View source for 7516/It's Salty

{{Log Header
|Date of Scene=2019/05/17
|Location=New York City
|Synopsis=A statistician, a biologist, and a mercenary slip and fall in Clarence.
|Cast of Characters=106,4,118
|pretty=yes
}}
{{Poses
|Poses=:'''{{#var:106|Deadpool (106)}} has posed:'''<br>"Aaaaaahhhhhh----ooooooo----" ....<br><br>"..... AHHHHHHhhhhhhhHHHHHHHSTOP," warbles the voice from the thing that is being pulled through the street. The vocal changes with each piece of scenery he impacts. Each sign, each curb, and car....<br><br>The creature, a huge oozing mass of bright green and squishy fleshy disgusting rippling liquid is pulsing it's way through an alley now, having cut across traffic. It starts to ooze up the side of a building, bulbous limbs entirely taking in part of the fire escape there as it hauls upwards. From the back hangs a line: which is attached to a harpoon gun. And a gun which is being clung to by a red and black attired mercenary.<br><br>"I hate. I just. I hate. There's really no need for this," Deadpool continues, while spinning in a circle as he's jerked up off of the ground. "I'm not letting go. I'm NOT."<br><br>The creatures sneezes suddenly, a blob of green vomit-like mass raining down on Deadpool.<br><br>"...You make a good argument."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:4|Peter Parker (4)}} has posed:'''<br>''All units, reports of a mass of bright green, and squishy fleshy disgusting rippling pulsating liquid spotted a the corner of 1st Street. Be advised the blob contains a red and black individual connected by a harpoon. Proceed with caution.'' <br><br>Spider-man was, as usual, monitoring the police traffic on his way back to Queens from Josies when he heard the all call and initial sighting. He was swinging through New York shortly thereafter while still tugging his mask into place with one hand gripping a thick webline. "Please don't be Deadpool, please don't be Deadpool." He murmurs over and over as he releases out of the appex of his swing and fires another line down an adjacent street to carry him along the momentum towards his intended destination. <br><br>''HEY SPIDEY!'' From the ground, white flashes of cellphone cameras as he swings low enough to brush just across the tops of streetlights and into a drawn out backflip complete with posed Peace Signs for the cameras, then another line taking him down an alley and out of view. <br><br>Upon reaching... whatever that is... and Deadpool.. Because of course it's Deadpool, Spidey hits the wall in a crouch with one hand out along the bricks a few dozen feet above the approaching goo. "Clean... your... fridge... Deadpool. What the hell IS that?" <br><br>"And WHY are you connected to it?"<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:118|Gwen Stacy (118)}} has posed:'''<br>Early evening in New York.<br><br>Honestly it has been when the very elusive Ghost Spider, aka Spider-Gwen, aka Better Looking Younger Spider-Woman has been getting all of her practice in at this relatively new superheroing thing.<br><br>Also monitoring police traffic would be super helpful for this whole crime fighting thing, though if Gwen was honest she has definitely not thought of that yet. She will feel bad at some point in the future when she figures out how much it would save her stumbling across absolutely ridiculously and stupid encounters with super villains.<br><br>I mean she stumbled on The Ringer this way for gods sake.<br><br>So when she spots Spider-Man swinging in towards something, she decides to follow. It has to be better than The Ringer right.<br><br>Landing on the roof above both of them and the goo and leans over and groans "This is definitely worse than The Ringer." then pauses a beat. "What is that thing and who is the idiot attached to it?"<br><br>Well who she is, that is also a good question.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:106|Deadpool (106)}} has posed:'''<br>"Dawww, you think I have things in my fridge!?" Deadpool says, charmed, and entirely distracted by the arrival of his favorite spider-friend, Spider-man. "Hi!" he says, hooking the harpoon gun under his elbow and braced across the forearm on that side, so to free up his other hand to childishly wave-wave-wave at Spider-man.<br><br>"You pose for them, but not for me? I deserve a selfie too, I'm like, only constantly confused for--" Deadpool encourages, but is suddenly hauled off his feet by the goo-monster that he totally hadn't forgotten about, flipped forward to bash his face onto the brick wall amid the showers of greenish gunk. Deadpool ricochets back a little bit, disoriented from the head injury. <br><br>"It's in my mouth," Deadpool yells in complaint through the awful splattering liquid. "It's in my moooouth."<br><br>And yet somehow the merc still has plenty to say.<br><br>Deadpool's now being dragged upwards as the creature works its way towards where Gwen is perched at the upper edge, leaving a trail of slime behind it like the most revolting mutant green slug. The creature is about the size of a small car, without eyes or features.<br><br>"This is a Deadpool; I am more than my Thing, thank you young lady. And the idiot attached to me is Clarence. I've named him," Deadpool asks loudly, but most of that is aimed at Gwen. Oh wait. "Did I get a head injury or are there two of you now?"<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:4|Peter Parker (4)}} has posed:'''<br>"Owooooo..." Spider-man, who usually has all the things to say, can't get a word in edgewise when Deadpool's on the case. Everytime there's a break, he starts to say something, but the Merc with a mouth uses his to fill that temporary void with word salad, at least until the head injury. Spidey's masks eyes shrink in shock with the blow and he recoils as if struck himself, "Jesus Christ, Deadpool. I need you to focus." <br><br>Spidey launches off the wall in a side flip so as to fire off weblines in rapid succession at the green goop what has a Mercenary attached. His thought process is to create a barrier of some kind so that he can get Pool free. "Where did it come from? Why did you name it Clarence... and WHY ARE YOU ATTACHED TO IT..." That's stressed, not shouted. <br><br>It's rude to shout. <br><br>After firing, Spidey attaches to the ajacent wall off the alley and looks up at Gwen, "Uh... hey." Tiny wave, "Have we met? This is awkward." Because he's upside down and sideways. "Neat costume though, wanna help me deal with sponge bob green slime? AkA Clarence?" <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:118|Gwen Stacy (118)}} has posed:'''<br>Gwen's own masks eyes widen a bit in shock, because honestly everything happening down there is a lot. It is much. It is extra. I mean Deadpool is involved so this surprirses no one.<br><br>"I am not a medical spider doctor but I am ninety percent certain you got a head injury just then. I mean yes there are also definitely two of us as well.. but you act like a head injury."<br><br>Spider-Gwen hops up now to the edge of the roof top and aims her hands at the Glob. Blob. Clarence. She fires several volleys of webshot straight into the front of.. face... this is so confusing... trying to slow it down and potential attach it to the wall.<br><br>"Okay this is absolutely disgusting. You have disgusting friends Spider-man." there is a pause for a beat "It looks like the Hulk had a violent headcold." another pause "Is it Fungal... athletes foot run amuck... maybe the Hulks... gamma-athletes foot..."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:106|Deadpool (106)}} has posed:'''<br>"Because this is my harpoon gun, and Clarence does NOT GET TO KEEP IT," Deadpool shouts back unnecessarily. Because it's rude to shout. And Deadpool is often rude.<br><br>"Why did I name it Clarence? Do you think it's more of a Roger? Or a Ruth, even? There wasn't a skirt to lift to check that out, and I'm pretty sure I shot it in the balls by the reaction I've had," Deadpool chatters. He digs his feet into a window, but there's too much slippery quality, and he slideees up and a leg goes through the glass. "Hel-lo," Deadpool 'whoops', shaking glass out of his teal croc. Why those? Well, he didn't want to step in the goop.<br><br>The goop which is now covering him and oozing out of the teal crocs in a syrup of green-yellow snot.<br><br>The shots Gwen pelts on it stick to it, but with all the wet yuck, there isn't much to actually grab onto, and the webs probably end up sliding towards Deadpool down the wall.<br><br>"Yeah, thanks, helping," Deadpool yells. "What this situation needed was nose-hairs included in the snot parade. Cool. Yep."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:4|Peter Parker (4)}} has posed:'''<br>"I feel like you assumed its gender and we don't do that kind of thing." Spidey really isn't in a joking mood, but it settles his anxiety about the situation to keep talking so that's precisely what he does. One-liners are a proven means of faking confidence, Doctor Oz said so. Doctor Phil, less so. <br><br>"I have an idea, but you're going to have to be useful." He says and pulls open one of the small pouches on his belt to slip a web cartridge from within, "... Dude, what if it's Hulk snot? Why am I humoring this..." There's a plan, Parker definitely has a plan. Chemistry! "I'm going to throw this in the middle of your boogery friend. Feminine me, I want you to throw one too. Deadpool, take one of your guns and shoot both of them once it's in the center-" Finger wiggling, "There somewhere.. god that's disgusting.." Focus. <br><br>"The high pressurized chemical should expand through the goo and solidify." Stress on should. "Everyone good? Good." The cartridge twists in his hand for a side arm throw at Clarence, aka Sponge Bob green slime, aka Hulk snot. <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:118|Gwen Stacy (118)}} has posed:'''<br>Gwen's masks eyes narrow when her webbing anchors to the wall and then just slides through Clarence towards Deadpool. "Okay that is probably one of the grossest things I have ever seen, and I have a degree in biology."<br><br>Then her attention shifts over to Spidey when he seems to have a plan, those narrowed white eyes remain narrowed as she watches it. "Wait your webslingers use concentated high pressure chemicals that you need to replace." she pauses "That is so ineffecient." <br><br>Okay yeah Gwen isn't being very good at being focused, she is also not being very good at being helpful right now. She doesn't fish out any cartridges to throw.<br><br>"Ill.. um try something else though so .. yeah.. go with his plan shoot that thingy."<br><br>Which is when Gwen hops down the roof a little ways so she isn't right in Clarence's path and then twists her wrists and sprays .. not a webline but a spray of webbing.. sort of going for a coating on the front of Clarence that will hopefully harden and catch the blast from the web cartridge if Spidey's plan works.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:106|Deadpool (106)}} has posed:'''<br>"You ask much of me, Spideykins," Deadpool says, on the subject of being useful. "But I can shoot canisters with my eyes closed. Even one-handed. So I will shoot, but might fall off this building. If I lose my harpoon gun I will be perturbed. Maybe mildly. And like the Hulk, you do not want to see me mildly perturbed," Deadpool answers.<br><br>He does, however, shoot as begged, pulling out the gun in slippery hands. "Shit the fuckshit," he says, fumbling it due to the slime. "I'm really disgusting down here, okay, stop judging me." He rights the gun, and shoots neatly, just like that. Single shot. Deadpool, yanno?<br><br>The Cannister explodes, loosely in the back of Clarence; the back fluxes in the expanding gas, and it's like a bucket of goop just got dumped on Deadpool.<br><br>"Ahhhhhhhh-ha-haaaaa," Deadpool reacts to the drenching. "I'm on Nickoloeon, aren't I. This is the worst facial ever. And I've had some weirdass facials," Deadpool tries to say, before he's muffled by the slime into a green loosely human shape. He loses his hold on the harpoon gun due to the slippery quality, and plummets.<br><br>Clarence's back is entirely open: a small round form was under all the goop, now exposed: some kind of animal, with a weird stunted tail, shows on the bottom. And, well, the harpoon stabbed into a back hip, where the gun dangles. Gwen's webbing has stopped it, and it seems to quiver in confusion, stopped on her set of webbings.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:4|Peter Parker (4)}} has posed:'''<br>Spider-man looks up at Gwen when she puts his webshooters on blast and slaps a hand over his wrist, with the other up to his lips, "Shhh they'll hear you being judgemental. I'm sorry I was fifteen when I made these out of items found in a high school chemistry lab.. Let me guess, you bought yours on Ebay when they started ripping me off." Grumbling quietly to himself, "I should have trademarked, I knew it, but no... who would ever copy you, Spidey." Mocking himself as he settles back against the roof to await Deadpool's shots at the web cartridge, which as it turns out is a rather more disgusting than he had suspected it would be. <br><br>"That's my bad." Raising his hand apologetically to the slimed Deadpool, "That'll teach you to say ''Sorry''. See, cus that's a Canadian show." Beat pause, "You can't do that on television? Too retro..." Definitely too retro. <br><br>Spidey fires a line at the creatures back in a wide choke to try and get it webbed to the wall, then swings over to lean against it near where it's speared with the harpoon, "Alright Clarence, I'm going to get you pooned..." Eyes furrow on his mask, "..." He shakes his head and glances up at Gwen, "Hey, does your super awesome suit come with surgical equipment or some form of anthesthetic?" <br><br>Then down at Deadpool, covered in slime, "Or adhesive remover.. I can smell you from here!" Half shouting down at Wade. <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:118|Gwen Stacy (118)}} has posed:'''<br>"No one wants to know about your facials Deadpool." okay she just met Wade but she already has a pretty good witty banter thing going at his speed. At least Gwen thinks this is probably his speed.<br><br>"Also you mean patents not trademarked. For the record though I built mine... and yours are pretty good for high school chemistry lab.. if inefficient." it is said all friendly and then she leaps down onto the opposite wall of the alley and studies the problem.<br><br>"Also no one wants you to pooned them Spiderman." which maybe is too snarky but she is still learning witty banter tempo. It sounded good in her head at least. "Okay so.. no I do not.. I am a biologist though." there is a pause "And I have no idea what that hairless molerat covered in slime is... but I would imagine if it is all barbed you should probably cut the rope and pass the head of that thing through the front like an old fashioned arrow.. as long as it isn't pointed at any vital organs at least."<br><br>"Disclaimer.. biologist not doctor spider remember... maybe just web it up good and leave it for the authorities... also maybe Nickelodian too since he shot the poor weird thing?"<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:106|Deadpool (106)}} has posed:'''<br>"Way to rescue me. Thanks. I'm fineeeeee," Deadpool yells as he slams into the metal, empty dumpster below. Crunch.<br><br>"ow."<br><br>And that's what they get from Deadpool, at least for the moment, because that was not a good fall and he's strangled with slime goo in his lungs. Just saying.<br><br>The actually rather fucking sizable creature is trying to escape from the webbing, and starts creating more green slime, starting to re-cover itself, which also begins to bury the head of the harpoon lodged inside it.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:4|Peter Parker (4)}} has posed:'''<br>The Spider-mask winces with each crunch of Deadpool pinballing down the fire escape and against a dumpster, "I'm almost afraid to look... if his head's turned around backwards, I'm definitely going to vomit." He looks, quickly then back up, and finally fully down upon the slimed merc on the alley floor. "Sorry!" <br><br>Looking on Gwen, across the slimole from him, "Patent, trademark... you knew what I meant.. Keep this thing occupied while I check on the 'Pool." Instead of climbing down he just lets go and falls along the wall with his fingertips barely touching so he can slow his descent at the bottom. A step off to kneel beside Deadpool with his arms dangling on his bent knees, one hand grabbing an arm to see how broke up he is. "You did such a good job with the shot, I just straight up forgot you didn't have a grapple hook or something. Everyone has a grapple hook." <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:118|Gwen Stacy (118)}} has posed:'''<br>Okay to be fair Gwen really thought he would be holding on to his harpoon gun line and not fall to his perhaps death. "OH CRAP" and then he goes ow "Oh thank god he is alive..."<br><br>The young woman genuinely feels bad about not shooting a web line or something to catch him. I mean she was up above with a giant blob between her and him but she feels bad.<br><br>She deals with her guilt by yelling down. "Why didn't you web him or catch him!"<br><br>And then it is just Gwen and Clarence, who seems to be trying to create more slime and cover itself. "Uh.. oh good god no Clarence McSnottington... this is not good." <br><br>Glancing up and towards the street Gwen shoots a webline out to hit a power line, and then once it is snagged gives a yank pulling it free and towards her hard. She catches it in one hand and then trying to not get covered in goo she gives it a very quick sparking end to the harpoon tap tap... makeshift taser. Hoping this isn't too much current... crud.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:106|Deadpool (106)}} has posed:'''<br>"Instead of a grapple hook.... I," Deadpool says dramatically, "....I have trust." A pause. "/Had/ trust." He's on his face, and lifting his arm up and back suggests dislocation, maybe broken at the shoulder. It makes a noise like loose bone gravel. Not pleasant. "I might need mouth to mouth." <br><br>Deadpool pulls up the front of his mask up to the nose bridge with one goo'd hand and spits out green yuck. "False alarm. ...I don't..." gag gag. "Know how it got in. Damn the need to breathe," Deadpool gags. He pushes up onto his knees, and pulls at his shoulder and forearm. Fortunately for everyone looking, the green slime vomit is an improvement over the exposed skin that normally would be showing on Deadpool's chin and jaw.<br><br>Above them, the taser idea works. In that it makes the goop-like mutant thing just .... explode. It was there, and then there was a really loud frying sound, and a pop, like a goo-balloon. For something weak to electricity, that was explosive.<br><br>The harpoon gun falls, flipping over, to rain down on the heads of the hero (and the Deadpool) below.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:4|Peter Parker (4)}} has posed:'''<br>"Of the two of us." Webhead shots back at Gwen, "Which one of us has the superior webshooter? HMMM?!" Yes, he's petty. Yes he's willing to bank Deadpool's bodily harm on his pettiness. He's not fifteen, but he may as well be for all the maturity he's capable of right now. <br><br>"That's digusting." Upon the rising of masks, visibilizing of faces (slimed and not), "I'm pretty sure I'm going to be sick." With a hand to his stomach, he too stands and glances up at Gwen doing her thing with the power cables and then Clarence explodes like a seagull eating alkazeltzer. <br><br>Learning from his earlier mistake, Spidey webs the harpoon gun and pulls it to his hand, then holds it out to Deadpool like a ''sorry I let you bounce down into an alley from six or seven stories up'' gift. "Sorry about Clarence." He is, nothing should have to explode and rain bits of body down on him like that. There will be nightmares. "Where did you find that thing and where did she come from?" <br><br> Thumbin up at Gwen, "Because she hurt my feelings." <br><br>"No, just kidding, they're fine." <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:118|Gwen Stacy (118)}} has posed:'''<br>Like a seagull eating an alkazeltzer.<br><br>The horror.<br><br>Honestly Gwen is speechless up there on the wall holding a sparking power cable in one hand, the other planted on the wall of the alley near where Clarence use to be.<br><br>Mask eyes wide with the horror of it all.<br><br>also covered in Slime now as well, all three of them really.<br><br>Finally.<br><br>"OH GOD I KILLED IT!!" okay yeah the lady spider is super upset up there, missing all the banter because of FEELS.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:106|Deadpool (106)}} has posed:'''<br>Deadpool looks up, accepts the harpoon gun, and stands. He looks at Pete fondly.<br><br>"Clarence. He." Deadpool points at Spidey's mask. "You have Clarence testacles on your forehead."<br><br>Deadpool flips his shoulder and it cracks back into place. He still has some problems with the elbow. He starts to accept the Harpoon gun, moving close to Spider-Man to do so. <br><br>"She hurt you? Come here, buddy; let daddy see," Deadpool says abruptly, in his unpredictable away, already halfway into trying to pull Spider-Man's head towards his armpit in an embrace. No need for spider-senses or danger sense, this is all love. And awkward petting. "I'll just get that for ya," Deadpool stage-whispers, trying to also remove the goopy blobs he identified (maybe incorrectly) as Clarence nuts.<br><br>"There there." Pat pat. He'll take the harpoon gun back too.<br><br>"Yes, you're a murderer of a crazed cloned rat-thing. I'll take credit though, okay? Okayyyy!" Deadpool yells up at Gwen.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:4|Peter Parker (4)}} has posed:'''<br>"There are balls on my face." Spidey says with a clipped nod, standing so stark still at this point that he could correctly be identified as grossed out. Maybe not specifically because of the testicles dangling on his mask, but the general goriness of everything what rained down upon him. <br><br>There's no mistaken the jutting of his chin beneath his mask, probably good that he's wearing for more reasons than keeping the disgust from view. He's just seeen the depths to which electricity will go in destroying a creature and he can accurately say that he never needs to ever see it again. <br><br>Deadpool flicking the goop from his face does nothing to aleviate the general sense of disgust that permiates off him like a hot furnace. <br><br>"There... where balls on my face." <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:118|Gwen Stacy (118)}} has posed:'''<br>Breath Gwen. Breath.<br><br>"W...what??" it takes a couple of long moments holding sparking death and being overcome by feels for Gwen to really understood what Deadpool just said. "Wait... cloned rat-thing monster...." she looks around then down at the goop piled around them below.<br><br>This is about the point that their conversation, hugging, and .. balls being flicked away also sinks in.<br><br>Blink. Blink.<br><br>Blink.<br><br>"Thank god." she lets go of the wall with her hand, webs the end of the sparking power line coating it so it won't hurt anyone when she flings it down and away from the boys.<br><br>Then she just lets go and does a perfect superhero landing, it is cinematically brilliant, right by them both. Pose and all.<br><br>"Do you boys need a room.. I mean you have plenty of..." okay she stops herself from saying lube. The thought is what counts anyhow right.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:106|Deadpool (106)}} has posed:'''<br>"LOVE?" Supplies Deadpool up at her. Don't worry, Gwen, Deadpool is here for you.<br><br>"It's like saying frick. If you're going to start it, don't stop short, go for the Fucking Gold," Deadpool encourages, lifting one hand with a squeeze of fist. Sort of; he still has his gun, so it's just a raise of gun. He twists a little, to put it away on a thigh holster.<br><br>He hasn't let go of poor Spidey, though. The poor guy may still need emotional support. Or something. "If you have a room, tell us now, because I really want a shower. Don't just tease us with asking that shit unless you have it," Deadpool adds.<br><br>One palm attempts to come up to pat poor Peter's face, palm to the cheek, fingers wrapping gently against the ear area. Comforting. Except it's Deadpool. "Hey now, stay with me. If I'm the steady one in a situation, we're all fucked. And not in a good kind of fucked. More a prison gang rape kind. Which isn't for everybody. I mean. Not that they get a say in it. That's the point."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:4|Peter Parker (4)}} has posed:'''<br>Spidey points a warning finger at Gwen, "Don't finish that sentence... Don't. I can't handle it right now okay. I'm very emotional right now." He's still gory and gooey and being hugged by Deadpool at this point, so his pointing and accusatory gesturing probably comes off far more comical than he initially intends for. <br><br>Them's the breaks. <br><br>"I had BALLS on my FACE." Another vicious, still kind of comical, but also accusatory point at Gwen. Then Deadpool. <br><br>Then Deadpool says the things that Deadpool said. <br><br>Pete's masks eyes squint to narrowed pin pricks, which probably means he closed his eyes behind the mask, and he takes a long deep breath. One hand reaches up to gingerly, ever so lightly, remove Deadpool's hand from his cheek. "I hate both of you." He doesn't mean that. He's emotional. <br><br>Like watching Titanic. <br><br>Or a League of their Own. <br><br>Except with balls on the face. <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:118|Gwen Stacy (118)}} has posed:'''<br>Gwen just looks at Deadpool and then at Spidey. The look drifts between them both. Challenge accepted. "I was going to say lube." dashing all Deadpool's hopes about Love probably and also then dashing Peter's about not finishing that sentence.<br><br>"Also neither of you are allowed in my apartment. I am pretty sure I am not allowed in my apartment coated in Clarence. Or balls." she moves from the hero pose to casually wipe goo, ooze, gore... gorze... off her face, and then flicks her hand trying to get it off her glove.<br><br>Unfortunately for the boys it flicks right at their heads.<br><br>"Ooo.. sorry." she actually sounds about fifty percent contrite.<br><br>"So .. is fighting villains with you two always like that .. because I may just go back to dealing with The Ringer at this rate."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:106|Deadpool (106)}} has posed:'''<br>Deadpool's hand is easily removed. He draws it back towards his own face, his exposed mouth. He puts two fingers to his lips, and then extends them to Spidey.<br><br>Just as Gwen flicks more goops at them. Some of it hits the side of Deadpool's exposed mouth. He lifts his wrist and wipes the spot, only to leave a long smear there, because his gloved wrist was SO MUCH WORSE than the splatter from Gwen or what was there before.<br><br>No, wait. That's some of his real skin showing. That's why it's so bad.<br><br>"No, usually there's more gunfire," Deadpool answers Gwen, finally flipping his forearm back into place. He's healed. It's a miracle. Though it may just appear to Gwen that he wasn't hurt to begin with, since super healing isn't super common to see at that ridiculous speed.<br><br>"You can come home with me. Ready? If I can find my teleporter in all of this," Deadpool says, starting to rub his hands down himself to squeegee off the goo.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:4|Peter Parker (4)}} has posed:'''<br>Genuinely and truly, Spidey was coming around. <br><br>The shock of it was subsiding and he was getting back to something resembling normal speed where he could rationalize away the earlier testicular intervention upon his personage. It was all good. Then more goo slaps against the side of his face. Just a little by comparison to the whole mole that rained guts and blood upon him earlier, but it's just a little too much. <br><br>There's a long breath and then an exasperated sigh what ends with his shoulders slumped down and his head bowed forward. Completely defeated. Rendered nul by such grossocity that there's ney a word what resides within him to verbalize how put out he is with how things turned on him. <br><br>It's bad. It's really bad. <br><br>"It tastes salty." He murmurs, for himself. For his sanity, for the live studeo audience and everyone watching at home. <br><br>"God help us all, it tastes salty." <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:118|Gwen Stacy (118)}} has posed:'''<br>"I may be ill. and I have never been so thankful for my mask at this point. Never so thankful. Also on the bright side I don't think anyone from the Bugle got photos?" this is about when Spidey clarifies for everyone that Clarence tastes salty. Honestly it is probably too much for her to even have a witty quip about it.<br><br>Despite her disgust though she slides a small vial out and scoops a tiny sample off her suit into it before sealing it up and tucking it back away while it is fresh.<br><br>"Wait.. teleporter?" those masked eyes are very wide for a moment. "Is he serious?" looking to Spider-man now.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:106|Deadpool (106)}} has posed:'''<br>"What the fuck are you doing eating it? You don't heal diseases. It probably has fucked everything in the sewer. Geezus christ on a fuckstick, Spider-Man," Deadpool vents, and changes his search into his other pockets. He fishes around, getting goo on ... everything. it's hard to identify what all he fumbles through. That might have been a thing of matches. A tamagotchi. Some plastic silverware -- mostly forks.<br><br>"Do I look serious?" Deadpool asks Gwen. Search search. Then a packet.<br><br>"Here. Sweet baby Jesus," Deadpool says, ripping it open, and offering the moist towelette inside.<br><br>"Don't go into the light!"<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:4|Peter Parker (4)}} has posed:'''<br>"Very rarely." Spidey says to Gwen's question in a voice that is unnaturally calm given the particulars of the situation, most notably the fact that some of Clarence definitely oozed through his mask into his mouth. That is not something he's likely to forget anytime in the foreseeable future. <br><br>With another heavy breath, he lifts his head and reaches out for the moist towelette to wipe vigorously at the corner of his mask, "I'm fine." He isn't, he is a lot of things, none of which are fine . He is calm though, so that's a paved road to fine. "I want to say this is the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me and, without a doubt it's the grossest, but.. I was bitten by a radioactive spider and given super powers. This ranks somewhere between three and four on my weird meter." Wiping, there's not enough wiping. <br><br>"That, I think, is probably what bothers me the most. This, all of this that has happened tonight, it only ranks half has high on a strange chart. That means on any given day, everything that's happened? I've delt with worse... if not grosser." <br><br>Thank god for the trashcan. Pete walks over and drops it into a recepticle. There's a lot going on in this alley and he's worried about littering. <br><br>"And all that, I still think I'll need therapy." <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:118|Gwen Stacy (118)}} has posed:'''<br>AS ridiculous as Deadpool is, right about now Gwen is staring her costume eyes narrow points at the moist towelette he somehow finds in one of those pouches or pockets in his suit.<br><br>"Honest to god I am going to design a better pocket into this suit and carry moist towelettes from here on out."<br><br>Then what Spidey said sinks in. Her focus and squint is turned on Spidey now, fully, it is an intense staring.. though really she has a mask.<br><br>Also how is it the eyes on their masks do that anyways.<br><br>"I was bitten by a radioactive spider!" there is a pause "What are the odds of that... biologist again not mathematician but I do deal with genetics and samples and statistics and let me tell you... this .. is actually even stranger than being bitten by the spider..."<br><br>Then a gloved hand points to a pile of goo. "Though absolutely not the grossest... this is the grossest for sure."<br><br>"Also I think the guy with the Katana and Guns may need more therapy than you do."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:106|Deadpool (106)}} has posed:'''<br>"Therapy? I'm groovy. Therapy, says the girl who had to remind us she's an important biologist three times. Four? Let me check my backscroll," replies Deadpool in response to him needing therapy. He waggles his hand at nothing. "Okay, three! And lay off my Spider-buddy; his gear is the original SHIT," Deadpool says protectively of Spidey. Just cause. "He has had a rough day."<br><br>Deadpool sets his hands at his hips, surveying them both. "In case you wondered, my backstory is like a torture porn. I'll spare you." He lifts a hand and pulls his mask back down -- goo and all. Whatever. It's a Thursday for Deadpool.<br><br>But then Peter goes walking out of the dumpster to throw away the toilette in a smaller trash can by the street. "Shit." Deadpool grabs the edge of the dumpster and hurtles out. "Okay, so I'm teleporting, like I said when I was super serious yet somehow questioned. You good? Or you want to come? I promise I won't like, watch while you shower. Hero bros protect hero bros identities."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:4|Peter Parker (4)}} has posed:'''<br>Peter's mask has sensors attached to the inside lining with on a neural weave mesh that mimics facial alterations in real-time. It allows him a wide range of optic visual scans that have little to do with appropriately duplicating facial emot, but it ALSO does that. He minored in technology and cybernetics. "The odds of that are astronomically high." Some humanity is returning to his tone now that he's actively done something to wipe goo off his face. <br><br>There's more of it, mind, so much more.. but he's done something about a small section and that's enough for now. <br><br>"The chance a person is struck by lightning is one in seven hundred thousand and a radioactive spider being present at any given moment is one in seven hundred and twenty million. You figure that getting bit by that spider is roughly equivilant of your chance to get struck by lightning pending the existance of said spider as a rain cloud, which figures about one in, round figure, a billion chances." Mental calculations are kind of fun, "That two spiders of said ability exist is beyond calculation without more exacting statistics, but I'll go out on a limb saying that it is both improbable and ney impossible." <br><br>Which says nothing on the fact that it has. <br><br>Let alone that it's potentially someone Peter Parker KNOWS. <br><br>It's mind boggling. <br><br>"I... Im good. Not that I don't appreciate the offer." To Deadpool, both hands sliding over his mask to fling things he doesn't want to think about onto the alley floor. "I want my bed. And soup. And my comfort blanket. And Game of Thrones marathon." <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:118|Gwen Stacy (118)}} has posed:'''<br>Mind Boggling Indeed.<br><br>I mean if they ever realize they know each other and even went to school together. Well then it goes from Mind Boggling to someone having an anueryism.<br><br>Probably also points to fate or cosmic spider totems or something crazy.<br><br>"That sounds about right. Though it happened. Crazy."<br><br>Gwen moves and then winces a bit "Oh god this is so gross I think Clarence is hardening a bit ... okay I also need to go get all of this gunk off me and hope I can get it off my suit." shudder.<br><br>"Despite... all this.. it was great to finally meet you." yeah that is delivered to Spidey. To Deadpool she nods. "And .. you I guess..." and then back to Spidey. "Lets maybe do this again sometime, just not oozemonsters.. and maybe compare notes on spiders." yeah well she did say she was a geneticist, something like three times if Deadpool can be counted for accuracy. Which is questionable at best.<br><br>Also why did he say scroll back.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:106|Deadpool (106)}} has posed:'''<br>"Arya is my spirit animal," Deadpool says, after a lot of vacant staring during Peter's mathing. He just went somewhere else mentally during all of that. "I'll stop by later and we'll eat popcorn."<br><br>Right. That could happen.<br><br>"But I need you to hang onto this locator. It is not a suppository," Deadpool says, finding a (shockingly) gooey object from a different pocket and trying to stick it to Spidey. That'll stay. (Actually it might, the goo is kind of grossly sticky now).<br><br>"Okay then. Byebye!" Deadpool singsongs. He blows a kiss, fiddles with his gear, and suddenly is just... gone. Easy as that. Just bore him with statistics, and off he goes.<br><br><span style="color:#FFCC33">Scroll back? WHY INDEED.</span><br><br>Your FACE is a scrollback.<br><br><span style="color:#FFCC33">YOUR MOM.</span><br><br>...That didn't even make sense.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:4|Peter Parker (4)}} has posed:'''<br>"That's all it took." Spidey watches as Deadpool vanishes, not with a bang or even a whimper, but with a... just gone. Like a paycheck on federal taxes. Pete shakes his head at the little stuck on tracker and plucks it from his costume to turn between two fingers, "I have expect this to explode in a pink cloudy heart." Behind his mask, his lips are pursed. Rather than tossing the object, however, he deactivates it and slips it away because there's no telling when having a teleporting Deadpool could come in incredibly handy. <br><br>Now alone with Gwen, Spidey rubs his knuckles at the base of his skull over his mask, "Yeah, completely agree. I feel like this was a cheat day, if I'm honest. Shouldn't count for social meetings or.. really anything." Because he wants to forget. He wants to forget very badly. <br><br>"Right now, I need a hot bed and a comfortable shower. In any combination of two objects and two adjectives." Wiggling two fingers, "What do I call you?" <br><br>One foot steps up on the wall, easily walking up the vertical surface lazily. Prepared to take swinging flight through the streets of NYC. No pictures this time. <br><br>He wants to forget. <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:118|Gwen Stacy (118)}} has posed:'''<br>"I.. to be honest am still working on that. I mean Spider-Woman is taken.. stupid Avengers..." she pauses "So yeah.. I've been using Ghost Spider for now."<br><br>"Also totally a cheat day. We did not meet covered in Clarence and dealing with a red suited Captain Ahab and his green whale of a date."<br><br>She shrugs fluidly "Catch you later Spidey." and then leaps up the other wall and well races him to the top just like he was being oh so casual doing there, firing a webline and swinging towards uptown.<br><br>Time for a drink.<br><br>Though first shower.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:4|Peter Parker (4)}} has posed:'''<br>"Ghost Spider." Spidey justs out his jaw and nods thoughtfully, "We can work on it, but I'm terrible at naming conventions. Spider-man?" Hands out, kind of sideway'ish because he's standing on a vertical wall and all. "Seeya around Ghost." Watching her go, still wiping gooey palms on his gory legs. <br><br>Alone in the alley, the sounds of police cruisers in the distance, Spidey looks around with a heavy sigh. "Well, Clarence.. I didn't know you very well, but you definitely made an impression." With his eulogy of the recently departed quietly delivered, Peter leaps off the wall, fires webbing from both wrists, and swings out of the alley in the oposite direction from that which would deposit him in the street. <br><br>"Villainous, vermon, Spider-man, viciously veers most verbose in vehement villification of Jello monster." Grumbling, already reading the title of the Daily Bugles front page headline. <br> <br>
}}