6909/I volunteer as tribute

I volunteer as tribute
Date of Scene:	15 March 2019
Location:	Avengers Mansion
Synopsis:	Kitty attempts to visit Janet, finds a Wade and Steve instead.
Cast of Characters:	Captain America, Shadowcat, Deadpool

---

Captain America has posed:
Sometimes, the packages delivered to the Avenger's mansion don't make it all of the way to the desk inside the foyer. Sometimes, they don't even make it to the front door. This time, there's one forlorn Amazon package about the size of a Cookie Crisp cereal box sitting out by the front gates of the mansion. How it hasn't been stolen is a mystery, but may be due, in fact, to the receiver being listed as one 'Bruce Banner'. Hulk might smash whomever stole it, that must be the theory.

Steve walks out towards the front gate in his jeans and sweatshirt to fetch the parcel. It's cool tonight, but the lack of crisp chill bodes well for spring on the approach. He hums a quiet tune from his childhood as he meanders along.

Shadowcat has posed:
A brand new looking Toyota Avalon pulls up to the gates of the mansion. The window rolls down and Kitty Pryde leans her head out as she sees who is out there at the gate. "Captain Rogers," she calls softly, waving. "I was going to pop by and see if Janet was here. They said at the office she was heading this way. I wanted her to meet Lockheed," she says.

An orange calico cat hops up on the dashboard and looks out the windshield at Steve. "Is it ok if I park in there or do I need to find somewhere on the street?" she asks, glancing with apprehension at the thought of parking the car on the streets of New York her first day she has it.

Captain America has posed:
As Steve's unlatching the gate, he glances up as the Toyota comes to a halt next to the sidewalk. He recognizes the face of the driver and waves. The cat is spotted as well and he grins in amused perplexion.

"Dunno if she's home yet, but you can come in. Park the car alongside, in the driveway." Reaching up and onto a keypad on the interior wall of the gating, he speaks into it. The command unlocks the gating barring off the side driveway. "Come around to the front through the yard and through the front door." With instructions given, he takes up the parcel and locks the gate once more. Humming the same tune on the way back up, he enters the foyer and leaves the front door cracked for Kitty. His attention is entirely on the parcel itself, but even if he wants to open it, he knows better. "Banner'll throw a fit," he mutters with a grin to himself as he sets the box aside.

Deadpool has posed:
"You know, I spend a lot of time in scenes going in and out of bathrooms. Maybe I have too much fiber in my diet. Do you think it's excessive to eat a wicker furniture's worth of Deadpoolios each morning? I mean, even if you do really need the prize inside?"

It's the one, the only (could you imagine if there were more?!), Deadpool! He saunters out of the hall bathroom, toilet paper stuck to his left heel, and nonchalantly waves howdy.

"Howdy ho there, Avengerinos. What's the skinny and low down and all that jazz? Did my package come?" Wade asks Steve eagerly, upbeat, looking past him at the box with a point of finger.

Shadowcat has posed:
As Kitty is parking the car, and Deadpool is emerging from the bathroom, Jarvis's voice starts up as well. "Captain Rogers. I am detecting what I believe is an extra-terrestrial life form in the vehicle you admitted through the gate."

Said vehicle has now parked and Kitty climbs out. She leaves the door open and the cat makes a physics-defying jump, not so much in clearing the distance but in landing slower than gravity demands the cat should. The feline settles around her neck and Kitty heads for the door then.

"If she's not I can just head back out. Figured while I had him in the city, was a good time to introduce her since I'd mentioned him," Kitty tells Steve. She looks up, seeing Wade there. "Oh, hello Wade. Didn't know you were staying here," she comments with a little wave. She's grown a bit since they'd last seen each other. No longer the schoolgirl in appearance. Baby fat gone from her cheeks, cheekbones a little higher. The twenty-year-old would not be mistaken for a high schooler any more.

Captain America has posed:
The Captain pulls up short at the sound of Wade's voice echoing around the foyer. One glance over confirms who it is and his eyes fall to the hapless square of toilet paper. There's a quiet laugh, both fond and exasperated, and holds out an arm to try and suggest that Deadpool not reach for the package in question. He adds verbally, "Not for you, Wade, it's for Banner. He doesn't like people touching his things."

Still, the Captain turns in place upon hearing Kitty fully enter the foyer and he looks from the tamed calico and over to the Merc. He's surprised to hear of a connection between the two, at first, but by the sigh, he likely thinks he should have figured at it. "Still not sure if Janet's in. Just got in myself. You can stay a little if you want. Wade's not staying here. He's visiting," Steve's sure to add diplomatically.

Deadpool has posed:
"Oh, hello Kitty," Wade replies, in a perfect parrot of the tone Kitty used to greet him. "You're no longer a minor, right? Good to know. My rating can fully fly it's fucked up flag. Can I pet your pussy----cat?" Wade asks, pointing directly at the Lockheed. He looks brightly at Steve, as if to seek out positive reinforcement for adding the last word on. It's like he's in training. But there's no click sounds, so Wade just carries onward, reaching out for the cat.

But then, Steve draws attention, and Wade swings to look at him. "I could be staying here. You have the power to change fate. Align worlds. Move couches. Add pillows."

Shadowcat has posed:
Kitty Pryde glances at the toilet paper, mostly suppressing a smile. Though the suppression doesn't last long, as the cat breaths out a small puff of flame as Wade starts to reach for him. "Not a minor, but with a chaperone," Kitty tells him. She reaches up to pet the cat, then fiddles with a stud on his collar. The hologram around the cat drops, revealing a small purple horned dragon.

"Thank you Captain," she tells Steve. "I won't bother you long if she's not around." She looks back to Wade, shaking her head and chuckling softly. "Thank you for the Sentinel component, Wade. I understand you had something to do with it making its way to us," she tells him.

Captain America has posed:
The Captain in question is aghast. He's aimed this gimlet-eyed, open-mouthed expression at the Merc and, before replying to anything, follows it up with,

"Good god, Wade, //LANGUAGE!// In my house!" It's not his house, but the point stands because Steve said so. "That won't fly if you wanna stay here." He then looks back to Kitty and does a double-take at the sight of the changed cat -- not-cat, dragon, it's a dragon.

"Sorry, JARVIS, you were right," he comments idly to the household AI. "That's...definitely a dragon." Shaking off the surprise, Steve adds, "I dunno if Janet's in still, Kitty, sorry." He lifts a hand and lets it drop. "Haven't been upstairs yet. I can leave a message for her?"

Deadpool has posed:
"Oopsie," Wade says to Steve, one hand coming up to cover his mouth area of his mask, agast. "Hug of begging for forgiveness incominnnnnng," Wade says. At least there was warning, before he jumps sideways at Steve, trying to wrap his arms around the other man, including one heel intended to hook around an inner thigh. Wade the clingy hungger.

None of that stops him from talking to Kitty. "/Something/ to do with it? Was Logan really taking credit? Cause I found out about the place. Set up the mission. Got a /truck/. Invited his snickety ass along. And found the Sentinel butt at the site. The only thing I didn't do was drive the truck or cause all the Sentinels to wake up: Logan handled ALL those things," Wade prattles, talking with his hands rather excessively, yet without, ideally, letting go of his pouncee. "I mean, I said 'whoa snickt-poo, don't go near them,' and he was like 'you are the smartest bub, but I got to do this for reasons to be emo about', and then the Sentinels tried to murder him. I did take their giant ass though."

"So you're welcome. Yay, asses for everbody. Say, did you pinata it yet? I wanted to be there if you hit it with a stick. It had no opening I could find, so there were no enemas administered by yours truly." Wade's in a pleasant mood overall, which makes him chipper and extremely chatty, even for him. "I still want to pet your pet. Only moreso now, because it's a teenie-Smaug." A pause. "What, or if it's an alien.... Does it do anal probes?"

Shadowcat has posed:
Kitty Pryde motions towards Lockheed and then says to Steve, "Captain America, this is Lockheed. We've been together a long time. A valuable member of our team." Kitty smiles to the small purple dragon, who lifts his head towards Steve Rogers and then dips it in what might be thought a respectful manner.

Hopefully Kitty didn't distract Steve from the incoming hug from Wade. She winces a bit. "Actually I didn't really hear any details on the mission," Kitty tells Wade. "Logan doesn't talk all that much really," she tells him. Kitty raises a hand as if maybe to suggest something to Wade, but then changes her mind. If he didn't talk he'd probably find some other releases that might be worse.

"No pinata, sorry. And no probes for you. Though I do plan to cut a piece of the armor off the Sentinel... piece. And no, I'm not going to put the hole where you'd want me to," Kitty forestalls Wade, with a roll of her eyes and a shake of her head.

She looks back to Steve Rogers. "That's fine, I'll just send her a text and a picture. We can stop in another time she's about," Kitty offers.

Captain America has posed:
It's not that Steve didn't believe the hug was incoming. It was more that he thought holding up a hand between himself and Wade would stop it. But the Merc, happy as he is, continues and wow, that ankle-lock around his inner thigh! The Captain gets to attempting to untangle his arm from where it's tucked between Wade's chest and his own ribs. The other plants firmly against the Merc's face on the side and splays across it, not enough to prevent Wade from continuing to speak with everyone. It's like trying to remove an incredibly-friendly offspring of a burr and a sloth.

"Wade, get off," he grumbles. "Desist. Cease. At ease," continues Steve under his breath, still polite (and not incensed enough) to raise his voice and dramatically interrupt conversation.

"Nice to meet you, Lockheed." The interjection comes with a forced polite smile as he then tries to unlock Wade's heel from around his thigh with his half-trapped hand. "You can stop in whenever, Kitty, just buzz at the gate first. Or text Janet. Whatever works." The Captain doesn't mean to sound short, but then again, he is currently glommed by Merc.

Deadpool has posed:
"You know, that's what I like about you, Steve," Wade says, his tone warm, edged in playful. None of the weapons are drawn, or anything: it's all just harmless fun! "You're so tolerant here. Like, I'd really have to make an effort to phase you. I can just relax! Is this what superhero teams are about? Relaxing without judgey people being like 'your power is worse than eating shit, let me demonstrate how much I'd rather eat shit than look at you'." Wade sets his cheek directly into Steve's push-face hand, for a cheek-cradle.

"Sometimes I forget I'm terrible," Wade says, warm. "Isn't Captain America inspirational, Kitty?"

Shadowcat has posed:
Kitty Pryde watches Steve's discomfort as he tries to dislodge the costumed barnacle. "Fortunately for the Captain, I don't have to make much effort to phase him," Kitty tells Wade in a rueful tone. She reaches out and touches Steve's shoulder and suddenly there is no Steve as far as Wade is concerned. Arms and legs have nothing to hug as Kitty guides Steve backwards.

She makes sure none of Steve Rogers is overlapping any matter and then brings him back from the intangible state. "And he is inspirational," Kitty agrees with Deadpool. She turns to look Steve in the eyes. "You're inspirational," she tells him with a grin. "I'll text Janet, no need for a message. Good luck with your house guest," she tells Steve, giving him a wave goodbye. "Wade, best of luck to you," she offers with a wave to him as well. She fiddles with Lockheeds collar, turning him back into a cat for anyone outside.

Captain America has posed:
"Y'know, I'm going to get less tolerant here shortly," the Captain informs Wade evenly as he finds himself really having to fight to get the heel of the black-soled boot unhooked from his inner thigh. There's a minute pause and then a sigh from Steve, who pausing in his attempt to dislodge Wade. He opens his mouth to suggest that Wade do something opposing, like 'wouldn't it be fun to suggest see if you can rub your stomach and pat your head at the same time?!' Kitty's comment makes him look at her curiously instead.

"Phase?" he echoes before becoming a part of the verb. Suddenly, there is no more physical presence of Wade-snug and he's a few feet back. Steve looks down at his hands and self and then back to Kitty, his eyebrows nearly climbing into his hair. He seems to ignore the thump-sprawling of Deadpool on the foyer floor as he replies to her, "Thanks...Kitty. Yes, text Janet. I'll let her know you mean to text." He watches Kitty and cat-Lockheed depart and once the door shuts, he eyes Wade.

"What do you have to say for yourself?"

Deadpool has posed:
Suddenly hugging a ghost is a new one for Deadpool. He pitches towards the ground, of course, hitting hard on one thigh and opposite knee. He also dropped a hand to catch himself, which means he ended up in a partial-squatted hero-pose, one leg twisted outward. It looks very painful, a forced half-splits. Deadpool uses his lowered fist to shove himself back up, shakes out the knee as it heals the simple bruise.

There's a tilt-o-whirl of emotions with Wade: he could fling angry or stay the same or door A, B, or X. "Fine, I'll hug myself," Wade announces, with a wrap of arms around himself. "You're worth it," Wade whispers to another voice in his head.

"I want to stab her," Wade whispers at Steve after Kitty's out of earshot. It's a sort of forlorn statement, restless.

Captain America has posed:
"You shouldn't stab her," Steve whispers back, briefly taking the same tact if only to draw attention to himself rather than the departing Kitty. "Look," he then begins in a normal volume as he adjusts the lay of his sweatshirt across his torso. "I don't mind hugs. You forewarned me. But the boot thing? On the inside of the thigh? That's a negatory. Standing hugs are fine. Clinging hugs are less professional."

Having fixed the lengths of the hood's drawstrings correctly, he then glances over at Wade as he returns his hands to his pockets again. He's apparently expecting //something// at this point.

Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool stares after Kitty, as if imagining a variety of stabbing methods. He pets a knife at his left thigh with three fingers, pinky out. He does look back to Steve, though, taking in the explanation of hugs. In his way, at least.

"I wasn't really going for 'professional hug'," Deadpool admits. He also bends over to remove the bit of tissue from his heel, puts it in one of the belt pouches. No sense littering in the Avenger's hallway: that's how you don't get invited back.

"How do we feel about smooches and ass-slaps for doing a good job....?" Deadpool wonders, wandering into the mansion, expectant that Steve will come along with him. "I will accept both things," he says, with a gesture to his butt. And pointedly waits.

Or, you know, he could go stab Kitty.

Captain America has posed:
"Not gonna slap you, Wade." Steve just shakes his head. Rather than heading deeper into the mansion, he appears to head towards the kitchen. "I'm good for handshakes and shoulder-thumps, but that's about it. C'mon. There's a puzzle to finish," he offers over his shoulder.

The addition of, "Somebody bought more marshmallows while you were away," is added as clear bait to encourage the Merc to follow the Captain rather than galvant off into trouble with a far less inviting resident of the sprawling manor.

Deadpool has posed:
"I'm going to order pizza, too. What do you like on your pizza?" Wade asks, without issue with any of it, it seems. "So no slapping Wade. Check. Do you /accept/ ass-slaps?" Wade also asks, coming in for one--- but not actually executing. He'll wait for consent. He's not a force-ass-slapper. Unless maybe it's Logan. But that's part of their dynamic. Wade instigates stuff, and Logan stabs him a lot. Also: "Eh, the moment's passed. We'll revisit this." THEY SURE WILL.

"Puzzle~~! Yay!"