View source for 8912/Fables of the Deconstruction

{{Log Header
|Date of Scene=2019/08/22
|Location=Doug's Room (West Halls), Xavier's School
|Synopsis=You don't live through heartache, but you can live with it.
|Cast of Characters=1126,145
|pretty=yes
}}
{{Poses
|Poses=:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>It is the middle of the night. There's a thunderstorm outside, the kind of booming, lingering thing you get as August gives way to September and Summer begins to give-way to fall. An in-between time, heralded by the tumult of change.<br><br>Doug's sleep is uncomfortable, rocked by old nightmares. "Nnnn... nnn. Look out!" He sits up, sharply, and then gets up, before he walks to the bathroom to splash cold water on his face.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>Sad state of affairs that Doug has terrible night terrors only a moment before Illyana appears in his room. She's not much of a knocker and rarely announces herself because Personal Space isn't something she ever really learned. In fairness, she was 9 only a year ago. <br><br>Instead, she's sitting on the floor in the same place she was the night before, just wearing different clothes. Pajama pants, black pajama pants with little spiders on them, and a long black sleep shirt. She's eating the cookies that were left from the impromptu New Mutant gathering. <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>Doug looks up into the mirror, and manages to suppress his startle. "...Hi, Illyana." He says, before he frowns, and then grips the sink. "How're you?"<br><br>Thunder rattles the house.<br><br>"...Nice night, isn't it?"<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>Illyana glances up at the reflection of Doug in the mirror, sitting cross legged on the floor, pushing a cookie in her barely open mouth with one finger. As usual, her eyes are pale, staring, and kind of creepy because she /is/ creepy. <br><br>"Privet, Doug." The thunder rolls, profile lighting her. She casts a really omenous horned shadow, but that /has/ to be some trick of the light. "Good." <br><br>She looks back down into the bag to grab another cookie. <br><br>"Da, I like storm." <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>Doug walks in, and falls backward onto the bed. He looks up at the horned shadow as it splashes along the wall, and then he... shrugs, and puts his hand behind his head. He grabs his phone with his left hand, and begins to flip through something. "What's up?" He asks, "Can't sleep? ...Clowns will eat me? As in me, not you, I don't think Pennywise himself would dare--" He pauses, and then lowers his phone.<br><br>"Something on your mind?"<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>"Me? I do not ever sleep." Illyana finishes another cookie and sets the bag down beside her rather than grab for another. Her palms cross in her lap, fist wrapped by her palm, eyes staring down at them. "Nyet, I am not afraid of clowns." Is she afraid of anything, though? She sighs quietly and shrugs thin shoulders. <br><br>"I am sad and I am very angry. I do not like this feeling." To her credit she looks less angry than she does sad. <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>Doug blinks, and then says, "...I... huh." He sits up. "Well, I mean I knew that -- but it'd be rude to say something unprompted. He puts bare feet on the floor, and then says, "...If... you want to talk about it, I'll listen. I won't even offer any advice or anything unless you ask for it."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>"What should I say?" Illyana glances up, pale eyes watching Doug shift from laying on the bed to sitting up upon it. "Everyone is right? I make mistake? I..." She presses her lips into a thin line and glances off. "I do not regret, do not think is mistake. I think... I do not know what I think. I know I am angry and sad. This is what I know." <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>Doug tilts his head, and then says, "Wait. Everyone is right? You made a mistake? Who told you that?" He asks. Then he pauses, and gets up again. He goes into the bathroom, and comes back with a hairbrush. He has to brush that coif out in the morning before he combs it. Otherwise, it's a total haystack in a hurricane. "Uh." He looks down at his hairbrush. "Well, it's my hairbrush. If that's all right."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>"Da, they say I am rebound.. I guess they are right?" Illyana holds her hands out at the lack of telepath around her, "I should not be this way, but here I am. Maybe this is mistake." Her hands fall back into her lap, eyes narrowing, but more thoughtful than angry. "Why do you have hairbrush?" <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>"I was going to... offer to brush your hair." Doug says. He frowns, and rolls his eyes, looking from side to side. "My mother used to ask me to do it when she was stressed, it relaxed her, so I figured maybe it'd help you." He shrugs. "It was worth a shot." Then he says, "Look... hey. As far as I'm concerned, what you did was incredible. I know how hard that kind of affection IS for you -- I was happy that you were happy. And I'm sorry it didn't work out. Betsy -- Betsy's like a butterfly. She never settles in one spot for long."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>To brush her hair. Illyana squints at Doug for a while, then works her hips to scoot forward to make room behind her on the couch. "I do not want to talk about this anymore." Maybe she does and doesn't know how. Her head lowers so she can stare down at her hands, palms turned up a little, half wrapped in her shirt. "This feels so much worse than anything I am ever having to experience. I try very hard to .. pretend. Like I am okay. I put on face that is strong for people because they expecting this, but I just feeling inside like I am empty now." Maybe she does want to talk about it though. <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>Doug gets up, and walks over to sit behind Illyana. He leans down, and begins to brush her hair, with slow, even strokes. He's good at it. No snags. It helps that Illyana's hair is pin-straight, of course. He's patient about it, holding lengths of her hair in his hand and brushing them out. "...You were in love." Doug says. "Were. Are. I get it. And you didn't get a chance to ease into it... teenage crushes, first loves... they're practice for the real thing. You didn't get that practice." He snorts. "I didn't either. You don't have to pretend you're okay. I can guess what the worst part is. You want to be mad at her, but you'd rather just have her back?"<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>Illyana doesn't move, even while her white-blonde hair is being brushed, she continues to stare down at her hands. Only little bits of black polish remains on a couple of her fingers.. one of them, at least, has been completely scraped clean. Like flecks of black sand in an hourglass. She breaths deeply and lets it out in shoulder hunching sigh, "Da." It's a quiet agreement. "I want this to stop hurting. It is only a few days and it already feels like forever." For Demon Queen, a few days /is/ eternity in Limbo. She could have left Earth for years and come back minutes later. Older, wiser, and with all this pain behind her. <br><br>But she didn't. <br><br>She stayed here on Earth. A place she vocally hates.. to feel this agony. <br><br>"Does it ever end?" Asking with a glance back at Doug. <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>"Well, I have good news for you." Doug says. "And bad news. The bad news is that... no, it doesn't. You were in love, and part of you always will be. Just like grief, it stays with you. But the good news is that love, like grief, is a transformative thing. It changes its form... and it changes you."<br><br>He falls quiet, brushing, in silence. "It's okay to be mad at her."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>Illyana shakes her head, "I cannot be mad at her. She did not lie to me or intentionally hurting me. She was true to herself, I said this would always be paramount to my love for her and I mean that now as much as I mean that then." In a lot of ways, she's far more mature than she's a right to. In others... "If I get mad at her, it will be very bad." She's less so. <br><br>"This does not sound like good news." Frowning, leaning back a little with a glance at Doug's hand holding the brush as it passes along a long length of her blonde hair. <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>"Well." Doug says, "I can understand how right now it would be a cold comfort." He says. "But part of it's also addiction. It's a *wonderful* feeling, being in love. I'm a fan!" He says. "And the intensity of the emotion is paralelled by what you feel when that relationship ends."<br><br>He thinks, and then says, "Kitty. I was in love with Kitty. It was a stupid love, the way a teenage boy loves, but I was. But she never felt the same way about me. I grinned and I ate it when I realized that and it *sucked*. I don't mean to... talk about myself. I just wanted to... show you I empathize. I watched your *brother* swoop in and make off with the girl I loved. And I didn't have a *prayer*." He snorts, and grins.<br><br>"I can't make you not feel terrible. I wish that I could. I can sit with you, though. You don't have to feel terrible alone, if you don't want to."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>Illyana looks back forward as Doug begins to speak, lightly nudging her shoulder back against his knee to encourage him, if quietly, to keep brushing her hair. It's the little gestures with her. The small things people might over look. She's not verbose or vocal until she has something to say, which usually means she has actions to take... and something is going to hurt for it. <br><br>So the small cues have to suffice. <br><br>The way she just twists a little when she doesn't have to so her shoulder taps his knee. To some it's a breath, to her it's big sign. "I miss Piotr." She murmurs quietly of her brother, closing her eyes at the mention of him. <br><br>"I know, Doug. That is why I am coming here. You are always very good friend to me, even perhaps when I am not such a good friend to you. Blagodaryu vas." <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>Doug looks down, and then says, "...You always see me for just who I am, and you don't judge." Doug says. "...Rahne makes me feel a little bit like a doll." He says, "Something that sits in the corner and smiles. I'm not allowed to be angry, or cross, or too happy, or..." He sighs, and cuts himself off. "Or anything, really. Just some precious memory, frozen in time."<br><br>"Man, if I told her I felt like I was getting that off her, she would lose it." He sighs, and then says, "...You're worth loving, Illyana. And there are people who haven't gone through one fraction of what you've suffered through who're so much crueler, so much more evil. I think you're a wonderful person. Demons and all. Call me a pollyanna if you must, but that's how I see you. A damaged, badass, wonderful person."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>"She is very judgemental to me." Illyana's hackles raise a little at the mention of Rahne, shoulders tightening, and jaw working a little as she remembers the night before. "She does not know what is in my head... she just knows her own opinions and feels they are right.. I came to... but nobody did." Her frown deepens, "I wanted to be asked if I was okay, but I have building up walls so high nobody is able to see over." <br><br>She reaps what she sows. <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>"Well, you know me... I always have a ladder." Doug says. He goes back to brushing. "She means well. She just... was so used to being pushed around for so long, that she overcompensates. I love Rahne," Doug says, "...But I can't be the smiling doll of a boy. We're people, you and I, and I think people forgetting that is something we have in common. I get angry, I have bad days, I want things. You have feelings... they can be hurt. Sometimes I guess we just have to say so."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>"Then someone thinks they can 'hurt' me." Illyana narrows her eyes, but the rise of anger cannot fully form in her and she just slumps, "Maybe is good idea... I do not know. Very poor at this. No experience with matters pretaining to metaphorical heart." <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>Doug says, "It'd be easy to be simple. But we're complicated, scarred hot messes." He admires Illyana's hair, the way it shines in the dim light. Then he adds, his voice quiet. "I could try to distract you, for a little while. We could play a game -- um. Board games?" He smirks. "We haven't hung out in so long I don't even know what you like doing anymore."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>Illyana is quiet as well, staring down at her hands in her lap. Pale skin against her black pajamas pants and shirt, a small frown on her face is just a thin line across her face. "I do not know what I like. I started to like television. Cooking... I like cooking I think. I am not very good at it, but she always smiled when I made things." Her eyes move back and forth slowly, blinking only periodically, "What kind of board game?" <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>Doug says, "You know.. I can't cook. I get distracted every time and I ruin it. Always have, ever since scouts. But it would be fun to help you learn." He adds, "Um, how about... Kill Doctor Lucky?" He gets up to rumnage the game in his things. "It's like Clue, except you want to be the killer because everyone hates Doctor Lucky. But we also try to stop each other, because each of us wants to do the deed ourselves." He gets out an envelope. This is the old version, that was a paper map and other essential pieces, and you use your own tokens. " He beams. Nerd.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>Illy watches Doug move over to find the game and raises an eyebrow at the name, a small ghost of a grin crossing her pale features. "What kind of token is it we use? Anything we have?" She shifts a little, turning so that she's facing him with her left side against the cushions rather than back to it. "If you would like." It's odd, the order in which she answers things sometimes without clarifying. Perhaps she means helping her learn to cook? Maybe agreeing to play the board game. Who even knows. Her palms lay against her thighs, back perfectly straight. "Do you have apple cidar?" <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>"I can... uh. Run to the mini-mart and get some.". Doug says, looking out at the rain. " Gimme half an hour. " He hands Illyana the envelope. "Set up the game and I will be back.". He changes into a pair of jeans in the bathroom , stuffs his feet in his sneakers, and says, "I'll get some other stuff, too."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>Illyana watches Doug go through the motions of getting himself ready to brave the storm and glances at said storm through the window with a fractional turn of her head in that direction, "There is no reason to do this, Doug. I do not /need/ cidar, but I do not know if you are having it if I do not ask." She accepts the envelop and dumps the contents out on the floor infront of her. Staring down at them it becomes quite obvious that she has no idea what she's suppose to do ''set up the game''. <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>Doug pauses. "Oh. ...Right." He takes his shoes off again, and sits, before he digs coins out of his pocket. " It's easy. You just lay down the nap, pick the rooms you start in, put Doctor Lucky here... " The game us actually kind of a chase, where people move through the house to catch the Dictor, who moves in a set order... except when cards are played to change how he moves, or even teleprt him across the board. When you catch him, you roll to do the deed, but the other player can play cards to stop you. They're all ridiculous. Doug reads one that gets played. "...You successfully kill Doctor Lucky; only to watch as his free respawn kicks in and he rises from thw grave in a ray of golden light."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>Illyana watches the board being laid out with rapt attention, as she does near everything regardless of the menial nature of said task. "Okay" She agrees with a nod, glancing around for something she can use as a token until her pale-blue eyes fall upon the black ring inlaid with skulls.. with a sigh she puts the finger in her mouth to wet it, then pulls it off and sets it down somewhere on the baord. "This will do for token piece?" <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>"Sure." Doug says, somberly. He leans in, coaching Illyana through a very silly board game. But as cards run out, the gane narrows, until Illyana manages to off the doctor using... a suitcase nuke. "Hey! You won!". Doug beams. " It's a really silly game... but I love it. "<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>Illyana is ... surprisingly competitive when it comes to the game. Though maybe not so much to anyone who really knows her... everything is a battle. Sitting with her cards held up close to her, arm wrapped around her knees, huddled slightly as if she's really plotting the poor Doctors death. "That was entertaining." Actually smiling, looking across the board until she settles upon the ring. Slowly she reaches out for it and begins to push it back on her finger. <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>"I like spending time with you." Doug says, drily. "In a way... we were both cheated of the chance to grow up. So we have to make up lost ground. It hurts, sometimes.". Doug curls his fingers around his knees. "But part of that is that the shapes of the peopke we used to be are too small to hold us. They become a cage. And what breaks out of that cage... kinda scary."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>Lightning flashes beyond the window and side lights Illyana, it casts a creeping dark shadow across the floor that looks more like a claw grabbing out towards Doug than anything resembling her physical body. A metaphysical representation of his metaphor, perhaps. She just watches him. Chin on her knees, pulled up close to her chest with her arms around them, "Da." She agrees with her eyes sliding closed. "It seemed appropriate for me to rush things with Betsy... but when I go to Limbo, time passes so slowly here.. I am gone for weeks at a time to me, but only seconds have passed here. Nobody is understanding why I am so set upon idea that seems so ''new'' and fresh to them." There's a kind of sadness to her, but it's buried beneath layers of hard tones, "I was two months of time in love, Doug. It was very much longer to me." <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>Doug thinks about it. Then he gets up, and opens his window to the pouring rain. He starts to climb out. "Come on." He glances behind him.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>Illyana glances after Doug, standing up from her seat with a look down at her clothes and barefeet. Not that either bother her, that's only as long as it takes her to decide to follow him out of the window. Climbing through into the rain easily, turning her head up to let it pour across her face with her eyes closed. "Where are we going?" <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>"Outside!". Doug climbs out and down the trellis. He's already soaked. He holds up his arms and then says, "We're alive! And it hurts like a bitch sometimes!". Hr holds up his hand to Illyana. "We're alive, we can love, we can do stupid shit if we feel like it. We could take over the world! Except I don't WANT TO! Do you?"<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>Illyana jumps from the second story half roof and lands with a splashing roll across the grass, instantly soaking her to the bone. Mud across her prestine white, doll like, face as she looks up at the dark clouds clinging to the sky like smoke above a fire. There's a little hint of a grin, hair clinging to her face like wet cloth, "Sometimes." She admits to Doug when he asks if she wants to take over the world. Her hands stay down at her sides, but she does spin in a small circle.. the momentum of which has her arms coming up like a propeller. <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>Doug Ramsey says, "Well we'd be better at it than some of these clowns!" He gives Illyana a little spin, and jumps into a puddle. "It hurts! And it's supposed to; the alternative is numbness. No love, no joy, no desire." He stops, and stands there, in the rain. "I am so sorry she hurt you. It isn't right. I can't make it right.". Rain splashes down his face. " And I am mad at her in a way I didn't know I could be. " He shakes his head. " It was wrong to do that... when peopke like you and I are still learning what love is. What we want! ""<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>Illyana lets the rain wash the away the traces of mud from her face. A flash of lightning casts her in a white-blue glow, haloing her like some dark creature. The shadow it leaves behind her is like batwings coiling off her back and even once the light fades, they don't immediately follow. Some impression left behind like a duplicate in a developed picture or an apperition on a lonely room. WHen she turns then to Doug, eyes staring at him, "Do not be mad at her. She did not hurt me intentionally.. it was only two months for her, barely a spittle of time she and Peter were together, da?" She shakes her head and looks back up at the rain pelting down across her face. "I would not change it. What has happened... For two months I was very happy." <br><br>Her arms come up as if she could fly, no longer spinning as she stands, mud sucking delicately at her bare feet as the ground becomes soft and maliable to her slight weight. "And maybe one day I will be again. I am hoping so..." It's quiet, sullen, but honest. "If it is not for her, I am never knowing this.. the first time is always the hardest and I do not want to forget it.. but I do not want her to be punished for trying to be happy herself. That is not what love is meaning. Love is meaning that I want her happiness, even if it is not with me." <br><br>"And I love her very much." <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>Doug reaches out for Illyana's hand. "Storms end. The sun rises. We see the people we love as they are, good and evil... all their scars.". the techno-organic hand is smooth and warm. "And we live for them... and for ourselves. You will love again, in your own time, in you own way... and it will be a gift for whoever earns that faith and trust."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>Illyana glances down from the stormy heavens to the techno-organic hand gripping hers. It's not a threatening stare, as some might often be, but an easy one.. probably no less creepy to anyone other than Doug, though. Her hand turns over so his grip is loosed from her wrist and she slides her finger into the golden, circuit like fingers, and looks back up at the sky pouring rain down upon them. "Da, I know." She says with a smile. "I am very awesome." <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>Doug Ramsey says, "And you know what, beautiful...". Doug throws his head back, shakes the water out of his hair, and laughs. "So am I!""<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>"Da." Illyana continues to hold Doug's hand, staring up at the rain, the other out and slightly back as if she could fly through those drops. "We are both very awesome!" She actually shouts! Illyana Rasputin.. She shouted. <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>And we should go inside and watch movies before I get pneumonia!" Doug says, with enthusiasm. "Come on, let me introduce you to an old TV show called Movie Macabre, and its hostess, the Mistress of the Dark. You'll love it.". He tugs Illyana toward the house, gently. " Bad horror movies are one of life's most rarefied pleasures. "<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>Illyana settles and then nods agreement, "This is bad, da? This that you say? Pneumonia?" Pointing at Doug as she's led towards the house, "DA! yes, I love these old horror movies. I am seeing many of them..." It was at the apartment, which is kind of sad to her obviously, but the thought of watching some now is less so. "Perhaps they will showing It came from Planet 9. I very much like this film." <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>"Oh, wait'll you see The Wasp Woman, and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!". Doug trails off as they walk back into the house. "Return of the Living Dead, Demonic Toys..."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>"I love Return of the Living Dead." Illyana says in a voice that could be mistaken for glee, "Wait, let me show you..." Tugging him to a stop, she rolls her eyes back in her head for a second, then looks at him fully with roving pale-blue eyes. When she speaks, her voice is hauntingly distant, echoing, "The pain of beeing deeaad... I can feel myself rooootting..." She breaks into a wide grin, "Is spot on, da?" <br> <br>

:'''{{#var:1126|Doug Ramsey (1126)}} has posed:'''<br>"Send... more... cops!". Doug slurs, before he breaks into a wide grin. "I AM technically a zombie. Just, you know... cute zombie. Witty, good at trivia zombie. Who asks before he gnaws on people, usually.". He holds the door open. " After you. "<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:145|Illyana Rasputin (145)}} has posed:'''<br>"Send... more.... paramedics." Illyana even duplicates the haunting tone, if far less baratone, as they slip in out of the rain, "I am having seen all of zombie movies, Doug.. your trivia knowledge pales in comparison. I am QUEEN OF LIMBO! Infinite cosmic powers I am having... wasted on petty knowledges of movies.." If nothing, at all, she clearly seems to feel better. At least for now. <br> <br>
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