6642/The Darkness Within

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The Darkness Within
Date of Scene: 24 February 2019
Location: Jason Todd's brownstone home, Gotham
Synopsis: Jason and Kitty each become aware the other is dealing with an internal darkness
Cast of Characters: Red Hood, Shadowcat




Red Hood has posed:
When Kitty said she needed to go out for a bit, Jason used the time to clean up a little. After cleaning up, he tried to watch TV, but got bored. Being on the mend sucks. Finally, he decided to place an order for food. While he's waiting for it to arrive, he decided to continue to tidy.

This time, knowing that Kitty was planning on coming back, he gave her one of the keys to the brownstone. That will make it easier for her to get in. However, she will dicover he's not in the usual areas of the house. Not in the bedroom. Or kitchen, bathroom or living room. A pair of privacy screens seperate the living room from what's supposed to be the dining room.

Instead, Jason has turned it into a little training area. The aroma of ylang ylang, jasmine, chamomile, and musk hand in the air. Shirtless, he sits cross legged on the floor, his eyes closed in silent meditation. His hands rest in front of him as he concentrates. The lights are off, and only the dim glow of candles illuminate the room.

Shadowcat has posed:
The sound of the door opening and closing can be heard. Kitty is coming in late enough that she doesn't call out, just in case he's asleep. He's injured, he is supposed to be sleeping. Not sneaking off to watch mutant protests. Though that was the day before, Kitty having returned to the school after that mission.

Her thoughts most of the trip back to Gotham are on Magneto. Should she think of him as Eric? Rachel made the distinction. And he'd been the same to the girl as Kitty had. But that was a different Eric.

And a different Kitty.

Kitty had let out a sigh on her way up the steps, pushing those thoughts back out of her head. So now that she's here in the brownstone, she can just focus on... hey, where is he anyway?

Kitty walks around the house looking for him. Finally moving around the screens and seeing him there meditating. She slips off her shoes, if it isn't one of those homes where people remove them at the door, and moves over to sit facing him. Her eyes closing as she joins him in the silent meditation.

Red Hood has posed:
He felt her presence when she arrived - not a power - she just is noisy enough that Jason could pick up on her. He doesn't open his eyes, instead he explains. "When I was in Asia, when I had my training.. I was taught to deal with anger. Frustration. Everything that comes with it." he says quietly, not opening his eyes, remaining in quiet concentration.

"But you have to be willing to accept that there is a darkness within you. A part of you, that no matter how hard you may try - it will always be." he explains. "And you have to be willing to meet it. Not just meet it, but embrace it. To commune with it, and let it be a part of your whole that you accept." His hands move, settling over hers.

Shadowcat has posed:
With Jason's eyes closed, he misses Kitty's mouth falling open. The surprised and confused stare. She closes her mouth and eyes him, waiting for his eyes to open. For a knowing look that signals who it was he was really talking about. But then it doesn't come.

Kitty swallows and closes her eyes. She hasn't been meditating as much lately, and her thoughts are very turbulent right now. Which gives her the need for meditation, but also difficulty in achieving it. "But how can you embrace it without it changing too much of who you are. Changing what you cannot accept changing," Kitty asks quietly.

Red Hood has posed:
"When I was training, Ducra, that was my teacher - she said to me - what you have done with your life is what shapes what you are. You have to be the one to decide to let outside forces to dictate to you what it is that you will become, or to find yourself. Even the worst parts of yourself, and convince them to work with you." Jason responds. His eyes never open, he's concentrating - on whatever it is.

"That once you find that part of your soul that you think is irredemiable, that instead of forcing it to change or trying to expel it - you have to accept it. It is as much of a part of you as your heart or your hands. You cannot rid yourself of it. You cannot turn it into something that it's not. You have to be willing to know that it's there. And even though it is dark - it will provide you with clarity in it's own way."

Shadowcat has posed:
Kitty Pryde peeks an eye open to look at Jason. She is more than a little spooked out right now. She can also hear Logan's disapproving growl at her for peeking the eye open while meditating.

Kitty closes her eyes. She controls her breathing and seeks her center. Calm. Breathe.

Jason's words. Breathe.

Calm. Light. Breathe.

Embrace one's own darkness. Breathe.

Calm. Breathe.

Darkness. Breathe.

DARKNESS.

Kitty jumps up, taking a step back. A hand goes to her head and then she walks quickly, disappearing around the privacy screens to the other part of the house.

Red Hood has posed:
Jason has spent his whole like if the darkness. Knowing it and accepting it have been two things that are only recent to him. He is comfortable there. Kitty, may not be so much. When he feels her suddenly shift - that her breath catches in her throat, he's snapped out of his own meditative reprieve.

Concern finds his face as he pushes himself out of his lotus position to stand, and heads to find her. "Kitty?" he asks with a quiet tone. There's a worry in his voice - the way she just bolted as she did.

Shadowcat has posed:
Kitty Pryde didn't go far. Into the living room, the lights down load, the room just lit by the diffuse light from the candles in the meditation area. Perhaps a few beams of light coming in through windows where the blinds do not give a full seal.

She's sitting on the floor in the space between the couch and a chair. Feet pulled up to her. Knees near to her chest with her arms wrapped around them. The faint light catches her eyes, reflecting in them as they stare straight ahead of her.

Red Hood has posed:
Approaching Kitty, Jason considers. And then he moves to sit down next to her. "When I was young, my step mother and father would fight all the time. I'd hide under a table, talking to my dog in order to get through the argument. My whole life, I have shouldered what I thought others wanted me to be. I would change myself as I thought others would see fit to find acceptance with who I was. Always because I feared rejection. That I would not be found to be acceptable. Or wanted." he explains to her quietly.

"Some things have happened to me. Some bad things. Some painful things. Things I'm not ready to talk to you about yet. Because for the first time, I've come to realize - I have to accept who I am. All of it. I was shown how to find the darkest part of my soul and commune with it. Not to repress it any longer. To accept it and do good with it. Or at least try to."

"You're the first woman I've been with since I realized this, Katherine." he uses her proper name as he reaches up, to lightly touch her arm. "And it's scared me at times, but at the same time, it's made me realize that when I do good with that part of me - good things can happen."

"Like you."

Shadowcat has posed:
Kitty Pryde clears her throat softly. The eyes which have just stared ahead of her awhile finally look up to Jason. She sits still for a lot longer, before finally moving. Sliding a hand over to his touch. Her fingers finding his and lacing. Squeezing his hand hard.

After a few more moments of silence, Kitty stands up, accepting his help if he pulls her up. She moves to hug herself to him, closing her eyes and resting her cheek against his chest. "Sorry," she tells him softly. "I'm glad that you found something. Something that works for you," she says as she stands pressed against him the dimly lit room.

"And I'm glad you found it in time to be ready to meet me," she adds, hugging herself to him a little tighter. Her hands brush softly across his back and she just hugs him. Tight.

Red Hood has posed:
Confusion is there on Jason's face, as he helps Kitty to her feet. When her hand finds his, their fingers twine and press together. He lets out a breath. "There's nothing to apologize for." he says quietly to her, his free hand running down her back as concern touches his features.

"What can I do to help?" he asks quietly. He can sense she's troubled - she has all the ear-marks of it. He tries to tell her that he will be there for her. As long as she wants him there. Her hug is returned, tight and affectionate.

Shadowcat has posed:
Kitty Pryde gives a little shake of her head. "It's ok," Kitty tells him. "It just surprised me a little bit." Kitty's hand works slowly over his back as she keeps hugging herself to him.

She seems to think of something, and pulls her head back from his chest so he can see her. "Don't... don't think it was bad, sharing that. It wasn't. It wasn't. I want to know you, Jason. If this is something you've been through, if this is part of who you are? I'm glad you told me."

Kitty pokes a finger gently at his chest. "So, don't say to yourself, I shouldn't have told her that, ok? I'm glad you told me. Just, my mind when somewhere for a minute and... it's ok now, don't worry about that, ok?" she tells him.

Red Hood has posed:
There's a frown, especially when Kitty tries to soothe over the feelings that Jason's having at the moment. Reaching up to brush her hair over her ear, he studies her eyes and her face. "It's not the fact that I shared it and you reacted like that that bothers me." he admits. "It's that you did have that reaction."

He's recently emerged from the Lazarus Pit. He's unfocused. Angry. He lashes at the first person that gets too close. After pinning down the assassin, Jason plunges a knife into his chest and rips it upward. He feels nothing when the others pull him away. No. Not nothing. He feels glee. The darkness consumes.

His own thoughts snapped back to here and now, Jason holds her gaze. "Breathe. Focus on me." he tells her. "My eyes. Your eyes. You are not alone. That feeling in you will not be what controls you. It is what you have to face. If you continue to run from it, it will continue to grow. Every step you take back, it will fill the void - until there are no steps left. You have friends. Family." A pause. "Loved ones. They will be there. But to face what has scared you so? You must be willing and able to do so on your own. And from what I have spent with you - I believe in you. That you can. That you will push it back away - incorporate it. Control it instead of it controlling you."

Shadowcat has posed:
Kitty Pryde looks up into Jason's eyes, her hand sliding up as if along that gaze until it rests along his cheek. "I just... I was confused on what you were talking about," Kitty tells him. "I understand now. Or, ok I don't. But I don't misunderstand now, at least."

Kitty keeps gazing up at him. "It sounds like you've found something that works for you," she tells him. She falls silent, tongue touching her lips for a moment. Kitty's gaze drops finally, looking down at the scars on his chest.

"Does this have to do with these?" she asks him before looking back up. She's never recoiled from those, or been afraid to touch them. Never treated them as anything other than just another part of his torso. But she's also never asked about them before.

Red Hood has posed:
There's a long pause as Jason feels her touch on his scars. His heart thrums beneath her touch, a strong and powerful beat. He looks down to where her fingers rest.

The marks of a man who died.

"Yes." he finally decides to say. His hands reach up to cover hers. "There's a lot about me you don't know. And it probably starts with those. And I want to tell you everything." he says simply, his eyes studying hers as he draws in his breath.

"But that's a step that I take that will either chase you away or bring you closer - and either way, it would be one I can't take back."

Shadowcat has posed:
Kitty Pryde keeps her hand there on Jason's cheek, resting beneath his own larger hand. "I'd like to get to know everything about you," Kitty tells him. "I won't rush it though if it is something you think should wait, Jason."

She looks down for a moment, shaking her head and looking back up at him. "I can't imagine what you'd tell me that would chase me away. I think you have a good heart. It's obvious you have been through a lot. That you seem to have come through it as the man that you are means everything to me."

Kitty's fingers brush just a bit against his cheek, beside his eye. "I'm guessing that's what you were talking about? About how you manage to deal with the bad times that you've been through?" she asks him.

Red Hood has posed:
"Yeah, but enough feeling sorry for myself." Jason offers with a grin towards her as he looks down into her eyes. When she tells him how much he means to her, he draws in a little breath. "I trust you. I just need to figure out.."

How do I tell her what all has happened to me?

"Well, right now, we need to figure out what we're doing for dinner." he says with a smile as he decides to turn away from the converation. Hide it for now. "But if you ever want to talk." He'll be there. It's all he can offer to her.

"Also. I'm going to tell my father about you. I would like you to meet him."

Shadowcat has posed:
Kitty Pryde doesn't chase the conversation as Jason turns it aside. When he mentions his father, she gives a soft smile instead, letting them focus on the new focus of discussion. "You... you do?" she asks softly, seeming touched by this. "I know we've only been together for a little while. If you think, I mean yes, I'd like to meet him if you think you'd like to introduce me," Kitty tells him. She goes up on her toes to press a kiss to Jason's lips.

"Is there anything I should know? Like, is he strict or friendly, or... does he approve of girls you've brought home in the past?" Kitty asks, showing with her concern that his father approve of her that it means something to her.

Red Hood has posed:
"You're going to be the first girl I've brought to meet him." Jason admits after a moment, and chuckles. "I warned you that my dating life has been rather short start and stops. In about another month, you're probably going to be my longest relationship." There's a little chuckle at that.

"Though I know you said you had a long romance. And this might be moving too fast for you. If it is, say so." he says queitly, returning her kiss as he lowers his hands to catch hers. "He's a pretty normal guy, despite all the billionaire playboy stuff. He wants to make sure that we're taken care of and really cares for Gotham. I think you'll like him. At least I hope you do."

Shadowcat has posed:
Kitty Pryde gives a soft grin at the mention of her soon becoming his longest relationship. "Well, I think the other girls just haven't known what they were missing then," Kitty tells Jason. "And that's perfectly fine with me. You can be my little secret," she says, her smile beaming and her eyes shining with warmth as she regards her boyfriend.

And then Jason brings up her long-term romance. Kitty's eyes open wide. "Oh shoot," she says. "With you getting hurt and..." and the anti-mutant rally and Sentinel attack, she doesn't say, "... I completely forgot. Just so you know, Piotr is back. I haven't seen him yet," Kitty tells Jason. "When I do, I'm going to tell him I'm seeing someone and that, well we haven't talked in a year so saying I've moved on is kind of redundant. But, I'm telling him that I'm with you now," Kitty says. Her tone with the last part is spoken with conviction, her eyes locked on Jason's so he'll be able to read the truth of what she says easily.

Red Hood has posed:
There's also something else that Jason sees in her eyes. "..you still care for him." he says finally. "I mean, I get that. And I'm not going to ever hold that against you." His hands lightly tug on hers, keeping their eyes on each other. "I know you're mine now. But I don't want to prevent you from having a friendship with him if you want one."

He pauses after a moment. This is still something he's not quite used to. His relationships are usually a lot more freeform. "..if that makes sense?"

Shadowcat has posed:
Kitty Pryde's fingers squeeze against Jason's. "I do still care for him. He's been a good friend. That was the hardest part about how badly our split went. Losing him as a friend was much more difficult than the rest," Kitty says. She presses herself against Jason, hugging him tightly.

"Thank you. It means a lot that you'd trust me like that. And I won't break that trust. I would like to see him become a friend again. And he's someone that can live with the difference, I think. But either way, I'm with you, Jason," Kitty says as she presses against him in the dimly lit living room. "You don't have to worry about something rekindling there."

Kitty looks up to him, smiling warmly. "We're together. That won't change."

Red Hood has posed:
Does anything really need to be said on that? When Kitty reminds him that they're together, Jason feels his hands within hers. Leaning down to kiss her warmly, his hands hold onto hers tightly. And when he pulls away, only one hand lets go.

The other one holds onto hers as he turns to lead her towards the stairs heading up to the living area.