9965/Jokers and Cheetahs and Volts, Oh My

Jokers and Cheetahs and Volts, Oh My
Date of Scene:	08 November 2019
Location:	North Shore, Staten Island
Synopsis:	Joker and Cheetah have a meeting, only to be interrupted by Drake and Buffy.
Cast of Characters:	Joker, Cheetah, Volt, Buffy Summers

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Joker has posed:
People don't call the Joker, the Joker calls them, often on an oversized novelty phone while people scream in terror in the background. You don't even wanna know what his ringtone sounds like.

He found a way to get a message to the Cheetah. With Batman 'dead' (he doesn't believe it, not for a single split second, Batsy's just on vacation getting backrubs from oiled up hussies in Robin costumes, yes, sirree, doodle), he needs new people to torment, but other people often have 'powers' and 'formidable skills' and don't have the same sense of humor (none) that Batman had.

Gosh, he already misses that big black co...er, dic...er...person in a cape.

At any rate, he's chosen a nice warehouse in a decent part of town not far from the boardwalk. He figures he can stroll the carnival games later and see if he can win a prize for shooting the vendors. In the meantime, he waits, clad in his purple suit, twirling a watchfob on a chain, whistling to himself. The tune is Ice-T's 'Cop Killa', a difficult tune to get from two lips and a tongue. But, oh, what a tongue it is...

Cheetah has posed:
The Joker's ringtone sounds a lot like the theme from 'Benny Hill.' As a Brit, Cheetah may have somewhat, slightly, just a little bit enjoyed it. Just /how/ Joker had managed to get a hold of her is a mystery. The two have never met and the number of people who know she exists is miniscule. Curiosity drew the cat. The Benny Hill theme helped; it was a nice touch.

Cheetah blasts into town and drops out of super-speed in the middle of the warehouse. She isn't subtle. There is no cacophony to announce her arrival, no sudden gust of air, and the dust isn't even disturbed. To an observer she may just have well as materialized from nothing.

The warehouse is dimly lit but not black as pitch. Between Cheetah's enhanced senses and Joker's loud wardrobe there's no need for anyone to stumble around in the dark.

Volt has posed:
Mutant Town needs protection. More than some other parts of town, simply for the merit of what it is. Maybe it's an odd thing to consider, given one could make the argument that everyone there has a superpower. But that's also part of the problem. /Everyone/ there has a superpower. Even the criminals. But perhaps more importantly, they're sort of like Volt's people. He has no more connection to them beyond hard luck and a genetic abnormality, but it's the closest he has.

Still. Mutant Town is a dump. Sometimes, you need to step back and remind yourself that the world isn't all broken glass and constant tension. Volt hasn't afforded these little vacations to himself too often, but he's glad he did. He can still be... well, whatever he is, away from there. And Staten Island is really nice; like civilization. Like what he used to have on the West Coast. He can't afford to relax too much, but it's enough to put a quiet smile on his face.

Well, what could be seen of his face, anyway. Between the hood-drawn hoodie, baseball cap, and completely unnecessary sunglasses, Volt is totally wearing the 'please don't recognize me after tonight' uniform without quibble. But hey, it's not like he has access to super cool costuming. What's a guy to do?

It's the sound of the whistling inexplicably coming from a warehouse that lures him over. The smile fades, and the teen trots a little closer to its opening. Everything else had been so silent and calm, it was hard not to be a /little/ curious. But what he finds in there is not exactly what he was expecting. A paper-white man in a bright purple zoot suit. And then an honest-to-God catgirl appears. Volt's head tilts faintly to the side, but he doesn't announce his presence. He's just watching. Hard not to! Look at'em!

Buffy Summers has posed:
Buffy Summers was minding her own business (well..Mostly..When she's not on the lookout for demons, vampires and the like), when she stumbled across said warehouse, noticing some movement going on inside. "Well. That's not normal." she murmurs, moving towards the entrance and peeking in..

Joker has posed:
Joker faux-startles, clutching a hand to his chest as if having a heart attack, "JEEPERS CREEPERS! I knew you were fast, but you're just so fast, it's enough to give me the vapors. Poisonous vapors, of course, the kind that leave 'em laughing," he snickers.

"I assume no introductions are necessary, but I'll do them anyway. I'm kind of extra, if you hadn't figured that out. It is I, the Crown Prince of Crime, the Harlequin of Hate, Mister Spicey Jalapeno Gotham six years running, the one and only Joker. I'd offer my hand, but you're too smart for that and I don't want you dead. I just want you," he says, waggling his eyebrows.

"More precisely, I'm wanting a little bit of an alliance. Mutual backscratching. Quid pro quo. A nice mutual reacharound," he says. "My favorite playmate's gone and gotten himself squished by that red caped boyscout from Metropolis and now all I have to play with are the orphans he left behind. How very hashtag sad," he says and, from somewhere in his pocket, there's a soft and melodramatic weeping sound. Don't ask where he hid the button.

"What say you, Hello Kitty? Got any annoyances you'd like a little clownish help in reducing to gooey meat chunks?"

Cheetah has posed:
Mister Spicy Jalapeno's curriculum vitae doesn't seem to register much of an impression. "Huh. The legends are true: you /do/ look like a mime." Cheetah's tone is imperious but not hostile. There's the merest hint of an accent but it's difficult to place. She folds her arms across her chest and casts a look about the building: nothing to see, really. Volt is some distance behind her and downwind. Had Cheetah been more careful she would have taken a lap around the warehouse before entering. For now, he goes undetected.

"So Batman's dead, then?" Cheetah's hands move to her hips as she pads a few steps closer. "It's not just a put on? Hmmm." She cocks her head to one side and raises an eyebrow. Seemingly of their own accord, her pointed ears twitch and turn slightly. A modest purr rumbles around her mouth.

Joker's offer of married mayhem is weighed: "I may have someone in mind." (*cough*WonderWoman*cough*.) Cheetah's eyes narrow and she looks Joker up and down, "How did you find me?"

Volt has posed:
This is... quite the information dump. Being homeless and scraping by doesn't really give someone ready access to the news; it just emphasizes the microcosm of their immediate life. To wit, Volt didn't know much about Batman or anything going on with Superman. Not beyond some cursory bits of gossip. Eating and not dying generally outweighs whatever is the 4-1-1 on the hero world. But still, hearing it here, and in this context, is surprising.

Are these actual, straight up supervillains? Holy crap.

Volt leans in a bit more, straining to get more details. If he can overhear more, he can maybe do something about it. But then he seems to be joined by a girl who looks even more mundane than him. "Hey," he whispers across the entrance to Buffy. "These guys are major. Probably dangerous." He waves a hand. "You shouldn't be here!" Technically, there's no reason to think /he/ should be here either. But whatever.

Buffy Summers has posed:
Buffy Summers can be pretty sneaky when she wants to be, and she doesn't make any particular effort to make herself known, but as she is probably blocking out some of the light from the entrance, the two villains(?) *might* just catch a glimpse of her in the entry way. And it looks like she's not alone either. Glancing over at Volt, she tenses, stepping back. "Well, isn't this interesting? I mean, did we just stumble upon a villainous convention or something?" she smirks, and shrugs.

"Don't worry about me, I can handle myself, let's hope you can keep up. I'm pretty sure I've seen the pasty faced, green haired guy before on tv. The Joker, isn't it? And the crazy cat lady...Ohhh right, that'd be the Cheetah, apparently Spike's 'old friend'..Question is, what are they up to?" she rolls her eyes at the memory of the last time they met, under equally odd circumstances.

Joker has posed:
Joker doesn't have superhearing and, frankly, likes the sound of his own voice, so he hasn't yet noticed the peeping tom and tomette lurking about near the entranceway.

"I have my ways. I'm a master of mystery and intrigue, after all. Agent Double O Joker, at your service," he says. "Suffice to say, we know some of the same bad people who know other bad people who are particularly vulnerable to having information pried out of them by having boiling acid poured down their pants. Some people just have NO character whatsoever," he tsks.

"As for dear Batsy, I personally suspect he's perfectly alive but lurking, playing possum. Probably trying to lure me or some of my colorful comrades from Arkham out, in the hopes of snatching us up like...well, I guess like a bat, but that's terribly boring and I am far, far too much for him to chew regardless. But, for now, he's at the very least playing dead and I'm going to humor him. Humor is my game, after all," he says with a bark of laughter.

"Now, why don't you tell me what hero we might humble, the two of us together, entwined in dance, underneath the golden kiss of the fattened moon? And can I bring dynamite?"

Cheetah has posed:
Despite her best efforts the smallest hook of a smile starts to tug at Cheetah's mouth. Is this the beginning of a beautiful friendship? "Dynamite would be a good sta---" Her questing ears abruptly stop moving. The night is relatively still so she overhears Volt's whispered warning as easily as if he was yelling it. Buffy's even more so. The youth of today are so unreliable. Given the nature of the overheard conversation it seems unlikely this was any kind of setup.

Cheetah's face gathers into a snarl and she peers over her shoulder. Turning away from the Joker (a dicey proposition at the best of times) her poisonous gaze registers Buffy and Volt skulking in the blackness. Back to the Joker, "I do hope those two are with you..." She knows they aren't and steps to one side so the clown has a chance to espy a pair of dark shapes if nothing else.

Cheetah raises a clawed hand and turns back to those snooping kids. She growls in Mister J's direction. "Let's see what you're made of, then." She moves slightly away from the Joker giving them both room to work.

Volt has posed:
Volt stares at Buffy, curious. That is one outrageously confident chick. What's up with that? He doesn't fault her the statement of having to keep up. After all, he looks as mundane as... well, her. What the heck!

Alas, the jig is up. Cheetah has put the attention on them, and Volt's focus snaps over in their direction. Just when they were talking about dynamite and potential plans for said dynamite. So much for gathering useful information! But rather than leap out to confront, he remains in his partial cover and opts to play possum.

Sort of.

He can't not sass.

"I'm thinking it's the same stuff that those powder donuts are made of," he supplies helpfully, voice elevated now to be heard by the other two. "And you, sweetheart, my gosh - you should'a started shaving back when it was just a mustache." Oh, he's ready to duck and cover. But hopefully that'll give the extremely confident blonde an opportunity to run for help.

Buffy Summers has posed:
Buffy Summers steps out into the open, cranking her neck, dropping down into a defensive stance as she faces the pair of villains, and it's perhaps more clear by now that she at least looks like she knows what she is doing.

"Well gosh darn it, I guess my gig's up! And here I thought we could just pop by for tea!" at least her tone is a bit more cheerful as she regards the two of them. "So sad to crash your party, care if we join in?" a nod and smirk is given to Cheetah. "So we meet again, crazy cat lady. Forgot your tacky princess dress somewhere, did you?"

Joker has posed:
Joker giggles, "Oh, lookie here! And this one's got jokes of his own! Not exactly witty, but I appreciate the attempt. Still, I'm afraid the audience didn't laugh, so it looks like you bombed!"

He twirls that watch chain as he speaks, round and round and round, letting go at the finish and flinging the watch at the end towards Drake and Buffy. Just what could it be?

Well, it's a bomb, duh.

"Don't you worry about me holding up my end, fluffykins, I'm used to dealing with multiple partners. I'm a swinger!"

Cheetah has posed:
Dead. Volt. Is. Dead. Cheetah's expression goes from merely 'hellish' to 'endless abyss of misanthropic hatred' in the blink of an eye. Though she has learned to enjoy her super-powers, she's clearly still a little sensitive about the fur thing.

Without further consultation with her newfound (and somewhat pasty) BFF, Cheetah bolts. One instant she's leaning forward as though about to step into an easy jog; the next instant she's a translucent blur of movement. She closes the distance between her previous position and Volt's hidey-hole instantly. Just as she arrives in style, the sound of Buffy's voice registers in her mind. Cheetah drops out of super-speed and stares incredulously in Buffy's general direction, "You!?! AGAIN?!?!" Seriously...does Buffy not have a job to go to?

For the nonce, Buffy has the whole of Cheetah's attention. Volt is briefly ignored. He's obviously some hobo; Cheetah can gobble him up at her leisure. Just then the shiny orb of Joker's watch-bomb sallies into her peripheral vision...

Volt has posed:
Through the veil of his ridiculous sunglasses, Volt's gaze sideshifts to Buffy as she steps out into the open and assumes a stance. He doesn't have time to comment. He'd /love/ to comment. But before he can, the threats are making the first moves. First up, Joker is lobbing something their way. Street instincts are urging caution of force, so he's tucking a little more into his cover. He threw it for a reason! Right?

About the same time, Cheetah seems to have been fully aggro'd. He'll prepare to deal with the rammifications outside the warehouse, ideally. Where he has more room, and can at least temporarily separate the two cohorts-

But she stopped. She stopped to stare at Buffy. "Oowoo, what's this?," he muses. The two have history?

And probably about that time, that bomb is gonna go off. Thankfully he'll be spared the brunt of it, but still knocked back from the blast, landing on the asphalt outside on his rear and knocking the sunglasses askew on his face.

Buffy Summers has posed:
Buffy Summers narrows her eyes, watching Joker's every move, and she's already not there when the bomb hits, leaping to the side and jumping clear of the explosion - mostly. The force does cause her to stumble a bit, but she barely misses a beat, climbing to her feet and rushing towards The Joker, launching a well-placed punch aimed at his face with significantly more force than any normal human could, should it connect. "I always loved swing dance, question is, can you keep up with me?" even if the punch doesn't hit, she'll duck down and attempt to knock him off his feet with a low footsweep aimed at his ankles. Cheetah is given a grin as she approaches. "Sorry 'sweetheart', a little busy right now."

Joker has posed:
Joker ducks the blow thrown his way, feeling the wind of it as it almost catches him, "Oh dear, somebody's been taking their vitamins. Here, let me throw in a nutritious breakfast!" he says. He squeezes the flower in his lapel and a burst of gas hits Buffy square in the face. Luckily, it's not his most toxic mix, just a useful knockout gas that will momentarily overwhelm the teen heroine, causing her to swoon and fall away.

Joker puts a hand on his hip and watches as Cheetah and the bow blunder prepare to cross swords, more than content just to watch and see what Chetah can do for herself.

"C'mon, get him, put a little pepper in it, hey batter batter, that's right, don't let that palooka get one up on ya, c'mon, kick him right in the persimmons!"

Cheetah has posed:
Joker's watch-bomb detonates a short distance from Cheetah. The shockwave rakes over her fur; however, no real harm seems to have been inflicted by the explosion. The noise and the flash on the other hand...

Cheetah grimaces in pain and her hands leap up to cover her ears. Sometimes having super-senses is just no fun. Her eyes have tightened into hateful, green slits through which she watches Buffy duck, weave, and collapse. Is she dead? Please say she's dead. Volt's continued presence doesn't appear to be causing any undue concern. It's not like he'd have any form of super-power anyone would need to be worried about.

Volt has posed:
Volt, scamp that he is, doesn't stay down! His persimmons remain unmolested! He kicks his legs up and backrolls smoothly to his feet again. A hand lifts, sunglasses are straightened on his face, and he reassesses the situation. Wait, where'd the blonde go?

Rather than flee like a sensible person, he moves in more of an arc around the entrance to get a look inside. And there she is, collapsed at Joker's feet. He didn't get to see anything that would've suggested Buffy were anything more than a karate girl with maybe a bit more confidence than is strictly healthy. Case in point: there she is.

"Hey!," he shouts, pointing accusingly at Joker. "Don't you hurt her! Whatever-her-name-is!" Cheetah isn't being ignored, per se. But anything to pause the nefarious clown from killing someone (who, granted, might already be dead) would be worthwhile.

Joker has posed:
Joker looks slowly down at Buffy, "Her? You don't want me to hurt her? Gosh, I don't know. I mean, she's just laying here all unconscious and, I have to be honest, my first impulse is to wake her up by pouring lemon juice in her eyes. I mean, it's so funny, watching them sputter and scream. 'My eyes, my eyes, my god, I'm blind!' he mimics in a funny voice. Well, funny to him.

"Also, world class lady supervillain probably getting close to ripping your spine out. Just saying. Maybe you should run. I know, crazy thought, but it IS preferable to death. Maybe. I don't know your tastes."

Cheetah has posed:
Cheetah shakes her head clearing away the cobwebs. She and the Joker are going to have delicate conversation about explosions and proximity sometime very soon. Focus returns to her vision and she registers Volt a short distance away. Cheetah slouches down in a form not dissimilar to an Olympic sprinter. She darts toward Volt at incredible speed: her claws are out, his back is in her crosshairs.

Volt has posed:
"I'm warnin' you, chuckles, don't!" Volt's been avoiding playing his hand for a reason. Once it's played, it's played. There are no generators here to sap energy from and amp himself. Buffy's down on the floor, so any blanket attacks are going to hurt her as well. The most direct application of his powers might be enough here, but he really prefers his options!

But the Joker's right. Miss Kitty is present and accounted for. And she's moving in a flash. Those claws look horrifying, and the look on her face is savage. There's no time. There won't be any dodging her rush.

In an instant, the air surrounding Volt comes alive with glittering ionic energy - a veritable sheath of brilliant blue lightning coursing about his frame at a full five foot radius. The nearby door to the warehouse is instantly caught and slammed forcefully open, the sidewalk underfoot scorching under the intense electrical force. He's aiming for non-lethal currents, but only just. Let her collide with that.

Joker has posed:
Joker jumps back at the sudden arrival of electrical bolts to the situation, "Gosh darn it! These superpeople are everywhere out here. This is why I don't leave Gotham!" he shouts.

He pulls out a gun, "Sorry, sister, we'll figure a chance to jam sometime, but, much as I like you, I'm not getting my whoopie cushion toasted on your account. Just don't zap my way, kiddo, or I'll put a bullet in the sleeping beauty there," he says, keeping the pistol aimed at the unconscious Buffy as he moves to back away.

Cheetah has posed:
The first indication Cheetah has of a problem is when the fine hairs on her body suddenly stand erect as she enters the still forming ionic penumbra. It's a bit of a blur after that. The roiling energy bolts run their agitating fingers all over her body as Cheetah's momentum takes her deeper and deeper into the electric field. Her high-pitched squeal is lost in a monstrous >SNAPBANG< as the ionic lightning is discharged sending her hurtling back and away from Volt. She lands with a thump just outside the ruined warehouse door. The sickly smell of burnt fur lingers in the air.

Volt has posed:
And just as suddenly as it had formed, the electrical aura vanishes into thin, but burnt, air. Volt doesn't show it, but he's very relieved to find that she's not innately immune to the elements. That would jack things /all/ up.

He spares her a glance to mark where she's wound up, then immediately looks back to the Joker. Gun! He has a gun! That's cheating! Thinks the guy with superpowers. His stance shifts, bringing his left foot forward and raising the same arm, fingers splayed. Tendrils of brilliant blue energy coiling along his forearm and hand. "That's the deal?," he asks. He doesn't like it. Taking in this guy would probably do wonders for his image; help validate him. But it can't come at the cost of Buffy's life. It won't. "Fine. Done. Go, and don't hurt'er."

He's sort of assuming there's another entrance to the warehouse besides the one he's standing in the middle of.

Joker has posed:
Joker manages to head to the front door, backing slowly, "Sure, absolutely, you have my word, blood oath, promises, no backsies, we have a deal, iron-clad, you may be assured of my integrity, every confidence, we see eye to eye, no tricks here, not a one, I'm playing it straight with you, Captain Homeless Teen, we are making a fair and negotiated even trade for -- KITTY GET UP AND RUN FOR IT I'LL DISTRACT 'IM!" he yells.

He raises the gun and shoots at Drake but, rather than a conventional bullet, the projectile explodes in a shower of sparkling fireworks along the way, a flare of phosphorous that likely blinds Drake for a brief momentito and gives Cheetah a chance to run for it if she's so inclined.

"LOVE YOU, TOODLES!" Joker yells as he runs out the door.

Cheetah has posed:
Well, what do you know? The Joker isn't a total lush. Not that Cheetah needed any prodding. Lions aren't the only cats famed for some well-timed cowardice. The electric slap-down was epic, but Cheetah has recovered (more or less) with remarkable swiftness. She'll be more careful next time. And there WILL be a next time, Volt. Make no mistake.

A ferocious growl rips out of Cheetah's snarling mouth. It's an impotent gesture of rage directed at Volt that amounts to very little. This done, the cat woman turns and 'vanishes' in a blinding explosion of speed.

Volt has posed:
There's a rule about these things. You say something once, we believe you. Twice, we're suspicious. Thrice, you're lying. Volt is full-blown frowning by the fifteenth platitude. He expects something nefarious to unfold. He's ready for it. Muscles are tensed like a compressed coil, ready to spring into action. And when he raises to fire at him, Volt is quick to dive to the side - quite unnecessarily - but is nevertheless surprised by what the gun actually shoots. Sparkly fireworks.

"Sunglasses, ya dink!," he shouts after Joker, despite the fact that the ploy seems to've worked. But hey, for once the sunglasses-at-night served a purpose, kind of.

He whirls on Cheetah, ready to take her on at the sound of the growl. But she completely vanishes, too fast to track with his muggle eyes. And in an instant, the surroundings fall completely silent, but for the distant sound of sirens. He'll need to make himself scarce, but not before checking up on, and subsequently taking care of, Buffy.