6082/Changeling: Night Owl

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Changeling: Night Owl
Date of Scene: 31 December 2018
Location: Unknown
Synopsis: Skye wallows long enough to realize it's the same old argument she had before. Buck up buttercup, you're part of the family.
Cast of Characters: Quake, Melinda May
Tinyplot: Changeling


Quake has posed:
Jemma really didn't have to worry too much about warning Skye not to drink the coffee at this hour. First off, Skye was a venerate night owl, and caffeine in the wee hours of the morning were really the bread and butter of her people. However, and perhaps more imporantly, Skye rarely finished a cup of coffee. It really was the ritual of the thing that grabbed her.

After Jemma left, the science lounge and break room was silent but for the soft buzzing of the machines (which weren't so very silent for Skye until she tuned them out); the overhead lights flickered as a bulb threatened to blow. And Skye looked extremely out of place without her usual laptop. It was almost unheard of!

Melinda May has posed:
And a late night beverage isn't at all unheard of for May either, considering the hours she's been pulling as interim Assistant Director. It explains why she arrives a few minutes later to find Skye, but not why she chose this particulr lounge.

But the tea supplies she zeroes in on DO explain that last tiny quandary.

Another minute or so and tea now steeping, she turns to visually study Skye. The younger woman's posture and demeanor so frequently tell more of a story than the hacker would likely want to admit to.

Quake has posed:
Skye isn't quite lost in thought, but she does look rather close to it. If not slightly morose. Not that it's anyone's fault, but it's been a long holiday season, complete with attempts on her life and, well, everyone she was with that day with the added bonus of Steve Rogers. Which is to say her little sojourn to the safety and solitude of the woods didn't go so well, even if you didn't include the part where she blasted a section of the forest down.

She's cupping a quite cool paper cup of coffee - totally from the dispensing machine rather than made fresh, and notably, her hands and arms are in what look like compression gloves. May would recognize them as the ones that Jemma created for Skye, to help her.

"You didn't really hunt me down, did you?" She asks even as it becomes clear May came for tea. Then again, May could have had tea anywhere Skye thinks. "It's late."

Melinda May has posed:
"No, I didn't. The main break room is out of tea," May replies. And no, the main break room is NOT out of tea. It's out of that special fancy tea that May insists on drinking, and anything packaged in a tea bag is just not suitable.

After her assessment of Skye's mental state -- and the state of that coffee cup -- she pulls down one of the ceramic mugs from the cupboard and fills it with hot water from the kettle and carries it over to offer to the hacker.

"And yes, it is late. Let me guess. You can't sleep."

Quake has posed:
Skye doesn't even try to deny it. It would just be a large waste of energy given who she's talking to, and ultimately they'd end right back here with Skye shrugging and sighing. "Pretty obvious, huh? Ran out of things to do." Which was mostly a lie - she could totally be working right now, but work also was a very large reminder of all the things stewing in her head.

Skye looks down at her hands. "I went to the shooting range. It's like.. I don't know. I have to recalibrate for these things." Which really wasn't the problem either, but it's the one she's giving right now.

Melinda May has posed:
May gently plucks the cold paper cup out of her hand and setting the ceramic mug in its place. "Just like learning any new skill. And you can't expect to be perfect at it from the first try." And now that Skye has these new compression glove things, she can start learning in earnest.

She disposes of the cold coffee and retrieves her tea before sitting next to the hacker. "What were the problems that you encountered at the shooting range?" She can't honestly relate to the having powers, but she is more than practiced at training a new skill.

Quake has posed:
"Aim is all off," Skye complains. "My hands don't feel like my hands. It was worse with the guns." Surprisingly. "It's not that, I guess. I can learn to fix it. I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself right now."

That, and heading back to the cabin would be confronting what she'd done.

Then she changes the subject abruptly. "I've been practicing the sims."

Melinda May has posed:
May spends a moment considering and taking a sip of her tea but then Skye changes the subject abruptly and she allows it. "Good. Keep up with practicing those sims and when you've logged enough hours you'll be ready to start actual practice flights."

But then she brings them right back to the original topic. "Maybe you should practice other tasks to get your hands feeling like your own again."

Quake has posed:
"You're a horrible person," Skye says without preamble. Because May is right. And Skye knows she's right. It's nothing Skye hasn't already told herself. And, in fact, it's part of the reason she hasn't her laptop with her - part, but not all. There's the whole what happened to her thing, but more importantly, there's the slow dragging of feet into accepting that nothing is going to change the fact that she is what she is now. It's only sheer stubbornness and self-punishment that Skye isn't tapping away on her laptop - and truth be known, the gloves aren't an interference to that. Skye is just being.. petulant.

She mutters off the number of hours she's already logged. It's a fair number all things considered. Then, "This is just like when I first came here, isn't it? Trying to figure out who I was here and avoiding what I already knew." She gives May a direct look, and picks up the mug that she's been given. "I don't know. Everything has changed. Maybe it hasn't." At least most of her friends haven't changed towards her. Maybe it's only how she sees herself that has changed. "How do you do it? I mean, you're lethal. You go out every day and you could just.." She makes an expressionless gesture. "Without thinking. How do you do it?"

Melinda May has posed:
May simply offers a small nod at the declaration that she's a horrible person. She's been called far worse before and likely will be again. She's already figured out that Skye's complaints are more about her struggling to accept herself as-is now, and that's something that will only take time. But even so, she's not going to let the younger agent wallow. It's unbecoming.

"It is just like when you first came here. Though you've lost the chip on your shoulder and the soapbox you used as a crutch." She takes another considering sip of her tea at Skye's question. "Honestly, I used to doubt myself in the same way all the time." Decades ago. "It took my friends and colleagues not treating me any different and continuing to practice my skills for me to finally learn that my skills don't control me. I control them."

Quake has posed:
It's nothing Skye hasn't been struggling with herself, though it helps to hear it from someone else. "Doesn't it scare you sometimes what you can do?" She asks like her current training hasn't already rendered her a rather deadly person.

And, yes, that's the crux of it: Skye is struggling to accept herself. She'd only just come to accept who and what she was in SHIELD and make peace with it, feeling comfortable with herself and her prowess when all of this happened. It was something of a blow to her confidence in herself. "What if I can't do my job? What if nobody trusts me?" Skye sighs, and makes an effort not to wallow, even if it's really her preferred mode this evening. "I'm scared, May. You didn't see what I did." Except May probably did. It's highly unlikely there weren't detailed reports given all that went on that day, and if Skye sat a moment and thought about it, she'd realize that. Except that's not really the problem, the problem still is Skye is afraid. What she is is powerful. She can't deny that anymore.

Melinda May has posed:
"It used to. But honestly? It really helped having people trust me no matter what. And you have that here. It also helps that there are now people out there that make what I can do look like a toddler throwing a binky."

"I really don't see this affecting your ability to do your job. You can still type, right? You can still do a threat assessment on a situation and make a call that will preserve as many lives as possible, yes?"

Quake has posed:
Skye ducks her head to cover a soft laugh. "No fair, May. And yeah, I can still do those things." She looks up, her grin barely hidden. "I'm not a bad shot, either. Just.. I.."

Skye shakes her head. "You people. You confuse me. None of this bothers you, does it? Do you know how scary that is? That you trust me? After all this, you all trust me. Worse, you like me. It's a lot to live up to."

And it already was the last time she lived up to it all and made it through this self-same crisis. It's just wrapped in a different package and taken her a bit to get here again. "You throw a mean binky."

Melinda May has posed:
"If this bothered me, I'd be bothered by everyone around me all day every day." May says this completely deadpan, so it's difficult to tell if she's joking or not. "But truthfully, everyone in SHIELD lives every day knowing that almost every person around them is dangerous, and often lethal. What we all learn to do is to trust that everyone around us knows how to aim or channel that lethality to where it belongs. You put that same level of trust into complete strangers every day just getting in a car and driving. People who can't manage that kind of trust don't last long around here."

She hides a hint of a smirk behind a sip of her tea. "Just about anything can be used as a weapon. I'm still figuring out goose down, though."

Quake has posed:
"Smoothering," Skye says blandly. "Like pillows. But I get it. I see what you mean. Just needed to hear it, I guess."

She gives a lopsided grin. "Thanks, May. For everything."

Melinda May has posed:
"Good. Don't make me have to repeat myself."

May finishes her tea and stands again. Back to the grindstone.

Quake has posed:
Skye laughs, and gives a half salute. "No Ma'am." Skye, too, finishes up, and heads back to her rooms to curl up with Clint and do what she should have been doing all along.