6196/Taco Tuesday

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Taco Tuesday
Date of Scene: 16 January 2019
Location: New York City
Synopsis: Deadpool's prank turns into a taco trip and not-date somehow.
Cast of Characters: Deadpool, Captain America, Spider-Woman (Drew)

Deadpool has posed:
    "I shouldn't need my ID tag," growls the man at the front security entrance, irritated. "It's in my other pants." The man is doing a phenomenal version of an impression of Wolverine. However, the security from the scans is very very certain that this is not, in fact, Wolverine. It's somebody else that looks like him, apparently. The discussion has been going on for several minutes now at the security entrance, where 'Wolverine' is getting continually more annoyed, it appears, and security is getting more uncomfortable.

    "Captain Rogers, are you available to deal with a security issue?" asks the front security finally. If it actually IS Logan and they are stopping him from entry, that could be a big problem, after all. They need some help sorting it out.

Captain America has posed:
"On my way." The timing is at least opportune. The fridge is devoid of coffee creamer and while that's not a problem for Steve, it is for other folks. There's also various little sundries he could grab and while they could order everything via Tony's robot brigade, a little fresh air also sounds nice. To his knowledge, no one's gunning for him now that the Winter Soldier is summarily banished to whatever dark little hole he belongs inside within Bucky's skull.

Upon reaching the front security entrance, the Captain sees someone who, at first sight, appears to be none other than Logan. Still...if security's concerned, something's up. He walks over and appears next to the security guard. "Officer Bradley," says he by way of greeting. "Is there a problem?" Already, Steve's giving this Wolverine a careful once-over, professional and detached in manner.

Deadpool has posed:
"Yes," Officer Bradley says, stepping aside. 'Logan' is now in a debate with one of the other officers, but appears to not be TOO angry, there aren't any claws out. But there is some gesturing and growling. And a little bit of something that will come off as amusement or enjoyment, as if the man were having a good time glowering at the guard. It dulls the edge of danger a lot.

"All of our equipment says that this is not a valid entrant, but is instead this one," Officer Bradley says, moving to show the terminal. The tech is very clearly and firmly stating that the person is Deadpool aka Wade Wilson, and absolutely not Wolverine.

"Could there be a mistake, if they're similar?" asks the officer, gesturing uncertainly. 'Logan' is poking at the other security guard in the middle of the chest with a finger. Seems pretty legit.

Captain America has posed:
Steve follows Officer Bradley over to the terminal in question. Upon looking at the identity shown on the screen, his concerned expression smoothes into that severely polite mask he puts forth when dealing with this particular superhero. Still, there's a glint of amusement in his blue eyes, in simple recognition of a prank well-done. Eventually, down the line, Logan *will* hear about this attempt.

"They share a few traits, like getting up from blows that would kill even Thor himself, but not genetics. It doesn't lie," he replies to Officer Bradley quietly. "Lemme handle this." He walks over to the growling, chest-poking man and claps a hand on his shoulder.

"Logan, good to see you. Let's give these guys a break and take a walk?" One good, solid *cuff* of a pat -- one that the real Logan wouldn't even flinch at -- and he walks on by, clearly headed out of the mansion proper.

Deadpool has posed:
Of course there's a reaction. It isn't dismay or fear or any of that, but sudden obvious recognition and a sly grin. It doesn't break his character, though it comes a little close. The smack to the pat will encounter, by touch, a hilt of sword that shouldn't be there, that the image inducer is covering. 'Logan' doesn't much mind the cuff, since he saw it coming, at the least. No fun if the game is ruined early!

"Computers ain't the only thing in the world, gotta listen to your gut too, bub," 'Logan' says to the security guard he'd been messing with, with one more POINT of finger into the man's chest. "Like Cap 'ere." He moves two fingers from his eyes to the security guard in an 'I'm watching you' motion, but is diverted off by the Captain.

There is some curious side-eye as 'Logan' tries to figure out if he's been caught yet or not in his fun little prank. "How's Nat? Ain't seen her lately or--- yeah." He'd been about to run at the mouth, and it's hard to contain the chatter. Maximum effort. To shut the hell up.

Captain America has posed:
The night air is clear and cold as they exit onto the front walkway. Steve's happy about his fleece-lined bomber jacket and wool socks at this point. His aversion to being chilly is understandable. He glances over at Logan, his expression full of humoring patience.

"Nat's just fine, Logan. I'll be sure to tell her you asked after her. How's Keyboard then? I appreciate what you did for me too, a few weeks back. Where'd you learn to do that?" He continues to watch the proposed Logan as they walk, eyebrows lifted expectantly as he waits for the correct answers he already knows.

Deadpool has posed:
There isn't any pause or hesitation, there's just the unrolling of comfortable, easy bullshittery. "Yeh, tell 'er. She still owes me big time, don't let her forget," 'Logan' says comfortably, enjoying himself: even if he's figured out, this is still entertaining. And that can't really be a surprise.

"Keyboard? Same as before, no update. Where'd I learn? Better to not say, but have you ever met a piece of obnoxious mutation named Deadpool?" 'Logan' asks, with a deep breath and shake of head, hands hooked into 'pockets' near his belt. "Taught me everything I know," he adds, with a sudden little giggle.

"Want to do dinner? I would really like a taco," prattles Wade suddenly in his own voice and manner, tapping-tap-tap at Steve's arm, abruptly switching mode.

Captain America has posed:
The half-step away from the abrupt drumming of a fingertip to his arm is accompanied by a wry grin on Steve's part. "Wade, you're going to get shot pulling stunts like this. And yes, I know, people shoot you all of the time, but Logan is no one I'd tangle with. Nat either," he's sure to add with an emphatic lift of brows again. "You think Logan plays nasty." He'll let imagination do the rest in terms of the Black Widow herself.

"I'm running an errand right now, but why not. You keep the paparazzi at bay, I'll buy tacos. Sound like a deal?" With his hands in his coat pockets, Steve pauses to regard Logan. "And choose a different disguise already. You're causing me cognitive dissonance."

Deadpool has posed:
"Do you think they'll be upset enough to fight me?" Wade asks, as if that were a wonderful prize. As wonderful as he could hope for. "I love the fite. Particularly with Logan. He is the best to disembowel out of all the people I enjoy disemboweling," Wade chatters, with a clear relief that he gets to be himself again. It is, of course, very odd to see coming from Logan.

"What? Oh. Sure thing, /Steve/," Wade says, with a lot of friendly, playful weight on the name. He abruptly swaps to looking like Natasha. And attempts to take Steve's arm, and press a cheek to his shoulder. Very intentional.

"What am I allowed to do to deter paparazzi, exactly? Just so I understand the boundaries of this mission," Wade falsettos.

Captain America has posed:
"Logan will come at you face to face, yes," replies Steve in regards to brawling with the Wolverine. "Nat won't come at you face to face. You'll be shot at a thousand yards." Then, lo and behold, a Widow, leaning on his shoulder in an intimation of friendliness the Captain's never seen before in the woman.

The man goes stock-still on the sidewalk, looking down at not-Natasha leaning her cheek on his shoulder in blatant, wide-eyed shock before he gives not-her his best glower. "Be someone other than Romanov and not maim or kill anyone," he replies in regards to boundaries of dealing with potential photographers..

Deadpool has posed:
"Logan's super face to face. Until he tries to turn the other cheek and all of that and not engage me. Then I shoot him in the back," Nat-Wade says, still in falsetto, lifting free hand in a gun gesture to pop several 'shots' into a passerby. The person looks over, and Nat-Wade smiles at them prettily, disarmingly. The person moves on after staring at 'her'. "Nat? Naw, she knows me. We cuddle. Platonically now. As much as I'd like to stab her, she might smush, and I like her not smushed." A weird way to specify that he won't harm the Widow, not really.

"Can I do maybe two out of three of those?" It's a bargain. "Which one shall I keep? Maiming?" suggests the mercenary, still attempting to settle hands around Steve's large bicep. It isn't tight or clingy. Wade bats his eyes, which conveys through into the image in a remarkably feminine manner.

Captain America has posed:
"Upon your head be it...fine. No maiming or killing." Steve still winces a little, as if expecting this particular edict to haunt him sooner or later. His gaze shifts to the hands on his arm and he shakes it enough to make the point that Wade should let go of him. But how awkward! It looks like he's shrugging off Natasha instead! "And you don't even sound like her," he grouses. "You couldn't fool anyone with that voice. Doesn't your image inducer have a voice modulator?"

Deadpool has posed:
"Yay! Tacos. Even if there's no maiming or murder. Just for you, though," Wade says, lifting free hand to attempt to bap Steve on the nose with forefinger. So precious! Except that it's actually a really handsy very armed and very crazy mercenary murder-hobo doing it, not a relatively stable but still dangerous Avenger woman.

"You are one of the best heroes, you know. I keep getting run off by others. The X-Men are about as inclusive as you think... not at all. And me with my mutant thing. It's pretty sad. I mean. I probably only want to chat with them because they're so resistant. Do you think that's why?" Wade asks, still maintaining the falsetto, which improves as he actually pays more attention to doing it and gets in a groove properly with it. It's not Nat's voice, but it could be so much worse.

"Is that a photographer?" Wade suddenly chirps, orienting to a car parked near them a bit too eagerly.

Spider-Woman (Drew) has posed:
It's Taco Tuesday. That means a bag full of tacos and a pocket full of sauce packets. Gotta have enough to share with all the people who didn't realize it was Taco Tuesday until Jess shows up with tacos. As Jessica approaches a gate, she rifles in her pocket for her badge. Packets of Volcano sauce flip relentlessly all over the sidewalk at her feet. Bending over to pick them up, the other pocket empties, and she scrambles for those, too. She tries to stuff a handful in her dark brown leather blazer's pocket, but it's full....of...what is that? She pulls it out. Oh right...mask. The wind catches it and blows it tumbleweeding down the sidewalk in the direction of one Steve Rogers, and one...Natasha? She scrunches her nose in a definitely not jealous manner. "Oh, hi, Cap. How's..." Her mask tumbles past him as she is distracted. "How's everything healin' up? And..Nat. Hi!"

Captain America has posed:
"Thank you, Wade." For what, exactly? Probably all of the above, from not maiming and killing people wielding cameras to the compliments to pointing out the car sitting far too close. Steve grunts and makes to walk over to Jessica, not-Nat likely in tow given her squirrel-like cling to his arm.

"Jessica, hi. I'm feeling good. Right as rain. Never better." He gives her a winning smile that doubles as a secret cry of 'HELP ME'. "Where did you get those tacos? I was just thinking of sending Nat here off to get some." How lightly he speaks of one of the foremost assassins in the world. Still with the 'PLEASE HELP ME' smile.

Deadpool has posed:
"Hiiiiii~~!" sing-songs the Nat-Wade at Jessica, without any spark of defensiveness or issue with the 'other' woman appearing. Wade slides his eyes back across to that car. "I'll get rid of it, with no maims or murder," he stage-whispers to Steve. He releases the captain's arm and crosses smoothly to the car... and leaps up onto the hood, spamming one palm down on the windshield. Not to break it, but it makes a very loud sound. "Shoo! SHOOO SHOOOOOOOOoooooo," Wade says, expressively, to the person in the car. It does not match the leap or behavior, which could make it more creepy, overall. They immediately turn over the engine and reverse out of the parking spot, as Wade acrobatically hops sideways back to the curb.

Turning back around on a heel, the image of Nat lifts one hand to flip side of hair over 'her' shoulder. There's the hood nearby, so 'she' stoops to pick it up, and saunters back over in a nonchalant way, flipping the hood around on a hooked finger as if it were a sexy bra. "Dropped your face? I got you!"

Captain America has posed:
Steve blows a quiet sigh of relief as the masked merc in disguise leaves his side to go deal with the potential paparazzi. He gives Jessica a tight smile. "You know what, never mind about those tacos, I'm going to...go now," he says, thumbing back over his shoulder. With hands back in his pockets, he makes to saunter away for a few steps, continuing to face towards Jessica and he even gives her a small wave as not-Nat returns with the lost hood.

And that is Steve Rogers turning on a dime and continuing on down the street at a very, very brisk walking pace!

Deadpool has posed:
Sadly, Wade missed out on the statement to Jessica, and after handing off the hood, spins and absolutely just RUNS to catch up. There's no shame in it at all, Wade took up a rapid jog to destroy that laughably inadequate walking pace and resume position with his best new captain buddy. "I'm super hungry too. If you rather not tacos though we can do something else, this is the wrong way for the good, close taco place, isn't it?" Wade asks, taking in the location. "Or are there surprise better tacos this way?"

Captain America has posed:
"Is it the wrong way? I must have gotten turned around," replies Steve with that patient, patient tone of his. It's like trying to lose a very friendly dog. He might have to climb a tree or something. "I'm sure if we walk this way long enough, we'll find other tacos."

But then, his conscience catches up with him. "Are the tacos in the other direction worth it, Wade?" He's paused by the entrance to the front walkway of the Avengers mansion now, looking dead at the merc-who-is-not-really-Nat.

Deadpool has posed:
Wade was not paying attention, he was expecting Steve to keep going at breakneck speed-walk, and plows right into him when he stops dead like that. It's not a hard collision really, but it wasn't expected, either, and it successfully checks the merc a little bit.

"I... worth what? Worth twenty minutes? Abso-fuuuuu------Absolutely," Deadpool says, clearly taking in who he is talking to almost a second too late. He caught it though; he's trying to be kind to his buddy at the moment. "Fuck, I almost swore!" he adds, bouncing a hand off his forehead in a 'doh' motion. He doesn't take in what he just said, he just continues.

"Also I'm not a complete idiot, you'd rather escape?" Wade asks, abruptly.

Captain America has posed:
"No." The man's hands pat at the pockets of his cargo pants until he finds what he's looking for. "Thought I'd forgotten my wallet. Also, language." Steve points a finger dead in not-Nat's face, heedless of the not-Russian assassin's personal space. However, he then shoves his hands back into his coat pockets and, with a little sigh, turns to walk back towards the most excellent taco place down the way.

"You didn't main or kill the paparazzi. Thanks. You deserve a taco for that," he says with nod towards Wade.

Deadpool has posed:
"Okay then," Wade agrees, mercurial as always. He fiddles with his image inducer. It reverts to one of the more 'common' average-guy appearances Wade uses, that matches his own body type, height and build, so that it isn't incongruent when he touches somebody. It's just some brown-haired guy, to a glance. Though to Wade, it's one of his memories of how he used to appear. He's turned a 180, out of prancing up a street to suddenly being deceptively rational.

"That would have been excessive. I mean, I do excessive great, but they're just fans like me, arent they?" Wade asks, rocking on his heels before coming along towards the 'correct' direction.

Captain America has posed:
"Yep." The Captain puts a small 'pop' on the ending consonant of the word. "Fans just like you." His next nonchalant check-in on the merc is accompanied by a small stutter-step that he recovers quickly from. No longer a Natasha escorting him, but someone you might see on the street anywhere in New York. Steve immediately appears to loosen up.

"So. You have tacos with anyone else recently? Anyone...not me?" A little frown and he clarifies. "I mean other folks around town who have fan bases." Good job, Steve, that's not much less awkward.

Deadpool has posed:
"I have fans too. You mean, do they chase me down the sidewalk for tacos? Not really. I don't walk down the sidewalk by myself too often. But when I invite them they do," Wade says, thinking it over with a squint, staring upwards, as if the answer were up above him and to the right somewhere.

"I think I got my friend hamburgers on Sunday. But my memory is always pretty questionable so let's not count on me for accuracy," Wade says with a rueful self-deprecating grin. "Do Avengers all get food together? I should form a team. A taco team."

Spider-Woman (Drew) has posed:
Jessica had her mask back, no harm, no foul. And she got back inside to a chorus of "Oooh tacos..." As usual. But something didn't set right with her. She had watched Natasha turn into a man. Not that Steve couldn't handle himself, but seriously what the hell...

So before she knew it, she was headed back down the sidewalk, tracing the steps of Cap and his new "fan" until she found them. "Oh hi boo~ooys..." She chimes in from behind them.

Captain America has posed:
The Captain does follow Wade's glance upwards out of social habit and finds nothing there in that spot above him and to the right. Hmm, must be thinking hard. He shrugs first when asked about the Avengers' eating habits.

"We eat together when we can. Shawarma. It's not half-bad. A lot of times, the kitchen staff has food available for when we return from missions. But a taco team?" Wade gets a small amused smile. "What would the team stand for?"

Hearing a familiar voice behind them, he spins to see Jessica on the approach. "Oh, hey. I thought you'd be enjoying your tacos?" He gives Wade a significant glance, as if to impart 'now look what you did'.

Deadpool has posed:
"Wait. is she the kitchen staff? Is she invitings us to food right now? Because now I need to be an Avenger immediately. I don't have kitchen staff. I have an old microwave. Hello kitchen staff lady. I will partake of your offers," Wade says, with a gallant, overdramatic tone, nudging Steve with an elbow as if to say 'SWEET' without speaking the word aloud.

"The team would.... I don't know. Usual superhero team stuff. It's not like I'm just suggesting it be a front for tacos. I don't think Alpha Flight has a kitchen staff. I should find out. I haven't been to the base in months. I hope I'm still on the roster," Wade says, thoughtful. And then clarifies, "I'm not merely a solo act, you know. Just mostly."

Spider-Woman (Drew) has posed:
Jess sighs wistfully. "Alas, no. Everyone else dug into them the moment I got back. I found myself quickly shifting from 'Taco Tuesday' to 'Hot Sauce Packet Tuesday.' Because everyone wants the mild or the Fire, but nobody wants the plain Hot ones. But without the tacos? Tastes great, less filling."

Then she looks between the two. "I dunno about kitchen staff, but if you guys wanna get Tacos, I'm in. And I'm buying."

Captain America has posed:
"The more , the merrier." Steve gives her another smile, this one far less beseeching of assistance. "Though we're going to have to do rock-paper-scissors for who's buying. I already technically said I'd buy," he says even as he makes to begin walking again.

"If you ever do need someone to join your taco team, Wade, I bet Jessica would." There's a sly glint in the man's eye. "But you should probably check in with the base before you go creating your own squadron, yes."

Deadpool has posed:
"I never said I was buying. I mean, I can. It wasn't a date though. If you want it to be I can pay," Wade says to Steve evenly without any suggestion of a joke. "That goes for both of you - Steve and Kitchen Lady, sure, let's do it," Wade grins. "Wait, Jessica? I like it. Kitchen Lady, by night, Jessica!" he entones, upbeat. He mellows again suddenly, as his mood and unpredictability makes another left turn.

"You guys are slooooow, step it up, super soldier-slash-Avengers," he encourages, deliberately moving ahead of them. "It will be taco wednesday by the time we arrive!"

Spider-Woman (Drew) has posed:
Jess shrugs. "I'm AWESOME at rock-paper-scissors, but I cheat." She doesn't elaborate, because she's thinking about tacos now. And trying to keep in step with not-nat-or-probably-this-guy-either. Afraid to open THAT can of worms, she just shakes her head and follows along, planning her rock-paper-scissors attack.