598/Like a Surgeon

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Like a Surgeon
Date of Scene: 25 May 2017
Location: New York City
Synopsis: Natasha seeks Wade's help after she manages to tear out her stitches during a fight.
Cast of Characters: Black Widow (Romanoff), Deadpool




Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
The entrance into the domain of Deadpool isn't quite as smooth as last time. She manages to make it into a window but she sprawls there on the floor, the noise easily carried. She's wearing her costume, her Glocks in the holsters at her thighs. Her body is covered in dirt and debris from the disaster at the Bridge where a demonic attack took place earlier in the evening. She worked endlessly after the threat was gone, refusing any help even as she assisted those in worse shape. Hers is just stitches needing to be replaced but she didn't take in the blood loss. The way it would drain her. Her entire left leg is soaked but thankfully the dark material doesn't show it.

She couldn't go to the Triskelion. While it was an emergency, she was on light duty and honestly? She just didn't want to get yelled at when she was doing the right thing. They'd understand surely but they would still let her know she'd been wrong. The Avengers? That would be just like putting up a bulletin board for SHIELD if she used their facilities.

So she went somewhere she thought she might be able to get help with the wound and where she would feel safe at the same time. Strangely enough, that's here. She closes her eyes as she feels another wave of weakness, trying to convince herself she really can get up and stand again.

Deadpool has posed:
Music was playing. It was Weird "Al" Yankovic, though that wasn't immediately clear. Like the host, he was something of a chameleon. "... all your eggs in one basket. You better count your chickens before they hatch. You better sell some wine before it's time. You better find yourself an itch to scratch. You better squeeze all the Charmin, you can while Mr. Wimpole's not around. Stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan. Talk with your mouth full. Bit e the hand that feeds you. Bite on more than you can do. What can you do? Dare to be stupid!"

Somehow, the tune was fitting for Deadpool, who was currently sitting in an outdoor lawn chair, in his living room. There was a heat lamp in the ceiling, providing warmth and a fake sun. He had black cargo shorts, and a sky blue and yellow Hawaiian shirt. There was a drink in a glass with a little umbrella in it. And he seemed to be playing some kind of a zombie video game, where his character was a blonde haired girl, a cheerleader by her costume, and she was using the chainsaw to kill the zombies.

When he heard Natasha, he hit his game to pause. So, the game is called 'Lollipop Chainsaw II: Broken Nail Edition'. "Hey, hey now, you don't look so good." Despite the exposed legs, chest, and arms, he was wearing flip flops over his feet, and he had the Deadpool mask on. He rushed towards her, seeing the blood on her costume, and picked her up into his arms. "Natty, damn it, I'm taking a blood bath on you in the super villain pool. Couldn't you have waited a few months before getting hurt again?"


Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"I didn't get hurt again," Natasha argues even as he's picking her up. Now that's embarassing. She'd wanted to get to her own feet, stagger into the room like a drunken sailor, and ask if he had a needle and thread to borrow. Instead, she's being carried like a child, and probably not even making him strain considering the difference in their sizes. "I just kind of opened the one I already had again," she explains like that makes perfect sense.

She leans her head against his shoulder, remembering what a nice pillow it was. It's even nicer now and she lets her eyes close as she talks. "There was an attack. Explosions. Demons." Is she babbling from blood loss or serious? "The Avengers went. Had to. Needed everyone. But...ow." It isn't said as though she's in pain, it just her way of expressing what happened.

Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool has a healing factor. He lives his life as if he's in a video game with unlimited lives. Sure, it hurts to have a bullet open a hole in the palm of his hand, but he knows it'll grow back, so there's less incentive for him to dodge. He takes risks. He thinks, or rather, he knows that he's immortal. Even if he did 'die', he's been barred from every single afterlife. It's like they all got together and decided Midgard was the best place for him.

But, he wasn't always so. Sure, he always had the mouth, but he used to be a frail and mortal as everyone else. And he had his share of scrapes, bruises, needed to do some field dressings, stitches, and the like. Once he gets her onto a table, his kitchen table by the way. Of course, there was a tablecloth on there. It was red and white, like you'd expect for a picnic.

"Easy there, it's okay, you're in the house of Deadpool now. Well, not so much a house as an underground lair. I can't afford New York prices on a mercenary's salary." See the amount of blood on the legs of her costume, and the way she was, he knew the pants were reuined, so he took a step to his knife drawer and found one very sharp knife, which he used to quickly slice her pants, from the waist to the leg, so he could remove it. He didn't even peek.

He was then off to find where he left his first aid kit... a military grade first aid kit. Finding it under the sink, he dusted it off, away from her, before opening it. He quickly began rummaging around for the usual tools. Gloves, a needle, thread, some antibacterial cream, pain medication. It was fresh, factory sealed, and still good, despite the total lack of use. He began working to clean her up. Though before he put the gloves on, he hit the switch on his stereo system and changed the song back one... to 'Like a Surgeon', which he sang, "cutting for the very first time!" Talk about bedside manners.


Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
As he has to cut away her uniform, Natasha doesn't even protest. She lays there, breathing a little shallow but not dangerously so. Her eyes flick open as she listens to him bustling around the kitchen. When she sees the first aid kit being dusted off, her brows lift upwards a little but it makes sense. He likely wouldn't use one. Not with his healing factor. What she wouldn't give for one of those right now.

The change of music is what does it.

As he approaches, she begins to sit up, using her arms to help try to get to a sitting position. "Give me some gloves. I can do it myself." Stubborn to the core.

Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool grins as she stirs to rise up, and he puts her back down, being forceful, "don't make me get out my handcuffs. Your skin still looks good. I'm going to do my best to make sure it stays that way. Besides, I did this to myself, and others, plenty of times... all before I got the healing factor upgrade. And, when you're all stitched up, if you wanna talk about an exchange of bodily fluids, I'd be all for that," he meant blood, in case she has a dirty mind, "but help me, help you, okay?" He did seem to know what he was doing. He just was singing or humming the song as he tried to work on her. But he wasn't going to start it until she stopped fidgeting. And now, he did peek. He might as well enjoy the view if she's not going to let him help.

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
Natasha apparently has a naughty mind because she wasn't thinking blood transfusion. Probably because her brain is so muddled. Sure, that's the reason.

As much as she'd like to resist being pushed back down onto the table, she finds herself prone once again. She looks at him, frowning darkly and plotting her revenge for him doing this. She brings a hand to come up and rest on her stomach, the upper part of her costume still intact. Thanks to his ministrations, the bottom not so much. Now he knows she wears all black though, even under the costume, everything hidden from view. At least on the front. Good thing she's laying on her back. She forces herself to stop, knowing she's just going to get weaker if she doesn't get stitched up. If she passes out, he'll be doing what he wants anyway.

With the stitches.

Why did she come here again?

Deadpool has posed:
Relieved that she finally lets him do his work, he sanitises the area, the instruments, and begins doing his work. It won't take long, and with her pain threshold, she probably won't even cry out. It's far more mechanical than that. He fixes her up, stops the bleeding, and sews her back up, almost as if he were once a professional nurse, or even a doctor. Maybe he once had to pretend to be a doctor for one of his guises? He certainly has a nurse's outfit and a doctor's one too. When it's over, he winks at her, his mask still over his face, "thanks, it'd been a while since I got to play doctor. Now, now... what to give you? Do you want to borrow some pants, shorts, both would need a belt, or maybe one of my summer dresses?" Deadpool was known to be a crossdresser. But again, they're all in his size. Klinger had nothing on him.

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
As he worked, she never made a sound. She's dealt with worse. Even when she was a child in the Red Room, pain was a constant companion as they taught them to withhold information even while beign tortured.

Does it hurt? Hell yes! Natasha's discipline doesn't let her show it. She goes to a place in her mind, breathing through the pain, almost in a meditative state until he steps away. Only theh does she let out a slow breath. She doesn't try to get up this time though. It's far easier to just lay there. "Not that it matters considering you've already seen everything." Not everything! "Probably shorts. Won't interfere with the bandage as bad. And a clean shirt?" she asks. Then before he can move, she reaches out to try and take his hand in hers. "Thanks, Wade."

Deadpool has posed:
When Wade is finished, he extends something to her. She's not really paying attention, as she's gone to her happy place, and it's probably just out of her vision, but it's a white narrow tube like object with an orange circular disk, and some plastic over it. He held out an orange lollipop to her. "Because you were so good, and wore clean underwear, here you go Miss Romanova."

Before he goes, she takes his hand in hers, and he's touched by the gesture. "Awe, I'm just glad you came to me. I make house calls, but nobody ever comes to mine. Besides, normally, I hurt people, not help them." He gives her hand a gentle squeeze, then goes to try and find something for her. He comes back with some red shorts with a black stripe down the sides, from the hips to the edge of the thighs. There's a little Manchester United logo on one side. He also has a stretchy spandex shirt in black. On him, it probably really shows off his muscles. The kind of thing someone might wear to go clubbing if they were feeling particularly daring. On her, it might actually fit properly.


Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
She's still holding the lollipop when he gets back, a little smile on her face. Must be the painkillers. Wait, she hasn't had any of those yet.

She sits up very carefully, shoving the lollipop into her mouth so she has her hands open. Natasha is going to need them as the world goes topsy-turvy when she gets upright. She holds onto the table to either side of her hips, waiting for the sensation to pass.

The clothes are surprisingly not horrible. She had some fears after seeing what he is wearing and hearing the dress comments from earlier. Getting the clothes on is a little trickier and he likely will have to help a little with getting the shorts on. Then she removes the upper portion of her uniform, tossing it aside with the bottoms for now. She's sitting there in his shorts and bras. He'll be able to see the scars on he torso. A handful. Knife to the arm at some point. Bullets of various callibers. One in the shoulder, two to the stomach. She won't be out in a bikini anytime soon. Then she tugs the shirt over her head, pulling it into place.

Deadpool has posed:
Wade tries not to ogle her. He tries to be respectful. He shies away to avoid seeing the back of her underwear, to avoid seeing her bra, as much as he can, while still helping her. Of course, he appreciated it all. When she's fully clothed again, she looks good, and he says so. "You're stunning. You were before the stitches, you are now, and you will be when they fully heal. And trust me; I spend more time looking at gorgeous women than any man... who wouldn't know better than to start that line of thought. So, how about those Rangers?"

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
Despite everything, Natasha finds herself smiling as he changes topics rapidly. She pulls the lollipop out of her mouth. "That much time looking, huh?" she asks in a teasing tone. She reaches out to his shoulder, bracing her hand there as she tries to slide off he edge of the table to stand. On her right leg. She knows the left will just collaspe. "Help me get to wherever I'm sleeping." She should be asking but the fact she's having to ask at all is a little irritating so she just resorts to telling instead. Not very polite for a house guest.

Deadpool has posed:
Wade quickly moves to offer his shoulder. He even bends at the knees to make it easier on her, as he is quite a bit taller than she is. "You can take my room. I'll take the couch. And don't you dare turn me down. It'd be impolite to turn me down, and besides, you're recovering. You deserve to have room to spread out, to bend, to do whatever it is you do during the night, not cramped up on, okay, my couch is actually pretty long, but it's narrow. If you fell off the couch, you might hit the coffee table, and then bleed all over my floor. So, it's my bed for you, okay?"

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"I already bled all over your floor," Natasha points out so he realizes how silly his reasoning is. She does follow his lead, limping slowly along beside him. That he doesn't pick her up and speed the process? Huge points for him. Once in his room, she doesn't even worry about looking around. She makes a beeline for the bed which looks like it was made for at least six people. She sits on the edge and pulls back out the lollipop. "I will not have you sleeping on the couch. We're both adults." She's apparently forgotten who she's talking to. "We can both sleep here. The keywoard is sleep," she adds, apparently remembering exactly who she's talking to.

Deadpool has posed:
Wade raises a brow, which is impressive as he's still wearing his mask. "You trust me to be able to keep my hands, and everything else, to myself? Because I sure as hell don't. Asking me to lay in a bed with you and no do anything is like asking the Hamburgler to watch the restaurant while Ronald's getting his car detailed." He wanted to, he just didn't trust all the voices in his head, to say nothing of what happens to most men come morning.

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"I seem to remember you having a chance to grope me when I was asleep on the couch at my place," Natasha says bluntly. "You didn't do a thing. I'm a very light sleeper and I woke up several times but not once where you doing anyting improper." She shrugs as she pulls her feet up, already stretching. She runs her hand over the bandaged thigh, looking down at it then pulling her hand back up to rest on her midriff. Crunch! She pulls the now clean stick from her mouth, offering it to him. "I'm going to sleep. It's your choice." And with that, she just closes her eyes.