5571/Mostly Platonic

Mostly Platonic
Date of Scene:	16 October 2018
Location:	Unknown
Synopsis:	A 'signal' on a roof attracts some odd conversation.
Cast of Characters:	Deadpool, Catwoman, Spider-Man

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Deadpool has posed:
    There's a signal in the sky! It's actually really nicely lit up, what with all the local pollution here. It's not quite a bat signal. It's more like a big mushy blob with a halo of light. It MIGHT be a spider. It really needs a sizable subtitle to help with what it is, like 'Obvious Spider Signal light the sky'. The art department should be fired.

    The art department is currently sitting on the side of a raised roof edge, swinging his feet, and picking through something on his phone, which lights up the front of his red and black mercenary costume. Some wrappers from tacos are nearby in a crumpled white and cornflower-yellow colored heap. To his left is a large spotlight (okay, not that large), with something wet and dripping stuck to the center of it, slowly bubbling from the heat of the spotlight. It's probably not a spider or a bat.

Catwoman has posed:
Catwoman is 'slinging' through the city but it's more like what Batman does than Spider-Man. She's running across buildings as much as she is swinging between them, her destination being the source of whatever this signal is, "Flashy.. hideous though.." She says to no one really as she lands on another building's roof. She's close now but has yet to determine WHAT the signal is.

Spider-Man has posed:
The signal, whatever it was meant to be, does draw the attention of a certain wallcrawler, not that he has any idea it was meant for him. Landing on the rooftop, pen and paper in hand, he asks, "could it be true, is this really the call sign for the Amazing Spud-Man? Or is that sign for the Astonishing Cockroach? Maybe it's," and he tried to deepen his voice, "Trojan Man?" Of course, he did notice Wade, how could he not, "Wade, we've talked about this. You're not to go around electricity without adult supervision." He was wagging his finger as a parent would to a child, and upon seeing the leggy woman, whom he for a moment mistook as Black Cat, he said, "love the new outfit. How're things Cat?"

Deadpool has posed:
    "Holy shit, I'd have needed a LOT of cockroaches in a BIG pile to make any shape work on this giant light. I'd have to be a lot more dedicated than I truly am. I appreciate your opinion that I'm so tenacious about my cockroach collecting. But. It was this or macramé," Deadpool chatters, just as if everything was normal. Maybe it is. It's the 'usual', if not normal.

    "You know, Amazing Cockroach wouldn't be a bad name for ME," Deadpool continues (of course), upbeat. He's in a good mood. He just got a streak in his game. It chimes cheerfully with happy glittery noises. "For a whole mess of reasons I know YOU know, because we share the same mind-space of thinking of zinger one-liners, almost-twin." Deadpool paused in swinging his feet, but starts it back up again. Until he takes in Catwoman more completely as she lands and immediately gets up - to walk to Spider-Man. And leans in conspiratorialy. "She's hot. I'll be your wing man. Nooooo problem. We got this." A thumbs up is added. Totally got this. Best backup ever.

Catwoman has posed:
Catwoman blinks at the two, "Your signal? And I've never met either of you but yes you can call me Cat, that works." To Deadpool she says, "You can't handle me if you need a wingman, which you probably do from the look of you. Word of advice, Gotham women are out of your league."

She looks at the signal again, "Someone's definitely trying to copy Comissioner Gordon's Batsignal though."

Deadpool has posed:
    "I stage whisper too loud. She heard me," Wade stage whispers overly loudly to Spider-Man.

Spider-Man has posed:
"Wade," Spider-Man says with a mixture of emotions. He pauses. There aren't many people who can derail his train of thought, to make him sigh, go quiet, but Wade is one. Spider-Man is patient; in a way, he even enjoys bantering with Wade, but sometimes, oh sometimes, there's just so much that he wants to say, and so little time to say it. And it's not like any of it would even work on Wade. He's called the Merc with the Mouth for a reason.

At least Catwoman's not an ex. That would have complicated what he was about to say so much more. "I happen to have a girlfriend. And no, before you say it, she's not from Canada. She's actually from Europe." Oh, he could hear the jokes in his head already. More for Catwoman's sake, "now, if you ever want a webman," his version of a wingman, "I'm yours. But please, don't subject this poor lady to your particular brand of affection."

Holding up a gloved hand, he whispers to Catwoman, but loud enough that Wade can hear, "run, now, and don't look back. It's your only hope. Gotham huh?" He was making a mental note not to make jokes about New Jersey. He didn't want to offend their guest. Besides, she made it out of Jersey. It was only polite not to remind her of where she came from. As she hadn't met either of them, he adds in, "so I'm Spider-Man, and my heterosexual life partner is Wade, but he sometimes goes by Deadpool."

Catwoman has posed:
Catwoman is amused but doesn't show it in an obvious way, "Look I am sure you two have a wonderful sex life but it's none of my business what two men do behind closed doors." Maybe she doesn't believe Spider-Man's claim to have a girlfriend? Either way she's clearly more focused on the signal, "You don't seem worried about that signal. Where I come from it means something fun is happening."

Deadpool has posed:
    "I was saying I'd be YOUR wingman, and - fuck man, it's no fun when you have to explain it. I feel like nobody listens to me," Deadpool vents, suddenly dropping to his knees on the rooftop in an extremely overdramatic display of being distraught. Both hands lift to clutch at the sky, fingers curved and clenched. One still has his game on it, though, and it makes a noise. The merc diverts to it suddenly, still on his knees, and pokes at it with opposite finger. "Boop, boop," says both the game and Deadpool verbally, in chorus.

    "But I don't listen to me either, so we're all on the same page. Also, this is cement. Don't do what I just did." His knees hurt. "I mean, unless it's worth it. Sometimes you gotta be on your knees," Deadpool says, turning a little to address this to Spider-Man. Due to the kneeling, it's roughly to the vicinity of the middle of Spider-Man's body. AKA the groin.

    "It's my signal. In that I made it to signal others. But it's not my symbol. I could see how that could be confusing. Something fun IS happening!" Deadpool chimes from the floor. "It's /Taco Tuesday/. And I was bored."

Spider-Man has posed:
"She thinks we're gay?" Spider-Man states aloud in an incredulous tone as Deadpool kneels in front of his er, groin area, and whines that Spider-Man never goes down, "not that there's anything wrong with that," he adds, quoting an old episode of Seinfeld. Good save there, Parker, he thought to himself. Looking down at Wade, he says, "you're not helping."

And then he takes a few steps forward, towards Catwoman, and away from Wade, and then hops onto a spinning rooftop vent, which makes him spin. His hands are between his legs, which are wide apart, with his knees wide. It looks incredibly uncomfortable for a man, and yet he doesn't seem to mind. As he spins around on it, "we're not big on signals on this side of the river, except Johnny. He loves to do that flaming four..." he paused, "okay, I totally see what you mean Cat. So, do I have to register, get a membership card, or what?"

Catwoman has posed:
Catwoman shrugs at Spider-Man's attempt to clarify his relationship with Deadpool, "Hey.. not judging. And like I said it's not my business." She looks back at the signal, "Sooo.. Wade is it? You're saying that signal is -your- signal? And you just turn it on when you're bored? You'd do well in Gotham. In fact it'd be kind of.. funny. Especially if both the Bat signal and yours got turned on at the same time. But silly me, practical jokes are for.. well you'll probably figure that out if you visit."

"And membership card? Do I look like I care about formalities? Honestly I know why I don't come to this city very often. In Gotham paperwork is tends to end up in the trash, official or not, because no one there likes to leave paper trails."

Deadpool has posed:
    "I feel like that should be elevated to one of my new catch phrases with how often it's said to me. 'You're not helping'," Wade parrots, still kneeling, despite that Spidey moved away. "Then again, I rarely put maximum effort into helping. Until I do. HEY. Also, you're not gay? I can think of ... Okay, just ONE thing wrong with that, but we'll go with what you said. And obviously platonic cuddles."

    There's a pause where Deadpool doesn't move. "I'm winking. I also realize you can't see that I'm winking."

    Deadpool 'walks' on his knees in a jaunty and painful-looking fashion over to where Spider-Man ended up but doesn't join him (yet), just lingers nearby. "That looks uncomfortable," he says aloud. "Speaking of uncomfortable, do you remember Sabretooth?" Deadpool asks, distracted again by the game on his phone. He can't focus. "Fuck your blue gems, whore," he growls semi-quietly at the poor Disney character on his screen. "Not you. Unless you have blue gems that are taking up space where they aren't wanted." That's sort of thrown towards Catwoman, but in a cheery way, non-aggressive. Despite the arsenal of swords and guns and ammunition all over the mercenary. "Bring dead 'possum to Gotham signal. Tease Batman on Taco Tuesday. Got it." Thumbs up for Catwoman's idea.

Spider-Man has posed:
"Yeah, but doesn't a catchphrase have to be something that you yourself say, not what is said about you. Like Bart Simpsons's 'I didn't do it', Stan Marsh's 'Oh my god, they killed Kenny!', the Roadrunners 'Beep Beep', and my personal favourite, the Brain's 'the same thing we do every night Pinky - try to take over the world.'"

"I know your mask can't wink, it is proprietary spider technology that you haven't stolen from me... yet" And Spider-Man winked. His mask could. And to Catwoman, he mouthed, though that wasn't nearly as clear as the winking, but he mouthed 'I'm sorry' to her. And mostly for fun, he says, "so Wade, Gotham sounds like a nice new play area. Think about it, you could have duelling sky signals, no paperwork to deal with, attractive women who won't put up with you, you like a challenge, right?"

He did actually patrol Gotham, though not nearly as often as Manhattan, and he kind of wanted to get rid of Deadpool if he could. Of course, he knew he couldn't. Wade goes where he wants, when he wants, and if you try and get rid of him, he's more likely to stick around.

Deadpool has posed:
    "You can probably also breathe through your mask, too, can't you," Wade complains at Spider-Man, staring far too long at the mask. Look out, Spidey, there's way too much focus on the mask. And some fiddling of fingers against his thigh as if itchy to go make a grab for it. "Also, with the amount I talk to myself, I can tell myself my phrase. Don't contain me in your rules of catch-phrase!" Deadpool says dramatically. And hops to his feet suddenly, a manner that Spider-Man may well know could preclude a sudden swing into being extremely dangerous.

    "Except for sky signals that's like my Wednesday," Wade admits, though, distracted perhaps out of his sudden homicidal tendency. He puts his phone away, with a flash of the beautiful hello kitty case. "I like things that are easy. And challenges. I -- It varies." Oh! "I'm in a tourney right now. I'm winning for my kids. So far it's fun. Why aren't you in it, Spidey?" This comment clearly makes loads of sense, since Wade has no children.

Spider-Man has posed:
"You can't breathe through your mask? That explains a lot," oxygen deprivation being quite the complication. Spider-Man did an abrupt jump to the left, landing on the rooftop ledge that Wade had occupied earlier. He had gotten a brief tingling of his spider-sense, maybe due to Wade ogling his mask, but he wasn't sure. Still, best to just make a move in case that was the case. The tingling seemed to subside afterwards. It was always tough being around Wade. In a way, he was precognitiant, but Wade didn't really know what he was going to do, so it just created this weird endless feedback loop. And then Wade said something that threw Spider-Man completely off, "you... have kids?" Hello social services, I'd like to make an emergency call. "Uh... because I wasn't invited, and I don't do this for adulation, or respect, though it'd be nice if I got some of that, for a change of pace. I do it because it's the right thing to do. So, what tournament are you winning, Mr. Sheen?" Implying that Deadpool was like Charlie Sheen. Now that's an old reference.

Deadpool has posed:
    "Charlie Sheen references now? I have at LEAST two and a half men in my head, so that's actually not a bad one," Deadpool compliments Spider-Man, tilting his head and golf-clapping quietly. "I do it for adulation and respect, and money. I'm donating it to my kids." He pauses. "They're cancer kids. I'm teaching them hope and shit. Eight of them. They have names," Deadpool says, as if saying they had names proved he remembers all of their names. "I'm donating my winnings and everything. Heroically. I don't remember what the tournament is called. Uhhhh." He fishes out his mobile device again, puts in the passcode. 0-0-0-0. "Just like Kanye."

    "Umm. I don't see a title. Too hush-hush I guess. Private world masters of martial arts and related bullshittery. They don't even allow guns," Deadpool observes, while (probably) looking in his mailbox. A closer peek will reveal he's going through photos: Selfies of himself with other contestants (mostly against their will), and himself with some signage. Himself with an unconscious contender. And so on.

    "Well, you should come. My cheerleaders are tired cancer children, and might not last the whole tourney. I'm in the finals and all, so they're exhausted from cheering. I encourage them, though, 'don't let the cancer get you down, you can still form that pyramid'."

Catwoman has posed:
Catwoman watches the two bicker back and forth in silence for a moment, "Well please do come to Gotham and bother Batman. The city could use a shakeup right now, it's so status quo right now. And you two look like you could use a honeymoon anyhow. Already at 'married and bickering' in your relationship huh? Must be meant to be.."

Spider-Man has posed:
"... please tell me you didn't hire a bunch of actors so you could play Jean-Claude Van Damme in Bloodsport. So, where is this, Madison Square Garden, some place on Long Island, out in Jersey, or...?"

Blinking at Catwoman, who had just seemed to wake up, "seriously, he's harmless, mostly, I do have a girlfriend, and I'm married to my work too. Besides, you'd look better in the cheerleader outfit than me. You work with Batman? Bring him along. From what I've heard, he could use a good laugh, and Deadpool's always good for that." Yeah, he was really hoping she'd take the merc with the mouth off his hands.

Deadpool has posed:
    "Europe holiday. Islands. No skyscrapers, and lots of suntanning. For people that suntan that aren't me," Deadpool replies about the location. "Want to go? I'd love to put you in a cheerleader ensemble. Skirt optional. Not really honeymoon though. I'm still at the point prior in the relationship to that where it's just sex all the time. I require a ring, too. I feel like I've said this before. Déjà vu."

    "I'm /harmless/?" Look out, Spider senses are probably going to explode. Although all Deadpool does is stalk towards Spider-Man and offer his hand forcefully out. "I don't insult you to your face, do I? Just behind your back. Or from next to you. Look how nice I'm being, for fuck sake."

    "I should do some murder for that. But so nice. So. /Take my hand if you want to live/," Deadpool says, ending in a sudden Arnold quote. "I won't grope you. Right now, at least."

Catwoman has posed:
Catwoman pats her whip, "I like to keep people at a distance but you're free to go yourself. It's not that I want to be with you.. it's just that you being in my city will have convenient effects. And honestly I don't.. work with Batman. There's a word for our platonic relationship but I don't know what it is. He's also very taken.. his boyfriend is a clown."

Spider-Man has posed:
Spider-Man has no clue what Deadpool's talking about, but there's got to be a punch line. And he waits for it, for some semblance of logic to appear. Even a broken clock is right twice a day. And then, with the hand extended in peace, Spider-Man's spider-sense goes off with a bang. He immediately does a back flip, landing in a defensive crouching position, looking over at Deadpool, his webshooters at the ready. As 'harmless' as Deadpool often seemed, he was still a mercenary, and certifiably insane.

With the tingling subsiding, Spider-Man decided to make a break for it while he could. "Cat, been a pleasure. Wade, it's your lucky day. You can talk about about me behind my back all you like." And he did another somersault, this time over the edge of the building, and fired off a webline with that notable thwip sound, as he headed on his way back towards Manhattan.

Deadpool has posed:
        Deadpool is left there with an outstretched hand. He stays still a little while as Spiderman rushes off, and then draws the hand back in to pass it back over and through his nonexistent 'hair' along the side of his hood, in an overly obvious gesture of reacting to being so snubbed. Clearly it's fine!

    He then suddenly pulls a gun and is up on the roof edge abruptly, angling on Spider-Man for a good shot. "If you shoot him in the spine he won't be any good as a cheerleader," Deadpool tells himself. "And he won't eat the tacos that ... fuck. I forgot to mention the tacos." Deadpool looks over his shoulder at Catwoman. The pout is clear. He hops off the roof ledge. "Want some tacos?"