4593/Skull emoji Poop emoji L by Lois Lane

Skull emoji Poop emoji L by Lois Lane
Date of Scene:	06 June 2018
Location:	Daily Planet, Metropolis
Synopsis:	Even Lois Lane couldn't dream this [redacted] up.
Cast of Characters:	Deadpool, Lois Lane

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Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool sat there on the desk, wearing his costume. It had been said that a supervillain could walk into the Daily Planet, and no one would notice, they were so busy, and so engrossed in their activities. Some were on social media, others blogging, posting online stories. Some were filming clips. But everyone was totally immersed in their own thing, or seemed to.

So, Wade managed to get all the way to Lois Lane's desk, which was currently occupied by, well, his costumed butt. He held up a ceramic turquoise mug, which had a three dimensional Olaf and snowflake pattern on it. There was a teabag hanging out of the side, and he breathed in the heat as he sat there, waiting... he'd been waiting for some time, long enough that he had to heat up the tea in the microwave three times. But he wanted to be just right.

His legs were crossed, just like the katana's on his back. And he had on a fedora, which said 'press' on a piece of paper that was tucked into the side of the hat. The trench coat he wore over his costume, untied, might have helped to hide him. But still, he was a guy in a red mask, in the bullpen. Someone should have noticed by now...

Lois Lane has posed:
Things were busy at the Planet. Even though paper was mostly dead, they still printed newspapers. However, most of her work was done online these days. It didn't mean there wasn't research, notes, files that she kept everything in meticulously when she settled down to actually write the story.

That's what she was doing now. She had finished the last interview thirty-seven minutes ago. That gave her time to stop at the coffee shop, which would explain the extra large cup of steaming coffee in her right hand. It had one of those annoying toppers that never allowed her to get a proper sip of coffee so she always had a team the hole a little bigger. In her left hand, a manilla folder filled with everything she needed.

She entered her office and froze on the spot. There was a man on her desk. That in and of itself was unusual. It might come as a surprise but it wasn't often someone sat on her desk. As in never. Then he was wearing a costume which made things even more odd. She tucked the file under her right arm and slipped her hand into her purse, grabbing the hand held taser she carried just in case of emergencies. Her voice was normal somehow when she spoke. "Hello. How may I help you?"

Deadpool has posed:
The response was quick and simple, and yet, probably had her gripping, if not pulling out and using that taser on the spot, but the man, who spoke with a pretty neutral accent, said... well, it came across, body language, facial expression, or what could be gleamed through the mask, and tone of voice, as eminently sincere. His words however, well, he said, "Good afternoon miss, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and saviour, Chuck Norris?"

Lois Lane has posed:
That gets a long moment of silence. Not reverence for his lord and saviour. More shock that he was asking such a strange question. She set aside her coffee on a table near the door and put the file down next to it. That gave her a free hand in case this nutjob was here for violence instead of conversation. "I can't say that I do," Lois tells him. "I have a lot of work I need to get done. So if you cuold perhaps vacate my office..."

Deadpool has posed:
"Not a fan of Chuck Norris, huh? Well, hmm," he uncrossed his legs on the desk, "perhaps I could interest you in an interview? My name is Wade Winston Wilson, or was it Wade Thomas Wilson?" He asked while placing his right index finger against where his mask covered his chin. "Eh, either way, I'm that delightful scamp, the Merc with a Mouth, Deadpool. Disney was going to make a cartoon series about me, but for some reason they canned it at the last minute. I hope it wasn't the joke about Taylor Swift that did me in. Maybe it was that I made fun of our corporate overlords." He brought the cup of coffee up towards his lips, or the lip covered part of his mask, kind of hovered there, then put it down around his mid section, "that hits the spot. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, ever wanted to interview a supervillain turned hero turned villain turned hero before?" He started counting on his fingers, whispering, villain, hero, "yep, I think I'm a hero right now."

Lois Lane has posed:
'You think?" There is the faintest stressing of the second word. How does someone not know if they are a hero or a villain? Lois grips the tazer a bit tighter as she keeps close to the door. If he makes a move, she's running for it. After she zaps him.

There is a bit of temptation though. The story just beckons her even though this guy is obviously a crackpot. "Can't say that I've heard of you, Deadpool. Perhaps the name was not quite the image that Disney wanted to portray for their company? Something more friendly may have helped there." She's certain Disney had nothing to do with this man. Ever. Between the ghost sipping coffee through his mask and his confusion as to what he is? "I'm certain it wasn't a joke about Taylor Swift. If it was, no one would have a job anymore."

Deadpool has posed:
"I have a mutant healing factor," he was most definitely not a mutant, "I won it in a poker game. You get shot in the head a few times, and it all becomes a jumble. But they, how many people out there can sever their own limbs and reattach them, without missing a beat on the piano. I play them as bad now as I always did. Besides, I'm more of an Ariana Grande kind of guy. She's got way better style." And to emphasise that, he straightens his fedora... which hung over his mask, and then he tugged on the sides of his undone trench coat.

Lois Lane has posed:
"I don't think that's how it works. You can't win mutancy. You either are one or you aren't," Lois points out unnecessarily. Maybe not so unnecessarily with this guy. He's got a few bats in his belfry as the saying went. In a bad way.

"You can actually reattach your own limbs?" When she says it, she finds herself reaching for a notepad with her free hand and she has to stop herself. There is no story here! Behave, Lois.

Deadpool has posed:
"Well, what if I got it from a blood transfusion? Would that make me a mutant?" His tone suggested he was hoping to convince her that he's a mutant, and trying to come up with a reason he could be one, rather than sounding assured of himself. He set down the mug on a coaster. "Yeah, like so..." and he said that part, full of confidence. He reached up, pulling a katana out of the sheath in his back, which stuck up over the neck of the trench coat. He cut off his own arm, the one that had been holding the cup of coffee. It fell onto her desk, getting blood on a stack of paper. That sword had to be incredibly sharp, as it seemed to cauterise the wounds, on both sides. There was nowhere near as much blood as there should have been. Or it was up to him. He looked around, then rested the katana, blade down, against the table, which got some blood on the hardwood floor. That way he could pick up the arm he had just severed. Yeah, if it was a magic trick, it was the absolute best magic trick she had probably ever seen. And then he reattached it... the uniform sleeve looked like it had been cut, but the hand immediately began to wiggle, fingers moving, then, he grabbed some tissues off her desk and started to clean up the mess he just made, "sorry about the mess, let me get that for you." If it hadn't been so insane, he'd probably have been tased by now.

Lois Lane has posed:
When the katana is drawn, so is the tazer. Then he cuts off his arm.

Wait. He cuts off his arm?!

Lois is not the screaming type. She likes to think she's cool and calm even in a crisis. But this? It's too much.

Her stomach does a slow roll and dip to the left, threatning to bring back up that coffee she'd already enjoyed. She starts to back away as the guy casually picks up his arm and puts it back in place. And it works. That stops her in her tracks. "You can...that's not possible. How did you do that?! It's a trick. An illusion." She doesnt walk over to him but she's not running out of the room.

Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool was on his hands and knees, actually having his ass pretty high up in the air, and in her general direction, as he was trying to mop up the blood with tons of tissue papers, with them all going into the nearby trashcan. When he was done, the blood was pretty well gone. It could use a disinfectant or something, not that he was capable of infecting things, but it was as clean as could be, given the circumstances. "No, no trick, just a simple superhuman regenerative healing factor. If I lose a limb, I can regrow it, but that takes a while, it's like watching grass grow. You wouldn't want me in here for that, although I suppose getting to know the overnight cleaning people could be fun."

Lois Lane has posed:
Now she's wondering about the regrowth of limbs and finds herself with a notepade in hand. Where did that come from? She has several questions already jotted down on it along with some of the details he had already shared. Lois frowned down at the paper. Wait. She as holding the paper and a pen. Where was her...

She set down the pen and picked up her tazer again.

"Probably not a good idea. But I would like to know more about you, Mr. Wilson. Only, I have work to do and I need to get to it. Deadlines don't wait for anyone. Even those with healing factors. Can I have a number to reach you in the future?"

Deadpool has posed:
"Sure, it's six oh four, six three seven, nineteen ninety," which was more information, a Canadian number, Vancouver area. But for the love of Thor, talk to me, or text me, but don't leave a voice message. I hate when people make me log in to the voice mail box, put in my password, get into the mail box, listen to the message, when it was left, and then hear, "hey, it's Chuck, are you there? Wade? Oh well, call me back. It's Chuck." I hate Chuck with the fury of a thousand sons of Sanford!"

Lois Lane has posed:
The number is jotted down. Without putting down the tazer. "I'll text you and I will not claim to be Chuck. Nor will I give Chuck your number." Whoever the hell Chuck was. Not Norris since he loved him. Had to be a different Chuck.

Lois carefully stepped out of her office so that he would have a clear exit path. She wasn't confident enough to step further into the room with the crazy man who had katanas that could slice off limbs.

Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool took off the Fedora, and the trench coat, setting them down on the desk, and then clicked the heels of his ruby red boots together, "there's no place like home, no place like home, no place like home..." and he flicked the switch on his teleporter belt, disappearing in a flash of light.

Lois Lane has posed:
Lois stared at the spot he'd occupied a moment before. She continued to stare for about thirty seconds. Picking up her coffee, she eyed the cup and was about to toss it in the trash since it must be tainted. The hat and trench coat lay on her desk still.

It had not been a hallucination.

She carefully moved the two items to the chair in front of her desk then settled in her seat behind it, laying down her paper and looking at her notes.

Curiouser and curiouser.