Owner	Pose
Lexi Nemo	The roof is the place a lot of people to go for quiet, for romantic watching the stars moments, or as a place to read and enjoy the outdoors up and above the hustle and bustle of the school below. It's also just a good place to hide...not used enough for it to be likely someone will stumble over you, and even if someone did walk through, there are enough nook and corners to hide away to avoid anyone noticing you.     Which is why Lexi is curled up behind severa plants in the corner, having made herself a hidey hole there the first day she arrived at school. It was reflex; having a place to hide that was safe is something she needed in Mutant Town, even if it's a safety blanket here she hasn't had any reason to use.     Until now. She didn't go back to her room last night. In her state of mind, she lurked long enough to see the teams come back last night, then scampered bakc up here. She knows they're back and alive. Heroes. Certainly not like her. And she feels like she can't face her friends, even Tabitha, when she has come to a realization after last night.     She's realized she's just a coward, deep down. She must be. She doesn't want to face danger, she wants to run away from it. She doesn't want to learn to fight from Diya, because she's scared of being as violent and hard as she is. She doesn't even know if she can be what Yana wants her to be, where she can be helpful to her.     So she's up here, knees pulled up against her chest, as she hides her face against her knees. Still struggling with the idea of going down where she'll have to face the fact she's a failure to what her friends need.
Yana Asarov	Yana had slept some, gotten up early and then went to find Lexi -and- Tabitha. Of course, neither were present. Which didn't have her worried until she couldn't find Lexi in the kitchen. Or, on the grounds. At which point, Yana had at least found Diya, and told her that Lexi was not to be found anywhere. The two had then searched a few other places on the grounds, until Yana remembered something she'd once heard Lexi say. She tells Diya, looking at her Russian counterpart, "I just remembered something. She likes going to the rooftops. Went up there, to be with Tabitha for the first time. Let's go check up there."     She leads Diya up to the rooftops -- and, well, however good a hidey hole Lexi may have, she can't hide from Yana's sensory relay. And, well, Diya can scent her out. So it's only a matter of moments upon reaching the rooftops that the two are able to find Lexi.     At which point, recognizing at least some of the emotions running through Lexi, Yana responds, "What the hell are you doing up here, hiding? I just had to leave a half a plate of hash-browns because I couldn't eat them all."
Klavdiya Vasiliev	Informed that Lex is '''still''' missing, Diya was worried. Worried, she immediately set to helping Yana to find the girl, not at all shy about sniffing the mauve mutant girl out. But once she is found, Diya lets Yana take the lead; last time Diya tried to talk to her, Lex ran away and apparently disappeared. She had best shut her big Russian mouth rather than make things worse. So, like, pay no attention to the ashen blonde hovering in back in her Army surplus, turning half-away, trying to fade into the woodwork, despite the predator aura she can't turn off that likely makes it impossible to miss her presence.
Lexi Nemo	There's a faint flinch to the hidden girl as she hears the familiar voice. She IS hungry now. She's skipped her usual nighttime snacks, and breakfast to boot. She can feel her belly clawing at her, her body slowly cannibalizing the rest of her to make up the energy difference. It's closer than she's come in months, maybe a year, to where she can feel those insincts starting to make it harder to think.     She's just dumb enough at the moment to feel this is helping rather than dangerous, which probably says a lot about the level of angst involved.     "....hi Yana. Diya." comes from back behind the plants, a quiet, sort of dull voice. There's a slight pause, then "...glad yer okay...I guess things went well."     She makes no effort to emerge from said hiding space, even after being discovered. At least back here she doesn't have to look Yana or Diya in the eye.
Yana Asarov	"Here."     Yana had been told about Lexi's food disorder; not so much a disorder as something that consumed her sanity. The 'Here' is followed by a soft 'smack' and 'skid' sound on the rooftop of a box of oreos. Loaded with calories, no doubt.     "Now, get out of there, and come talk to us, before I ask Diya to go in and grab you by the scruff of the neck and haul you out and hold you in front of us so we can talk. Yeah? There's some chairs over there we can chill on."
Klavdiya Vasiliev	Had Diya been consulted she'd have suggested hard-boiled eggs or some kind of meat. But she wasn't. And she does '''not''' want to be called upon to ''scruff'' Lex. So she hunches her shoulders and stays back, away and silent. Because she is still blaming herself for this. Damned girl needs better friends.
Lexi Nemo	The Oreos land with a crinkle of plastic and rattle of neatly ranked cookies inside just outside of the plants the girl is hiding behind. Lexi's head comes as her eyes lock on the package, her breath catching. A low growl comes from her throat. Before she can stop herself she's on all fours and halfway to it before she pulls up short, breathing out quietly, one or planter pots rattling from her having shouldered into it on her way towards the food. She leans back, her legs splaying out to either side of her, folded up, as she rests her hands in front of her, a couple feet from the cookies, her golden eyes locked on it, before she tilts her head, looking away from both the cookies and her friend's gaze. "...."
Yana Asarov	"Eat, Lexi." Yana's voice is strict, firm, but not upset. The woman folds her arms, and looks over to Diya, more as if to exchange a glance of 'I knew this wasn't going to be easy' than to call Diya out for being responsible - which Yana isn't. At least not yet.     "Then, we'll talk. You'll be better on a full stomach. Hurry up."
Klavdiya Vasiliev	Diya's tiger would be much better at this emotional crap; she would just do what needs doing, instead of losing herself in conflicting circles of thought and feeling and guilt and crap. In short, she would pin Lex down and stuff food into her until she was fed, then lay on top of her until she stopped resisting. However, Diya is here in her two-footed capacity, which means she is trying hard not to look at any of this, just waiting, pensively, to see how this works out. 'Not well' is her best guess. Because Russian == Pessimist.
Lexi Nemo	The other girl is technically the elder of the two, when it comes to Yana. By at least a year. But Yana's tone is more an elder to a junior...and perhaps Lexi has just gotten used to obeying her. Or believes she should, just because...well, she's not feeling like she's worth much at the moment.     She swallows, then wordlessly reaches out to take the Oreos, ripping them open with a rip of the top pulling free, then just...crams them into her mouth. She's not even focusing on the flavor, or really trying to taste them. Just putting handfuls into her mouth as she munches. Swallows. Repeats. Still not looking up, even after she's rapidly emptied the package, her fingers crinkling it in her hands as she licks her lips But she does feel better...the calories falling into her waiting gut, which promptly starts ripping the sugars apart to feed her mutant metabolism.     She just doesn't look like she's budging from the floor yet. Feeling a bit doubly shamed now, because in the mood she's in, everything feels like she's going to be judged for as terrible as she believes herself to be. And she can't bear that, seeing what she's sure will be disgust or distain in their eyes.     For being weak.
Yana Asarov	"Now," says Yana patiently, "That you're feeling better - or will be soon enough, come on." Then, the blue-haired girl is holding out her hand to Lexi, "Let's go sit down and talk, Lexi." She does not, however, lean down to grab Lexi's hand. She holds it out, waiting for Lexi to make the first move.     Briefly, Yana looks over to Diya, and quietly says in Russian, << It will be fine. You both need to learn to trust me more. >> Confidence, thy name is Yana Asarov.
Klavdiya Vasiliev	~''"I never said I did not trust you, Princess."''~ Diya responds. And she does not turn around, does not look. Perhaps it is because she wants to give Lex the privacy she needs to deal with things in life. She's not here to crowd anyone. No judgement. Just silence.
Lexi Nemo	And perhaps suprisingly for the other women, for the first time, the mauve girl responds to Yana's comment directly. And in the same language.     <<I do trust you. But I hold you both back.>>     Her accent is terrible...like a mix of accents, which combined with her being a native English speaker makes it understandable, but definitely practiced by someone who hasn't been drilled in proper pronunciation.     After that brief response, she falls silent again, her head tilting up slightly, before she says, in English this time. "I hold you back. You're strong, but I'm not. You have to watch me and protect me and....and I'm not...." She swallows again, looking down. "...I'm weak. I...I can't even...I'm scared of fighting. I'm a coward....Diya..I asked her, and when she told me that it would make me hard and...and violent, I just...."     She sniffles. "I-I c-couldn't, I'm just..."
Yana Asarov	Okay. The fact that Alexia is suddenly speaking Russian, and well? Even if it's a terrible, odd accent? That causes Yana's features to screw up, curiously. Perhaps even, momentarily, humorously. She exchanges a very clear 'WTF?! Did you know?!' look with Diya, before looking back to Lexi.     "Well, clearly you don't hold me back," reasserting her more familiar ground as the 'dysfunctional family leader', if that's even right. "Because I got on the New Mutants. And I went on the mission. If you held me back, I wouldn't have been there. And if you were scared of fighting, you wouldn't have protected Tabitha when you got sent to Mojoworld against your violition. So. Pretty much, you've underestimated yourself again. You conquered the training simulation I created for you on your third try. Pretty damn good, considering you've had no training at all, before."     That's her .02, anyways.     "So, basically, in the moment, when the time to act calls for it? You seem to be able to act just fine. And then when it requires you to ask for it, or, to think about it? You hesitate. You -think- you can't do it, so you don't. When you've already proven to yourself, and to Ms. Grey, Mr. Summers, Tabitha, me, Diya, and everyone else, you can."
Klavdiya Vasiliev	Diya's head whips around at that awful accent speaking Russian, proving Lex can actually understand and respond - if poorly - in Russian. She stares at the mauve mutant, then glances at Yana, giving a tiny shake of her head. No, she had no idea. "You are not holding me back, Lex." Diya states, firmly, in that razor-edged Russian of hers. "Being scared to fight is not cowardice. Fighting is hard, dangerous, and often terrifying. '''Doing it anyway''' when you must is the definition of bravery. But I don't want you to become like me. I think that would be a waste of who you are."
Lexi Nemo	There's another quiet sniff from the girl, before she rubs her eyes with her hand, catching the liquid glistening. "I was terrified in...in Mojoworld. I just wanted ta run away with Tabby...then she got hurt because I wasn't good enough....if..if I'd gone with you on your mission, I would have just...ya would have had ta be watching me instead of doin' what ya had ta do..." She glances to Diya. "What am I? What good am I?"     She stops, swallowing, her breath shakey as she sounds on the verge of tears again. "...what -good- am I if I'm a coward when ya need me?" she says in a small, hopeless voice.     Because that's her fear...that she'll fail this weird family she's fallen into. Or her friends. Or her girlfriend. That she'll break and run when they need her.     She can't hold it in, her head dipping down as her eyes overflow, a droplet running down either cheek to drip to the tiled floor, spattering there.
Yana Asarov	Ooookay. No chairs. It doesn't look like today is going to be a chair day. So, Yana sighs a bit, and lowers herself to the ground to sit near Lexi, and gestures, to indicate Diya ought to do the same so the three girls are sitting a in a little sort-of-circle. "Well. I'd suggest we go ask Tabitha, who stated you saved her life in Mojoworld to me, her most hated person ever, on the face of the planet," Yana says with a mixture of sincerity and a bit of purposeful sarcasm to lighten the mood a little. She knows she's overexaggerating (at least a little) about how Tabitha feels about her. "Or, maybe we can go ask the girl whose life you saved in the brothel whose now a personal messenger for my mother, from Razorface."     She leans forward, and lightly smacks the back of Lexi's head. Literally. "Do Diya and I look like the type of people who waste our time with worthless people? Get off it, Lexi."
Klavdiya Vasiliev	Awkward and uncertain - damnit, not more emotions! - Diya climbs over the planters and crouches, then sits down half-facing Lex. "Lex, I think you have failed to understand something important." She speaks very softly, but with directed, ferocious intent. "I am a soldier. Yes? I have been in battle and under threat many times. Yes?" Diya waits until both other women acknowledge her points. Then and only then does she continue. "Only a moron fails to feel fear in those situations. I have been afraid each and every time. No exceptions." Why else does all of this become PTSD? Those intense feelings of fear, and the relief of survival, leave serious and indellable marks on the psyche. "The key is not letting the fear win: finding it in yourself to act anyway, as best you can, and trusting in your teammates and allies to get you through, together." There are reasons why special forces units so profoundly emphasize breaking down the soldiers only to raise them up as a team together. "You did that. You faced your fear, your terror, and you did what you had to do to get yourself and Tabitha out, alive. No warning. No preparation. No planning. And still you did it. That is not a coward." Diya chuffs softly. "A coward would have abandoned Tabitha despite their love. Blind with terror, the coward would have run away, and probably died in the running." Pause. "That is not you."
Lexi Nemo	The mauve lets out a little yelp as she's cuffed lightly. "...a messenger?" she says after a moment, finally looking up to blink at the two women sitting near her, faint suprise flickering through her eyes, blinking as another tear escaps to flit down her cheek before she rubs her eyes again. "...she doesn't hate ya..." she protests, sniffling again. But she's at least listening to Yana now.     And when Diya speaks, those gold eyes turn to the oldest of the three. She nods at Diya's first question, frowning a little. "...but I always want to run...it was just...I couldn't run without her." she says haltingly. "It's th' first thing...alla time...I want ta run an hide. I can't be strong like ya. I can't...I couldn't do what ya did in th' brothel." she says softly. "An' ya need me to be strong like that...don't you?" She looks uncertainly up at the pair.
Yana Asarov	"I recall telling you that you needed to learn how to fight," Yana tells Lexi, looking at the mauve girl sidelong, "Because you need to know how to defend yourself. And because you have a natural ability to do that. To help protect people. Like Tabitha. Or, the girls in the brothel. Doesn't mean you have to kill people. Matter of fact, I got yelled at by Ms. Grey for killing a simulation person my first run after the dinosaur rider tried to flambe me."     Yes, Diya. She just said dinosaur rider.     "Here, they want you to use control of your powers, and - well, be above reproach. Minimal force to safeguard the situation. So, sadly," she reaches over and pats Lexi's leg, "No slaughterfests anytime soon. But, if you don't want to fight? You don't have to. I thought you'd like to help protect people. To learn how to hold your own, if and when a fight came to you." Because, let's face it. Mauve mutant girl? Fights are coming.
Klavdiya Vasiliev	"Any sane goddamned person wants to run, Lex." Diya offers sharply. "Don't be an idiot. My point is, you didn't run without Tabitha. She was wounded, and couldn't keep up. And you stayed with her, and got it done. When we went into that hellhole, you followed us, and you took care of the girls, while we did what we had to do. That is teamwork. That is not cowardice." As for the rest of it, Diya says not one goddamned word. Her version of 'control of her powers' is trying to find a gun big enough that when its trigger is pulled with its muzzle against her head, it's enough to overcome her damned healing and kill her good and dead. Until then she just avoids actually biting anyone else. Let the curse die with her. Wait. Dinosaur riders and breaking flame? What the Hell?
Lexi Nemo	Those gold eyes flick to Yana (looking slightly confused at the mention of dinosaur riders) then back to Diya, twitching slightly at the bluntness. But she's a bit used to that by now at least....it doesn't seem to stick quite as deep as it could have, those sharper words.      Her breathing at least has stabilized from the little shuddering hitches now, though she rubs a thumb against her eyes again, chasing the last of the moisure threatening to leak out of them again. "...I...I do...I want to help...I just...I don't want to let ya both down." she admits, squirming a little as she leans back to look more pu at the other two. "I wanna be useful. You've both done so much for me, when ya didn't have to..."
Yana Asarov	"The only way you'd let me down is if you didn't try," Yana points out to Lexi, mildly, "I don't care if you're on the New Mutants, or not. But, Diya and I would both feel more comfortable if you could at least defend yourself well, knew how. You don't have to desire to go looking for a fight, but knowing how to protect yourself is a different story." The blue-haired russian continues, tactfully, "So, you up then to running a few training simulations with me, still? Like before? We'll start slow. And, maybe Diya can even help with that. As well as give you some basics in hand-to-hand training. You don't have to learn the best way to kill someone from her. But, she can show you some holds, and things I might not know. I was mainly trained in Sambo."
Klavdiya Vasiliev	Diya just chuffs and shakes her head. "You haven't let me down, Lex. You brought me, and mine, food when we had none. You made sure to find me a place to hide and heal, when you barely knew me. You protected the woman you love when all Hell quite literally broke loose all around you. And despite knowing better, you brought me here, to better meals and hot showers than I have had since I went on the run almost two years ago." That's it. That's about all of the talking nice Diya has in her. Take it, or suffer. "I am sure many can teach you self defense. A school like this, I am guessing all of the teachers know it." Diya complains. "But if you really want to learn from me, I will teach you." Somehow, she will find a way to keep from turning Lex into what Diya herself has become. Somehow. Stupid freaking damned miracles worked before breakfast. Stupid princess. Damnit. Why all the feels?!
Lexi Nemo	Lexi licks her lips slightly, looking between the two of you. She's listening now, pulled out of her funk, her tears having dried up completely. Finally, she says, in a small, hopeful voice. "R-really?"     It's still hesistant, and a little fragile. "...I...I want to try." she says after a moment. "An' I want to learn from ya, Diya. I know I'm not...um...I'm not..what is best for a soldier. But...you an' Yana...both of ya, I wanna...be more like -you- guys. You're both really strong, in so many ways. I don't wanna give up..." she says, looking more determined. "If ya think I can do it..."
Yana Asarov	"Good."     Yana reaches her hand up, as if to cup Lexi's cheek, perhaps. Or maybe to pat her head. Instead? Yana flicks her index finger into Lexi's forehead, hard. Just, not empowered. So not too hard. But hard enough to be felt.     "That," she says, practically, "Is for not telling Diya or I you could speak Russian all this time. And for making me think I was speaking privately with her. And you were eavesdropping." The slight curve to Yana's mouth, though, suggests she's not really mad. Mostly, she'd really just spoken to Diya in her own tongue to make the woman feel more at home. And, because it made Yana feel more at home as well.     "I've said it since the day I met you, Lexi. You have great potential. But if you don't believe in yourself, there's nobody that can help you." She looks meaningfully at the mauve girl. "But. Yes. We can. We will help you. No more sulking. Or, next time, I'm bringing the tiger up here. And I'm going to YouTube her grooming you. For the entire world to see."     There's a slightly teasing tone to her words, though, and the expression she shoots Diya says, 'yes, I'm kidding'.
Klavdiya Vasiliev	"If I didn't believe it, I wouldn't bother saying it, Lex." Diya offers. "I prefer not to say anything at all." And their association would prove that out; Diya much prefers not to say a word. So if she's going to bother to speak, she must feel the words she uses are important, and to be taken seriously. This might be why she gets so angry when people discount what she says. Just a clue. Maybe.
Lexi Nemo	Lexi blinks as Yana's hand gets close, then yelps as she's flicked, holding her forehead. "Ow!" But there's a impish little curve to her lips at the accusation of eavesdropping. She's not going to deny it. She huffs. "Well, you're the ones who started tryin' ta talk it in fronta me so I wouldn't know." She frowns a bit, then sighs. "..thank you....both of ya..." she says quietly. "I'll do beter, I promise." She smiles softly at the pair. "...though I reserve th' right ta annoy ya a little still."