5378/Lost my Broomstick

Lost my Broomstick
Date of Scene:	15 September 2018
Location:	Unknown
Synopsis:	Summary needed
Cast of Characters:	Deadpool, Jubilee

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Deadpool has posed:
    Sitting out on the outer edge of the mansion is Harry Potter. He's just sitting on the curb, fiddling around with his phone, legs stretched out straight into the street. He is NOT on school property. Just barely the edge. So nobody can yell at him or do any SNIKT actions for him being at the school. At least, for now. That could change. Things very easily change.

His phone makes some loud beeping noises and musical sounds that chime in time with the mobile game he's playing. Colorful little objects bounce and move under his finger.

Jubilee has posed:
"Got a cheat code for that," comes a voice from behind Harry. "Once you get to the level with the little hairy bastards it all goes downhill. Unless you got a cheat code."

Jubilee seats herself next to him on the curb and stretches her legs out next to his. His are longer. Her legs will depends on herd immunity. And she takes out her own phone to play, too.

Deadpool has posed:
"Oh yeah? What's the code?" Harry asks, without turning around. He doesn't react much to her approach at all, but his tone is companionable. And doesn't match his appearance, not really, but it also doesn't clash crazily.

"I'm using up ALL my magical dusts on the fuzzy nut critters," he complains, turning the screen a little to show her. Indeed, he is getting mauled by the hairy bastards she mentioned. He doesn't seem as manic as he did earlier in the day in the dining hall.

Jubilee has posed:
"Ok it's n5wL4mE3," Jubilee rattles off, prepared to repeat as necessarily. "First, touch that tree. No, the one next to it, yeah that one." She waits for him to catch up, and then she repeats the code. "Capital on the L and the E. And NOW, your little fuzzbutt has a machine gun instead of a bubble wand."

Deadpool has posed:
"Well fuck yeah he does," Harry Potter says, pleased. He followed the directions without any problem. His attention is entirely on the game, though. "Die little squirrels. Suck on that. That's /right/." He's cheerful about the whole thing. But that's not unusual for a game, now is it.

He then finally looks up and at her, expression thoughtful. "Who were you, again? I know we met, but I really wasn't listening while being threatened by Lemony Snikt-Snikt."

Jubilee has posed:
"I'm Jubilee. I didn't exactly get to introduce myself. He's just cranky today because he's a cranky ass every day. Don't let it bother ya. I was wondering, tho, why you were here. I mean you didn't COME for the ice. You just found the ice irresistible, and inaccessible. Which made it seem all the more sweet and unattainable, until you had to have it at all costs. But the siren song of our ice doesn't usually attract ninja wizards."

Deadpool has posed:
"Never give excuses for him. He's the best ever at being grouchy. I wouldn't want him any other way. When I want to fight, he always has the best button to poke," Harry Potter explains blissfully, with a demonstrative movement of one hand towards her shoulder to illustrate the button-poke with one finger.

"Jubilee? That's nice. Are you a flambe' also? I like cherry flambe'. Logan I think called me Wade. He's not wrong. Mostly I'm Deadpool, though, of the one and only Deadpool society of just me. Secret identities are for people that give a shit about their privacy or something, am I right? I'm right."

Eventually he returns to what she asked: "I'm pretty sure I came to get Andrea Jackson to sign the shirt I made with her face on it. I had some bullets in my head, though. Logic doesn't /always/ apply when your head is lead."

Jubilee has posed:
Jubilee says, "Ohhh shit..." Jubilee replies as Deadpool explains his identity and names. This means that status update she turned in just a little while earlier is WAY off. "So you're not really Harry Potter?" Jubilee cries. "You're not a wizard, but you LOOK like one! Also, YES! I flambe'...that's what I do!""

Deadpool has posed:
    Aw, he disappointed her! Oh well. "Well no. Harry Potter is fictional," Deadpool says slowly, scratching his head, as if having to explain to her that Santa Claus doesn't exist. This is hard for him to have to say. "At least, as far as I know. But it matched going to Hogwarts. I would've been a Hufflepuff though if it WERE real. They're next to the larder. That's the place to BE." Deadpool ran out of lives on his game, so he puts it away, and scans out over the street through his entirely faked illusion Potter glasses.

Jubilee has posed:
Jubilee snerks as Deadpool explains to her what's real and what is not. "I'm not stupid, I'm high on life," Jubilee explains, as if that explains anything. "But Logan He'd /definitely/ be at least a Miniboss. If not a boss." She turns to Wade and tilts her head, still sitting beside him. "Why didn't he want you here? He could've at least ASKED why you were here. Instead of y'know, just tossin you out on your sweet ass--pudding cup."

Deadpool has posed:
Wade thinks about that. "Why? Eh. I'm.... have you seen the movie 'Demolition Man'? Stallone? Snipes?" The mercenary is grinning. It's easier to tell he is grinning due to the image inducer than it would have been if he were in his own mask. Go figure.

    "He was the demolition man because he'd do his job and everything got fucking destroyed," Wade explains, throwing both hands to include all of the things. "So I do that. My job. And I have fun." A snap of fingers. "Also I think Logan has a claw up his butt he won't tell us about. He doesn't like it when I check to see if it's there. But I'm pretty certain."

Jubilee has posed:
Jubilee wrinkles her nose, locking her phone's screen and setting it down beside her. "I don't like thinking about anything that's up Logan's Butt. D'ya know how hairy...." She trails off with a shudder. "But yeah he's usually got a bug up his butt about somethin'. I don't push, cause he'd just Heisman me on the forehead and tell me it's none of my goddamn business. /His/ hypothetical words, not mine," she clarifies.

She looks up at the sky, as a few clouds have rolled in, now obscuring the sun. She's still clinging to the last vestiges of summer in her turquoise tanktop, yellow scarf tied to a belt loop, and cutoff jean shorts. She examines their legs, side by side. "Y'know, if zombies attack us, I'm totally gettin' eaten first."

Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool helpfully assures her, "Much hair." He started to say more, but she diverts to zombies, and he manages to stay on topic with the conversation. Kind of. Or maybe he forgot what they were talking about before since it feels like a lot longer than it actually was since they last spoke. Perceptions are weird.

    "If zombies attack, we're fine. I'm exceptional at head-shots. Your short legs are the safest they could get, possibly ever," Deadpool brags. "No brag. Serious cereal. But hey. You're pals with the owner of said hairy ass and sharp snikt-snikts---. Does that mean you can pewpew zombies too? Magic missiles of fashion?" he asks, inviting himself to try to tug at the yellow scarf. He doesn't keep his hands to himself very well.

Jubilee has posed:
Jubilee fingerguns, firing a tiny blue plasma spark out of each 'gun', blows on the 'barrels', and pantomimes holstering the weapons. "Good guess! I'm always packin', Baby. You're a First Person Shooter, I'm guessin'? Maybe a ninja. Is your ninja name Wade? I gathered that from Logan's little outburst." If she can keep up with Harry Potter's conversation, maybe that means he can keep up with hers. She's suddenly becoming a fountain of questions.

Deadpool has posed:
    "What is that? Electricity? Fire? Neither? Looks shiny. How big are your bullets?" Deadpool asks, twisting towards her, and opening both hands palms up, as if he wanted to either hold the sparks or is inviting her to make a bigger one for him to look at. "Big enough to lay waste to some zombies, or more just invite them to a rave?" he asks, with interest. It's an excited tone: he isn't suggesting the rave option is bad at all.

    "My human person name is Wade. That's a pretty shit superhero name. Doesn't even suggest a power. Walking through water really slowly maybe. Really inspire the people with that shit."

Jubilee has posed:
"So you're not really Harry Potter??" She has a look of feigned shock and possibly a touch of disappointment, clearly still holding onto some shred of hope. She opens up her palms facing outward, aimed toward a paper cup that someone has rudely tossed on the lawn about twenty yards away, and she seems to be focusing, or possibly powering up. When she lets loose two strands of blue plasma join into a single roiling ball about the size of a basketball, and the ball is launched at the cup, incinerating it in a spectacular display of complete overkill as the plasma ball explodes. "That's about...seventy percent power. If I get /really/ pissed off I can make one the size of a Volkswagen. The beetle, not the minibus. But those are rare," she explains, lowering her hands to her sides again. "So what's your superhero name?"

Deadpool has posed:
"And not Daniel Radcliffe either. Too bad, right? Reasonably good looking guy," Deadpool asserts with a distracted dismay. He stretches his legs out a little more, hooking the toes just a little, while watching her power up.

    "Rad. Or awesome. Or sick. Or some other descriptor that is close to what the kids are saying. Fuckin' get them off my lawn, I can't keep track."

    "Still Deadpool. Not really a superhero though. But more than just an etsy handle. Such powers, much wow, but. Eh. Do you do super heroics with your balls of exploding, Miss Flambe'?"

Jubilee has posed:
"Heroics, sometimes. I can do other stuff with them. But it'd blind ya. I do a lot of 'Ooh shiny OGOD MY EYES!!' as a diversion, too. Hence these." She reaches up and lifts the brass goggles atop her head a little, which lets some of her long black hair loosen and fall in tendrils around her face. "Oh yeah, they also hold my hair up."

She considers his super-not-hero name and shrugs. "Sounds like a perfectly respectable name for somebody who plays real life Call of Duty with his own set of rules. You should use it as an Etsy handle, too. Sell macrame and crocheted beer can coozies."

Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool begins to hunt through his various satchels. There's a lot of random crap in them. He offers her an altoid, while still fishing around until he finds some sunglasses to wear. "I love distractions. I'll remember you. Distractions are great help. Usually I'm my own distraction. Usually I'm not hired TO distract directly: well, not to my face. .. hmmmm, I don't even have the patience to crochet a coaster, let alone a cozy. Maybe one day, when I lose the rest of my mind," Deadpool comments, cheerful. Overly cheerful, probably: aggressively cheerfully.

    "Logan probably finds me a supervillain. But I'm not. That villain part. Or super. Humility's important. I don't want to rule the world. There is absolutely zero fun in it. Sounds like a lot of work to me, overall. All that delegating of other people. I can take my own shits and wipe them all by myself," he assures her, snapping his fingers. No explosions of plasma-bits emit, of course.

Jubilee has posed:
"That's FANTASTIC news, cause I have zero powers that involve wiping a grown man's ass." She grins, but shakes her head. "Those things aren't gonna do you any good at full power, but I can show ya this:

Jubilee lifts one palm, and shoots what appears to be a few multicoloured balls of light, one after the next, into the air. Green. Pink. Blue. The three catch up to one another, and she uses her other hand to bring down her goggles to cover her eyes. "I use top grade welding glass for when it gets insane."

The three balls combine into one and explode into a spectacularly bright white light that hangs in the air for a moment before separating into about twenty small lights that take the shape of a golden snitch, wings flapping until they brighten to the point the shape is hardly visible, then explode into nothingness. At that point she crunches the altoid she's been sucking on, and squeals, fanning her mouth. "That's curiously strong!"

Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool adjusts the glasses anyway, obviously improving his cool factor by about 40%. "I might be interested in the story about how you discovered you don't have powers related to ass-wiping, your process of elimination there."

Elimination. Get it. Heh heh. .... Well, I think I'm funny at least.

"Firework spectacular. I have to use actual pyrotechnics. I've blown some parts off doing that. Yours seems less painful. And a little bit cheater-mode. I'm jealous."

    A side-eye is given through the mask -- meaning, he appears to do absolutely nothing-- and nods, putting the tin away again. "I get that a lot."

Jubilee has posed:
"Oh my GOD," replies Jubilee with a roll of her eyes. "You did NOT just make that pun..." But she giggles anyway, possibly stifling a snort. She'll never admit it. "But yeah, I can knock the top off a zombie, or turn people's retinas to bacon. Remember me for all your partying needs!"

It's then that what he said begins to sink in. "Wait, you've lost limbs? But you have limbs. And...none of 'em appear to be prosthetic. So you're like...one of those guys who can heal. Like Logan. Right? Like you could knock your junk off on America's Funniest Home Videos, win $10,000, and just grow it back."

Deadpool has posed:
There's some movement on the road; a taxi is approaching. Deadpool spots it, and moves one hand in an expectation of a fist bump. "That's my ride. I've gotta jet. But I do enjoy conversations that incude chatting about my junk going off, so don't take it like that. Take it like ... that my ride's here." Deadpool grins through his mask: it shows quite well.

    "Yes, me and Snikt-bub are two peas in a horrific torturous past-pod. A Thelma and Louise that can drive off the cliff over and over. But he won't, despite my total willingness to be EITHER character and that I don't even require a kiss." Deadpool climbs to his feet, perching the sunglasses on top of his mask's forehead. The taxi pulls up in front of them, obviously having no issue with picking up a weirdo in a ninja costume.

Jubilee has posed:
Jubilee fistbumps Deadpool and hops up, too, to see him off. "Awesome so don't be a stranger. I think I can fix things with Snikt-Bub. He ADORES me. I think you should totally join us somehow. I promise to be gentle." She winks and waves. "Have fun. Be safe. And for God's sake, if you knock your junk off, get it on video!"