4425/Stop me if you've heard this one, but a butler, a P.A., and a student walk into a bar....

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Stop me if you've heard this one, but a butler, a P.A., and a student walk into a bar....
Date of Scene: 10 May 2018
Location: Gotham City
Synopsis: Our heroes went to a mugging and an autograph session broke out.
Cast of Characters: Spider-Man, Mariam O'Shea, Hulk




Spider-Man has posed:
Gotham City was an experience. It was also in New Jersey. If it weren't for that simple fact, it might almost be nice, in that weird, eerie gothic appearance. Randall was a weird community of Gotham. Not many skyscrapers. Peter Parker kind of hated it here. It had this weird vibe. Everyone was unusually polite, especially for New Jersey, and he had hear rumours that it was under mob protection.

It made being Spider-Man here hard. A lot of people wouldn't even complain, officially, when something bad happened here. They'd just do whatever necessary to stay alive, and then tell their mob contact about it and it would be resolved. Even the police seemed to respect this place.

He was currently eating a bagel near the edge of Channel Park, and it was leaving a foul taste in his mouth. "They call this a bagel?" He said aloud, and began looking for a wastebin. It wasn't even worth finishing the darned thing. Across the street, he could see two men, sitting in a car with the motor running. That was curious. They were parked, weren't on their phones, jsut sitting there... with the engine running.


Mariam O'Shea has posed:
    On a nearby bench is another figure, also with a bagel in hand. Only Mariam is actually quite pleased, unlike the tourist. She was prim and proper, her usual preference when she was out and about. Her redhair was pulled into a tight bun at the nape of her neck. The gray suit she wore was tailored and fit perfectly, the A-line skirt allowing freedom of movement. The white shirt beneath was pressed and perfect. A red tie completed the look. Business formal. Short heels were worn but didn't keep her from doing her job when needed. A pair of round, mirrored sunglasses hid her eyes from view.
    Only today her boss was out and about somewhere in his other identity. So she had some time to herself. Thus the bagel and cup of iced coffee sitting next to her on the bench.
    Behind those glasses, she took note of that car across the way and frowned slightly. Having been in the business for some time, she had a bad feeling about this.

Hulk has posed:
It isn't often that one Bruce Banner comes to New Jersey. Today is one of those days.

A colleague had asked for a consultation, and Bruce liked him enough to chance the trip... so off he went onto public transport, and off that bus he goes as he steps off just down the block from Peter and Mariam, stepping into a side alley to change clothing.

What works in New York... doesn't in New Jersey, and so forth.

What he doesn't count on are the gangbangers who stake out the street and the bus, figuring Bruce for an easy mark.

While he's in the middle of changing his shirt, three hoodlums come up to him, pulling a knife. As he puts the shirt on, Bruce freezes, "Please don't hurt me. I don't have much." When it becomes clear they're going to be aggressive though... that knife being jussled in his direction, "HELP, I'M BEING MUGGED!" Bruce yells. The voice is clearly Bruce Banner... and very, very calm in comparison to the content of the shout.

But then, when you're trying not to break Gotham. Again...

Spider-Man has posed:
The two men in the idling car were trying to keep an eye on a building across the street, but they weren't doing anything yet. In fact, a person came up to them, some random woman, who knocked on the window, trying to get the passenger to roll down his window, "excuse me sir, but are you going to be here long? My husband is circling the block trying to find a parking spot." The man in the passenger seat said in a gruff, noncommittal voice, "beat it toots."

The guys in the car had set off Peter's spider sense, or at least he thought they were the cause, but that was pretty low key. Whatever they were up to, it wasn't imminent. And then, as the bus clears out and Bruce Banner heads to change clothes, Peter's sense goes wild. He drops the bagel on the ground, feeling a little upset about littering, but he'd come back to it later. Time was of the essence. He darted to an alleyway, and was thankful for the thousandth time that his sense could be triggered by electronic scanning devices.

It was such a life and identity saver, that he could change in an alleyway without worrying about a security camera catching him in his underwear or anything like that. He quickly changed into his spider suit, webbed his backpack with his other clothes to a nice hiding place, out of sight, and crawled, heading up the building.

A moment later, he hears the cry for help, and dangles down, "did I hear someone was being mugged, or is that just the way people in New Jersey say hello. If so, help, I'm being mugged to you, and you, and hey, aren't you Dr. Bruce Banner. Would it be wrong of me to ask for an autograph?"


Mariam O'Shea has posed:
    At the cry, Mariam's attention is torn from the idling car to the sound of the voice. She looks sharply back to the car.
    "Ignore it," she mutters to herself softly, mostly under her breath. "You aren't a hero. Phone it in to the cops." She doesn't even reach for her phone. She knows this area is the territory of the Russian mob for the most part. And sadly, there were some crooked cops on the payroll and this area was prime for them. They respected the mob's place and, if that was mob people doing the mugging, they wouldn't interfere. While she hadn't worked for the Russians, the Italians had been much the same way in their areas.
    "Dammit." She stood, dropping her bagel and coffee cup into a nearby trash can as she started toward the alley at a run. She came skidding to a stop at the entrance to the alley at about the point Spider-Man appeared.

Hulk has posed:
"You've heard of me? Well, you know why this is a horrible idea all around, then." Bruce answers Spider-Man as Bruce backs up into a wall, visibly keeping himself under control as the hoodlums turn to regard Spider-Man. One of them pulls a .38 revolver, "This isn't your turf, bug. Go back to New York with the rest of the freaks." There's a growl from the man, before another speaks up, "Wait, did he say Bruce Banner?" Hoodlum number two turns his head to regard Bruce, "Uh... our turf or not, this guy is bad news, man." The third scratches his head as he looks at Bruce, "What do ya mean? Just looks like any ordinary pipsqueak ta me?"

Meanwhile, Bruce isn't saying anything, or moving.

Spider-Man has posed:
"Oh... a horrible idea. Sorry Mr. Banner, I just..., you know, you see a celebrity, you want to save it for posterity." The .38 revolver gets a thwip of webbing, covering the barrel, and keeping it to the man's hand. Hopefully the crook isn't dumb enough to think that his bullet can break the webbing. And in the odd chance he thinks he could, Spider-Man says, "fire that thing and you're more likely to break your own hand than my webbing. Trust me, it was made in New York City." That last bit came with a bit more pride than Spider-Man intended to convey.

"Trust me, wherever Dr. Bruce Banner goes, becomes his turf. You, me, mugger number two, mugger number three, business lady," yes, he had caught Miriam, "even that batboy you guys are so proud of, we're triple A, he's the New York Mets." Interesting choice there. Most people, even from New York, would say that he was the New York Yankees, but Spidey, nope, he's a Mets fan. He also had a bit of a Queens accent in there. Meanwhile, there was the sound of a car making a hasty move. Whatever the guys in the car were up to, looks like they got away with it... for now.


Mariam O'Shea has posed:
    Banner. Things just went from bad to worse. Mariam shakes her head and looks to the various wanna be gangsters, wondering if the Russian mob even knows these fellows are here. They seem a little low rent for the mobsters. But that didn't matter right now. What mattered was for them to not end up leveling a block of Gotham City. He seemed in control. For now.
    "Listen to the guy in the onesie," she said calmly, figuring he'd be able to handle things. Yet, she still found herself walking further into the alley, trying to draw the attention of the muggers away from their original victim. "I've already called the cops. The ones not on the payroll. So let's all just go our own way before things get ugly here."

Hulk has posed:
The third man looks to the one with the gun, "Look man, we have a bug freak and these two to deal with now. Let's just get out of here!" And he bolts, heading down the other end of the alleyway. The second man isn't far behind.

The man with the gun gets angry, tries to throw the gun at Spider-Man, then leaves after his two fellows, "I'm goin' back to East End after this." He can be heard grumbling as the last of the men move out of sight.

Bruce, on the other hand, seems to be visibly keeping himself calm, before he gives a glance up to Spider-Man, "trying to mug me is a bad idea all around... not the autograph." A shaky smile follows, "I don't mind those."

Then, Mariam gets his attention, "I apologize for the unpleasantness miss. I was hoping to avoid getting attention, but these people are just predators sometimes." Bruce observes sadly.

Spider-Man has posed:
Oh, Banner wasn't that bad. Not in a town where Solomon Grundy hung his hat, or would, if Grundy wore hats. Spider-Man whines, "awe, come on guys, I don't bite, you're thinking of the Tick. I heard he bites." The Tick doesn't bite, and Spider-Man didn't hear he bites, but he was happy to make the joke, since his tone was very much in jest. He also rambled on about it while thwiping his wrists, sending out lines of webbing to the first two muggers to make a run for it, trying to tie up their legs. The gun cannot be thrown, as it's currently webbed up to the guy's hand. And Spider-Man fires some more webbing, pinning him to the wall, "hey now, if you can't place nice, you can't play at all." Then turning to address Dr. Banner, "Dr. Banner, what are you doing in New Jersey? This place stresses me out, so I can't imagine how makes you feel. Ooh, an autograph." He clutches his hands, as he was still hanging upside down with the webline held between his legs, "I wish I had a pen, and paper."

Mariam O'Shea has posed:
    A piece of paper and a pen are held out in front of the duo. Mariam pulled them from the inside pocket of her jacket. "Nothing to apologize for, Dr. Banner. You weren't the one doing the mugging." She doesn't even give the webbed up wannabes a second glance. This was a job for heroes. Why she's there? She has no idea. And she's certainly not telling Mr. Wayne about this because then she'd get that raised eyebrow and possibly a scowl. She'd rather avoid that. Those scowls were frightening and should be considered a super power.
    "Are you alright, Doctor? And you," she turns her attention to Spider-Man. "Seem to be a long way from your neighborhood."

Spider-Man has posed:
Spider-Man is quite pleased to accept the pen and paper, "thank you miss," and he did a somersault, landing on his feet, so he could hold them out hopefully to Dr. Banner, "Oh, not that far, just across the Lincoln Tunnel, though I try and avoid tunnels, so I took the Livingston Bridge from the Upper West Side to North Point, then down to South Point, and here in Randall. I might take the Cross Bridge to Colgate Heights, and then Carter Bridge back to the safety of Greenwich Village and NYC, where streets are numbered, like a normal city. Do you have any idea how hard it is to navagiate when streets are called Nelson, Kane, Carrick, Neville, and Sherringham?"


Hulk has posed:
There's a moment while Bruce stares at Spider-Man, before he gives a humored chuckle, "I just use public transport. Drivers usually handle that for me." Then, hes moving forward, away from the wall, and walking casually over to Mariam, "I'm fine. I was just... surprised they're so brazen as to park on the bus stops out here." Bruce shrugs, "At least now I know."

Then, he pulls a notepad and a pen out of his jacket, "Here you go." He writes down his autograph on the paper, before tearing it and offering it to the web-head.

Most of the hoodlums have escaped by now. Except for the guy with the gun. He's just sticking around.

Spider-Man has posed:
Spider-Man was a little confused when Bruce didn't seem to note the pen and paper he held out to the scientist, but when Bruce gets his own, well, Spider-Man just chalks it up to the stress that the man was under from his earlier ordeal. One of the muggers begins to mutter something inappropriate, and Spider-Man webs the guys mouth shut, though is careful not to plug up his nostrils. "Hey, even if this is Gotham, watch that language. There's lady present." He even writes down on the paper with the pen supplied, 'thank you for your help today, 10 May 2026.' And below that, he signs it, 'your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man'. He writes a second note, 'Dear G.C.P.D. I caught these guys mugging a nice man from New York. Your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man.' He sticks that one to the guy with the gun, using some more webbing. He the returns the paper and pen to Miriam, with the one he had signed for her, "thanks," before accepting the one from Bruce. "Well, with the police on the way, probably best to let them take things from here. I'd suggest you two make yourselves scarce." And then he leaps up, firing more webbing, and begins to make his way upward, presumably to make himself scarce.


Hulk has posed:
Stress is one way to look at it. Nonetheless, the autograph is given, and Bruce looks in the direction of the street where the police are coming from... then to the other end of the alley. "Thank you for your assistance, Spider-Man." And then he's jogging down the alley, away from the police coming from the opposite direction.

Mariam O'Shea has posed:
    Taking the note, Mariam smirks slightly then slips it in her pocket with her pen. "Thanks. I think." Then Banner is heading off as well as she hears the sirens in the distance. She turns and heads out the opposite direction, muttering under her breath. "I can hear it now. 'Like a bad penny, O'Shea." She always seemed to end up in these sorts of situations.
    She could try to keep it a secret, not say a word. Oracle likely had it all on camera and had shared it with him real time. She'd get to answer some questions later when she got back to Wayne Manor.
    She'd be sure to give him the autograph.