9656/Once Bitten, Twice Gun-Shy

Once Bitten, Twice Gun-Shy
Date of Scene:	19 October 2019
Location:	Shannon's Room (East Halls), Xavier's School
Synopsis:	A now terrified Shannon is forced to confront her own mortality and limitations, with some help from Sam-Bean.
Cast of Characters:	Nightingale, Samuel Morgan

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Nightingale has posed:
     To say the night before had been 'eventful' for the mansion's resident winged healer would be a gross understatement. On top of the coronation for Lorna over in Genosha, what should have been a simple healing went pear-shaped, very quickly. It left Shannon in her PJ's, resting in bed far later than her usual. There had been no sign of her for the usual morning run, and morning classes had a notable absence as well. Right now, her eyes are closed and she is trying to rest, but her mind races, full of the events of the past couple days.

Samuel Morgan has posed:
    There is always a good chance that, if something has happened to Shannon, Bean is going to find out about it. Honestly, that kid has ears all around the mansion somehow, considering he shares very few classes with other students. After the birthday/coronation event, he seemed even more on edge than usual, and so when Shannon doesn't appear for the morning run, it doesn't take him long to hear that 'something' has happened. The sleeping Triage outside her door is probably the best confirmation he'll get.

    Silently, without disturbing any of the floorboards, Bean creeps along the hallway and knocks softly on Shannon's door. "It's me. Mind if I come in?"

Nightingale has posed:
Shannon edges herself up on her elbows in bed and peers over, her hair a classic 'bed head' sort of tousled mess. She hadn't expected visitors and honestly, wasn't entirely sure for a moment she even wanted one. She does hesitate for a moment or two, then replies, "Sure, come in." How had he found out so quickly?

Samuel Morgan has posed:
    The door opens quietly. The door closes just as quietly. Somewhere in between those two things happening, Bean had proceeded through said portal and insinuated himself inside. Seeing Shannon still in bed confirms what he had suspected, and he wastes on time in picking up a chair, carrying it over to the bed and sitting down at her bedside. "Trying not to get that engraved name plate then?" A joke to start, although his smile is brittle. He's even wearing sunglasses indoors, how ridiculous is that?

    "How are you feeling? Anything I can do?"

Nightingale has posed:
     "It was damn near an engraved headstone. A nameplate would've been a step up." Shannon's color's a bit off, though it does look as if she's recovering from whatever had happened. There's a bit of a smile there, but her eyes... well, they look haunted. Terrified. And as she sits up in bed, her wings are definitely drooping. Still, the sunglasses indoors makes her frown a little... but she then quite literally sits on her hands. Whatever it was, had her deathly afraid to heal. "Headache?" She nods towards the unusual indoor eyewear perched on Bean's face.

Samuel Morgan has posed:
    "It'll pass." Bean responds to the query, buying himself time before addressing the more serious issue. He can't help but notice Shannon's unusual posture, thinks back to Triage's presence outside the door, and draws a few conclusions. "Well I'm very happy that you're still here, no matter what it is that happened." And no, he's not going to ask. He can recognise trauma in others, and knows how to avoid making that sort of thing worse. Instead, he stretches out his left leg for a moment and reaches into the side pocket, retrieving a package wrapped carefully in white paper.

    "I was going to give you this when we went out running this morning. I know you've been a bit... stressed... lately, so I made you a little something to just... well..." Pause. "Anyway, I was impressed with how you handled yourself yesterday too. Even the royal guards were panicking, and you didn't." With great care, he takes the rectangular package and puts it down on the bed, pulling his hands back and resting them on his knees so there won't be any accidental contact. Shrewd observer...

Nightingale has posed:
     There's a ghost of a smile on Shannon's face as she slides her hands out, the white paper crinkling softly as she picks up the package, to cradle it gently between her palms. "No running for me for a few good days, it's down to walking once I'm cleared for it." What could have happened to cut down her activity that much? She shakes her head, with a slight roll of her eyes. "Logan's gonna be pissed."

     She turns the package over carefully in her hands, almost as if it were a treasure beneath the tree at Christmas, plucking at the snowy white paper. "It wasn't hard to keep from panicking. Had my teammates and friends there... plus it wasn't the first time I'd seen Magneto in combat. First time at that close range, though." She pauses a bit. "I'm starting to see why Cannonball talks about him with as much respect as he does. Still wouldn't want to get on his bad side, though."

     Bit by bit, she plucks at the paper, unfolding it to reveal the gift inside. "What did you do, Bean? You didn't go to a whole lot of trouble for this, I hope?"

Samuel Morgan has posed:
    "Anyone that has a power range that wide, and can summon an EMP at will? Yeah, I'm not going to mess with that either." At least, not conventionally. Bean had only ever heard of Magneto, had never seen his terrible anger... and yet he found himself understanding the man more because of it. It felt familiar...

    The gift, when opened, turns out to be hand made. Three snowy white feathers, which would be instantly recognisable by some people in this mansion as having come from Shannon's wings, mounted in gleaming chromed cogs with hardened epoxy resin, threaded onto a simple leather cord. The cogs are separated by small chromed beads, the middle of each resembling the shape of a bean. It's a simple necklace, for sure, valuable only for its symbolism. "You ehm... lost those, a few days ago. I figured you'd want them back."

Nightingale has posed:
     "EMP, nothing. Should've seen him and Lorna ripping three Sentinels apart the other time. And -then- making sure the debris landed away from the protesters below them. There's some mad skills...."

     Shannon's voice trails off when she sees the necklace. A lot of thought had gone into the piece, however simple it was, and it made a tear spring to her eye. She slips it on, the feathers dangling from their cog mountings resting easily over her chest. "Thank you." It's barely a whisper, as she is touched deeply by the gift.

Samuel Morgan has posed:
    That's two people Bean has made happy with a gift in two days, and it brings a smile to his face. "You've earned it." The simple cog, often overlooked, often believes it is just one part of the larger machine, and yet without it the whole thing would just stop working...

Nightingale has posed:
     Seeing a dear friend smile like that was enough to chase away at least some of the shadows in Shannon's eyes. "I owe you a hug when you're over that headache. Or you could bug Triage out there when he wakes up. His gift works differently from mine, he wouldn't absorb the injury." Though she tries to keep the mood lighthearted, having to admit she couldn't help and refer Bean to someone else seemed to take it out of her again. She touches the necklace briefly and smiles a little bit.

Samuel Morgan has posed:
    "Nah, I'll tough it out. Just a bit of a headache, there's other things he could be doing than dealing with something I can take care of with some aspirin." As usual, Bean doesn't seem very inclined to go see a healer for something that will heal on its own. "And you can hug me now if you want. I know you wouldn't try to heal me without my permission. I trust you, y'know that."

Nightingale has posed:
     Shannon just goes deathly quiet, looking down at her hands. From being willing to heal gods and kings, to being terrified to hug a friend--what could have happened? The shadows return to her eyes, her expression darkening, and she can't even look up.

     "You might trust me, but I don't trust myself."

Samuel Morgan has posed:
    Okay. Blink. That's new and unexpected. Bean's expression changes into something... almost unreadable. With great care, he takes off his sunglasses, making the assessment slightly easier, looking at Shannon with something between a frown and surprised concern. "What new nonsense is this?" Ey?

    "How could you not trust yourself? You're one of the most sensible people I know." Which, coming from Bean, must be high praise. "I trust you whenever I feel my own judgment might be impaired, I trust you to have my back and I trust you to do the right thing when you need to, consequences be damned. That's why you're so trustworthy." His voice never rises, never betrays any emotion. This isn't an angry tirade, this is the even tone of a team leader attempting to yank a team member back from the edge of a cliff. "I trust you. No matter what happened, no matter what you think you did that was so wrong, I trust you. Now and always."

Nightingale has posed:
     "It should have been a simple healing. Just the flu. Triage was there. Megan was sneezing and spreading pixie dust. Bad idea around the mansion. Even he got hit with it." The winged teen just hugs her knees to her chest, resting her chin atop them and looking at a point distant, gaze unfocused. "It was working, too. But she panicked and pushed me away. Nobody's done that, ever. Nobody knew it could almost kill me."

     She takes a shuddering breath before continuing. "My heart... it's strong, but the healing connection is stronger. Now we know if it's broken by force..." She begins to rock back and forth a little bit, her voice starting to rise in pitch, and gain a little bit of a hitch in the tone.

     "How can I trust myself to keep that from affecting me again? How can I trust myself to ever be able to heal someone when they need it? How can I ever be that person others can trust to be able to help them when the chips are down?"

Samuel Morgan has posed:
    "Because you started healing the moment you needed to." Bean mentions, leaning forwards and putting a hand on Shannon's shoulder, looking at her intently. "From what I overheard, you've never tried a simple flu before, have you? And when you needed to step in, even if you didn't know what was going to happen, you did it. The healer's instinct."

    And then, time for a revelation. "Did you know that I've got the same problem? If someone disconnects me from a device, it's like ... like jamming a red hot needle directly into my brain. When that cyborg Sentinel fought back while I was controlling the large Sentinel, it should have killed me, if it hadn't been for Chris. And until that happened, I had no idea that it would, or even could. You think I didn't try not even looking at electronics for a few days? Because of course I did." There. An admission of fear, a crack in his otherwise imperturbable facade. "But it's useless. It's who we are, and of course we're going to find limits to what we can do. Of course there's going to be side effects that are inconvenient, or even outright dangerous as in our case."

    "What we really found out is that when you're healing someone, we need to tell them to let it happen, or have someone hold them down."

Nightingale has posed:
Shannon falls silent to listen to Bean. She'd had no idea of the inner workings of his mind on that day, but to hear he had been terrified was enough to get her to pay attention. "I remember that day. It fucking killed me that I couldn't get to you, but Chris was better suited to help you and I knew it. This gift has its limits. Even if they're not all known yet. The worst part is... the only way to find those limits that I know of is to test them." She's shaking as she thinks about it, pale and terrified. "What can and can't I absorb? Injuries, sure. Even a simple illness like the flu, we now know, sure. But what about other things? How can we find out without getting me killed?"

Tears stream down her face, and she looks down at her hands again. "There's too much to live for. I don't wanna go yet. But there's so much misery out there, and now I'm scared shitless to help. What now?"

Samuel Morgan has posed:
    And now Bean stands for a moment, keeping his hand on Shannon's shoulder and moves to sit on the edge of her bed. His hand moves and crosses to the other shoulder, arm starting to tighten for what will be a hug if he's not stopped. "Nobody is asking you to risk your life."

    Considering the topic, now Bean has to choose his words very, very carefully. Because he's about to say something he's said many times before, and has been said by other people, but bears repeating. Just... not in the way it's been said before. "The only way to find out what we can do is by trying. Carefully, and with someone who can help you nearby. It's okay to be afraid, everyone is. And it's okay to take risks, or not to take risks if you think it's too dangerous. That's your decision, and yours alone. You have to decide for yourself where you draw the line, as long as you make sure to draw one. And then, over time, you can move that line, bit by bit. But nobody wants to see you put yourself in unnecessary danger." And he stresses the word 'unnecessary'. "But we don't know what's going to happen when you try something new. You've learned new things about yourself, and it's scary. It always is. We're not going to tell you to stop trying. We just... want to be there to help you, in case you need help. Is that fair?"

Nightingale has posed:
     Initially, Shannon's wings do open as if to bat Bean away, terror warring with the need for simple, basic contact. As he hugs her, though, the wings are pulled in, and she just... allows it, hugging him back tentatively. This was one line that had been pushed very far, unexpectedly, and it was going to take a little time for her to process. "It's hard to do nothing, when you see someone's suffering, even if it's dangerous. That's why I healed Loki. It's why I healed you. It's why I wish I could have healed Kurt when he needed it... but in his case, I'm the -last- person who should be trying to help." She's still shaking a little. "Those limits have to be tested... it's why I bit Kitty's head off, she didn't seem to understand that. But maybe she was right, too. But they have to be tested, and understood, so I'm safe in the end. Damn it, what are we going to do???"

Samuel Morgan has posed:
    In the hug, Bean smiles. "The sensible thing. We take it one step at a time. This is a school, after all."