6847/Let Her Eat Cake!!!

Let Her Eat Cake		!
Date of Scene:	10 March 2019
Location:	Unknown
Synopsis:	In which Darcy tries to trick Skye into eating fruit by hiding it in cake only for Ward to attempt to steal it, the Fuckward. Or this is what happens when a Sonic Carhop is allowed into the Triskelion Cafeteria.
Cast of Characters:	Darcy Lewis, Quake, Grant Ward

---

Darcy Lewis has posed:
OMG Foooooods!!! Darcy is starving.

Not literally litterally, but figuratively litterally starving. It was an off duty kind of say for her and so she went for a skate on the city streets outside before coming back and making her way into the cafeteria for food things... while still wearing her skating gear. No, she has no fucks about the fact that she she NOT dressed like anyone SHIELD likes to publically associate with let alone hires. Leggings so torn they are glorified fishnets, skirt so short it leaves no doubt that she is wearing Sailor Moon booty shorts, and a tshirt that clearing had scissors taken to it to make it look like a corsetted top instead of a concert tee for a hair band from the late 80s. Hard to tell which one though, given how faded it is. An o-ring studded belt rested low on her hips and her hair was up in a messy bun.

Darcy stood in the foor line, ordering off the Luby's style buffet line, in her skates. Her body language that of a woman comfortable being nearly six feet tall. She stood still and calm despite the wheels on her feet, rolling smoothly when she needed to move with her plate.

Quake has posed:
Skye is only here because someone *cough*Clint*cough* forgot to buy coffee. Okay, fine. It was Skye's turn to do 'the groceries' - which invariably meant something was forgotten. She had a point when she said the cafeteria was *right there, omg, Hotshot*.. only it kind of lost it's punch when she was the one Jonesing for a coffee.

Work. You know how it is. Or did if you knew Skye. Work involved copious amounts of candy bars and cold coffee.

Thus it was a grumbly Skye was standing in line, waiting to get at the stuff, seeing as someone.. again, *cough*Clint*cough* had an errand earlier and wasn't around to do her the favour of retrieving one for her.

It's a sign of the grumble, or the degree to which she's dropped her brain into the encrypted stick Ward had given her the night before, that Skye hasn't noticed DArcy in line, or worse, that the woman is wearing her Derby skates.

Grant Ward has posed:
Seems the place to be, and with nothing but what was cold pizza left from the night before in his fridge, Agent Ward has made his way down to the one place he truly despies in the Triskelion" The Cafe. Social interaction and a lot of food that he more than pnce had brought to Jemma for analysis before ever ordering it again. His arrival, to anyone who notices is that of someone who appears ot be on an espionage mission, almost seemingly trying to slip in unnoticed. Yet, the tall well dressed man in the dark blue suit does seem to drawe at least a glance and an occasional greeting.

"Welcome back Agent Ward." A voice from a table of new recruits who go into a side conversation as he simply waves and continues towards the food line.

He fall in beside Skye, nodding once. "Skye. You look as if..." He pauses. "Ooh they have a fruit cup.." He actually reaches around her ot grab it first, murmuring to Darcy as well. "Darcy. I see you are still working undercover in that 80's cover band. Let me know how that works out. So curious."

Darcy Lewis has posed:
Darcy looks over as the cafertia lady piles spaghetti onto her plate. A brow quirks over her glasses at Ward before Darcy replies with a grace and eloquence that is unmistakably her own. Darcy turns her back to Ward, bends at the hips to jut out her backside, then flips her skirt up to pat a cheek.

Reply given, Darcy rights herself to give Skye a smirk.

"Hotpants forget the joe again, Shitcode? Go pick us a table, gorgeous, and I'll bring you a cup." Because Darcy KNOWS how to make Skye the Best Coffee (TM).

Quake has posed:
"Huh? I look like.. Wait, ew. You're going to eat that stuff?" Skye. Vast purveyor of candy bars. Non eater of vegetables. Suspicious of fruit. Especially fruit that comes in little cups. The things that came in their own suits.. er.. peels.. was bad enough.

Of course Darcy, who Skye now sees, has a much better response to Sir Snarkalot than she does. "Oh, sure. showoff, Glittertits. If I were wearing a skirt, I could do that, too."

It should be noted that while Skye has wore a dress (once - to a fancy restaurant no less) there is no physical proof that this took place, so her threat carries little weight.

"Why are we all here anyway? And Yeah..well, technically it was my turn, but he knows I don't shop. And I've been cusy." What with Cal, and the Zola thing; the Birds (which were secret, but that didn't mean she wasn't working with them); Nyx; the whole man-in-the-van.. and now the data Grant had dropped into her lap.

Oh, yeah, and learning to control her powers.

Skye's plate was rather full.

"This all a flyby, or we all going to be civil and sit down for a few?" Skye gives a weak grin, and rubs her eyes. "I could use a break." Someone, it might seem, had been up all night working.

Grant Ward has posed:
And what a reaction he recieves from Darcy. However, he had come to expect that from her. His response is his attempt to snap back a reply, and in most cases falls short. Captain Sense of Humor, that's agent Ward. "And here I stand fresh out of ones." He peruses the food before him and eventually settles on a salad and a baked potato. Safe foods, or so he thinks. I mean it looks like it should afterall.

"You really try something someday that wasn't in the Willy Wonka movie." Now the decision, take it back to his room or be social and sit with the two women. There seems to be a battle going on in his head and he exhales ever so slowly with his reply to the inquiry. "I suppose I could sit."

He moves to follow the two young women waiting to see where Skye chooses to sit while Darcy makes the coffee. "I hope you were not up all night working on that stick I gave you? And if you weren't, please don't tell me why you were."

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"Are you daft? Of course we're going to sit and eat. Go, find table, I bring coffee, grunt grunt," quips Darcy, turning away from Skye then in order to get the coffee and her try of food. It'll take a bit before she's ready to meet back up with her friends.

Quake has posed:
Skye blinks at Darcy. "Coffee, right?" Because, important. Though knowing Darcy (or perhaps Ward) food will arrive as well. Darcy should recognize Skye entering full work zombie mode.

"And I do to eat things that aren't.. Wait, you know Willy Wonka?" That's a surprise. Grant Ward. Knows pop culture. "I just don't like.. vegetables." And fruit.

Her silence on whether or not she stayed up all night working speaks volumes (that would be a yes, Ward). Dutifully, though, she scouts out a table. By a window, even.

Grant Ward has posed:
Ward slides into a chair at the chosen table. A table in which he is able to sit facing the entrance to the Cafe. It is something he has always done, never sit with your back to the door. Never. "Of course I know Willy Wonka. Golden Tickets. Those little orange people, Doompa Doompas." His finger goes in and picks out a piece of melon. "You should really try and get some sleep Skye. You have a lot going on. You know what...that stick can wait a day or two."

He looks up to Darcy who is still fetching the coffee. "Hey wheels. Can you grab me some. Black."

Darcy Lewis has posed:
Zmobie Work Mode noted. Darcy takes her time, making sure to get Skye some stirfry over white rice from the cafeteria line. A cake covered in a fresh fruit comptote for desert is added, because Darcy plans to trick Skye into eating some of the fresh berries as well. Ward calling out an order has Darcy cocking a hip in his direction. What is she? Some broke girl in a greasy spoon diner? A roll of eyes later and Darcy gathers a second cup of coffee, and with tribute collected and plattered, Derby Queen Lewis rollers over like a carhop.

"Treat me like an ass, Imma treat you like an ass. here's your coffee. Where's my tip?" she quips at Ward all while serving everyone their meals and drinks with surprising ease. Someone's experienced.

Quake has posed:
"Don't eat yellow snow," Skye deadpans before Ward can offer a tip of his own. Darcy's offerings are peered at, and the young woman pokes a finger at the berries. "What's this? And don't say it's a berry. I know it's a berry. I mean, what is this?" Because fruit compote? What the hell is a fruit compote anyway?

Stirfry, though, Skye knows, and loves. (She'd have also accepted the cafeteria's lasagna with equal enthusiasm - those lunch ladies knew their stuff.) "Oh god," she mutters around a mouthful, as her stomach makes encouraging (and loud) growly noises. "I'd forgotten how good food tasted." Like it wasn't only last night she'd been shovelling pizza into her gullet while chatting with WArd.

"And," she says, stabbing her fork in the air at the man, "It's what I do. You brought me work. I do work. Besides, sooner that's off my plate, the sooner I can tackle the other shit on my plate."

Grant Ward has posed:
He was going to offer a tip, in fact he had his finger in the air to accompany his tip, but Skye was that much quicker. "Well yellow snow does provide addtional nutrients in a survival situation where simple water may not be enough to..." He trails off and stabs at a strawberry. "It's a good compromise for you Skye. Fruit bathed in sugar. Baby steps Hack-Fu."

A genuine nod of thanks is given to Darcy. "I am sorry for my previous comments. We may do things a little different..okay a lot different. However, I have heard you have done some good things." Well that was dragged from his lips.

A sip of the coffee. "Tell you what Skye. I gave you something. You give me something. Go ahead, unload it. I am back. Give me your worst headache. I am only offering once."

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"Gross, Ward. Gross," Darcy quips, rolling around Skye's chair to deliver her own plate and drop down into a seat. She shoves a forkfull of noodles and sauce into her mouth before answering Skye's question about the fruit.

"It's cake covered in a sugary sticky gloop made of berries. It's like candy. Try it, or no more frou frou. I will call the brewry, I swear to Monkey Jesus," she threatens on a level deadpan before quirking a brow at Ward.

"Wow... you do know you don't have to compliment me at all, if you have to work so hard at them, right, Fuckward?"

Quake has posed:
"Ew? You're kidding, right?" Because yellow snow. Yuck. "Isn't pee full of nasty stuff?" Though she does recall there have been instances where people have been forced to drink it to survive, though she thought that was a little like drinking sea water - ultimately counter-productive.

"Cake," Skye says suspiciously, because there seemed to be a lot of fruit hiding that cake. "I eat this, and it's not tasty, you know you've ruined any future thoughts of my eating fruit, right?" Serious enough she might actually mean it, though she stabs the stuff with her fork, transitioning from stir fry to compote in one fell swoop, letting the flavours mingle in her mouth as she ponders whether it is acceptable or not. "I guess it's not entirely evil," is the final verdict, and she goes back to her stir fry.

"Fuckward?" Skye giggles. "Ouch. That's awesome."

Grinning at him, Skye offers, "Well, Fuckward, there's a small matter of a Terragen source we need to beat Hydra to. Might involve some uncomfortable discussions with them. And, oh, my father is likely to come along, but we'll see about that. He's a bit of a handful." Totally amused. Though in the scheme of things, that one is her biggest headache, given May had the Punisher thing in hand.

Grant Ward has posed:
If the comment got to him, Ward has done his best to remain stoic and calm. It is not often he shows much of a reaction to much. And if it did get him, there was no way in a fiery pit of Hades he was going to give the satisfaction to either of the girls before him. "Fuckward. That's a new one. I like that. Has a certain ring to it. Fuck-Ward. Exepected from a roller derby reject." He sips the coffe and offers a somewhat fake grin. "It's clear you are drawn to me." He winks and offers a wider smile.

"Count me in. Sounds exciting. Terragen. Hydra. Your family problems." He casually shrugs and adds with a bit of a sarcastic tone. "Sounds like you need me. Come on say it. You need me on this one." Another small sip and words spoken from behind the rim. "Has arrow boy met daddy? That sounds like a deal breaker."

Darcy Lewis has posed:
Darcy holds up a hand to receive her high five from Skye for the new nickname, just before she eyes Ward again.

"Oh baby. So hawt. Can't take it. Must have your cock now," she deadpans before shoving another forkful of spaghetti into her face, smirking at Skye's not hate of the fruit and cake. She was unmoved by the threat.

"Hey. -I- haven't met daddy." Darcy complains.

Quake has posed:
Skye doesn't miss a beat as she high-fives Darcy. "And, win."

Grant she snorts at. "Oh, yes. Need you. So much. Baby, baby. Oh my god, you actually said all that with a stright face. If that's your flirting game, you were undercover way too long, because *I* did better than that with Hotshot."

Okay, it should be noted that she and Clint stumbled through something that could be called flirting, but was so painful that literally everyone around them was ready to lock them in a room until they figured the matter out. So Ward may wish to take Skye's commentary with several grains of salt.

"And yes, Clint has met my father." Cal kidnapped Clint. Clint did not like Cal. It was something of a point of contention between them that Cal was here at SHIELD and Skye was making nice with him. "You can meet him if you want, Darcy. It's not like I've been hiding him." Well, maybe. Kinda. "He's.. it's hard to describe. He's like a little kid, only with an unpredictable temper, and the strength of the Hulk to back it up. May was pretty much wanting him away from folks as much as possible."

Grant Ward has posed:
"Something tells me I wouldn't be the most strange thing you have ever put in your mouth." He raises a finger to gesture to some sauce on the side of her mouth." Oh yes he was being ganed up on and he was not about to lose."

"I will have you know my success with the ladies is legendary. You are looking at the 3rd runner up for homecoming king." His fork is set down as he seems to be intent on making his point. "I have broken the hearts of countless women all over the world and one I hope was a woman. A lot of vodka was involved. Don't ask."

"So let me get this straight. Dad of the year kidnapped Captain Longbow. You are now dating said Captain and trying to maintain a good relationship with Daddy Tantrum. Wow. And I thought my life was fucked up. He reaches over and stabs his fork into her cake. "Today on Jerry Springer. Dad kidnapped my bed mate and I hate vegetables."

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"And that's supposed to scare me how?" Darcy retorts to Skye about her father's personality. Sauce on the corner of her mouth and on her chin and some on her nose. Darcy eats spaghetti like no one's business. She just licks with her tongue, swiping some but not all of what Ward hinted at, before going in for another mouthful.

"Now dating? Where da fuk you been? They been dating for ages," Darcy defends her friend, her own saucy fork coming up to try to stab ar Ward's hand to prevent him from getting that cake. Grr!! Her cake!

Quake has posed:
"Oooo, I see you've played this game before, Fuckward. Point, you. Comeback, Darcy?"

"And we all saw that note on the bathroom wall, Ward. Forensics is about 99.9%sure it's your handwriting, but I have to say it's the one you're hoping was a woman that has me most intrigued."

There's a shrug, as she shovels more stirfry into her mouth, "Wrong order there. Hotshot and I were living together long before my father kidnapped him. That's why he kidnapped him - to get to me. He'd already tried to get my attention, but May intervened the once, and we thwarted his plans by rescuing Lumley the other time. He got desperate. And Clint isn't ready to forgive or forget yet."

Not that she blamed Clint.

Ward gets a smack on his hand for stealing her compote. "Hey. My fruity stuff. And vegetables are suspect. They grow in dirt."

See? She did too know something about them.

Grant Ward has posed:
Double attacked. A Darcy attack with a fork and a hand slap from Skye from the other side. All he wanted was a bite of cake. One little bite. Seriously, aint like Jolly Junkfood over there was rushing to eat it." The fork prongs meets the back of hand only to be pulled away to be slapped by the other. What follows is thus:

It is like a slow motion fight scene out of a Kurasawa movie. Fork comes in, meet hand, hand is pulled away only to be slapped by Skye's hand. Which in turn retreats to grab the fork, which is then quickly licked and stabbed back into the spaghetti, only then to swipe a finger across the cake and moving to insert the cake covered finger to the tip of Skye's nose. The whole action takes about 3 seconds.

Ward simply sits there and looks between the two of them. "Fuckward is a cake ninja." He reaches for his coffee. "And for the record...How long Clint has been putting his arrow in her quiver is none of my business."

Darcy Lewis has posed:
Darcy is not really a combat monkey. She can't track Ward's movement at all. So, she ends up staring blankly at the fork stabbed into her spaghetti before looking at Skye's cake covered nose. One more second and Darcy shrugs, leans over, and moves to try to lick cake off nose. Because she has long ago claimed Skye as one of her own. Licking something is how you lay claim, so... Darcy is just reasserting her ownership. Yup.

We're not going to comment about arrows and quivers right now.

Quake has posed:
Skye's nose is caked. Or iced. Or.. well, Ward succeeds. Skye actually laughs as she protests, "Hey! And damn you're good. Nice moves. You need to teach me some of that ninja-fu. You also have no proof I wasn't going to eat that cake." Berries and all.

However, Darcy. Nose lick. Blinking. "Hey! Didn't you do that ages ago already?" Laughing, still. Or again.

"Anyway, cake is yours, Fuckward. Me and my coffee need to finish working on that data encryption. You know where I live, both of you. Save me later if you feel the need."

And with that, Skye excuses herself.

Grant Ward has posed:
Did Darcy just lick the cake of Skye's nose. Yup. "Usually you have to pay double for stuff like that." He shrugs and raises his coffee, downing it fully and setting it down. "I just might. I just might." He slowly stands and looks to Darcy. "Agent Lewis, as always it has been a pleasure. I suspect you have to get back to your shift at Sonic..those burgers are not going to roll their way up to the cars themselves." He does offer wink with his words.

Darcy Lewis has posed:
Darcy smiles at Skye, sitting back proudly. "Gotta make sure you don't forget who owns your ass," is retorted before Darcy collects the fork stabbed into her spaghetti and... just returns to eating. A mental note is made to check on Skye in a few hours while she gives Ward a one fingered salute for his trouble.