Owner	Pose
Raphael	Raphael... well, it's no doubt he's been all over the place lately mentally. Between trying to continue to be the cool but rude guy and maintaining his secret identity from his brothers, especially Leo, Raph has noticed that he's been off target lately. His head hasn't been in the game, and the Nightwatcher hasn't caught a single bad guy in weeks.     It's only now that he remembers Leo's invitation for meditation training, and while he's worried the elder turtle brother knows his secret, he also knows Leo is the best person to help him get back in order. And so, the angriest terrapin makes his way to Leo's room, offering a knock. "Hey, bro? Still offering that lesson?" he asks loudly, "Ya know, meditatin' help?"
Leonardo	Meditation is one of those things people either get or don't get at first. It can be learned, and it can be practiced, but some take to it more naturally than others. Some have the ability to find that place of peace more easily, while others struggle with it. As much as it has become second nature for one Leonardo of Clan Hamato, it was not always that way. Often a thinker, second only to Donatello most of the time, it took a while for Splinter to get him to the point of being able to let his mind slow down and relax to the point meditation could follow. Believe it or not. When Raphael pokes his head into the room, kept in a very Japanese style, the turtle's shell is to the doorway. He is not meditating, but as he turns his head, the mask down at his neck, he sets a pair of pruning shears aside. He is working on a small bonsai tree. "Raphael," he begins, a brow rising. "I wasn't sure if you'd ever ask. You're interested, then?" His eyes seek out his brother's, to read them, his expression, his body language.
Raphael	Raoh works to keep his face placid, but he's not very good at hiding his emotions. He's clearly in turmoil about something, but what that might be is anyone's guess. He is sporting a few bruises, but whether that's from failures as Raphael on solo patrol or Nightwatcher wounds is hard to tell. When Leo turns to face him, and the angry brother sees he's working on a bonsai tree, he bites his tongue. Leo's not a nerd this time.     "Yeah," he says, "Patrols ain't goin' well, and I just feel... scrambled, ya know? Need to get my head on straight if I'm gonna catch the bad guys, bro, and much as I hate to say it sometimes, you're the best one to come to other'n Master Splinter, ya know?" He offers a shrug, then steps into the room properly, crossing his arms. "Even I gotta admit you always seem so collected, ya know?"
Leonardo	There are things all of them are 'nerds' for, even if Donnie is Nerd King around here. The title, the crown, is undisputed. Purple is even a royal color. Everyone knows this. Leonardo rises from the kneeling position he'd been in, leaving the mask down for now. Some of them may have noticed a slightly different Leo depending on whether it's being worn in the usual place or not. With it around the eyes, he's often much more businesslike, serious, stern. Oh, there are jokes and there are laughs, but when the mask is down, so is some of his guard. "Yeah, sure, bro. Of course. Come in. Make yourself comfortable." There is also a kettle of green tea being kept warm on a small hot plate, so he doesn't always have to go to the kitchen for anything other than the water. "Me? Collected? Ahh, that's just a front. Sometimes I feel like I'm barely holding things together around here, but it's important to have ways to keep myself centered and balanced. Stuff's been going sideways for you?" Sympathy in the words, understanding in the expression.
Raphael	No disputing that they all have their nerdy vices, but Donnie leads and Leo and Mikey often jockey for second depending on the situation. At least according to their red-clad brother. But this time he's thankful for that, glad for Leo's solid mental game. Even if it's a front, it's better than Raph can manage most days.     While he may be among the most physically intimidating turtles (all of them have that to be fair, but there's a reason he wears the color of aggression) he's probably one of the most susceptible to mental weakness.     Raph seems surprised to hear that Leo considers his calmness to be a front most of the time, but doesn't question it. "You hide it well, then. You always seem so... unflappable. I need that sorta thing right now."
Leonardo	Is Leo being serious about it as a front, or is he just trying to lighten the mood, knowing how serious Raphael often is? "Ahh, I didn't mean it's that bad, bro. Sometimes I just worry a lot about the decisions I make and how they affect the rest of you. Master Splinter taught us everything we know and prepared us for all of this, but it's not easy being the leader. It's important to keep a clear head. Meditation helps me a lot with that." The bonsai is left behind him, and he pours a pair of cups of tea. One is brought over and offered to the one who more outwardly struggles with his anger and emotions than the rest, then he says, "If you want to learn how to meditate, first we need a quiet place, but I think it's important you have a place you can always go to for it when you need to. It could be your room. It could be somewhere else. We can use mine to start with."
Raphael	Raphael can't read Leo. It's something that often brings them to verbal blows, but today it's exactly why he's sought his elder brother out. "I get that, I think," he says, "Much as I hate it sometimes, Master made a good choice makin' you our leader. I'm too rash, Donnie's too indecisive and distractable, and Mikey... well, Mikey's just too impulsive. Kinda has to be you, doesn't it?" He offers a small smirk, before popping a knuckle or three. "Don't tell anyone I said that, though."     Perhaps that admission more than anything will tell Leo how scrambled his younger brother truly is.     "Right," he says, "I can use my room after, probably." He also has the Nightwatcher chamber if he needs to get away, though obviously he doesn't say that out loud. "Thanks for this..."
Leonardo	"Process of elimination isn't exactly a glowing compliment, you know," Leonardo puts forth, reaching out to thump his brother on a shoulder without realizing if there's any bruising there or not. "But from you, I'll take what I can get." No, he's not used to Raphael saying anything good about him. Their relationship is often adversarial, every bit a sibling rivalry that leads to them butting heads frequently, but it hasn't changed their overall support of each other in terms of being there when something is needed. They may fight, even sometimes come to blows when one or both of them gets too stubborn, but it always subsides, it always leads to them getting back on the right path. He sets his own cup nearby before settling into a typical meditation position for him. "Ah, don't worry about it. It's what brothers do. First you have to make yourself comfortable. You need to relax, and I know that's hard for you. It's going to help you focus, but I'll tell you the same thing I told Pippi back at the farm. Ask yourself what you want out of meditation. To focus? To handle stress? Some also use it to cope with different kinds of pain."
Raphael	The leader does in fact hit a bruise, but Raphael doesn't so much as flinch at the contact. "Yeah, yeah," he says, shaking his head, "Ya know what I mean..." He grumbles a bit, before taking a sip of the offered tea and quickly setting it aside as Leo does the same. He mimics his brother's position, though his stance is more open as though he feels like he might have to scramble in a hurry. He looks comfortable enough, though, so perhaps he's just being Raph in this regard.     Sibling rivalry is right. Raph is a proud turtle, and sometimes his mind gets the better of him and tells him he should lead. However, some part of him always knows he's too rash, too reckless, and too ill-tempered to do the job as well as Leo. Even if it chafes their relationship at times. Times like now, however, things such as that are set aside. This is a brother seeking help from his brother. Nothing could be more genuine.     "I guess a little of all three," he says, "Thugs are gettin' the better of me lately because I ain't focused, I'm gettin'a lot more lumps than I'm used to, and that's pissin' me off more than ever." Yeah, he's in rough mental shape. Physically reflecting his mental state today more than most.
Leonardo	Leonardo makes Raphael the center of his attention. Donatello could be working on his latest invention or just diving deep into some musical cuts, and Leo wouldn't know. Mikey could be tearing up the tunnels on his skateboard or going all out with the latest video game he's been playing, and it wouldn't matter. Alopex, Pippi, Nemean, even Splinter - all of them are secondary right now. "All three and nothing else? Or is there more? Bro, I know you enough to know it takes a lot for you to tell me that. Sometimes I think you let people hit you just because you like the rush, but you're more than good enough to wipe the floor with most of the dudes we run up against. Are you taking on groups that are too many for you, or what?" He adds, before getting too far off the subject, "By the way, your breathing? Start by focusing on that. Just let it be as it is. Don't try to change it. Once you've got that, try to let all the other crap in your head go and feel how you move with each breath. I'll go first, so you can see. Then, you try it. See if you can go for thirty seconds or so." Leo asked Pippi to start with a minute. Apparently he doesn't think Raphael has that long in him right away. The mind naturally wants to go other places. He begins with his hands resting against his knees, eyes closing, the picture of relaxation in his expression. Slow breathing, in and out, upper body moving faintly up and down.
Raphael	Raph, on the other hand, can't seem to focus on just Leo, at least not initially. His mind wanders to the damaged armor in his secret room, the need to oil and replace his chains, the mess he left in the last alley he was in. The fear that the very brother he came to for help might already know his secret.     However, Leo's words bring him back to reality. He shakes his hesd a bit to clesr it, nodding slightly. "Yeah... mostly the focus thing, though. My senses seem... dulled lately. I've been getting jumped by unseen partners to the guys I'm takin' down and, even though I'm comin' out the better, it's gettin' to me that I'm so far off my guard I can't tell they're there until they're on me lately." It's true he loves the rush of combat more than most things, but when he's so disteacted that he's taking stray hits, he knows he's in bad form.     Leo is right to assume Raph has less patience and focus than Pippi in this matter, and the thirty seconds that he forces to focus on his breathing seems like an eternity. But he notes a few things, notably that he seems to be breathing faster than Leo, though he manages to do as the eldest brother asks and doesn't change it. Second is that he can feel more acutely just how damaged he is. However, he gives his all to focusing on his breath, letting other thoughts float by.
Leonardo	Like this, Leonardo is so tuned in that he can hear Raphael's breathing. Whether it's twice as fast or just faster, he points out, "Better meditation will come when you can slow your breathing down, but that will also come as you get more comfortable with it and start to clear your thoughts more easily. When you feel yourself losing it, don't fight to hold on. Let it go, then start again when you're ready. You will get frustrated if you try to force it." He ought to know. Been there, done that. "But if you're missing others who are there, it sounds like you need to become more aware of what's around you before you get into a fight. I know, you won't always be able to, but if you're getting surprised you're lucky it's only been you taking some extra hits and not something worse," Leo points out.
Raphael	Raph lets his eyes close, trying to keep focus and, at his brother's note, deepen his breathing. However, he makes the exact error Leo warns about a moment later, and after a brief moment lets the attempt go, though he does continue working on slowing his breath down a bit.     He can see now why this will be hard for him.     Raph nods a bit, already attempting to reset and concentrating on slowing his breathing again. "Yeah, you're not wrong there. Been a bit too hot-headed lately. Even for me."
Leonardo	Leonardo cracks open one eye at Raphael's confession. "I never thought I'd hear you admit that. Maybe this is already beginning to work for you. You'll be better in no time." Then he shakes his head, clarifying, "I didn't really mean that. It took me a number of tries before it started to stick. I still have trouble with it once in a while." It's part of what led to the farm trip. "But the more you do it, the easier it should get." Back to both eyes shut, and he resettles himself, adjusting his position slightly. "For now, just repeat what you're doing for a few minutes. Keep trying to relax, to let the fights fade, to let the distractions fade, to let how jealous you are that I'm better than you fade." Again he looks toward Raphael to gauge his reaction to this. "That was me testing you. But think about what you feel each time, and try to see if you can go a few more seconds the next one, then the one after that. You don't have to tell me what you feel unless you want to. The good thing is there's no time limit on this."
Raphael	"Har har," Raph replies sardonically, his eyes closing as he works on focusing. In and out, slow that down. Repeat, repeat, repeat. He's already starting to find it a bit easier, the slow breathing helping him forget the stiffness and pain in his muscles from constant scraps. Leo's words wash over him, and he seems unfazed by them. No further quips, no sarcastic response. At least not at first.     He takes the elder brother's advice, letting go when his focus wavers, resetting and trying again once his frustration passes. However, while most of Leo's words pass by, his last statement about him being better than Raph rankles, and his concentration wavers immediately. "You... Damnit," he says, "Rose right to it." He shakes his head in a bit of disappointment, then returns to working on his breathing, almost immediately slowing it back down after his quick rise.     He could always sock his brother one later, after all.
Leonardo	Grinning, whether Raphael is looking or not, Leonardo chuckles. "Yeah, you did. Like a moth to a flame. Eventually I might be able to call you all sorts of things or try to distract you in other ways and you won't even react. I'll get you your favorite pizza when that day comes." Following this, he allows silence to reign until Raphael has had his fill of practicing, only interrupting him to say, "Let me know if you're getting hung up on anything along the way." He rises to give his brother some room to go at his own pace, returning to some bonsai snipping in the meantime.
Raphael	Raph grumbles a bit, though no clear words can be made out. Instead, he turns his focus inward again, nodding vacantly at Leo's further commentary. "Yer on," he offers with a smirk, then continues his practice. Leo, even with his back turned, would be able to hear the pattern. Steady breathing, deep and peaceful for upward of two minutes, before Raph's regular faster breathing takes back over, occasionally accompanied with a small, frustrated growl.     However, after several repetitions, the pause between slow and fast breathing starts to grow. Three minutes. Four. Five. And...     That seems to be his limit, though when he breaks again after five full minutes, his breathing only barely increases in speed and there's no more frustrated growling. Progress!
Leonardo	Leonardo might just know good ways to 'manipulate' his brother for the best, to push him in certain ways. Perhaps an hour goes by before the longest effort follows. "That wasn't bad," he says, sounding openly pleased. By this point, the bonsai tree, small as they often are, looks complete. "Do you want to call it there for now? You've been there like that for a while." While five minutes is a long time for someone at the beginning stages, sometimes they've seen Leonardo go for over an hour without so much as a repositioning.
Raphael	Has it been an hour already? How time flies when you're trying to clear your mind, and Raphael can't help but seem a bit impressed by just how much time has passed. He nods and stands up, rolling his shoulders and adding a bit more energy by bouncing on his feet a bit to get his blood pumping again. "Yeah, I think that's all I got in me for now," he says, crossing his arms. "Thanks again, bro. We might not always get along, but... I'm glad we can always count on each other, ya know? Even if you're over there bein' a tree nerd."     Still gotta quip.     He offers a small wave and smile, then makes his way out, heading for his own room. Despite his words, he might actually be setting up to practice even more. Who can tell?
Leonardo	Leonardo sniffs once, a form of amusement. "I might want to put you through a wall sometimes, but I'll always be there when you need me. Nothing is going to change that," he tells his brother, the poking at him over the bonsai work going unanswered. The wave is returned, then he turns back to his work. The bonsai gets a couple more minute clips done, then he seems content. Raphael may have even surprised him today, in a good way. The next time, there will be a few harder tests to see how much progression has taken place. After finishing off his cup of tea, he sets it aside and takes up a spot so he can do his own meditation.