5888/Changeling: It's December Somewhere, Right

Changeling: It's December Somewhere, Right
Date of Scene:	01 December 2018
Location:	Unknown
Synopsis:	Skye entertains all the company in the rec-room, and discovers that the Holidays are, indeed, back upon them all. With, as usual, perfectly awful timing. Presents are planned, and plotted, and Skye and Clint as still in the dark as to where Fury is sending them.
Cast of Characters:	Quake, Darcy Lewis, Hawkeye (Barton), Melinda May
Tinyplot:	Changeling

---

Quake has posed:
Skye was fairly humming with nerves on the eve of packing up and heading out to the wilds of BC to do some serious training. Read: to get her powers under control. And for those of you who think fairly humming is an overstatement, read again. Girl's powers seem to be hinged on vibrations. She's.. trying not to let things get to her.

Add to the fact that it's coming up on holiday season (not Skye's favourite time of year by even a long stretch) and she's looking for a way to distract herself. Which, given Skye, usually means on her computer somewhere, coding or playing games. Or, as it happens, archery down on the archery range.

Tonight, it's laptop in the recreation lounge for 100, Alex. It's just Skye, her laptop, a cup of lousy vending machine coffee that was ice cold an hour agao, and about 6 candybar wrappings in various state of crumple sitting about her.

At least for the moment it's just Skye...

Darcy Lewis has posed:
Just Skye, until it isn't.

In a scene out of their first meeting, Darcy sweeps in, clearing the wrappers away and trading the cold coffee out for a fresh steaming cup. The admin hasn't forgotten how Skye takes her cup of addiction.

"Do I need to threaten to dump the old coffee on the keyboard, or have you actually eaten some today, Shitcode?" quips the once waitress, grinnng as she stands there, head on a tilt, trash in her hands.

Quake has posed:
Skye, to her credit, hasn't zombified - she's actually recreating, not working, as it happens, so when Darcy swoops in, while it still takes her a few to come back from the zone, it isn't the dead eyed stare of a coder long gone into strings of numbers and alphanumeric symbols, but the confused blinking of someone who suddenly realizes her attention is being demanded.

And of course it's Darcy. Most everyone else still treats Skye with laptop as in workmode and leave her a wide berth - even if they don't think she's the IT girl anymore. Something something about being a worldwide criminal at one point really changed a lot of people's perceptions about the hacker, and brought her presence into SHIELD's spotlight so to speak.

"Hey, Darce. And gods, no. No need to threat -- hey, is that fresh coffee? Oh god, you do love me. Have my babies?"

She grins impishly, knowing the odds of that offer being taken are nil to sub-zero.

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"Does that mean I'm sleeping with you or Clint or both? Or is this just a surgate thing? Because the making process is really the fun part," Darcy retorts with the bright iflections of ..omg is she being serious?!

She isn't. She's on contraceptives, but since Skye ask about that just yet, the best way to remind Skye that yes, Darcy loves her, is to fuck with her brain and then laugh with Skye gets flusters.

Quake has posed:
"Uh.. pretty sure you need a boy for at least half this equation. But if you're sleeping with Clint, I wanna be there. Especially for the part where you tell him this is how it's going down."

She just shakes her head, even as she's hoping Darcy really is just joking. Because otherwise.. No. She has to be joking. There is no way.. right?

"But I get to be the one who tells Fury."

Because you could sell tickets for that one.

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"Sounds good. I'll send him a text and ask him to pop by. We can play it that manage-a-trois for whenever. You telling Fury thta I'm having your baby by Barton is perfect. I want you to hack the security feeds so I can watch from the safety of Siberia," Darcy says, with that pleasantly perky and happy tone of a waitress being just so pleased and happy to be so accomodating. Turning on a grin, she heads to the trash area to throw away the candy wrappers and the stale coffee. WHen hands are free, Darcy pulls out her phone to play on Facebook, but it really does look like she's texting someone.

Quake has posed:
Skye laughs, reaching for the coffee cup that she's really hoping is hers and not Darcy's because she's going to drink it anyway.

"Think Fury would believe it? I mean, I've pulled some crazy stunts, but that one?" The cup is held one handed until she hits a few keys on the laptop, and *gasp* actually shuts the lid. Heavens forfend! Has the apocalypse come? Skye.. closing her laptop and hanging out with folks? Voluntarily? Never!

"He's not going buy it you know. Clint I mean. I don't even think I could keep a straight enough face to try and sell that to him. And wait - he never did that dance for me. Totally need to call him on that. I won fair and square. Just because he's sleeping with me is no reason to welch on that bet."

Darcy Lewis has posed:
Status update complete (COFFEE! -coffee emoji-), Darcy makes herself a cup of coffee and returns to the table.

"WHo's selling anything? You've asked, and I have answered," Darcy says with a sagenod. She sips her coffee before clicking her tongue.

"Well, I'll have to remedy that too, I guess. A dance and a baby, just for you. Fuck. Stork's got nothing on me!"

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
Skye wasn't the only one nervous about the trip. There were just so many questions. Would the time away work? What happens if it doesn't? Still, Clint tries to focus on the positive and had finished packing a few things to make the time easier.

That packing done, he goes looking for Skye, walking in just the right moment. "What's this about a baby?" he asks breezing through the door. "Don't tell me you and James are expecting..." Of course it could be Skye but he doesn't want to put that to words.

Quake has posed:
Skye holds her free hand up (she is not letting go of that coffee for anyone). "I have nothing to do with this," she lies. Even managing to look like she is telling the truth while she does it, too.

"And I have a bone to pick with you Hotpants."

Darcy gets a look. "Bone, Darcy. Not boner."

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"Of course, sweetheart," Darcy replies to Skye, sitting back and sipping her own coffee. Mischevious green eyes flit to Clint, and a smirk curls one corner of her mouth.

"She want a bone from you. I'll be taking the boner. Skye wants a kid and has asked me to have it for her. So, since she lacks the necessary equipment, you're on deck." Just like that. Simply stated, as if it were a flat fact. And Darcy sips her coffee again.

"I hope you don't mind pulling hair," she adds.

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
"Uh-huh," Clint says throughly unconvinced of Skye not being involved in this.

"And what'd I do?" asks about having a bone to pick with him.

He makes his way towards the coffee machine but stops midway.

"Wait what?" he asks. Then looks between the two women. "It's a good thing I know you're messing with me, otherwise, I'd be half way to a quinjet by now."

Hey he'd been around these two long enough he could make an educated guess.... That said it was Darcy so there's always a little bit of doubt.

Quake has posed:
"Ooooo," Skye makes a face at Clint and gives a low noise of dissent. "Nice to know you'd run if that were the case. Not even a we need to talk, Skye, or hey, this wasn't on the agenda? Dude, that's not cool. And a quinjet? Wow."

Of course she's smirking a hint as she says it, so he might not be quite in as much trouble as he could otherwise be. That, and they'd come a long way since their initial misunderstandings and the hurt those had caused.

"And," Skye points out, waving her coffee (courtesy of Darcy, not that Skye knew where the cold one had gotten to), "You owe me a lap dance. I totally owned you that day and you never paid up."

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"Should I be disturbed that both of you think I'm joking?" Darcy asks, her own lips pulling into a smile of her own. She sips again, eyes flicking to Skye before settling back on Clint.

"Hmm... She's not wrong there. You do owe her, Hotpants."

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
"Hey you know what sort of role models for parenting I had, I was getting to safety for all of us," Clint explains with a grin as he heads to the coffee machine to pour himself a cup finally.

Things were much easier now than they had been a year ago, they'd walked clear of the minefield into greener pastures.

Coffee in hand, Clint turns, leaning against the counter. "Sorry? What lapdance?" Clint asks with feined innocence ruined by the smirk threatening at the corners of his lips.

Quake has posed:
"Of course I know," Skye scolds Clint gently. "And we had this discussion already. But sheesh. A whole quinjet? Accidents happen." Darcy, however, gets a full on look. "You really better be kidding. We are not the stuff of parents. Have you met me? Can't remember to eat when she's working? Has a whole team devoted to making sure she /does/ eat when she's on a job?"

Okay, that last bit, a lot less these days, but her first days in SHIELD as a (semi) working agent, it had been true. She'd grown up a lot since then.

Darcy Lewis has posed:
Darcy grins at Skye. It's the mercurial cheshire grin of a woman with secrets. She sips her coffee.

"The world may never know. Be back by Christmas? Or am I breaking into your apartment and putting your gifts under the tree for when you return?" Subject gears shifted hella fast. Better keep up if you're going to sort out of she's really joking or not.

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
Clint nods, "Well, if I thought it was real for a second I would have stayed and talked. Since, I hope this is all still a joke, I figure the quinjet worked."

He sips his coffee.

"And you've met me too right? I remember to eat, but, not exactly the sort of stable homebody type. Plus, everywhere I live is full of sharp pointy things by default."

As to when they'd be back. "Not sure," Clint answers honestly. "There really wasn't a set return time," he looks to Skye. "Could sneak back for Christmas with the family here at SHIELD. Or invite Darcy up to Starling, it was nice up there at Christmas last year."

Quake has posed:
Skye lifts her chin to Clint, "Bah. I've seen you. You are sooooo the homebody type. You just think you aren't."

And it was kind of true. Of the two of them, Clint was definitely the more domesticated of the pair.

"Hey, speaking of pointy, did we cancel the maid service?" Why those two things are related, or how she's only just now thought of the second one is up for debate. Turning to Darcy then, "Huh? Back by Christmas? Uh.."

She looks over at Clint. Last year's Christmas had been a fiasco - and ironically, had been spent up in BC as well, at least until they'd been called back by what had turned out to be the mission that turned into Rising Tide. It had been, she suddenly realized a very long year, and she'd come a monumental way since then. "We didn't really talk about how we were celebrating." Darcy gets an apologetic look. "I've.. that is, it's not like I've really celebrated it. I can't remember when I was a kittle kid, and the orphanage was.. you know?" She shrugs. "I kind of forgot it was coming up, actually."

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"Oh. Well, okay then. I suppose it's a good thing I didn't have plans to go off my birth control," is retorted, coffee sipped again. She falls silent then, letting the two banter about who's the most domesticated animal in their zoo. It's adorable, really.

"Don't worry about it, Skye. I just wanted to know if you wanted to have gifts on the day of or not. I've got too many cross religious derby girls to worry about when or how or why other than, wee gifts, ya know?"

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
Clint scoffs, blowing steam off his coffee. "I am not." Then there's a pause, a moment of inward reflection that said, 'am I?'.

He doesn't put voice to that. "Wait, what? What does the maid service have to do with my arrows, they're not touching them again are they?" he asks actually sounding concerfned. "And no, haven't cancelled. Might give them a break while we're away, every two-weeks or whatever."

As for Christmas, Clint nods, "Guess, it's all being figured out," he says to Darcy. "But thanks for thinking of us."

Quake has posed:
Skye nodsd at Clint. "You totally are. C'mon. Think about us, and living together. You are so the girl in this relationship." Which wasn't exactly true, but if you had to put traditional roles upon the pair, Clint was most definitely the one who cooked, cleaned, and worried about things like the bills. Skye? Well, she tried. Cooking classes had most definitely helped.

Darcy she gives a quick, reassuring grin to. "No, no. It's okay. We jsut didn't talk about it. Last year we tried to have a holiday and it got blown up." Literally. "Uh.. I suppose we could come back and have a Christmas gathering?"

That was, she recalled belatedly, what they'd planned on doing in their home in Greenich - opening their doors to their friends, and hosting that ragtag bunch for the holidays, making it an even for their chosen family, given they didn't have any reall blood family to speak of - any of them, really.

"Uh.. that okay with you, Hotshot?"

Darcy Lewis has posed:
About to add something, Darcy's phone jingles and the text has her cussing a bit more colorfully than her usual.

"Sorry, kids. Gotta run. Newbie fuck-tarded the supply room, AGAIN. I swear to monkey Jesus, I am shipping his ass to Algirs," she grips, taking her coffee and heading out.

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
Clint cocks his head to the side for a moment thinking. "Yeah, okay I buy it." he says of being the woman in the relationship. At least in the way Skye meant. "Though what does it say about us that /I'm/ the responsible one."

He knew Kate would never believe it.

"And yeah, a small thing at the place would be alright," Clint agrees with a nod and a smile. It was perfect really. "Wonder if they'll let us drag a tree though that teleporter thing from Starling," he chuckles.

When Darcy needs to rein in her troops, Clint salutes, "Give 'em hell, Darcy." he calls after her.

Then he makes his way over to Skye's table grabs a chair, spins it and drops down backwards resting his arms on its back. "Sorry to rush the holiday plans, with everything going on I hadn't thought about it until Darcy spoke up. Been focused on this trip."

Quake has posed:
Skye gives Darcy a disappointed, but knowing look as the other woman leaves the recreation area. When she's gone, she shrugs at Clint. "I have no clue what it means if you're the responsible one. And I can be responsible." She was when it came to work. Just not so much when it came to being domestic. Though that could come from living out of a van for years.

"I totally forgot the holidays too, what with everything." Like her world falling apart in almost all the ways it could. "We could still do something. Have our friends over? Would be nice at the cabin, even, but not sure we can swing that. Maybe get some presents?" She looks thoughtful. "Or, you know. I was thinking, since she brought it up, I should visit my friend Matt. I got so caught up in me, I didn't even send him condolances when his girlfriend died. He must think I'm a shitty person. I should probably try to make up for that."

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
"I meant responsible domestically," Clint corrects with a smile. "Actually it's sort of good to get back to that, after Bobbi, I sort of hit a period of cooking by phone, which is how I got know Ginos," he says, before patting his still firm abs. "Thank goodness my parents gave me good genes if nothing else." A pizza and beer diet would have been murder on his Avengering otherwise.

"Not hard to, it's been a crazy few months," he says of forgetting. "Cabin might be a stretch, but we could find a place out there, or take trip back here. I mean I was joking about running away in a quinjet, but we're totally taking one to the cabin. Figure if we're interupted with another crisis we can get back faster that way."

Then coming back to the rest, "Definitely need to get some presents," he says before Skye brings up Matt. "Damn it, Katie, I should probably drop in and say hi to her too. Wish her merry Christmas, totally forgot last year." Then back to Matt. "And if you tell him even a fraction of what's been going on with you, I think he'll understand."

Quake has posed:
"Well, we don't have to have it parked outside our front door. I don't imagine Fury is going to let us just disappear. I figure the place will be chock full of SHIELD everything and home is only a phonecall away so to speak." But he was right, they could return at any time. The real matter was what were they going to do about the holidays.

"We should do presents," she says after a silence. "We talked about making our own traditions last year, only we didn't get to talk about what those would be. I still want to make our place somewhere our friends feel happy and safe." Which was an odd thing for someone who had grown up without either of those things to not only want to provide, but to actually be able to provide. "What do you think? Postpone our leaving for a day or two and knock off presents and visits?"

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
"But we want to make sure the people in the other cabins know our ride is better than theirs," Clint jokes with a laugh. The whole point was there was only one cabin. "You know like Mr. Collins down the block with the literal purple Porsche he bought for his midlife crisis."

There was a smirk for that, on one hand it was ridiculous and on the other, purple. Jury was still out if he hated it or wanted it.

"Definitely postpone to get presents do holiday visiting," Clint says before moving on holiday traditions. "And I am with you on making our place that, so how about we have people over then? Food, drink, good times, low pressure, what do you think?"

Quake has posed:
Skye laughs at Clint. "We aren't going to a resort. I kind of picture some shack carved into the side of a mountain with ten security codes just to get inside." She means it as a joke, but as she says it, it actually does occur to her to wonder just what sort of hideaway SHIELD has out in the woods that Fury is willing to let her toddle off to it without an obvious security detail in tow. She's fairly certain there /will/ be a security detail in tow somehow.

"Oh god, that Porshe is ugly." It had to be if Clint was dissing it, and the thing was his favourite colour. "We are /not/ getting a purple Porshe. Or a purple anything. Yuck."

Gretel, it should be noted, was a baby-shit green, and horribly run down. Even with the SHIELD mechanics' tender loving care.

"Yeah, I figure he'll understand once I get to tell him a few things. I'd like to get him something nice, though." She switches gears, frowning slightly. "How is your friend doing anyway?"

Melinda May has posed:
Walking near silently into the room with an insulated beverage container, uncharacteristically dressed in businesslike attire instead of casual nondescript clothing or her SHIELD mission getup. Almost as if unaware of anyone else in the area, she chooses an out of the way table and sits, promptly pulling her phone and looking at something on its display.

Working again some more, apparently, as she takes a sip of her beverage and taps some sort of response into her phone's screen.

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
"Are you sure it's not a resort? Maybe this is where Fury goes when he disappears, a private Club Med... you know, in a forrest..." he sighs. "Yeah it's likely the shed thing, but at least we can count on the forrest having state of the art security built in."

"Aww, but I wanted to paint Gretel," he teases about the purple pulling back in anticipation of a well-deserved swat.

"And I get that, not sure what to get the guy who can't see anything though," he says. "Music?" he says truly perplexed by the question. "And hmm? Katie? She's good, I think. I haven't kept up like I should with everything going on."

When May enters, Clint looks up, "Heya boss," he greets his eyes fall to the beverage container. "Whatcha got there?"

Quake has posed:
"Tea, I bet," Skye says dryly, trying hard not to smirk as Clint asks. It's May. There are almost zero odds it's alcohol - at least not out of the office.

Clint may pull back, and miss the swat.. that doesn't come.. but he doesn't miss the kick under the table. "Hey! No picking on Gretel. she's a good van. She still has life in her yet. And I bet Fury has a bunker out there. I don't think he's letting us have that."

But as she thinks about it, it's entirely possible that is /exactly/ what he's doing - sending them to a bunker. After all, she'd nearly taken medbay out, and she /had/ destroyed that Hydra base.

"Do you have any idea where it is, boss?" Because if anyone knew, other than Fury, it would be her.

Melinda May has posed:
"Tea," May confirms for Skye and Clint, still tapping at her phone for a moment longer. "And no, I don't." Do these two /really/ think she'd fess up if she DID know?

Finishing what she's doing, she turns to look at the couple finally and seems to spend a moment making a visual assessment of each of them. If she has any opinion on anything she might have overheard, she doesn't offer it.

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
"You're right," Clint says when May confirms.

"Ow!" the kick lands and he kicks back, why yes, these two are five years old, what of it? "Wasn't saying she /wasn't/ a good van... just that I wanted to paint her purple," he teases shaking his head. "It's the colour of royalty you know."

"He might be though," Clint says. "Protective and durable. But who knows, but it'll be nice, though peace and quiet."

When May says she doesn't know, Clint raises a brow. "You sure?" he needles knowing it's not going to change her answer but doing it anyhow. He asides for Skye in a fake-whisper loud enough for all of them to hear: "What should we get her for Christmas?"

Quake has posed:
"Of course I'm right," Skye says of the tea. "May doesn't do coffee. She wouldn't drink outside the office. Hell, not sure she'd drink outside her home." Or theirs. She'd had a drink at their place once, and only once that Skye could recall.

If she's disappointed that May can't or won't divulge where they're going, she tries not to show it. "Who cares if it's royalty? Wait, is that why you picked it? Some circus royalty gag or something?" Because he'd never really said why it was his favourite colour.

"And I'd rather just a cabin." But let's face it, it wasn't just SHIELD, it was Fury sending Skye off to somewhere protected to relax and learn her powers, and if that couldn't be accomplished, to take her out of the way of harming others. Which was more than a little unsettling to the young woman. She wasn't unaware. She just wanted something more... No. She actually had to stop that thought right there. Her life had never been normal, and if it were, she'd be bored to tears. She was a good Agent specifically because this lifestyle didn't break her. Wouldn't break her. Still.. the idea of a bunker, and just them and a security detail was a bit intimdidating.

"Her, you mean May?" Skye pauses. She had no clue what to get folks for Christmas. China had taken a lot of thought to find the perfect gifts. Skye had totally forgotten there was a whole *holiday* devoted to providing gifts to one another.

Melinda May has posed:
Of COURSE they're five years old, the both of them. May would expect no less. She doesn't so much as bat an eyelash at the kicking and simply takes another sip of her tea. Of course, Clint made that comment about the color of royalty, and that she can't pass up.

"It's also the color asphyxiation."

If she knows anything about where they're being sent, she gives no indication at all. But, it would seem counterproductive to send them anywhere that would prevent Skye from being her computery self when she's not working on mastering her new abilities or would prevent Clint from getting enough archery practice to keep him from perforating the walls out of sheer boredom.

And then they start 'conspiring' about Christmas gifts, and she again just sips at her tea.

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
"Well when you put it that way..." Clint says, the answer was obvious.

As to purple, Clint shakes his head. "Nah, I just like purple, the royal thing is just my go to excuse for it. I get a lot of flack for it," he chuckles before snap-pointing at May. "Like that," he says. when she brings up asphyxiation. "My brother was worse."

"And a cabin would be fine too, but also would be good to know what we're in for," he says with a look to May. Getting nothing he turns back to Skye.

"Yeah, her," Clint says still in fake whisper. "We can talk later. Do need to find some coal though." He waits a beat. "Not for May though, Tony. With a note for him to come find me to trade it for a bottle of scotch he and I can share."

Quake has posed:
"You people are weird," Skye says with a scowl that is both true and fond. Of course a lot of that has to do with the fact that not only are they delving horribly close to that whole being emotional about one another thing, but between that, her transformation, the fact that her crazy dad was /still/ out there, and the holidays coming up (with the attendant awareness of just how much had happened this year), Skye was feeling more than a little unsettled and feeling the need to cover.

"Fake coal," she jumps on that. "We can get the real stuff." Well, Fitzsimmons could. Skye was willing to bet they had some on hand. Fitz, at least. He had all the weird going on. "I hate shopping," she mutters, even if she had enjoyed picking out gifts for folks when they'd been to China. But China had been different. Skye still wasn't sure how to handle the holidays, and Darcy bringing them up had caught her unprepared.

Melinda May has posed:
May could let them know that she's actually been kept OUT of the loop on where the couple is being sent, for obvious reasons, but it's more amusing to watch them try to wheedle the information out of her. Besides, it's not like she hasn't been constantly busy doing other things.

The mention of coal elicits a raised eyebrow but not much more. "Do you really want to give Stark actual coal? You know he would likely build a crucible and use the coal to smelt something." Though, if he used said crucible to make something for these two in return...

Perhaps she should go have a chat with the inventor at some point soon.

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
There is a snort from Clint, "I know I'm weird, Keyboard," he says with a little nudge of her foot with his. It's coupled with a fond smile.

"Hmm, wait, make what exactly? Though good point about the coal he might use it, hmmm," he says thoughtfully before asking. "So, what about you, May? Plans for the holidays?"

Quake has posed:
Skye's look for Clint in return is equally fond. They're ridiculous, really, the two of them.

"I don't know, A lump or two of coal for Tony would be perfect. He'd get to play around with them and do his favourite thing, which is play around with things and make something."

She's not really up on what damage Tony could do with a crucible.

Skye patiently waits for May's answer about the holidays, while also mentally noting that's Tony off the the list (kind of - he probably should have a proper gift?) and a joke for Darcy (who would also require an actual gift, but would get such a kick out of getting coal).