, catching his breath and fumbling in his pocket for his deck of cards. "Damn. I only got like five cards left. Either of you ladies got like... some flashcards or something? You're both in college, right?"

Cleary, Gambit has never gone to college, but we already knew that about him, and we accept him anyway.

Shadowcat has posed:
Kitty jogs along with the spry little guy, snorting at Gambit's whining about the running. "Don't let Cyke hear you huffing like that -- he'll make you do laps the whole day!" she observes.

Staring at the Meatball Shoppe, Kitty just looks.... at a loss. "Nope, no flashcards," she replies absently. "Lemme go check and see what they're doing." She phases into the ground and out of sight, presumably to peek up out of the floor of the shop to spy on what the Brotherhood is in there doing!

Pixie has posed:
Megan Gwynn flies along, so she has the easiest time of all, and in fact has the ohold back so the she goes at the same rate as the others.

"The only school I'm in is magic school, and that's more of a practical education. No flashcards, sorry sir." She smirks. "Let me look on the roof and from up high to see if there are any clues?" She'll then do just that: shooting straight up to get a better view.

Gambit has posed:
"Huh. I don't hear any... like... Brotherhood noises." Gambit looks suspiciously at the little man as Shadowcat valiantly heads into the building to do recon. As Pixie takes off, he takes a few steps to his right to avoid getting caught in the cloud of Pixie dust she leaves behind. Not that he'd mind an LSD trip right now, he kind of already feels like he's in the middle of one.

The little guy looks a tiny bit guilty, staring down as his disproportionately large feet. Well... you see... what had happened was..."

Inside the restaurant, two members of The Brotherhood are sitting at the family-sized table dead in the center of the restaurant. You'd think that two Brotherhood members could probably take one of the smaller booths on the side, but The Blob doesn't really fit inside conventional restaurant booths. Indeed, he's not really 'sitting' at the table, so much as sitting on the floor in front of the table. He's still head, shoulders, chest, and mid-gut above the table though, huge as he is.

At the other end of the table, Toad has a giant meatball balled up in either fist. He throws one into Blob's open mouth, getting sauce all over the place with a sickening 'SPLAT!'

"Three hundred and SIX!"

He tosses the other one, again hitting Blob square in the mouth.

"Three hundred and SEVEN!"

Outside, the little restaurant owner explains.

"Thursday is-a 'All You Can Eat Meatballs Day'... but these-a two gentleman are clearly violating the spirit of the offer, if not necessarily the 'letter' of it..."

Shadowcat has posed:
Kitty watches.... rather horrified.... and phases back out of the building and up into sight. "Uh... Gambit? I don't think we've got anything approaching an emergency here. Toad appears to be feed Blob meatballs. I mean... it's kinda gross and messy, but...." She trails off, looking between the Cajun and the restaurant owner. "I don't think they're actually doing anything we can make them stop doing."

Pixie has posed:
Megan Gwynn drops back down slowly. Just in time to hear the summary of what's going on. She covers her mouth, and giggles. Not quite landing on the ground, she shakes her head. "Well this sucks. But you know, if the owner of the place kicks them out, it might BE trouble. So maybe um... we can just go in there... and let the owner close up, and sort of... hopefully make it peaceful?"

Gambit has posed:
"Dude... how does this qualify as a mutant emergency? And... hang on... where did your accent go?" The red in Gambit's eyes is extremely pronounced at the moment, as he's practically glowing with anger. To think that he got interrupted in the middle of his beer for this.

"What? It helps sell meatballs! Why are YOU doing a fake accent?" The little guy folds his arms defiantly, and the tentacles hanging from just below his nose cross each other as well. Some people get stuck with really crummy mutations.

"I don't got an accent! I'm just from NaWullins, this is... stop changing the subject! Come on ladies, we leavin..."

Gambit turns to leave, his coat billowing dramatically from the breeze his sudden movement generates. But before he can take more than two steps, the little guy has already grabbed him by the leg, holding on for dear life.

"PLEASE! You've gotta help me! If they don't stop eating, I'm gonna go broke! Then I'll have to fire my dishwasher, and Kevin doesn't have any other marketable skills!"

Shadowcat has posed:
Kitty scratches the back of her head, looking rather nonplussed. This is kind of outside her job description. "Uhm... mister? We can't just make your customers go away because you don't like that they're taking you up on the offer." She bites her lip. "Can we?" She looks toward Gambit, completely out of her depth on this. Yeah, they're villains, but...

Pixie has posed:
Megan Gwynn folds her arms. "To be honest, i think we may be assuming too much. For all we know, if the restaurant closes, and just stops serving meatballs today, then maybe they'll just leave and find a new place to botehr." Sighing softly. "And then we should get our own plate of meatballs as a thank you for coming."

Gambit has posed:
"Please! Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease...." The little guy is all manner of pathetic, but he clearly DOES need help, even if his problem is kind of... beneath the X-Men's jurisdiction.

One of Gambit's fingerless glove-wearing hands is raised to pinch the bridge of his nose. His eyes close for a couple of seconds, and he takes a deeeep breath. After exhaling, he takes another one for good measure.

"Okay. Okay! FINE! WE'LL HELP!"

Gambit kicks his leg free, and tries to quickly reclaim his dignity. It's tough to do when a short guy with a tentacle mustache is getting tears on your pants leg.

"Blob and Toad are assholes. We ain't gonna let 'em ruin this guy's bidness, even though you shoulda called SHIELD..."

Straightening the lapels of his coat, Gambit's exasperated expression slowly starts to morph into a stubbly grin.

"Besides, I think I know a way to get 'em out of here without making a mess."

With one of his hands in his pocket, and the other on the doorknob, Gambit takes yet another deep breath, turns the knob, and opens the door.

Almost immediately, Blob looks down from his vantage point behind the table and raises both of his arms.

"HEEEEEEEY! Look who it..."

He gets cut off by a meatball splatting right on his face.

"DAMMIT TOAD! I WASN'T READY! YOU MADE ME LOOK STUPID!"

Shadowcat has posed:
Riiiiiight. Because Dukes needs an excuse to look stupid. Kitty exchanges a glance with Pixie and murmurs, "Careful -- they're a bit more dangerous than you might think." Then she follows Gambit through the door, edging to one side. If he's gonna pick a fight with the Blob, she supposes she can't let him go alone.

Pixie has posed:
Megan Gwynn snorts, looking to the other two. Arms still folded, it's clear that Gambit's complaints actually convinced HER, even if Gambit himself has decdied to go ahead with this situation.

"At least there's no fire breathing turtle dragon involved." she chuckles. Staying behind and to the side of Gambit, she's there to back him up, but definitely letting him take the lead.

Gambit has posed:
"Oh, come on now Blob... you don't look stupid a'tall. In fact, you look downright sexy eatin' alla that meat. Don't he look sexy, girls?"

Gambit's tone is somehow both unctuous and affable, as if he's skirting the line between gentle ribbing and genuine flattery. Whatever he's doing, it's making Blob crack a somewhat bashful smile.

"There you go... look at that smile." As he continues walking toward the table, Gambit's thick Cajun drawl breaks into a surprisingly heartfelt song. "Sexy man... sexy man... eatin' like a sexy man can..."

Toad starts cracking up, and soon so does Blob.

Blob wipes his face on his bare arm, leaving a long streak of marinara sauce intermingled with his arm hairs. "Speaking of turtles... Where's the shitter? I gotta giant turtlehead pokin' out!" He says this in a terrible fake Scottish accent, as he riffs on Gambit's obvious (if dated...) Austin Powers joke.

Even Gambit can't help but laugh. You'd think that he was actually an old friend who'd accidentally bumped into them, rather than an extremely peeved con man who would much rather be back at his place having a beer.

"Oh... you two. Such charmin' scoundrels. Ain't they charmin' scoundrels, girls?"

Shadowcat has posed:
Shadowcat's eyes are VERY wide. Because.... eew. Oh my god, EEEW!!! She has to swallow hard when Blob makes his retort because that's just flat-out nasty. Truly disgusting. "Uh-huh," she gulps at Gambit. "Sure thing, charming." She might barf. Having ZERO clue what Remy has up his sleeve here, Kitty just goes along for the ride.

Pixie has posed:
Megan Gwynn takes another slow breath. As the conversation gets allt he more disgusting, she fades back. Staying put, hoverimg. She's watching Gambit, and trying her best not to look at the others. Or listen to them if she can manage it. "I hope this is fast..." she murmurs to Shadowcat.

Gambit has posed:
"It's funny runnin' into you guys. Dude outside was whining up a storm and I was like... 'I bet it's Blob and Toad!' Haha! It's like that time at Cici's Pizza all over again!"

Toad continues laughing, marinara sauce all the way up to his elbows by now. "They never see us coming! You can't keep criminal masterminds like us from exploiting the system!"

Blob responds, with a mouth full of meatballs. "Yeah... we're criminal masterminds." Bits of meatball go all over the place as he talks.

Fortunately, Gambit is just out of the range of Blob's spittle. He looks pretty nonplussed by the whole display. A bit... bemused even.

"Damn straight you're criminal masterminds. Which is why I'm sure you already found where he hid the Special Meatballs."

Blob and Toad look at each other, then look back at the three heroes. "What special meatballs?"

Gambit looks at Pixie, then at Shadowcat, as if he's a bit taken aback. "You girls remember where the little dude told us he hid his special batch? He was all... 'I just hope they don't find the Extra Spicy Meatballs I hid in the kitchen!' To hear him tell it, those meatballs are made with some kind of super expensive pepper that comes from a tree that only blooms once a century. The only way to get 'em is through the Sharper Image catalogue."

Blob and Toad look at each other again, clearly interested. "Only through the Sharper Image catalogue? Like Trump Steaks?"

Gambit nods slowly. "Exactement! Like Trump Steaks! Hey Pixie... do you think maybe you could go in the kitchen and see if you can't find a pot of the Special Meatballs for our good friends here?"

Shadowcat has posed:
A pot of what? Kitty gives Gambit side-eyes. He's pretty much lost it. She's sure of it. "But Gambit... if we let THEM have the meatballs, then we don't get any," she points out. "And you did promise we could have a picnic." Or something. In the dark. "A Halloween treat -- picnic in the park down the street! I was really looking forward to it. You promised ghost stories."

Because.... what the heck is she talking about? Even Kitty has no clue.

Pixie has posed:
Megan Gwynn does her best to put on a fake smile as this is going on. "Special.. meatballs..." she then lets out a genuine sigh, but not for the reason he's thinking. "Fine. But you owe me..." the girl then slowly floats out of the main room, going toward the kitchen. "If you insist..."

Once out of sight, she grabs a tray of meatballs still being prepared for service, and well, reaches back to hold it beneath her wings, for a heavy dusting. Heavy. Dusting. All over the floor now even...

"Careful, this tray is hot... stay back." she says as she does, very carefully, bring it toward Gambit.

Gambit has posed:
"Dayum! They even SMELL spicy from all the way over here..." Gambit settles comfortably into his role as pitch man for the world's least attractive product, being careful not to ham it up TOO much. It's pretty easy though since, after all, Blob and Toad are both incredibly stupid.

"What was it that the guy said about the meatballs? Something about the pepper making 'em super filling? I don't understand how any of that science and stuff works, to be honest. But Shadowcat here went to college, maybe she can explain it?"

Taking the tray from Megan, Gambit sets it down on the table in front of the two miscreants, looking back expectantly at Kitty.

Shadowcat has posed:
Science babble. He wants her to science babble them. "Well, it has to do with the amount capsaicin -- that's what makes pepper spicy," Kitty begins, obliging him. "The hotter something it, the less it takes to fill up your stomach because the spice itself tells all your nerve endings in the stomach that you're full." She sage-nods.

Pixie has posed:
Megan Gwynn backs off as soon as she hands off the tray. floating back slowly. "These are, honestly, the spiciest meatballs I've ever dealt with. I wouldn't even eat one unless... um... well I was really prepared not to do anything else that night. You boys better only have one each or you might have trouble."

Gambit has posed:
"You heard the little lady. Might want to just nibble off a corner or somethin' to start off with. Better play it safe, right?"

Gambit steps away from the table, as if he's trying to put some distance between himself and something extremely dangerous.

This only makes Blob laugh derisively. "Yeah, sorry if I don't take advice on eating from a guy with a hollow chest, Pepe Le Douche." He laughs at his witticism, and grabs the biggest meatball on the tray, hastily stuffing it into his mouth.

Toad looks a bit more nervous, but clearly doesn't want to let on that he has a few misgivings about the whole affair. "Yeah... Pepe Le Douche." Repeating Blob's insult, he flicks his tonge out and snatches one of the smaller meatballs off of the tray.

"DAYUM! Look at you two... hardened criminals. I do believe that's the most impressive display of culinary bravado I've seen since that time we dared Toad to eat that cat litter."

Toad looks proud of himself. "I didn't even gag once."

Stepping back a few more paces, Gambit continues to talk, his voice slow, calming, almost... melodic? "I bet you're feeling that spice right about now though, right boys? It's probably burning' the back of your throat somethin' fierce."

Clawing at their throats suddenly, both Blob and Toad seem to wish they had remembered to get some water.

"But all that starts to fade as it slides down your throat, and you can feel them meatballs getting heavier and heavier by the minute. It's like that... camspacin is just expanding and expanding... fillin' your stomach up so much you think it's gonna bust open."

Toad looks down at his stomach, clearly freaking out. "He's right! Look Blob, it's like I gotta Food Baby!"

Shadowcat has posed:
It's at this point that Kitty can't even. To stop herself from laughing at the absurdity of all this, she is forced to phase through the wall behind her so that she can get back out onto the street and laugh herself silly.

Pixie has posed:
Megan Gwynn turns around now seeing Kitty leave. "Wait, I'm hungry, don't you go try to make another batch without me.." Unable to go through the wall, she instead pushes open the door to peek outside and see what Kitty's doing. Holding the door open for Gambit to make an exit, should he need to.

Gambit has posed:
"And right about now you should be gettin' sleepy. Betcha wanna just... lay on down and have yourselves a nice long nap?"

There's a soft thud, followed by a much much louder thud, as Toad passes out, followed soon by Blob. Within moments, the two of them are balls deep in some seriously trippy Pixie Dust-induced nightmares.

While Blob snores, Toad waves a hand sleepily in front of his face. "Hello Mr. Whiskers... what did you leave in the tray for me today?"

As Gambit follows his fellow X-Men outside the meatball shop, he's got the expression of someone who just did something really... dirty? He's not sure that the good guys won today, suffice it to say.

Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out a tiny slab of techno-doodadery, and speaks directly into it. "Hey Fury, I left something for you at this GPS marker. You're gonna need a forklift to pick it up though."

Putting the phone(?) back in his pocket, he looks at the restaurant's proprietor with a mixture of distaste and pride. "Your little problem's all sorted out, Beau. Don't ever say the X-Men never did nothing for you."

Then, with his hands in the pockets of his oversized trench coat, he starts walking off in the direction of The Blackbird.