9156/Filling in

Filling in
Date of Scene:	11 September 2019
Location:	Natasha's Room, Avengers Mansion
Synopsis:	Wade encounters Nat, and fails to convince her that he's Thor.
Cast of Characters:	Deadpool, Black Widow (Romanoff)

---

Deadpool has posed:
The IS some warning. In the sense that a stream of emojis were sent depicting a variety of foods, some of it phallic, some of it less so.

Then a selfie that clearly depicts the Avengers exterior, by the fence. It's taken with a guard. The guard doesn't look okay with it. That means Deadpool is close. Wade appears to be in his usual red and blacks, nothing specially new, in the picture.

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
The good news? The alarms don't go crazy everytime Deadpool shows up. As often as it had been happening, he finally had been added to the 'don't shoot on sight' list at least. Didn't mean he wasn't on a list of some sort. Probably several. Just not that one.

The bad news? The security personnel were a little less okay with the 'don't shoot on sight' list containing his name. As depicted by the face of poor Daniel in that picture.

"Oh, Wade..." Natasha murmurs softly to herself. She rises from the chair she was sitting in, dressed in her work uniform since she was about to head out to SHIELD. A moment to check weapons one last time and she headed for the hallway door, intending to step out and hopefully intercept Wade before he got too far into the interior and set all the guards' teeth on edge.

Deadpool has posed:
Security is relieved but also uncomfortable downstairs at the entry. It seems Deadpool said something like "See you later!" and disappeared. That's a little disconcerting, and they discuss about if it's a report, or what. Maybe it isn't, if he left...

Inside, there's an ambush waiting for Natasha. "GREETINGS!" calls the figure in the hallway, before abruptly coming at her for a hug.

It's Thor! He looks healthy, smiley, and overjoyed to see her in the hallway. That's Wade's voice, though, but with the attempted bellow and the visual, it might fly for, oh, a few seconds without immediate identification. Or less. After all, it's Natasha.

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
Natasha doesn't like surprises. Wade is well aware of this fact.

Opening a door to find a figure less than three feet away coming at her? It's enough to have her firing up her Widow's Bites with a shifting of the muscles in her wrists even as she falls into a ready stance. Her thighs tense and she is about to go for an attack when the voice hits her. That voice makes her pause which is all the time he needed to close that distance and grab her in a hug.

"Wade? What are you doing?"

Deadpool has posed:
Wade is aware. "I know you don't like surprises so I - okay wait, sorry, broke character," Wade says, adjusting. "You smell nice," he adds, before releasing the hug a few notches, to orient to look at her in the face.

"I doth knowest you do protest yon surprise; thereby I have messaged your message device via raven picture," Wade declares. It's a shitty impression, even if the visual is pretty decent.

"I have come to fill in!" Wade's helping.

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"I could've shot you," Natasha points out as she returns the hug just before he leans back to look down at her from close quarters. Although his head isn't where it should be since it isn't his head. Thor's head is a bit higher than Wade's actual head should be. Yet she finds herself looking at the Thor face anyway because that's just how the mind worked.

"That explains the bird emoji. I couldn't figure that one out." Honestly, she has no idea what half his emojis mean. They don't always mean to Wade what they would to any other person in the world.

"Fill in? Oh! Wade, that isn't how it works. Just looking like Thor isn't going to get your foot in the door with the team."

Deadpool has posed:
"Coulda, woulda, shoulda," Wade parrots as she warns him that he could have been shot. Wade's in one of his self-destructive moods, perhaps. Or just one of his wild ones. The latter is probably more likely, considering the effort done to pretend to be Thor, and how smiley he's being. The chaos of Wade.

"There was no hammer, so I used a golf club, too," Wade describes, chatty. The mismatch of his quickfire tone from the Thor visual is probably pretty weird, as well.

"No, just temporary. Like a substitute. I read he's not around. Or maybe I imagined it. I haven't seen him. Have you? Is he dead? Do gods die?"

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"You read correctly. Or imagined. Either way. No, he's not dead. At least, I don't think he is. He is missing," Natasha verifies as she takes a single step back, looking over his image induced Thor. The last question has her feeling a bit of tension as she gives a nod. "Asgardians can and do die. We just need to figure out what is going on, where he might be. I would not be surprised if Loki was involved. The last report I saw has him right in my sights for being the culprit." She's guessing he saw the same reports since he seems to know things. After all, Wade tends to find out what he wants when he wants. It's one of his charms. Or annoyances. Depends on the point of view.

"If you were going to be a substitute, you would need to be yourself. And not sure how the rest of the team would feel about it." She almost continued with a point about him doing non-heroic things from time to time but stopped herself. That would be like the pot calling the kettle black.

Deadpool has posed:
"Yeah, I do realize that I cannot throw lightning, leap tall buildings, or have fabulous hair," Wade laments. "I am but a giant fake." He drops his hands to belt level, with a slow, deliberate shake of his head, as if reflecting on the reality of the world.

"This got very existential very quickly, on the nature of a god. If I do not die, am I a god? I suspect that I am not. For hair reasons."

Wade's attention snaps back to her like an addict pouncing on a fix. "Loki, huh? Oh. I don't remember what he looks like, nor do I want to. He didn't strike me as particularly worthy of mimicry, which is a compliment."

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
Wait, what? Natasha is used to Wade. She's spent a lot of time with him in the last few years. Yet that even made her brain do a loop. "How is it a compliment if they are not worthy of being mimicked?" She is going to regret voicing that, she knows it now.

To try to curb what may come from her question, she continues quickly. "I actually have to agree. The hair thing does seem to be key to being a god. At least all of them I've met so far seem to have some sort of fabulous hair super-power. Even people like Wonder Woman, who is not actually a goddess, yet is from that sort of pantheon." Focus him on something else. Maybe Wonder Woman will help. Or not. Maybe this was a bad idea.

Deadpool has posed:
"No, I meant, I will not copy him. Copying is a compliment. I am complimenting Thor, with my badass impersonation," Wade says. He's not annoyed: he calmly explains the logic he had in his head. Even he has to squint a little. "Let's move on," he suggests, which comes with an attempt to offer his arm to her, to escort her down the hallway towards the elevator or stairs or whatever it is.

"I think it is a thing all gods have, but not necessarily something that creates a god. Like if it's raining I have an umbrella, but my umbrella doesn't cause rain." A pause. "Unless I'm Thor and it's a hammer." Logic.

"I'm all over the place. I'm going to focus. How are you?" Good attempt. Maximum effort.

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"I don't think his powers come from the hammer. I think they just are amplified through it," Natasha muses although she can't even be certain of that. "So that makes sense." Which is so wrong on so many levels. She slips her arm through his, when it is offered, and they make their way toward the stairs. There are elevators but she doesn't see the need to use them. Plus sometimes there are malfunctioning robots that turn them into death traps. Thus, she prefers the stairs.

"I'm alright. A little frustrated with the goings on. Magic and missing Asgardians. I'm not particularly adept on dealing with either. A bit out of my wheelhouse, so to speak."

Deadpool has posed:
"When I feel like that, I do a different job. Stabbing is really cathartic," Wade advises. He's still in the Thor image, which means his arm is a lot leaner than his Thor-pretend one. Feels more familiar, maybe: Natasha probably doesn't often walk arm-in-arm with Thor. Wade's a cuddler, though.

Even if it's been a while.

"It has been a WHILE. I'm sorry I didn't ask hug consent. May I hug again?" Wade asks, while they head towards the stairs.

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
He's not wrong. Stabbing is cathartic. Perhaps it was time to go on one of those sorts of missions for SHIELD. Get things out of her system. Wade may have a different viewpoint on the world yet he had a talent for bringing it into focus for others.

The arm is more familiar this way. Feels strange since it doesn't match the image so she tries not to think about it too much. Sort of like that talking to his face--only it's the wrong face. The hug consent gets a little chuckle out of her and she nods. "Of course."

Deadpool has posed:
"I'll hug as me though!" Wade determines, drawing his arm back to disengage his image inducer. Once again, the leather mercenary is in view to match the sound and physical presence of his actual body, and he attempts to snuggle in for a hug, including putting his cheek /just so/ on her shoulder.

Wade is armed as always, which makes hugging him less easy due to the swords on his back, but he does give really pleasant, warm hugs, from his embrace. Maybe it's just that he really means it: there's no hesitation. Awkwardness is in the eye of the beholder, and his eyes are shut for the moment.

"Yay," Wade says quietly. "Do you need cathartic stabbing? I got mine in but I have other targets."

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
Natasha slides her arms around him. She's hugged him often enough when he is armed. She's learned the most comfortable spot to put her arms, around his torso, just below the sheaths holding the blades. She gives a tight squeeze then feels his head fall into that familiar spot.

She brings a hand up from around him, to the back of his neck, a comforting touch showing he is welcome to rest there as long as he might want or need.

Until he opens his mouth.

Natasha has to laugh. "I think I will but I was going to see if SHIELD had anyone that needed stabbed first. I will keep your offer in mind, if the targets are all bad people?"

Deadpool has posed:
Wade hasn't moved from the comfortable spot; there was a prompt melt from him as well when she cradled his head in that manner. Starved for contact? Probably. The contact of strangling evil gangbangers just isn't the SAME.

"Ooh. I can go with you. Hold them down. Although they're better stabbed as free range, so I take it back," purrs Wade, as if he were saying romantic nothings into her neck. Maybe they are romantic nothings, to some point of view.

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"Exactly. That would take all the cathartic out of the stabbing if you held them. All the sport too," Natasha replies as she continues to hold him there. Her thumb strokes at the nape of his neck lightly, a little pet that makes this more an active position than many might realize. It is her way of letting him know she's there. When he needs her, she will hold him like this and help that pain go away. It's one of those things that took him a while to find comfort doing, what with his self despising in the way. But after two years? Now, he knows this is okay.

The strange things is, many others would find this conversation strange. For Natasha, it is not. She is what she is. He knows it. He is what he is. She knows it. They both accept each other for their positives and negatives. Just, what some people might consider a negative, they think of as positives, such as the ability to kill someone with nothing but a pencil. They are a strange pair.

"I can see if we have some that might need a pair of us. Go in together and clean some houses?"

Deadpool has posed:
"I pictured needing a maid outfit," Wade chatters, of course. "or a super-soaker full of bleach. Which would, in fact, be very sporting, as I think bleach can be slippery. Or maybe that's when it's mixed with laundry detergent. Laundry Detergent is one of the best slippery things to lay down if you're out of caltrops," Wade says. The mercenary's mouth is certainly on full blast today. But that's him: that's part of what he is. A positive and a negative: situationally. Just like the murder.

"Has this hug gone on too long?" Wade asks, turning his head to the other way, so as to put his other cheek on her shoulder. That means he's staring at her throat, or hair. He makes a puff noise of breath, as if to blow her hair out of the way. Due to the mask, obviously nothing really happens. He does it again. Once again, nothing.

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
Her mind goes to other uses for bleach which have nothing to do with being slippery. She does not allow herself to be drawn into the conversation of which household materials make the best use for what. They might be here for hours.

When she hears that attempted puff of air, with no sensation of it, she has to smile. Then the next. "Maybe so since you are trying to get air through your mask now. Alright, big guy. Upsie-daisy." She draws her hand down from the back of his head and begins to extricate her other arm from around his torso. "Not that I'm minding. Kind of nice being held," she admits. "Just not sure that standing in the hallway for an hour hugging would be the best way to go. You okay?" she asks, voice showing some concern.

Deadpool has posed:
"You're just angling for me to remove my face, I can tell," teases Wade overly flirtatiously, which includes a wriggle of body (particularly his butt) as well as that. "You missed the bile curling in the back of your throat, and that aftertaste that feels like old hot-dog water," sighs Wade, still flirtatiously, as if he were describing a walk on the beach.

"It's not the best way to go? We could do it in the driveway. Still, there's an element of danger here, if the little robots forget I'm an okay guy that's creating a level of electric sensuality."

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"I am positive the robots could not handle your level of electric sensuality," Natasha replies as she tries not to giggle. The visuals that came with those words was rather entertaining.

She also has to bite back a comment that would be totally inappropriate, concerning other options for what he might do with his face that she would find appealing. After all, she doesn't need to open that door. There might be no closing it.

"I'm just saying if we want to do the long-term hugging, a nice couch or bed in a private room might be better. My place. Your place. That sort of thing. Instead of the hallway in the mansion where who knows might wander in and interrupt us. Then we might have to stab them. Kidding," she adds hurriedly before he thinks she meant the stabbing cause--well, Wade.

Deadpool has posed:
Sometimes Wade does this thing that's almost mind-reading, or is maybe something else. Maybe other people shouldn't tempt Wade's crazy with the things they shouldn't do when they write.

"My face has loads of amazing uses. Also other body parts. Do you need privacy? Shut the lights off, maybe, so we lack the whole vomit thing? It's a turnoff for me. Well. Right now. Sometimes I don't care. You gotta do you, and all that," Wade chatters.

"I promised I wouldn't stab Captain America. At least I think I did. And thinking is what matters. I don't /want/ to anyway. Unless you meant other stabbing? Like. You've /seen/ his ass, right? I'm very well behaved."

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"Wade." Her tone is slightly sharp. Natasha leans back now, making sure that he is forced to face her. Face to mask at least. "You know I don't like those jokes. There was no vomit. No problems. I never had an issue with your appearance. Lights on, mask off. You are the one that always preferred to hide." She puts her hand on his cheek. "I wish you would realize it always is more about what's inside. Your personlity, your humor, your love of life. The way you make the world seem fresh and new when seen through your eyes."

She slowly begins to draw her hand away. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get all heavy there. Perhaps we should head downstairs."

Deadpool has posed:
"That's true. You don't like those," Wade says, as if recalling the truth. "I may need to be punished. Did I tell you? A strange lady in a bar once gave me a giant spanking paddle. Like for no reason. It wasn't like I read an ad on craig'slist and decided hey, today is the day to get a paddle. Oh shit, they have a giant one, that's even more appropriate to my needs."

Wade's still facing her: mask to face. There's just all the rambling in the way, now, like a barricade of ... nutcaseness.

"I didn't bring it, though. And that's also probably more appropriate in your room and not a stairwell. Avengers gonna judge you." Yep. Sage nod. He seems to become aware of the hand on his mask cheek, and overdoes his reaction as usual: leaning his head sideways into it, and pulling his hand up to wrap over the back of her hand and cradle it there.

"You know I don't love life a lot of the time. But I keep myself distracted." That got serious very suddenly, and eerily lucid. Wade's tone cleared up, and the insanity got flung into the backseat.

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"I disagree," Natasha says as her hand is captured and held there. She doesn't mind. She never did. "You love life. You always have. It's that you don't love yourself, after you changed. I just wish you could see all the things that I do. To believe them of yourself." She sighs softly and leans her head down slightly, breaking their locked gazes. "Someday you will learn to love yourself enough that you will break free of that defense mechanism."

She raises her gaze back up to his, her expression now a slight smirk. "Although I expect you will always be just as entertaining. Breaking the mechanism will just free you even more. I look forward to that day, Wade. I plan to be around for it."

Deadpool has posed:
"SOMETIMES I believe," Wade entones, "I do forget, though. So that day pops up now and then like a package you forgot you ordered from Amazon," Wade beams. "I mean, I know it's a rare butterfly." Wade lifts one hand between them, and attempts to boop her nose.

"Boop."

Yes, he said it aloud, for sound effect reasons.

"Mostly I have my face off around Steve. I'm trying. Good buddies and shit. But less swearing. And no grabbing without consent. It's a work in progress. Because I've had so much forgetfulness. And that's even without the icepicks to the head I was doing the other year, if you recall. I mean, /I/ don't recall." For obvious reasons.

"Life is full of fun things, though, you are speaking truth."

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"No grabbing without consent is a good motto. Steve probably would be polite about it though and not break your arm. Like some folks might," Natasha says as she smiles at the boop.

"You apparently do recall if you mention it. Even if you don't remember all the details about the icepick incident." She turns now, automatically putting her arm back through his, and steers them toward the stairwell. "I'm going to be late for work."

Deadpool has posed:
"Work? Bleeeeeh. It's a snow day," Wade complains, gesturing to the windows, where there is exactly zero snow. "Another reason I cannot fill in for Thor. I cannot create a snow day for you," laments Wade. He's fallen into step with her, easy to lead along when he's not paying much attention.

"It's not 'bring your Wade to work day', is it?"