3067/Blowing Off Steam

Blowing Off Steam
Date of Scene:	06 November 2017
Location:	New York City
Synopsis:	Skye and May have a heart to heart, leaving Skye feeling only slightly better than when they started.. at least she stopped threatening to walk, though!
Cast of Characters:	Quake, Melinda May

---

Quake has posed:
    Ten minutes. That's what she'd said. Skye said she needed ten minutes to compose herself and regather her cool. To be honest, she had no clue how much time had passed. She'd taken herself up to the roof to walk it off. To blow off steam. It was one of those times she wished she still smoked - she'd tried it for a summer and decided it didn't sit well with her. Her lungs had protested. Still, at times like this, she craved the damned things like a boozer craved a bottle. That was a habit she hadn't cultivated beyond the occassional casual drink. But the smokes? Even though she'd not become addicted, they called to her when her nerves were frayed.
    Like they were now.
    The tiff with Nat might not have seemed like much to many, but to Skye it had been a roiling sea of undercurrents. She'd made no connections here at SHIELD. At least not until recently, and even then, very tentatively so. They weren't in her makeup. She just didn't let people in.
    To have Nat jumpt at her the way she had - over something Skye didn't quite undertand? It cut her to the core. And if she'd had a way, right that second, in the heat of the moment Skye would have walked. As it was, she was still fuming, the angry pace along the rooftop doing nothing to assuage her anger and her upset. An upset she didn't understand. Had no way of understanding given her past.

Melinda May has posed:
Having just returned from a mission overseas, May's internal clock is completely skewed. And it's becoming more difficult to deal with. But, she'll still have to deal with it, so she shuts up and deals. One of her coping mechanisms is to go outside for a few minutes, and considering her debrief is still pending the powers that be likely wouldn't appreciate her wandering off-base. So, roof it is.

She steps out onto the roof and walks around aimlessly for a moment before noticing there's someone else already up here. She approaches Skye quietly then asks in a mild conversational tone, "Taking a break from the coding?"

Quake has posed:
    All May gets for her troubles is a scowl. Skye's a thing in motion, pacing. though she stops when May arrives, aware that it's a vulnerable thing to do, to pace, to show that she's upset. Not that she can hide it all. But the depths of it is a thing she can bury in a stoic and solid stand at the rooftop wall, overlooking the ground below.
    "You could say that," she answers finally.

Melinda May has posed:
Okay, that's more than a sticky bit of code or annoyance at people insisting she rest and eat. May watches Skye for a few seconds, and tries to deduce who could have put her in this mood. She's truly peeved, so it's not Darcy. They get on like a foul-mouthed house on fire. It's not Barnes or Temple, they've been mostly busy elsewhere. It's going to be easier to just ask.

"Who was it, and how much do they need to suffer?"

Quake has posed:
    Skye casts a baleful glance May's way. "Right. Because you've got my back."
    May's right in her thinking. It's not Darcy. Those two could have been cut from the same cloth. Or Barnes - there's something of a kinship there that, if nurtured, could grow. Temple? Not likely. There are really few suspects. Unless May happens to know much about Nat's Dossier, and then the pieces should all fall neatly into place.

Melinda May has posed:
Oh hell no. "Look, Johnson, you can be as angry as you want at whomever you want. But if you have a problem with me, tell me to my face. I do NOT take kindly to passive aggressive BS." She hasn't even considered Romanova, as the woman is usually professional to a fault. And it doesn't help that she's mentally jet lagged something fierce.

Quake has posed:
    That sinks in enough that Skye stops and regrads May, long enough that she calms enough to nod. "Right. I'm not pissed at you. Pissed at this whole place, but not pissed at you."
    She's not exactly calmer, but her seething istn't directed randomly anymore.

Melinda May has posed:
Well, that's clear as mud. "So... the building did something to make you mad. I'll have to talk to the WAND specialists and make sure they didn't accidentally set a poltergeist loose." The way she says that almost sounds like she neglected to finish that sentence and there's an 'again' floating around.

Quake has posed:
    And with that, Agent May earns herself a scowl and a pained expression. "You're so amusing," Skye mutters dryly. "Look, it's not something you can solve, okay?" She shakes her head. "Seriously. What the hell is it with people anyway? Huh? So I called Clint an asshole. He was. That whole joking shit about shooting at us? And who the hell thought I meant it anyway? Miss High and Mighty takes offense because I said I see Bucky as a teammate? Fuck me. Clint wasn't there when the invasion went down. I hardly know him other than a hey, you're cute kinda way. What the hell anyway."

Melinda May has posed:
It takes May a moment or three to parse what Skye just blurted out. Barton does have occasional -- okay, frequent -- assholeish tendencies. But who is ... ohhhhh. "Okay, first off, Barton isn't a real asshole. He just plays one on TV. Two, he and Romanoff have worked together for several years, and there are times when insulting one of them will make the other bristle. Three, Barnes is likely a touchy subject for Romanoff right now, so you might have managed to hit all of her angry triggers all in one go there."

She holds up one hand to stop Skye from jumping in to rant some more. "I'm not excusing her behavior, and I'll probably go straight from here to track her down and have a few words with her next. I just want you to see why she took offense."

Quake has posed:
    Skye counts. She actually counts. It's a slow count to three. And then again before she's calm enough to speak again. "Look, I get it. She and he are friends. But fuck me, do you know me at all? Who here do I like? Who? Who do I fit in with?"
    Skye's lips parse over a tight line. "Got myself to a place where maybe I reached out a bit, and that's the answer I get. Hell, I don't think he's a real asshole. Didn't even pick up on the Daisy thing and give me grief. Just what do I know of him? She didn't even give a pause to consider my position. Didn't give a flying fuck that I.. whatever. Where's the dotted line. I'll sign. Just let me finish this stupid fucking mission and call me out."

Melinda May has posed:
May raises an eyebrow at that. "You're going to let one person flying off the handle inappropriately chase you away. That doesn't sound like you. You're right, she didn't pause to consider your position, and she shouldn't be allowed to get away with that." In fact, May is now considering taking this up with Barton to get Romanoff sorted out. And then she's going to see about booking some training sessions so Skye can get to know more of the field agents around, and they can learn more about her. She's pretty sure that most of them would be exceedingly glad to have Skye's computer expertise available to them if they'd just get their heads out of their asses.

"But if you're sure you want to leave, I'll do what I can to help." Like maybe put her on Stark's radar. He'd probably be willing to scoop talent as good as hers.

Quake has posed:
    There's a noise of extreme derision from Skye. "Oh, right. Because SHIELD is going to let me walk. Riiight." The word is drawled long and hard. "Screw that."
    She turns away from May and glares out over the distance. "Doesn't even matter. Fuck her. Fuck them all. Like I give a shit about any of this."

Melinda May has posed:
May lets Skye turn away. "Fury will let you walk if that's what needs to happen. If I know him, he'd rather you be an external resource that will be willing to continue working with us than a proverbial prisoner inside the system."

She's quiet for a few moments before she adds, "If you truly didn't care, you wouldn't be this mad about it."

Quake has posed:
    The woman stiffens at the wall, her back a subtlety of erect, all without turning to May. Silent for a long moment that is filled with a quietly hissed, "Fuck you."

Melinda May has posed:
And that, for May, is further proof that Skye really does care about this place and the people in it. And no, she's not mad at the kid for getting her hackles up further over the conversation.

She's about to say something else when the commlink in her ear comes to life and she turns aside to reply quietly. "I'm being called to debrief. Come find me when you're ready to talk."

Quake has posed:
    There's no reply from Skye. Not given the finality of the 'called to a breif'. Though she waits for the other to leave before turning her back to the wall and sinking down, arms wrapped about her knees, forehead dropped and resting on her knees. It's not like the roof is refuge to many, and really, at this point, she doesn't care anymore. She can't figure out why any of this upsets her. She's usually an even keel. Even when she's cussing and spouting nonsense, it means nothing.
    Just like what she'd said to Nat. It hadn't meant a thing. Clint was an asshole. Clint wasn't an asshole. What did Skye know? She barely had met the man. All she knew is he had something of a sense of humour, wasn't inclined to poke fun at her name, and didn't rise easily to the bait of being called out.
    Not that Agent Romanoff cared. She didn't speak Skye. Hadn't bothered to listen to why Bucky ranked higher in her books. There really wasn't a qualitative difference to the young woman beyond when the shit hit the fan, Bucky was one of the ones Skye had navigated through the fire. She had a connection - even if he didn't see one. All she knew of Clint Barton was a few passed words over the making and eating of a meal. Natasha was supposed to be the senior agent. She was the one who should have had a better grip on her temper. It shouldn't have been Skye's job to censor the conversation.
    And yet? None of that made any difference to what had happened. All that really mattered in the end was: Did Skye intend on leaving or not. And when the chips were down, as much at the words 'fuck me' hovered on her lips and in her mind... Skye knew she'd been hooked.
    Hook, line and sinker, SHIELD owned her.
    She didn't know how much time had passed before she had calmed down enough to let that sink in. Sink in past her acceptance that this mission in front of her meant the end of DarkSkye being a figment in the ether, and Skye Johnson an Agent of SHIELD... And even that she knew was part of this. Part of the anger. The anxiety... She'd never had connections before. Or a family. And to admit any of that to herself was terrifying.
    And why Nat's anger had cut so deeply. Skye had reached out and been shot down for it. It had only seemed to justify her past in its entirety.
    But that Skye Johnson was no more. Or so she had to accept was no more if she was going to go through with this. And the thought of letting this mission go, without her help, without her expertise..
    In the face of that, eventually her anger fled, and Skye was ready to find Agent May and figure this mess out. Or something like.
    With reluctance, Skye left her solitude on the roof and sought her senior agent out.

Melinda May has posed:
It's almost like May was anticipating Skye seeking her out. She's very easily found, the breakroom with the cooking facilities being one of the logical places to look at first. And there she is, slowly stirring something in a saucepan while two clean and empty coffee mugs wait on the counter nearby. And based on the aroma, the saucepan has something chocolatey in it.

Quake has posed:
    Skye hovers at the doorway. She knows this is up to her at this point, not May. Any further discussion begins with Skye speaking; opening up; moving things forward. Not May.
    She scowls a moment, until she manages to school her features into a semblance of something less irritated. Less angry. Less hurt.
    "If you have a minute," Skye says finally, moving into the breakroom proper, "I'd like to talk."

Melinda May has posed:
And she is absolutely correct, it IS up to her to speak up. And when she does so, May turns off the stove and with the skill of practice, pours hot cocoa into the two mugs from the saucepan. "I have several minutes." She sets one mug on the counter closer to Skye, then takes a moment to fill the saucepan with water and leave it in the sink for later.

Quake has posed:
    Skye nods, moving to consider the mug before taking it up with a nod of thanks.
    "I don't understand why upset her so much." The young woman's shoulders rise and fall. "It didn't mean anything. At least I didn't think so. I don't even know what I said wrong. We were working together, and then suddenly she was all clipped words and angry tones."
    Skye sighs, picking up the mug and holding it two-handed, peering at the murky chocolately goodness within. "How was I supposed to know he was her friend? I don't not like him. I just don't know him. I don't know anyone here."

Melinda May has posed:
May takes up her own mug and moves toward a nearby table. "You had no way to know. Just like you had no way to know that Barnes' stint as the Winter Soldier is likely another reason why Romanoff reacted the way she did. She was completely wrong to do so, by the way, and I fully intend to talk with her about it." Unless Skye would rather do so. That would actually be better, most likely.

"And about you not knowing anyone, that needs to change. I'm going to start scheduling training scenarios for you to work with as many field agents as possible -- not all at once -- so you can get to know each of them and work out how your skills and theirs will best complement each other." It's something that ALL agents have to do, and has been neglected on Skye's part because she's been thrown straight into fixing the Triskelion's computer problems.

Quake has posed:
    It's not a scowl that greets that news, but something akin. More.. well more a resigned almost sadness. Like suddenly realizing that you're the little match girl looking in on the family Christmas scene in the room beyond the window. Everyone is happy and gets along and you just don't fit in. Only.. there's nothing of her background that would prepare her for this occassion. That it was her own fault or not a mere technicality in the reality of Agent Daisy Johnson was adrift in the sea that was SHIELD without a life preserver, and no knowledge of how to swin.
    Only, for the first time in her life, she wanted to swim. Very desperately wanted to swim.
    She just didn't have the tools or the language to make it clear.
    "I didn't know," Skye says quietly. "I don't even know too much about Barnes, either. Just.. he didn't snitch on me when he could have about an incident. He never told anyone. And then there was the invasion. What do I know of everyone else? Barton was part of a training exercise where I never got to see or meet him. We had a meal. He's just some guy. Some stupid guy I made a stupid comment about. What does she know? How does she know that Captain was part of all.. He's part of why all this stupid place matters to me. How the hell do I explain something like that to her? She didn't even listen."
    Skye's shoulders square and she shrugs. "Who cares. It's a stupid mission. Don't need to talk to one another. Just need her to do her job. She fucks up, I'll have her ass one way or another. But she doesn't have to like me. Or give a shit."

Melinda May has posed:
"That's why Romanoff was wrong to snap at you. She can't know your history -- or lack of history -- with either man." And considering that Nat isn't the sort to apologize even after she acknowledges that she was in the wrong... May shakes her head slightly.

"Johnson, you need to stop with the prickly negativity. It won't help anyone here, especially you. Now drink your chocolate before it goes cold." And to demonstrate, she takes a sip from her own mug.

Quake has posed:
    Skye's nose is a crinkle of irritation, but she does sip her chocolate, enjoying it enough that there's a surprised relaxation of that crinkle, and her features soften to an actual consideration of things. Though it's still an unhappy retort that May gets.
    "What, I'm supposed to smile and pretend all of this is okay with me?"
    The young woman sighs, and takes another sip before continuing. "Look, I don't expect you to understand. But you let people in, you get hurt. All I have is arm's length. It's really easy for you to say stop the negativity, but you tell me, what do I have left? You want me to say it hurt? Okay, it hurt. I thought I was trying."
    Her gaze falls to her mug of hot chocolate. "You know what's the real kicker about all of this? I actually started to care about this all. The people here. The whole schtick. The rhetoric. Even the stupid people I don't know. Was thinking maybe I'd just say, call me Skye. Like Daisy was this other person I'd created so people didn't see me."

Melinda May has posed:
"No, I don't expect you to smile and take that kind of abuse. I expect you to calm down, think rationally, then go talk to Romanoff and tell her why her reaction was both unwarranted and inappropriate. Even if she only ever talks to you again in a professional setting, that can't be allowed to lie."

She sets her mug down and looks at Skye squarely. "The longer Romanoff goes without you confronting her on this, the longer she has to believe that the crap she said was actually true. And we both know she was completely wrong."

Quake has posed:
    Skye frowns over her mug, "Just what do you think I'm supposed to tell her? And it's not like I didn't try." She had. Somewhat. Though, in anger. "And no fair playing the rational card. Just because I'm a computer geek doesn't mean I don't feel things. You know?"
    A sip of hot chocolate is taken, and then a larger, more appreciative sip. "I don't even know if I care that she was wrong. I thought I was fitting in, you know? We were talking and everything. It was like maybe I had a place. I wasn't just this afterthought here. You have no idea what it's like, do you? You're here because you wanted to be. Because you earned your place. I'm just the person they were going to arrest and gave a different choice to. That's what she sees. And really, what do I have to say? I don't know either of them well? That I'm sure he's a nice person? That dinner was fun and he didn't pick on me? That I think you're an asshole too? That I tend to call anyone who might be getting close to me an asshole? Just what the hell is that anyway?"

Melinda May has posed:
May considers Skye's words. How can she tell this prickly kid that she's got more in common with just about everyone in SHIELD than she realizes, but is just too hurt right now to realize it? It probably will be for the best if she talks with Nat first.

"Exactly what you just said would be a good place to start. But for now, finish your chocolate."

Quake has posed:
    Skye nods, murmuring over her hot chocolate, "If that's not a direct order, Ma'am, I'll think about it. I can't promise more than that." The rich, chocolately liquid is sipped, Skye managing near a goodly half of her mug before speaking again, "After all this is done? I want to be called Skye. Daisy's just a person I was. Just thought you should know."
    Everything drifts to silence with that, just two agenst sipping hot chocolate, as though nothing in the world mattered or was pressing upon them.