8149/Surprise Party! Witch Cake is the Best Cake

Surprise Party! Witch Cake is the Best Cake
Date of Scene:	02 July 2019
Location:	Unknown
Synopsis:	In which Darcy gets a cake.
Cast of Characters:	Darcy Lewis, Piper Halliwell

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Darcy Lewis has posed:
Darcy had been looking for the RIGHT cake. She'd tried the bakery in SHIELD's cafeteria, but... welll.. work cake. For the kind of party she had in mind meant that.. well.. she needed something more that just the same ol' cake from work. She needed.. The Cake. So, out sourcing it was!

She spent days visitng bakeries, not impressed by flavors or decorations or time frames... Especially the time frames. The party was very quickly approaching, and Darcy was trying really hard NOT to panic. Trying not to panic means finding a bar... in Avalon... and pushing into a stool and dropping her face to her arms.

"I give up. Never going to find the RIGHT cake, ever. I'm doomed. I'm a failure. It's going to be a crappy ass Walmart cake now. FUck."

Piper Halliwell has posed:
Piper Halliwell watcheds Darcy come in and lament on not finding a cake. That alone gets her interest as she pauses cleaning the bar. "Welcome to P3" Piper says. "Technically we're closed, but you don't care about that. You really, really need a cake" she says, listening to Darcy's lament. "Well" she says dragging the cloth over the bar in front of her. "What cake do you need?"

Piper's half temped to look up the number of a bakery but she's intrigued.

Something's got this woman in a frenzy about a cake. "Is it a big occasion you need a cake for? I mean, that's an educated guess, though she's feeling bad for Darcy. "You want a coffee or anything?" she asks. She's not dumb enough to get this girl drunk and looking for cakes. That,she knows, is how people get those swirly squiggly cakes that look like a spider went to art class, went on an all week binge drinking session, staggered through a pot of paint for each leg, then Bambi'd its way over the cake, table, floor, hands and anything else in between.

Piper though is compassionate and looks genuinely sympathetic. "Listen, what's this cake for and how good does it have to be?" Piper asks. "I'm a chef. I can do this cake if you tell me who it's for, who you are, and how good it has to be" Piper explains, sliding a sheet of paper and a pencil from under the bar, onto and down said bar. She's helpful. And a touch eager it seems....still Piper hates to see anyone in P3 in distress. "I do agree though. Walmart cakes are out the bottom of the barrel....and digging down with a backhoe then dropping the cake in that hole" she says with a highly sarcastic voice, or, her usual opinion of Walmart....everything.

Darcy Lewis has posed:
Darcy looks up, glasses askew in front of her green eyes for a moment before she pushes her glasses back to rights.

"You're... a chef?" she asks, almost numbly before a huge bright smile blosoms, reigned in only by the fact that she's had her hopes dashed one too many times.

"It's an office party. A 4th of july office party. It's also a double birthday party for two of my bestest friends who couldn't be more dissimilar. I'm Darcy Lewis and I work for SHIELD. Which means ther will be a ludicrious amount of people, probably with super powers or crazy metabolisms or both, at least one god, probably an angel, more super spies and ninjas thatyou can shake a shit at.. and two super soldiers... the cake is for one of them. Wait, let me start over. Hi. I'm Darcy. I need a cake for a hundred or so. Three-way themed. One part 4th of July for SHIELD, one part happy birthdya for Captain America, and one part happy birthday for a foul-mouthed hacker that forgets basic shit like eating and showering."

This is why Darcy can't find The Cake.

Piper Halliwell has posed:
"Alright" Piper says slowly. "I'm Piper Halliwell. You may have heard of P3, or my catering business" she offers. "yes, I'm a chef" she says and looks amused at how Darcy describes it...and she's offered a hand to shake while introducing herself. "So. SHIELD. You want me to bake a cake for SHIELD? Don't I need to go through whatever it is they do?" she asks with a joking tone. "So...let's see" she says.

Writing this down on the paper, Piper gets an idea. "So. Hundreds of people. Fourth of July, and a foul mouthed hacker? At this rate, I want to put something like" she says doing the air quotes with her fingers, "Happy Fucking Birthday on the cake for the hacker, something American themed on the cake, I'm thinking an eagle, and something to do with SHIELD. Before you suggest it, I already thought of the lettters baked into the cake." she sighs and pours herself a water, sipping it.

"I just think Happy Fucking Birthday SHIELD and an eagle is pushing it a bit" Piper admits, though she's scribbling ideas down. "Okay, you got free reign on how you want me to bake this cake for you guys." she says, and opens mouth, inserts foot. "Go wild with the cake and I'll make it"

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"You can't put 'Happy Fucking Birthday' on the cake. Steve will absolutely lose his mind and I'll get a 'Language Lewis'. I promised myself I was going to be extra good for him on his birthday. I can't have a 'Language Lewis'. I might already be pushing it with the playlists I'm mulling over. I do not want a 'Language Lewis'," Darcy says, her eyes a bit wide. Clearly it's been a hectic cake finding mission and she's frazzled. Her hand runs through her hair, the wild brown waves tangling at the ends, but she doesn't seem aware of it.

"I need something classy, but wild? I really am so twisted abot what can and can't happen that I don't even know what I want anymore," Darcy says, shoulders slumping in near defeat.

Piper Halliwell has posed:
Piper looks sad at the fact she's not going to be able to put Happyy Fucking Birthday on the cake....though given she's merely doing what she's told for this cake, she's just doing what's been told. So....she listens and agrees. "Alright, so....how about this. A three layer cake, each layer getting wilder as it goes up?" Piper offers, drawing a quick sketch of a three tier cake to make her point...as she looks to it then smiles.

"Relax, we got this between us" she says. Seriously, she's considering something as she's muttering under her breath in rhyme and pulls out a cake. There's a moment of horror filled silence. It's a rainbow America SHIELD cake. A rainbow version of Captain America's shield. Piper hurriedly shoves it down the end of the bar. She got off lightly in terms of magic kicking her butt. "Um....that....that's.....not what I was going for at all" Piper says and shoves the horrifically bad cake down the other end of the the bar. "Though now I'm stuck with it. Okay. Like I was saying, no rainbow and no sparkles and no trying to wish this cake into existence" Piper says looking just a bit frazzled as well. "Okay, but I am not giving up on making this cake by hand. Okay. So...do you know how to bake, or do you want me to take you under my win and teach you?" Piper asks and looks serious, then gives the cake an evil look. She's going to deal with that thing later. "Is it just me or is that cake slowly getting closer?" Piper asks, sounding a little worried as she's showing why the Charmed Ones can't have nice things either.

She's sketching out the cake idea again, and giving various ideas. "So, lewis. A multi layer cake getting wilder and wilder. I mean. You take the rainbow and shiny bits off...that's....basically the three tier cake I was going for. I now want to send this to one of my friends for a birthday gift." she admits.

Darcy Lewis has posed:
Darcy's eyes land on the cake that materializes out of thin air, and just stops. Her head follows it as Piper shoves it to the end of the bar, watching the baked good with wide eyes. Her brain ticks off a few things. 1. The cake got wished into existance and Piper confirmed it. 2. The cake is very slowly but very noticeably tip toeing its way closer to her elbow. 3. The cake got wished into existance. 4. By Piper, who confirmed that fact.

....Oh, this is going to be a report to May and WAND and please don't be a crazy witch bent on world domination by making everyone eat cake until they are fat and tender so that you can slow cook us like a pot roast. I am not a Gretel, I swear to Zombie Jesus. Darcy looks up from the cake and back to Piper as she's rambling.

"I can make Monkey Bread without a recipe now, and cookies from a can, and cake from a box. Sometimes, the cake is edible," admits the SHIELD Agent.

"As for the Rainbow Cap cake.... I love it, exactly the way it is. I am willing to risk that Cap does too. So, let's find one for Shitcode and that three tier thing can be for the office. Because, let's face it, workign for SHIELD is nutso."

Piper Halliwell has posed:
Piper shakes her head at the cake and sighs. "Okay. Three tier walking rainbow cake for the office. Check. Now cake for shitcode and I am not....not making the same mistake again. Magic and I are way, way too literal" Piper says. She's outed herself as a witch to SHIELD. Then again. She /is/ a Charmed One...

Looking over, Piper nods. "I take it then you'll want the cake showing itself into the party?" Piper asks, looking amused. "Oh no, I'm not an evil witch. I did just magic a cake into existence that's shuffling up the bar. I swear I didn't even try to" Piper adds and nods, "So....if you'd like to try to make a cake, come to the kitchen" Piper offers gesturing to a door marked, incredibly, KITCHEN in capitals. She's sure that's the kitchen door really.

Shaking her head Piper's waiting to see what exactly Darcy will do, though the Charmed One at least has the moving cake boxed up. "Okay so....I don't know if the slices move or not, or if it'll run away from a knife" Piper offers. "at this rate I'm leaning toward pinata" she says as the cake runs off the bar and ends up shuffling over the floor. "Oh great. I got a sentient magic cake. Get over here! Piper says. The cake....responds. "You'll now listen to her" Piper tells the cake, as it inches closer to Darcy thenn tries to rub against her hand, settling against her. "Um....it....thinks it's a cat or it's taking orders from you?" Piper asks. The cake's still and quiet now, waiting for Darcy to give it orders.

Piper looks amused at the cake. "Yes....you're really having to tell the cake what you want it to do" she says gently. "Or, you just got a cake getting attached to you. So" Piper says cheerfully. "It's Captain America's birthday, right? I was going to say a shield cake....like...his shield but in cake form. And for that coder hacker sweary guy"

Piper nods and has an idea for what to put. But she's not doing this cake alone. The rainbow three tier cake is sitting there very happily, having found a spot next to Darcy.

Darcy Lewis has posed:
As the cake rubs its plate against the back of her hand, Darcy peers down at it. It is the best cake ever, and Darcy... Darcy lifts her other hand to rub the edge of the plate, the way one would rub a cat's nose.

"It is the prettiest cake. And going home with me, so... will you wait in the box for me?" she tells the confection, watching as the rainbow cake now very politely snuffles itself to the box, clambers in, and then waits. Darcy blinks, smirks, then turns back to Piper. She pushes up, collecting her pet cake, and follows the witch to the kitchen.

"I'm still going to have to report a witch to SHIELD. We have a department for them. The Weird Ass Nutty-crap Department. I'm pretty sure that's wrong, but I like it so the official name can go suck it."

"But, yes. Cap's birthday. His shield as a cake would be funny. Can we make the insides match the outsides? And Shitcode's a girl. And that cake needs to be all plain and boring on the outside but like... maybe purple inside. can you make it taste like a beer?"

Piper Halliwell has posed:
Piper nods. "You mean can we. Not can I" Piper says, looking to the cake. "Aww. I think that cake likes you" she nods.

Once in the kitchen, the sarcastic witch looks around, "Okay. Mixing bowl. Yep. Cake mix....that's a thing, and.....cake like Captain America's shield. Alright....that we can do. Just....no trying to use it in n a fight" Piper nods sagely, pulling out things to make a cake with.

Once it's all assembled, Piper nods to Darcy. "You make this one. I'll do the beer cake. If there's one thing a nightclub has, it's beer and in heavy supply" Piper nods, then gets a gleam in her eye. "Awe....but do you have to report me?" she asks. "I'm helping you guys out with cakes and things" she says and sets down a second mixing bowl, adding things in. Then she starts pouring beer in. A mix of all types, dirt cheap, high end, expensivde...and she's not putting her hands in it. On go the gloves. Darcy has the easy task. Piper's working with a cake that'd be well over the legal limit for....anything. She's looking pleased mind. "So, plain. Not even candles...though" she says stepping back. "The amount of beer in this cake and candles would probably just lead to the party location going up in flames" she observes. "I know. E-Candles" Piper adds. "I think we got some....or I'm sure we can put some on and they won't act like mini flames, right?" Piper nods

Piper's just....ya know, trying not to have bits of SHIELD mysteriously go up in flames. She's thoughtful like that. She's also getting the beer cake to resembled a cake, and nnot a horrible soggy thing.

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"What's an e-candle? And yes. I really do. But if you deliver the cake to the party, I can introduce you to May and then she can see that you're a good witch and not a bad witch, and we won't have to throw you into witch jail. Which jail? Winch... Right. something." Darcy rambles.

As long as there's a recipe with clear directions, she can do this. And there's something about actually baking Steve his cake that sits well with her, so after washing her hands, she sets to work.

Piper Halliwell has posed:
Piper nods and looks to Darcy with a grin. "Well you got one cake that listens to you and two that don't. So" Piper says with a nod. "You deliver the non sentient one you're making. I'll deliver the one I'm making and the other one will stroll in after you, plate and all" Piper nods. "Well. Hopefully. Do you SHIELD and WAND types get jumpy around walking cakes?" Piper asks.

"Oh, E-candles. Electronic ones. You know those electronic cigarettes? Same thing but for candles" Piper nods, working on her cake some more. There's enough alcohol in her one for the hacker, ad it looks so innocuous on the outside. There's just Piper piping, funnily enough, frosting for the words 'Happy Birthday', then she steps back. "What do you think of..." she says gesturing to it. Cautiously, Piper's not setting her powers off with that cake. The last thing she needs is P3 going up in flames.^

That'd bee a hard one toe xplain. Piper though....nods. "See. Cak's got enough beer in it to taste like a night out. Plain frosting. And Happy Birthday" Piper says, setting down a box of battery powered candles. "These...are the e-candles. Tell me where to put them" she nods excitedly.

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"It's called Weird Ass Nutty-crap Division for a reason," states Darcy, looking at her pet cake with a ever growing fond smile. "We'll be fine around a walking cake." The question is what kind of personality will this cake end up with learning from Darcy AND how long will it stay good? As in not rotting?

"Wait, like it actually is super boozy? That's a thing? I thought you jwere just shittin' me!"

Piper Halliwell has posed:
Piper laughss. "It'll learn from you" Piper nods and looks hopeful, well...hoepful Darcy won't stear the cake too wrong.

"Good news, that cake won't rot. The bad news. It'll listen to whatever you tell it. Think of it like an adorable pet puppy...cake....thing" Piper nods and smiles, looking to her booze-filled cake. "Yes, I actually put beer in. You said you wanted this hacker's cake to taste of beer. I just think I may have overdone it. It's got beer...and cake" Piper nods

Stepping back from the cake Piper takes off her gloves. "If you want to drive home with both cakes....buckle yours in, keep the beer cake by an open window" Piper nods. "And whatever you do....don't get pulled over" she nods sagely.

Piper's not sure if the NYPD will like having a cake that's 75% beer in a car, if it goes against the whole no open containers rule. Still, she's amused and looking ovr with a nod.