7626/Sidewinder's Bad Day

Sidewinder's Bad Day
Date of Scene:	25 May 2019
Location:	Hell's Kitchen
Synopsis:	Snakes On A Plane? What about snakes in a loan office?! And they're fighting extremely powerful people. Poor snakes.
Cast of Characters:	Spawn, Josef Forster, Superboy

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Spawn has posed:
    The truck is totaled, wrapped around a lamppost while black smoke billows up from the engine. The men, panicked, have invaded a small loan office, a collection of masked men in dark green now have temporary base of operations to hunker down while their leader is already barking commands and orders to everyone not to enter the small corner building. All they need is for the police and anyone else to stay far away until their getaway escape plan can arrive.

    Meanwhile, they have a collection of hostages who already have their hands bound, and who do not want to die to these men, not today.

Josef Forster has posed:
Josef Forster sits crosslegged on the floor, looking far more irritated than afraid and glowers over at the fellow hostage to his left, "I'll pay for dinner, you said. I just need a minute, you said. What could possibly go wrong, you said.....Screw you, Alex." He says as he reflexively raises his hand to flip Alex off, punctuated by the loud snapping of restraints, "Oops...Uh...Mr...Masked..Hostage taker...guy....I broke em....Again.....Is it ok if I just sit quietly in the corner? I dont think you've got anything that's not gonna tear everytime I get an itch." He says in a creepily genuine manner towards the nearest masked goon, likely causing more than a bit of consternation.

Superboy has posed:
Superboy was 'patrolling'. Which means he was flying high over New York to clear his head. There are so many super-heroes in the city he feels there is never much to do. In fact it has been a couple months since he stopped a mugging, and over six since the last genuine super-villain. Of course, it might also be he is not paying enough attention.

But the truck crashed against the lamppost does draw his attention. He figures at least he can check out for injured and make sure it is not going to blow up. So he lands close to the crashed vehicle and checks for people needing help, witnesses, and so on. And... he hears something odd from the loan office. He better check that out, too.

Spawn has posed:
    Though many of the goons were armed with stubby little submachine guns, the two more garishly dressed men in the center appeared to be unarmed. One short man(5'9) was dressed mainly in orange mesh under a sleevelss bodysuit of grapefruit red and light purple, a mask covering every inch of his face and making him look like some sort of monster. Between that and the wild cape with the massive collar, he looked...well, eccentric was a good word for it. He looked down at the unwitting hostage in almost annoyance, even as he shakily pulled a hip flask out of one of his big thigh-high purple boots. And the second he spoke, it was as if you could cut the thick Wisconsin accent with a knife.

    "Aww fer cripes sake...Copperhead, do me a solid an' get this guy tied up again, he's really chappin' my keister here."

    The other man, the man called 'Copperhead', was also dressed strangely. He was dressed mainly in a full-body 'snake suit' for lack of a better term, with a giant snake head looking like it was open and enveloping his head, though his face was bare and exposed to just about anybody. Green gloves, boots and briefs over the costume completed the outfit, and as he looked down at the blonde Asgardian hostage(though how could anybody know this man's divine origins), the tall figure never seemed to blink.

    "Yeah, one hogtied dumbassssss, comin' up, Ssssssssssidewinder. Honessstly, we should jusst wasste this sssssssssss...ssucker." By the end of that sentence he sucked in two lungs full of air.

    The second Conner made his appearance through the glass and partially broken business door, one of the goons immediately raised one of his guns and waved it wildly at the approaching teen.

    "NONO NO NO YOU GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE I'LL WASTE YA, BOSS, BOSS HE'S GOT AN S ON HIS CHEST, WHAT DO WE DO?!"

    Both Sidewinder and Copperhead looked up, Sidewinder's eyes widening. The smaller of the men seemed to be the ringleader, holding up both of his hands and speaking sternly.

    "Whoah-ho there, hotshot, ya don't wanna be crossin' that threshold. We got hostages an' we're very serious about it. Just stay over there an' hunker down fer us, ok? Whadaya say there, chief?"

Josef Forster has posed:
Josef smirks at Copperhead's slurring plea for big murder, apparently not overly concerned by the semi-credible villain's murderous impulse, "Now that's just mean. And here, I was gonna give you a reference on someone to see about that speech therapy you've always wanted."
     And then one of the goons starts peeing himself at the sight of a Superperson. Josef's smirk widens slightly as everyone else looks to Conner, "Eh, nevermind. You wont be talking for awhile anyway." Before Copperhead can turn to retort, Josef springs up with an uppercut, lifting the snakeman well up off the ground, catching his ascent and whipping him like a boomerang towards Sidewinder. Because restraint is for people who DONT have epic hair.

Superboy has posed:
Superboy smirks hearing the thug alarm. Yes, he has a S on his chest. Today he is even wearing the red and blue outfit instead of just a black T-shirt with a red S. Mostly because he was going to Metropolis later, to check out with the League about Superman injuries.

Gotta look the part for the big bro.

Smirk is gone when Sidewinder warns about having hostages. Conner has no X-Ray vision to verify, so he concentrates into trying to hear the people inside, moving cautiously closer to the door. "Hey look, I am not going to do anything but..."

Did he hear some punching? That definitely sounded like punching! He burst inside, trying to stop whatever is going on. The young man expects one of the hostages would be resisting or something dangerous, so he is moving quickly.

Spawn has posed:
    Copperhead was a trained fighter and was a 'world class assassin' in his own words. But the being blindsided by what was ostensibly a Demigod was a tall order for anyone to deal with. The uppercut from Josef hit with authority and the tall, gangly figure was sent launching through the air on a direct collision course for the smaller and more garish Sidewinder...and yet, instead of the two crashing into each other, the only thing waiting for Copperhead was the wall. He hit with a thud and slid down like a bird who'd crashed into a sliding glass door.

    Strangely, the next anyone saw Sidewinder moments later, he was standing a good few feet behind the running and rushing Conner, snapping his fingers and barking orders to his men.

    "Ohhh, these boys ain't playin' fair, light 'em up an' let 'em know how Crimesnake does things!"

    Was 'Crimesnake' their criminal organization name? Was that the best they could come up with? Were they afraid of lawsuits from Hydra or Cobra if they got too creative? In any case, two goons in green were aiming their guns at Superboy and opening fire wildly, meanwhile one armed thug behind Josef was bringing the butt of his own gun down, wanting to smash it against the unruly hostage's skull and hopefully knock him out like a light. Presumably, this was not going to work the way he was hoping.

Josef Forster has posed:
Upon seeing Superboy smash into the building, because tanking walls to the face is what MAWHN do, Josef excitedly exclaims, "Oh my god, are you Batman!?" Causing Alex to droop his head while the other hostages just look confused, "...God damnit, Joe..."
     As the goon goes to smack Josef in the back of the head...he connects, with a low crack! This tilts Josef's head slightly, causing him to turn with annoyance, the butt of the gun flaking off bits of broken plastic from the impact. Before he has the opportunity to try plan be, Josef picks him up by the face and flings him like a lawn dart towards the gun toter, already moving to put the line of fire at him away from the other hostages.

Superboy has posed:
Superboy used the door, mind you. If it was closed, well, it is not anymore. Likely it is not going to be closed anymore. Still, doors are cheaper than walls. He has heard enough complains already.

"Guns? Please," he just stands there and takes a few bullets to the chest, to leave clear he is really a card-carrying member of the Super-fam. And definitely -not- Batman. "Not drop... hey!" He turns to glance at Sidewinder. Maybe a speedster? "Crimesnake is your name. Well... I have heard worse. Once or twice." Pause, "anyway, is that truck yours?" He points.

Spawn has posed:
    "What? No no, I'm not Crimesnake, I'm Sidewinder!"

    As the ridiculous costumed man continues to insist, in the background, Josef is tearing apart gun-wielding thugs with an ease that should have been frightening to watch, even as others closer to the front of the shop were demoralized by Conner being a bulletproof avatar of justice. Sidewinder, in his ridiculous cape and costume, was counting his options and not seeing many that he liked, and was considering making a break for it when one of the thugs saw an alternate solution. Dropping his smg, he pulled out a small simple .22, and had it pressed against a tied up mother, with her children there watching in horror. The thug spoke, nervous and desperate, and seeing no other way out. Why was it that the stupid ones also happened to be the mean ones?

    "Hey hey hey, both'a you assholes just stay right there an' don't do nothin' else, or else I'm gonna blow this chick's brains all over the wall, get 'em all over these kid's faces, bet they'll hate that! Ha ha HA!"

    He wasn't even making sense, just looking around with wild crazy eyes visible under his vaguely snake-themed ski-mask, so nervous and so focused on the two powerful lads in front of him...that he didn't see the shape drop from the ceiling behind him.

    That shape seemed to be 'cloaked' and the same color of the ceiling and wall, until it morphed and changed into a dull dry red. The shape grew taller and taller, the red unfurling until it was swirling around something very ominous looking, with two glowing green eyes, glowing so bright they were illuminating the entire room just about. The hostage taking goon had no idea, had no idea that this malevolent shape was right behind him. But, he was likely going to find out very soon.

Josef Forster has posed:
As Sidewinder insists his name is cool, Josef calls out to his protests as casually as if he were just in the other room grabbing a slice of pizza, "You're the map from Halo? I always liked Blood Gulch better!" That's cold, man. As the thug decides 'oh yeah, I haz hostagezses' and takes one, Josef continues to snark, even as he complies with the threat, "Who do you think you are, Shocker? He tried that exact thing last week. Now his hands are broken. You really think a numpad lister like /YOU/ is gonna make out better than he did?" And then the ceiling pukes out a blob, which turns to dried Kool-Aid, which turns into the unliving embodiment of the nineties itself. Josef's eyes widen slightly in surprise as he looks behind the panicked thug, "....Huh...I wish I could call that weird, but this /IS/ New York..." Cover PERFECTLY preserved, great job Joe.

Superboy has posed:
Superboy was talking to Sidewinder thinking he was the dangerous one, so the hostage-taking is a nasty surprise. It doesn't help the thug in question seems pretty nervous. "Calm down, man. I am not going to hurt you. And look, if you kill that woman you are going to jail forever. Why don't you just leave? It is not as if you are a super-criminal and with the snake guys here... uh..." someone else is coming. And Conner doesn't have a good poker face.

"Hey," he turns back to Sidewinder, if the snake villain is still there, "you tell him to drop the gun, if he fires it would be your fault because he is one of your men, right?"

Spawn has posed:
    As it turned out, Sidewinder was not where Conner originally looked. Instead, he was knelt down beside the still very dazed and unhappy Copperhead, Sidewinder's cape draped over the crumpled form. After a frustrated sigh, the two were gone in a flash of blue light and the two were officially vanished. Which wasn't good, because their truck full of stolen goods and stolen money were still in a side-room here, impossible to get to just right now.

    But near the two powerful young lads, the final conscious thug was slowly realizing that all was not well in his immediate vicinity. Horrified, he looked wide-eyed over his shoulder as three pairs of chains immediately and silently snaked and wrapped tightly around the man's gun-holding wrist. The sounds of bones snapping was immediate as that gun was dropped into a waiting black-gloved hand. The figure remained stood there as the edges of his ragged cape swirled and moved on its own accord, even as the former hostage had taken her kids and was booking it at light speed back home. Moments later the chains were released and the former goon dropped hard to the floor in the fetal position, clutching at his very injured wrist and hand. And from the figure in the cape, an impossibly deep voice was heard.

    "They never learn. Not a single one."

Josef Forster has posed:
Josef looks unimpressedly at the crumpled goon, shaking his head with contempt, "Yer tellin me. I got crushed by half a fuckin bank last week, and somehow people still think trying to rob me is a good idea." He says as he glances up to the Spawn. An awkward moment passes before the obvious happens, ".....Oh my god, are /YOU/ Batman!?" Josef excitedly calls out. Meanwhile, in the corner struggling to get to his feet, Alex calls over, "I hate you so much right now, Joe."

Superboy has posed:
They never learn.

"That is a very depressing idea, man, I am sure there is at least a ten percent thug that learn. Or maybe a seven percent," he is trying to come up with an example, but he never talks much with the super-criminals' minions.

Besides, Spawn is kind of unnerving. He is probably one of those magical dudes. Definitely not Batman. "I better call the cops," he mutters, pulling out one of those brand new Starkphones from his belt. Luckily this time the bullets missed it.