6881/Texting is 4 Wankers

Texting is 4 Wankers
Date of Scene:	13 March 2019
Location:	Unknown
Synopsis:	Kate texts John, the return of a shirt is attempted, lines get crossed (in a couple of different ways) and there's a mixup of locations. Texting, am I right?
Cast of Characters:	Hawkeye (Bishop), Constantine

---

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
After her talk with JJ, Kate was left flustered, confused, and more than a little bit upset. Some of the upset was with JJ, but enough of it was with herself - in no small part due to the fact that she was confused about things.

What did she want, JJ had asked. How the hell did Kate know what she wanted? She'd not set out to like the man. In fact, John's suggestion that they be friends with benefits was really a laughable thing. She'd only really contemplated the thing, and ended up spending that morning with him, because... Well, she wanted to say out of defiance, and while that played a part in it, there was also that kiss. That whiskey kiss..

Ultimately, though, they were playing with fire, the two of them. Two people who were lonely in their own way, who weren't all that competent at relationships, who could ever so easily convince themselves that there was something between them. Something more than there really was.

The problem, Kate told herself, was that she liked him. And the sex wasn't bad either. That if..

"Oh, god, Kate. Stop it," she told herself, flinging herself down on her couch, and giving Lucky a glare. "Don't you even think about offering an opinion."

Lucky, for his part, thumped his tail on the floor. His mistress given a goofy, and loving look.

"It's her fault, you know. Telling me to go out and do that, and not actually meaning it. Just what was she thinking anyway? Doesn't she know I'm young and impressionable?"

Again, Lucky just thumps his tail.

Kate pulls out her cellphone and flips it open. John's number totally committed to memory despite the fact that she hadn't taken his card. Another glare for Lucky. "No comments, remember? It's a text, see?" Phone held up to show the mutt. "Totally safe. No chance of bumping uglies. Just a text."

Fingers flying over the screen:

TBH >> Hey. It's me. Got home safe. Thought you'd like to know. - K

Like their tryst hadn't been more than a week ago.

Constantine has posed:
John was knackered. That binding spell on the Enchantress had taken a lot out of him and he was presently going about recharging.

Which in John's world meant a bottle of Johnny Walker, a couple of pills and an old vinyl spinning on his record player: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WANNqr-vcx0

Stretched out on his couch, John sings along waving his bottle to the beat: "One pill makes you larger, one pill males you small. And the one's that mother gave you don't do anything at all..."

Buzz.

"What's that?" John asks looking around.

Buzz.

"Bloody hell."

His butt was buzzing. No wait, that was his phone. He pulled it out and check. He reads the message.

"Bloody hell."

Was he supposed to have called? He didn't think so. No, he was pretty sure. Not that he didn't think about it. Calling or texting, or just showing up at her door with a bottle of scotch...

All of them were very bad ideas as far as he's concerned, but here it was, a text. He stares at it a moment then types back.

JC >> Glad to hear it. Must have been a long trip!

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
Lucky gets a smug look, the phone held out to him again, "See? Totally safe. Utterly innocuous."

She really didn't care if it was or wasn't. The true advantage to texting was he was there and she was here and there was utterly no danger of them bumping into one another, even if it was definitely pushing the envelope of playing with fire.

Lucky, quite certain his mistress doesn't need him to dig herself a hole to lie in, curls up on the floor, tucking nose under tail, and eventually falls asleep.

TBH >> Huh? No. Just.. oh, I get it. Long trip. Haha. Because it took so long to get back to you.

Thinking 'smartass' and totally censoring herself.

TBH >> Yeah. Thought you'd want to know. You know, in case you were worried.

Fully aware she was babbling like an idiot here. "Smoooth, Katie. Smoooth. Now he not only thinks you're desperate, but an idiot besides. What is your damage anyway?"

Constantine has posed:
John took a drink while he waited for the return text wondering if this is what people did these days. Tapped into phones and waited for the other person to get back to them.

Well when in Post-Millenial Rome...

JC>> That's the joke, yeah. And should I have worried? Did drop you right into your flat right? Though was curious what the dog got up to eating. You were here for a while ;)

John looks at the message. "Here for awhile... Christ Johnny Boy, you in grammar school or something?"

He deletes... pauses, then with a growled, "Ah, bloody hell, too buzzed to be clever," he types it back and hits send.

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
TBH >> Duh. Friend took him. Remember? So. Much. Trouble. His girlfriend thought they'd adopted a dog.

TBH >> He's tried to steal Lucky from me before. I won him fair and square.

Oh, god, Katie. He doesn't care. Why are you typing this stupid crap anyway? You are not in high school, and you laughed at people like this in high school.

TBH >> You sent me to the right place. Uhm. Guess I should send your stuff back, huh?

She had stolen his shirt.

TBH >> And it wasn't /that/ long. What, are you one of those people who asks the person to bring them a bottle of water and remember to close the door as they leave, don't worry you'll lock up later?

Kate was sure there was some cult classic movie that made funn of that whole idea. Something about 'See, that's your problem. Somewhere between 30 seconds and all night is your problem.'

Constantine has posed:
JC >> Oh right. What's his face, the dishy archer. Won him? Lemme guess archery contest?

John really didn't care but in his current state it was fun to needle anyhow. Not that he had a clue what he was about right now.; but then he didn't know what he was doing when he stumbled into the bloody Watchtower, an' that worked out okay.

JC >> You could but the post has trouble finding me. Could always deliver it personally.

There was a smirk for the remark about the other, generally speaking that's exactly how it was, well other than the fact John had to walk people through the house to prevent them being sent to some random dimension or dropped off in the perfect spot to fufill their destiny.

JC >> Nah, just meant we got up to a lot.

He types a >:) but his pride gets the better of him and he deletes it. He wasn't that childish.

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
In her apartment, Kate laughs.

TBH >> No. Pizza. Lucky's full name is Lucky the Pizza dog. He liked me better. Silly story. Turns out we were both feeding the same stray. I was upset that dishy archer never noticed me, so I took the dog.

Ooo, there it is: she could always deliver it personally.

His shirt, as it happens, is flung over the back of her bathroom door. She thought about her closet, but that would invite touching it every time she went to get dressed, and it didn't seem right to crumple it up in a ball and shove it into a dark corner of the thing. Though, she /could/ have mailed it. Why hadn't she mailed it?

TBH >> Haha. Thought we agreed no more face to face. I guess I could shove it in your mailbox or something if you're worried about the post. Or send it C.O.D.

Constantine has posed:
John quirks a brow, getting up and moving to his record player to flip the album over.

JC >> Petty. I can respect that. Lucky (heh) he didn't steal it back.

He sets the needle back down on his record and lets it spin.

JC >> You feed your dog bloody pizza? Not sure that Cesar bloke would agree with that.

He means the Dog Whisperer. He is old like that.

JC >> Wouldn't work. Place is hard to find for people too. Best to meet on neutral ground, preferably with alchohol. And yeah, no face to face...

Several dirty thoughts come to mind but he plays it safe.

JC >> But just hold it against your back and I can take it from behind.

Okay maybe not that safe.

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
TBH >> He likes pizza!!!!

Kate puts a bunch of exclamation marks in there, totally impressing her indignation at the thought she was abusing poor Lucky. John can probably hear her exact tones of voice, too.

TBH >> Nuetral ground. With alcohol.

She reads on.

TBH >> Wait. Wut? What's this whole.. you did not just say you could take it from behind and still expect that I'm going to meet you somewhere public?

She's laughing at the joke, even as she's worried. That little flutter in the pit of her gut says she'd really like to go meet him somewhere.

TBH >> If you're really worried about it, I can stuff it in a box or something here. Or you know, leave it at Josie's for you. You know where that is, right? I'll even leave you money to pay for a drink for your troubles.

Constantine has posed:
JC >> Should look up projection sometime, luv.

John answers to the dog's love of pizza. Honestly the dog might really like pizza but he's just yanking her chain.

The rest has John laughing.

JC >> Ha. Somewhere private then?

He lets that linger a sec before he says.

JC >> Just teasing you. In my line of work we stick to the bargains we make. You got nothing to worry about. I'm bored, could do with a drink and a laugh. Besides, really want that shirt back.

He was being mostly truthful, though dealer's choice which parts were the lies.

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
TBH >> Projection? What's that supposed to mean? You're the one keeps making those awful jokes.

She wouldn't /mind/ seeing him again. Josie's should be safe enough, right? Though, it wasn't the kind of place she could use her father's card (yes, she was still using that, and feeling slightly guilty about it, too, not that that was stopping her).

TBH >> Are you buying?

Constantine has posed:
JC >> Projecting your love if pizza onto the dog. Get your mind out of the gutter Katie!

John shakes his head and leans against his couch waiting for a reply.

JC >> Sure. Luke's or that Josie's place? Give me about an hour I need to sober up some.

Of course John would need to sober up to go drinking.

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
TBH >> I'm rolling eyes at you, I hope you know. And you're weird. Do you care which?

Josie's was closer for her, but she supposed there was less of a chance of running into JJ or Matt at Luke's.

TBH >> I'll be there in an hour. Not waiting if you're late.

Has to sober up, she thinks. Sure.

Constantine has posed:
JC >> Sure you are.

John pushes off the back of his couch starts heading for the shower shedding clothes.

JC >> Well if you're not there I'm coming to your place.

The counter makes him chuckle.

JC >> And what's with TBH?

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
TBH >> If you're coming here, no sense my going to the bar, is there?

Kate hits send before she has a chance to think about what that just sounded like. It had been meant as a sassy counter-retort to his counter, but could very well be taken as an invitation.

TBH >> The Better Hawkeye, of course.

Even if as she's typing that out it occurs to her she has to stop doing that. That she needs to stop defining herself against other people, starting with Clint.

TBH >> One hour?

Constantine has posed:
JC >> Do you want me to come there?

John doubted it but he asked all the same.

JC >> Of course it does. Should have guessed.

He shakes his head.

JC >> One hour.

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
Did she want him to come here? It was one of those questions she'd been very carefully avoiding asking herself. Not just because seeing John in person was dangerous, or he'd know where she lived (c'mon Katie, he could look you up easily enough, and even if he couldn't, that's what PI's were for), but the thought of John *here* put all sorts of very naughty thoughts in her head. Most of them involving her bedroom, and well, quite frankly, she still had to sleep there.

Kate wasn't sure she needed images of John in her bed, let alone memories of the real thing, tempting though it were.

TBH >> One hour.

Yay, Katie, avoided that bullet, huh? She chides herself. Totally not answering the question really proved nothing, except that maybe he'd got to her.

But now she had an hour to get ready and get there. Rampant thoughts of: what the heck do I wear that says hey look at me, but I haven't missed you at all and nothing is going to happen, but you're going to regret it anyway.. running through her head.

Constantine has posed:
The question went unanswered and as John typed:

JC >> One hour.

He thought about showing up at her place anyhow. Waiting for when she got back from the bar.

The thought continued through his shower until he got dressed again and headed out, calling for a cab once he was outside the gates that stood around the house.

When the cabbie asked where to, he answers: "Lower East Side, New York."

Maybe he would go to her place.

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
An hour.

It takes Kate that long to shower and decide she's not going to dress to kill, because what the heck did she think she was doing anyway? She wasn't trying to get his attention - wasn't that what had gotten her into trouble with Clint in the first place, trying to grab the attention of some guy who didn't want to be involved with her?

Okay, in Clint's case, he didn't even realize she existed outside something like a little sister, and John clearly thought she was anything but a little sister (because otherwise, eww), but the facts were still about the same: Kate had no business trying to grab the attentions of some guy.

"Just what's wrong with you anyway, Katie," she asks her reflection in the bathroom mirror as she slashes a nuetral flesh toned lipstick across her lips. "You need to stop. You do not want to get involved with the man. You both agreed it was a bad idea."

Telling Lucky to behave himself, Kate grabs her coat and her keys and rushes out the door, heading to Josie's.



At Josie's Kate finds a seat and orders a drink. It's only when it's sitting there in front of her and she's looking at her cellphone, noting that 56 minutes had passed since the last text, that Kate realizes she's forgotten John's shirt back at her place. It's not like she can go back and get it at this juncture. 'Oh, damn. He's going to think this is on purpose. Some stupid attempt to entice him back to my place', she thinks. 'Oh John, ooops, I forgot it. Whatever will we do?'

Kate rolls her eyes at herself and takes a healthy swallow of hte beer she ordered. Oh well, maybe he'd buy her a drink anyway.

She could hope, right?

Constantine has posed:
John checks his watch, because he still wears such things. It'd been nearly an hour since he sent the text and he figured by now Katie would be getting worried.

John wasn't though, he was talking to Lucky through the door of Kate's apartment. "Who's a good boy? Eh, who's a good boy? You are mate. If it wasn't stalkerish I'd unlock the door and give you a pet, but I'm pushin' my luck as it is."

Some of Kate's neighbours walk past looking at the rumpled Englishman with his back to Kate's door and a bottle of scotch in his hand.

"What, you got to talk to dogs or they chew your stuff," he says by way of explanation of what he was doing.

The hurry on past.

Checking his watch and seeing that the hour is up he pulls out his phone:

JC >> Where are you?

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
Kate is still muttering to herself about forgetting the shirt when John's text comes through, causing her phone to make a humming buzz against the table.

"What the heck?" She peers at the phone. Yep. It's John. Asking where she is.

TBH >> Haha jerk. Sitting right here at the table. Don't make me turn around to see where you are.

Of course she turns, though, craning to see where he's hiding, expecting he's at the bar, laughing at her.

Constantine has posed:
John smiles broadly at the reply.

JC >> What at the table in your place? You locked the door, let me in!

Of course he knows she meant the bar, but that just made things more fun.

JC >> You telling me you didn't hear me sitting outside talking to Lucky. By the way your neighbours think I'm mad most like.

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
TBH >> Oh, ha ha ha. Really. OMG. You went to Luke's didn't you? John! We agreed to Josie's.

Actually, they hadn't. They'd had two offers on the table, but hadn't actually said *which*, and of course he'd gone to the wrong on---

TBH >> OMG. You are not at my place? John! Why would you go to.. Tell me this is your idea of a funny joke. You can come out of the bathroom now, or wherever it is you are hiding.

All the while being torn between being horrified that he might be at her place, and her neighbours were now going to be talking about her, and who /was/ that gentleman, if you could call him that. Okay, Mrs. Rodrigez wouldn't be like that. She was nice. She had the two kids and was pretty quiet. But the older couple didn't like Kate and her dog, or the Rodrigez kids. They'd made it clear they'd moved into the brownstone specficially because it /wasn't/ an apartment complex where they let in just anyone, looking at Kate in a way that suggested the landlord had let in just anyone.

They'd also not been terribly impressed with her office downstairs when she still had it.

Constantine has posed:
A normal person might start to wonder if he's really pushing the limit here, but not John, not after that many pills and gulps of Johnny Walker.

JC >> Nah, really at your place. Your neighbour with the kids looked nice. Live the next floor up, right?

Yes, John was really there. God help them both.

JC >> Want me to come to Josie's or let myself in.

Even he wasn't sure he was joking about the last one.

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
Kate groans loudly enough it attracts attention from a few of the regulars nearby. "Just got some bad news," she mutters, brushing any concerns aside as she texts back furiously.

TBH >> Why would you - nevermind. Because you're you. And what do you think I want you to do? No. Don't answer that.

Frustrated, she taps out more.

TBH >> Josie's, of course.

And then, embarassingly, she has to send,

TBH >> Only, let yourself in first. I forgot your shirt. It's hanging on the back of my bedroom door.

Totally not realizing her Freudian slip.

Constantine has posed:
John laughs at the slip as he gets to his feet and tucking the bottle in his pocket.

JC >> Bedroom door eh? What was the plan. Ooops left it at home better come back to my place to get it? I respect the effort, but I'm not that easy ;)

With a muttered word and a finger tapped against the lock John lets himself in, bending down to give Lucky some pets. "Now where'd your mistress leave that shirt eh?" he asks as he unabashedly snoops around her flat, only half-assedly looking for his shirt.

JC >> Christ did you rob an archery store?

There was so much bow stuff around.

JC >> Also, need more than beer, milk and cold pizza in your fridge.

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
TBH >> Bedroom? Who said bedroom? Don't you go in there!

Kate hastily reads her last texts to John and sees exactly who said bedroom, groaning to herself again.

TBH >> I meant bathroom. It's on the back of the bathroom door. Hanging on a hook. And no, I did not rob an archery store. That's my gear. Most of it used to be in my office before I had to give it up and what are you doing snooping in my fridge?

He would look. And of course she'd have no food in there. Then again, she almost always had no food in there. Pizza slices on the way to and from the office were really the bulk of her diet. It was shocking she had the physique she did. Oh, and Sunday dinners at her parents. She always ate well there, sometimes sneaking home leftovers.

Constantine has posed:
JC >> You said bedroom.

John does indeed peek in the bedroom but he only peeks. Not that he tells Kate.

JC >> Your bed is way less squeaky.

John, with Lucky at his heels heads to the bathroom and finds his shirt on the door and takes it down.

JC >> Got it. Want me to come to Josie's now?

He pushes open the door to Kate's bedroom tossing his shirt onto Kate's bed before heading back out to the living room.

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
TBH >> How would you know my bed is way less squeaky??

It was. Mostly by virtue of not being *quite* as rickety as his was, but how did he know that anyway. Not that she needed to ask. Of course he looked. Heck, he probably went into her room and was lying on the bed right now. Probably bounced up and down on it too, while typing that out. Just so he could say he knew exactly how it was less squeaky than his. Probably was planning some smarmy comment about the whole thing too.

TBH >> Just answer me this, do you have any intention of coming here, or should I finish my drink and just come back to my place? And if you plan on staying there till I get back, take hte dog for a walk. His leash is by the door. You have to pick up his poop after him. He likes the alley next a couple houses down.

Constantine has posed:
Kate's reply leaves John grinning. He was getting to her.

JC >> Just a guess?

Though it really was just a guess.

The next text gives him pause. Did he want to go to the bar. For all his teasing it was the safest bet for them both to walk away without their clothes coming off in the interim. They had decided to let that one day be that /one/ day.

He frowns, fishing out his lighter and toying with it as he thinks.

JC >> Split the difference? I walk the dog then come to Josie's. He looks like he needs it.

See he could be good.

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
Was she relieved? Or disappointed?

Kate wasn't sure which. Or if it was a bit of both. Sure, him coming to Josie's was safest, but was it what she wanted? JJ had asked her that very thing: What do you want, Kate?

Kate didn't have an answer then. She didn't have one now.

TBH >> Sure. Tell him it's a short one, though, or he'll make you walk around the entire block. He knows better. I'll take him to the park later.

There. She'd answered him. That was the answer that was best for them both, right? Though it was a good thing texts didn't carry tones. She'd decided she was disappointed. Even if every fibre of her being and intellect told her John was a bad idea, she was disappointed that the matter of her place or the bar had been settled with the one least likely to end up in a repeat performance of the morning after her drunken night at Club Lux.

TBH >> Half an hour?

Constantine has posed:
JC >> Sure thing.

Then walking back to Kate's bedroom he puts the bottle of scotch down next to the crumpled shirt. Yeah, he was playing with fire. He wasn't sure if he really wanted them to come back and find it, or if he hoped Kate would find it on her own when they parted way but there was only one way to find out.

He left the bedroom again grabbing the leash from by the door. "C'mon Lucky, mate, walkies."

JC >> See you in thirty.

And after giving Lucky his walk he's making his way through New York to Josie's.