1054/I Swear, You'd Better Not Tell Me THIS Is the Justice League

I Swear, You'd Better Not Tell Me THIS Is the Justice League
Date of Scene:	20 June 2017
Location:	Downtown, New Troy
Synopsis:	Booster Gold and Blue Beetle set up a 'signing' event that's "coincidentally" outside the Hall of Justice. Hilarity ensues. Spoilers: Blue Beetle got more action than Booster Gold.
Cast of Characters:	Blue Beetle (Kord), Booster Gold, 342

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Blue Beetle (Kord) has posed:
It's a gloriously warm and sunny summer day in Metropolis. The sky is a brilliant blue. The sun is a gleaming gold.

Even better, a number of flyers, radio commercials, and Youtube ads have called attention to a SUPER SPECIAL EVENT at the Hall of Justice--a public signing session and meet & greet with the city's greatest heroes!

On the sidewalk just outside the legal property line for the estate, two costumed heroes unfold a card table and throw a cheap vinyl spread over it. One of the men--the bombastic Blue Beetle--drops a box of photographs of himself and his partner--the glorious Booster Gold--at one end of the table. At the other, a pile of headshots featuring Booster & Skeets awaits signatures.

The Beetle hangs along the long public-facing edge of the table a banner that reads 'SUPERBUDDIES!'.

There's a line growing along the sidewalk, too. After all, Metropolis' citizens tend to be huge fans of their protectors, and public events like this are rare!

However, as the two heroes set up shop, some of the people waiting near the front of the line murmur and gossip. "Who are these guys?" "Where's Superman?" "Gotta be roadies..." "How much is this gonna cost, again?" "I can't wait to get Wonder Woman's phone number!"

There's a bit of pushing and shoving but, so far, things are relatively violence-free.

A few of the patrons waiting in line, however, look like they could make trouble; a handful standing well over six feet in height and seem to be nearly as wide are wearing tent-sized overcoats despite the sun and heat, along with fedoras pulled low over their faces.

Booster Gold has posed:
"Hey, hey, calm down everyone, there's room for everyone!" Booster calls, holding his hands up. He lifts his hands to be seen, though as tall as he is, it's not like the big blue and gold half of the SUPERBUDDIES can't be easily spotted from a mile away. He's loud as hell, too, with Skeets hovering nearby and working as a mobile amplifier/recording studio.

"We've got all kinds of merchandise! Superbuddies pencil toppers! Superbuddies bookmarks! Here kid, have a Superbuddies sticker!" Booster tells a little kid, slapping a sticker on the back of the boy's phone.

"Gee, thanks Mister! Where's Superman?"

"...Okay, get lost, kid, there are others in line," Booster mutters, propelling the boy back in line. The big celebrity smile returns, and he flings a pile of Jolly Ranchers into the crowd with a high, arching lob. "Have some candy everyone, the SUPERBUDDIES are gonna start answering your questions as part of our YouTube Q&A any minute now?"

He leans sideways towards Ted, eyes shifting behind his visor, and speaks out the side of his mouth. "You're /sure/ we're off of League property, right?"

Panthro (342) has posed:
An extremely sharp business suit encounters the line, and the cat in the suit tilts his hat back just enough to ask a person in the line why they're blocking the sidewalk.

"I think they're selling Justice League merch," the young man answers. "They're wearing spandex and don't look stupid, so it's gotta be good, right?"

What is this 'spandex' the human is going on about?, Panthro wonders to himself. The word doesn't quite translate, but "clinging swimsuit material" is the implication, and clearly neither of them is wearing swimsuit material. One has advanced battle armor, a bit gaudy. Perhaps he's a general or a prince. The other is clearly an engineer. Panthro decides he wants to talk with the engineer. He gets into the line. Somewhere. For some reason, the people behind him don't complain too much when they get a better look, and he wonders at why these hairless apes are so congenial. Like Berbels but without the robot bits, the group mind, and the ability to create wonderful things in fast-time.

Blue Beetle (Kord) has posed:
"Uh, yeah, should be," Blue Beetle says, scratching the back of his masked head. "Just ... just don't lean your chair back very far. And for the love of science, BG, do /not/ scoot the chair back at /all/."

He offers a smile to a few children near the front of the line. However, unlike Booster, the Beetle's not so charismatic, and the children's mother (sitter? aunt? guardian?) cringes slightly. "Aren't you a little old for that Halloween costume, pal?" she asks in a snide tone.

"Funny, lady, funny," Beetle grumbles before screwing a large extension to the barrel of his gun. "Here you go, everyone!" he shouts. "Who wants some Beetle-themed /fidget spinners/?!?"

With a *POOOOM* of compressed air, two dozen blue plastic objects fly into the air, spinning wildly like a fun Frisbee-esque fad version of shrapnel. A few moments later they begin peppering the skulls of pedestrians, many of whom dive for cover under their purses, backpacks, or fellow citizens.

"Oh, God, why?!" several individuals scream.
"It hit me in the eyeball!" cries another. "Why do you hate me, Batman?"

Meanwhile, Beetle's made the gun disappear, his cheeks a deep red. "So, uh, who's ready for an /autograph/!?" he asks, holding up a pen as he shuffles behind the table.

"Umm ... I guess I am," a large man with a ponytail says. "But I've got to say. So far, this is the worst. signing. ever."

Booster Gold has posed:
"That... that TOTALLY WAS Batman, and we all saw him do it!" Booster shouts, pointing dramatically in the distance. "That prankster! Haha, it's all in good fun folks, these things just happen sometimes, please direct all complaints to the Justice League help line!"

"Ted this isn't going as well as I'd hoped," Booster says through a fixed grin. "I thought you said the merch was a sure thing?!"

"Hey, another autograph, BOOSTER GOLD is always happy to serve his admiring public! Where are my Booster Girls?" he inquires, shouting to be heard over the crowd.

No one shouts back at him. "...busy ... running my fan club, I see!" he says, trying to put a positive spin on it.

He spots Panthro lurking at the back of the pack, and frowns. "Hey Skeets, I didn't think there were anthropomorphs in Metropolis this timeframe?"

<<Yessir, there are! I believe that's Panthro, one of the Thundercats!>> says his zipping little drone, hovering near Booster's shoulder.

"Woah, hey, the Thundercats are here?" someone remarks-- and people start turning to look at Panthro with excitement. "Those guys are awesome!"

Panthro (342) has posed:
Uhhh, wait, what? How did the human prince see through my perfect business-suit disguise? The humans in line said nothing! Abort! Flee!! ... all thoughts that should be going through Panthro's head. Instead he's intrigued that the little robot knows who he is, and concludes that it sent the information to the golden one. He's guardedly optimistic, though his "wily" sense is beginning to tingle a bit. Still, positivity! And that the humans in line are responding positively as well. Lion-O will be gratified that the humans aren't //all// of the opinion that the Thundercats should be locked away as invaders.

He gives a hesitant finger-wiggling wave, and says, "Hello?" as people make noises that aren't hostile. Yet.

Blue Beetle (Kord) has posed:
"Panthro?!" Beetle says excitedly. "No foolin'? Hey, everybody! Check it out! We've got one /hep cat/ here!" he adds, grinning. "Huh? Huh?"

No one seems to appreciate the joke. Beetle's smile fades.

Just then, a new opportunity presents itself.

"Did someone say 'Booster girls'?" an older, heavyset woman asks, wearing a Booster Gold t-shirt that's well-worn and stretched thin over her frame, like too much butter on bread.

"I was hoping for a smoochie-roochie, my golden guardian," she coos, blinking a number of times.

"$5 and he's yours for the night," Beetle suddenly interjects.

"Here's $20," the woman responds, throwing a crumpled-up bill at the world's worst wingman.

Meanwhile, Beetle's pile of photos and relevant merchandise is markedly larger than Booster's, as the crowd seems overwhelmingly to prefer the Gold to the Blue.

"Hey, come on, folks! Step on up! Who /doesn't/ want their own Beetle Buddy? It's a robotic beetle toy that looks incredibly realistic!" He holds it out to a young child, who starts sobbing uncontrollably in fright. The child thrusts its face into the folds of its parent's jeans.

Beetle coughs. "Uh, why not take a balloon instead? This one's on the house." He hands a balloon sporting the two heroes' smiling faces to the parent.

"Hey, Panthro," Beetle calls. "You bring any swag? Come on up here, champ! Put your paw-print on something!"

Panthro (342) has posed:
"Swag? No, I was visiting one of your local technology recycling stations for raw materials," Panthro says. By "technology recycling station" he means "junk stores" and "flea markets" since they're all congregated together in a single building ... but it's not near downtown.

"Swag. You're selling memorabilia. I'll trade you a ... paw print ... for one or two of your beetles, Engineer. Are they simple toys or do they have some of your actual technology in them?"

If they're just toys, Panthro has decided he'll use them to play with the Wilys. If they're advanced perhaps he can spend some of his Earthian moneys.

Booster Gold has posed:
"Wo-- he-- wa--" Booster stammers entirely too slowly as his buddy sells him out for twenty bucks. TWENTY BUCKS! The woman leers at him and makes with the grabby hands, and Booster starts backing away.

<<SIR! You're dangerously close to Justice League property!>>

Booster yelps and looks behind him. Fangirl... jail... fangirl... jail...

He sweats on the edge of decision.

"Panthro? PANTHRO! My good buddy!" Booster scrambles over the table, sending merch flying, and runs up to Panthro to shake a hand-- paw-- and help hustle the Thundercat towards the booth. "Skeets! Get over here, let's get a picture with Panthro, our good pal! C'mon Blue Beetle, get in on this, HEY EVERYONE! It's PANTHRO!" Booster says.

There's silence, and discreetly, Skeets emits a chorus of <Yeah! Woohoo!>> sounds. The crowd picks up a smattering of applause, and it gains momentum as things do.

"Panthro! So what brings you near League property? Are you just here to say hello to us here (at the) League (and) Superbuddies?" he inquires, doing everything he can to either move Panthro to the front of the booth, or move the center of attention to him.

Also he maneuvers to keep the Thundrecat between him and his ... date.

Blue Beetle (Kord) has posed:
"Well," Beetle says, rubbing his chin in thought as Panthro barters. "What do you think a paw print'll fetch among these fan types?"

"More than your stupid toy!" a nearby waiting 'fan' shouts, punctuated by others' laughter.

"Rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb..." the Blue Beetle mutters nigh-inaudibly, making a face before re-composing a polite smile.

"Sure thing, ol' buddy, a paw-print autograph for a /totally awesome/ Beetle toy." He offers the object to the Thundercat. "They /do/ have high-quality Kord Industries guts, though," Beetle adds quietly.

The toy, however, is launched into the air as Booster suddenly scrambles toward his companion. Beetle attempts to catch it.

At the same time, the Booster girl throws herself forward, lips-first.

Beetle is tackled, his face helplessly made out with by the older woman for a solid minute before she opens her eyes and discovers she's kissing the wrong hero.

In her anger, she begins kicking the inventor in the stomach. He protects a spot a little lower, just in case.

The durable Beetle toy bounces on the sidewalk and doesn't break.

"Hey," an approaching fan says, stepping forward, "can you make mine out to 'Ebay'?"

Panthro (342) has posed:
"I'm an alien panther-man, human, not a total newb," Panthro says to the obvious auctioneer. "I've already got an eBay account of my own. But I'll make it out to 'Lucky Bidder' if you want."

He grabs the beetle toy off the ground, wraps it in the color-splash handkerchief from his sharp business suit, and puts it in an inside pocket. He also takes business cards, because he wants to contact this //Kord// about this tech -- it seems pretty durable. It might be useful. AND, the Booster Booster is apparently trying to pummel the Beetle.

"Ma'am? I don't think that's supposed to bend that direction."

He fully expects the prince to come to the rescue of his engineer, but perhaps that's taking noblesse oblige too far -- the woman seems maddened. Perhaps she's been into the 'nip.

Booster Gold has posed:
Well, that won't do! Booster keeps mugging for the cameras, standing next to Panthro and making sure everyone can see him doing it. "Panthro, everyone, great guy, great... alien... pantherman!" he declares. "We're real glad you stopped by, the League sure respects you and the Superbuddies appreciate you joining us!"

"How about some fireworks to mark the occassion?" Booster asks-- and flings two plasma bolts skywards. They explode overhead in a glittering ball of red andd green and blue, drawing the eye upwards.

While everyone's distracted he leans behind Panthro and *zots* the fangirl in her rear with a low-power plasma burst. She screams, leaping around and swatting at her pants afire.

Booster shoots past Panthro with all the skill of a professional athlete, scooping Beetle off the ground.

"We're in over our heads here, Ted. Cheese it!" he remarks, propelling Ted towards the table full of merchandise. "Grab what you can and beat feet!"

Blue Beetle (Kord) has posed:
Blue Beetle spreads his arms as he's suddenly thrown toward the table of stuff, and he scoops up as much as he can as he slides across its top and then falls onto the ground.

The hero leaps to his feet, grasping boxes of photos, toys, and assorted plastic crap, and then he takes off down the sidewalk.

The fans suddenly break their polite queueing and turn into a localized riot, clamoring for 'stuff' in all its forms. They play tug-of-war with Booster Gold towels, scribble phony autographs on headshots and snap pictures of the retreating heroes, and throw Skeets-shaped pencil toppers at passing traffic.

The Booster girl, once her pants are no longer aflame, reaches futilely toward the departing Booster Gold. She falls to her knees and throws her arms up in the air, screaming in rage and heartbreak.

Panthro (342) has posed:
"Wow. So ... that's Booster Gold and the Blue Beetle," Panthro muses, picking up a few more beetles as they happen to be at his feet. He finishes signing the "pawprint" for the singular fan who actually asked, and then ambles away from the crowd. It's the power of the business suit. It says 'do not mess with me'. Nothing to do with being nearly seven feet tall and being a humanoid cat.

"Taxi!" yeah, good thing there are actual taxis here near the Hall of Justice.