7895/Up Titans Creek without a Damian.

Up Titans Creek without a Damian.
Date of Scene:	16 June 2019
Location:	Living Quarters, Titans Tower
Synopsis:	Rae learns a little more about Colette. Colette learns nothing, as usual.
Cast of Characters:	Stardust, Raven

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Stardust has posed:
    The day is not quite at an end, at least for those who have things to do to keep them from an early night. The tower has been blessedly quiet for the last few hours. With some of the newcomers, associates, waifs and strays that have been hanging out at the tower in recent days, that doesn't happen all that often lately.

    Colette drifts up the open elevator shaft and walks into the room, yawning. "Anyone here?" There's no immediate response. The room appears to be empty. She strides over to the sofa, slings her backpack off her shoulder, shucks her jacket, and flops down tiredly into comforting softness of the seat.

    "Nobody? There could be pizza. Or something." Colette's efforts to attract attention don't appear to be very serious, she's not calling over the comm, or even speaking above a regular talking voice. She rubs her eyes, and plucks something out of her hair. It appears to be a bit of tree. She puffs out her cheeks and sighs. "I'm hungry," she tells nobody.

Raven has posed:
    If the day is coming to an end for most people, then Raven's day is just beginning. Exactly how long she's been up is a question for debate, but it's probably less than an hour. Considering that when she arrives, Raven looks essentially the same as she always does. It's the usual affair, of course. Colette arrives, and the living quarters are altogether empty. Barren. Dark, save for the soft light of the setting sun filtering through the tinted windows of the tower.

    Then, quiet enough that a pindrop could be heard, Raven arrives at the coffee machine. When did it start brewing? Was it brewing when Colette entered? The blonde didn't check. Either way, the only indication that Raven is both awake and present is that rather suddenly, the sound of a cup of coffee being poured can be heard over the din of the tower, which at this point is altogether muted.

    "If you're hungry, eat. Whining about it does nothing."

Stardust has posed:
    "I wasn't whining. I was commenting. I haven't had a chance to eat anything since... well I grabbed a bagel at lunch. That's all I've eaten since yesterday." Colette doesn't turn; she's used to Raven's random appearances by now. She continues picking bits of tree from her hair. "Hi Rae. Don't suppose you'd care to pour a cup for me, would you?"

    Colette's hand moves towards the controller in the arm of the sofa that would allow her to switch the main monitor over to TV mode, but changes her mind and pulls her hand slowly back, as if doing so reluctantly, and folds it on her lap. "I'm fine thanks. How are you, Rae? I haven't seen you for a while. Our schedules don't seem to mesh all that well. Maybe that's intentional on your part."

    Maybe it's the aforementioned lack of food that's keeping her from being her normal energetic self. Simply being tired doesn't normally stop her from bouncing off the walls. No... there's something wrong. Raven doesn't even need to stretch her empathic muscles to tell. Colette actually seems to be a bit down. Apparently this is possible for her after all.

Raven has posed:
    "You could have fooled me." Raven begins, holding her cup and turning from the machine. She raises a brow as she looks over Colette's seemingly depression-laden, languid form. Her expression remains highly neutral as she seems to consider something for a while. Frankly, Raven is pondering shattering the delicate balance of this situation- Colette is sad, and Raven is happy that this means Colette is quiet.

    However, Raven also doesn't really want to tolerate this situation. Something seems to have her teammate depressed, and Raven isn't going to let that continue. Especially because, unlike everyone else, Raven can -feel- it. This turns her expression just slightly more grim, and after a moment of silence, Raven speaks.

    "You don't seem your usual self. Normally, you don't fly through a tree to get here. I can... Sense that something is wrong. You do not have to talk about it."

Stardust has posed:
    "We're wrong. The Titans." Colette holds out a twig. "And I didn't fly through a tree. I got punched through it. That's different. If I'd flown through it, that would have been my fault. I generally pay more attention than to fly through trees, despite what /certain people/ think. Besides, /certain people/ don't seem keen on me flying fast enough not to have plenty of time to spot and get out of the way of any inconvenient trees. Or planes, or skyscrapers, or whatever else it is they think I'm likely to crash into."

    Colette turns, finally, to look at Raven. "The way you say 'you do not have to talk about it' kind of sounds like encouragement. I mean, encouragement not to talk about it. Don't worry Rae, I won't burden you with my concerns. I know you have enough on your plate already. In exchange, do I get that cup of coffee? And how are Rae things lately? Not that you have to talk about it either. You know that already. But actually... " she shrugs and turns back to stare at the blank screen. "...I'd kind of like to know."

Raven has posed:
    "Well. That... Is wrong." she states, taking a step or two forward and handing- or, at this point, offering- the cup she had prepared to Colette. There is another silence that follows, and Raven seems more... Passive, at the moment. Normally, of course, she's as sardonic as can be. At the moment, though, as Colette seems genuinely sad, Raven doesn't hold any interest in making that situation worse. Which, frankly, might be troubling. Raven is... Being Nice.

    Despite that that might be unsettling, Raven also seems to be uninterested in letting that sensation settle in. "That is because it was. You do not -have- to talk about it. But it might help, if you do." There is another pause, but this one is more to let Colette reflect. "There is a great deal to unpack. That would likely be a good place to start. You could begin by telling me who certain people are. At the end of the day, sarcasm and passive aggression does not help you, despite how good it might feel."

Stardust has posed:
    Colette takes the offered cup with a smile, but the smile flickers and fades as she looks away. She feels she may have been too hasty dismissing Rae's intent - but then that would have been the meaning Rae would have put on things normally, wouldn't it? Sardonic indeed. She gives a barely visible nod of her head, then takes a sip of her coffee, more to give herself time to think than anything else.

    "The 'certain people' are the idiots hanging out in my head. I'm fairly... no, I'm very sure that they are holding out on me. I mean power-wise. I can fly faster when I go higher up. Supposedly that's because there is less air resistance, but it can't make that much difference really. I mean... " she Colette half-shrug puts in another appearance. "There's a lot of..." air quotes... "'It's control that's important Colette, not speed.' And I don't buy it. They're stopping me. They don't trust me. But of all the things... flying? I mean... yes... no. Shut... " she gives an exasperated sigh. "Supposedly it's about energy. Flying takes lots of energy and my body is not yet familiar enough with what they call 'the link' to... I just feel sure they are holding out on me, and it's frustrating. What more do they want from me? I don't have to be here, I don't have to be doing this. But that's..." Colette waves a hand around in the air. "It's not really the thing."

    Colette relaxes back into the sofa and sips some more coffee. "I guess I'm just frustrated with how things have been going here since Damian took off. I feel like we don't know what we're doing. Don't have any direction. I always wondered why he ended up being the team leader. I mean he's the youngest. But I think now I know. I mean... who else?"

Raven has posed:
    "The point of the Titans isn't JUST to do good things." Raven interjects, somewhat, in some ways, cutting off the last point regarding Damian's departure. That is a wound that is open, that Raven cannot close. Instead, she wants, for a moment, to focus on the other problem. "We are here to teach younger heroes to BE heroes. Part of that is learning. In this case, though, I think it may be wise to ask of these haunting specters the question of -why.-" Raven's hands, for the moment only -slightly- marred by the charcoal of more sketching, find themselves sheathed in the pockets of her hoody once again.

    "The question of -why- you are not yet familiar with the link to use more energy. The question of -why- precision is better than speed in the instance of heroism. The question of -why- you have had access to this power for so long already, but are not yet ready to consider yourself proficient enough to use it to its full capacity. Is it a matter of their training, or is it a matter of your attitude? At this point, I do not believe it to be the latter."

    "As well, the most important thing we may need to do, in this case, is find someone whose abilities are... In some way close to yours. A sort of super-tutor, if it needs a term. Nobody in our roster is... The same, or close to it."

Stardust has posed:
    "The control over speed thing..." Colette looks into her cup as she speaks. She's making a concession and doesn't quite want to meet Rae's eyes when she's doing it. "I have to admit I see their point. When this all started for me, well. Suddenly being told I could fly. That was the cool part. Flying really is a lot of fun." She looks up with a grin, her natural positiveness bubbling to the surface for a moment, but she lets it subside.

    "They taught me to fly extremely slowly. In two directions at once. Upside down. When I fight, I'm flying. Half an inch off the ground, using my flight power to balance myself at impossible angles, change speed unpredictably, things like that. I admit that would never have occurred to me. And it's effective. Two years ago I had no idea how to fight. Couldn't throw a punch. A year ago with that Red X thing, Robin had to pull every trick he knew to lay a finger on me. So..." She shrugs another half shrug and falls silent for a few moments.

    Colette looks up, looks at Raven with a slightly embarrassed expression. "So honestly? They were right. I've got that mentor, built in. They know my abilities far better than I do. And they've had... between them they have been doing this for tens of thousands of years. And they say it'll take me at least a decade to learn to get in sync with this thing, if it ever even happens. If I'm capable of... the thing is Rae, how can I argue with them? With that knowledge, that experience? But I don't /trust/ them. They're holding out on me. They even admit it! But they just say 'Sorry Colette, there are things it's too dangerous for you to know right now'. How can I argue with that if I don't know what they're referring to? It just... it doesn't feel good. They're basically saying I don't know what I'm doing, aren't they?"

    Colette's eyes turn towards the dorm corridors. "That's the problem, I guess. I don't feel like they are wrong. But then we have all these new people turning up. Danger, Autumn, Negasonic now. Kian, maybe. That's good, right? New blood. But who's mentoring them? Who's teaching them to be heroes? We're down a Robin. Vorp's off again. Moon Moon is too grumpy. Kori is too busy sunbathing. You have your own issues. So... me? That's..." She looks back at Raven, frowns, and takes another drink of coffee. "It just seems like a bad idea all round."

Raven has posed:
    "When I..." There is, for just the briefest of moments, an inability for Raven to properly hold Colette's gaze. Then, after that momentary loss of face, Raven resumes her stoic expression. "I've told you part of this story. When I was younger, there was... An incident. I have told you that much. The important detail here, however... Is that the trigger for the incident was not some... Traumatizing event. It was a matter of... Forbidden knowledge. Knowing what I am, what I came from, was enough for me to seek out things that were better off not known."

    Raven turns away from Colette, and makes her way back to the coffee machine. There is a process of course, involved in making more coffee. Raven almost seems to be doing it as a form of busy-work. "There is such a thing as knowledge that should not be shared. Things someone cannot know, or should not know. You are not... It is not because you are not good enough, or that you never will be good enough. It's more that... There are things that are dangerous to know. If these specters have thousands of years of experience, they probably have experienced hundreds of opportunities to teach others how to harness the powers you have... Which means that if there is something they they are not telling you, it is not a matter of them doing so maliciously."

    "The world is full of bad ideas. I do not know who should lead, if anyone should. We may need to decide amongst ourselves, but... There will not be a candidate who does not have... Issues. We are not invited to the Titans based upon our stability."

Stardust has posed:
"That's what I hate about it, Rae." Colette speaks quietly. "You're right, that they are probably right. That doesn't make it feel any better. Though I'm not sure you're right about the good enough thing. I mean Ash... Ash is the one who generally talks to me. He is - rather he WAS - human. Died about sixty years ago. I guess from their viewpoint that's basically yesterday, so they think he's the one who'll understand me best. You know what his assessment of me is? 'Better than expected.' Sounds good right? Until you press him on it and he admits that means that he expected nothing good and I haven't completely disappointed him yet."

    Colette finishes her coffee and puts down the mug, staring out the window. "It feels like being back at school. Like I'm being tested, but they won't tell me what the test actually is, and they make me take the test blindfold. And I don't even want to be there, because I'd rather be on stage at some interesting little club somewhere, singing. Which I'm actually /good/ at, rather than... this. Being really good at being punched is not my dream. "

    Colette lets the burbling of the coffee machine fill the silence for a few moments. "Sorry, Rae. I didn't mean to lay this onto you. It's petty. I'm pretty sure that whatever things I'm not supposed to know are nothing compared to your experience. I mean it's about endangering me, not endangering..." she struggles for a moment. "Other people. But maybe if you'd known more about yourself, you'd have known what not to poke at. Maybe that's true with me too, I dunno. "

    The view is forgotten, and Colette turns in her seat to lean over the back of the sofa and watch Raven at the coffee machine. "Anyway, I think the important thing is we need to be there more for the new guys. Just... don't leave it all to me, okay? I don't know what I'm doing. I'm pretty much the least experienced of the core group, you know? It's weird having them look to me for answers. I feel out of my depth. You're the smart one, not me."

Raven has posed:
    Raven stands at the machine for a time, setting her hands onto the counter and spending a moment in contemplation. Colette's statements do not fall on deaf ears, however. She is just... Considering the nature of her response. Everything with Raven is so... Measured. There is always a moment of contemplation, always a pause. Raven -thinks- about everything she says, except when she's being snarky. That's always so blindingly quick that it often lampshades how calculated she can be.

    "The nature of knowing something of that... Weight, was what caused that situation. Knowing more was dangerous, not knowing less. The nature of these specters... They may be lacking in the aspects of their personality that made them feel compassion. There are people that I know that might be able to remove the filter of death from these personalities. That might make this endeavor of learning more... Palatable."

    She turns, then, stepping back to the couch. Her cup of coffee is brewing now, so she has to wait before she can have the same catharsis of caffeine as Colette. "I am always here." That is more gloomy than it probably was intended to sound, but Raven has difficulty hiding that emotion. She has been alone a long time. "If there are others that need help, I am always available- but learning to ask for help is one of the first, and most important, parts of being a Titan."

Stardust has posed:
Colette tilts her head thoughtfully, and rather suddenly her lips twist into a smirk she's obviously trying hard to stifle. A laugh may have been brewing there, alongside the coffeee. "I'm probably making them sound worse than they are. By the way, they don't like being called spectres. They do feel compassion. Or at least they act as if they do. And they kind of aren't dead. I mean the originals are dead. As far as I understand it, this... thing, basically takes a back-up. None of them remember their own deaths. Like they just wake up one day in the... in the place they go. Um. It's called the Archive. Amazing place. And that's how they know they must have died. So thanks. But I think it's more about being perfectionists with thousands of years to learn inhuman patience rather than being compassionless assholes. Except for Ash. He's just a straight up asshole. And Australian, which makes it four times worse."

    Colette turns around and settles back onto the sofa as Raven finishes at the coffee machine for now and moves back over. She folds her arms up behind her head, looking comfortable. The uncharacterstically down mood seems to have passed. "You're right about that. Learning to ask for help. I've seen Moon Moon drag himself into the medical room on a broken leg, doesn't even occur to him to ask someone to lend him a hand. It's... I guess it's not an obvious lesson. I mean pretty much the first qualification for being a Titan is being strong, in some way. Makes you think you don't need help. Guess the problem is that someone needs to teach the Titans that they need help. Like Autumn. The lantern. I try to warn her about the dangers of what she's got. She takes it as a criticism. I can't seem to get through to her that I'm trying to offer to help. Or... you know, that other one." Something appears to occur to Colette, and she pulls her backpack over to herself, unzips it and starts fishing around inside. "You know. The goth one. Absolutely hates to open up to people enough to admit that she might need help. Oh yeah, you." She winks at Raven, and holds out the item she'd fished out from her backpack. A memory stick.

    "Here", Colette offers. "I made this for you. Program for the Danger Room. Yeah I remember what you've said about it, not suitable for the type of training you need. This isn't for training. I had an idea. It's the mountain top from Robin's ninja scenario, but no ninjas. It takes the control channel audio input and feeds it into the sound cancelling routines. Which means you have to kick the red rock to deactivate it, it ignores voice commands. Also means that it's really, really quiet in there, however much noise there is in the Tower. I thought you might find a use for it. You know, when you meditate."

Raven has posed:
    Raven is silent during the explanation. It gives her an understanding of the nature of Colette's 'affliction', if it can be called that. HOwever, the last couple of lines in the portion about people who don't ask for help seem to do a little more than upset. In fact, she seems... Mildly angry. After all, Raven -did- ask for help. It was the most grim of tasks to ask for help with, but it was a rather... Intense level of opening up. She doesn't seem to be happy to be told that she doesn't ask for help- or that she hesitated. Knowing more about Raven- in many ways, -helping- Raven- is dangerous. She doesn't let people into that lightly.

    Still, Raven keeps that below the surface. Instead, she focuses her attention on the memory stick that Colette offers her. She doesn't speak while she accepts it, instead looking at it for a while as if it required some level of contemplation. Then, she slips it into the pocket of her hoody. "Thanks." she offers- not exactly with a sarcastic air to it, but Raven isn't exactly great at showing gratitude, either.