1662/Mister Kord's Wild Ride

Mister Kord's Wild Ride
Date of Scene:	26 July 2017
Location:	Jamaica, Queens
Synopsis:	Ted Kord attempts to unveil a new subway technology ... with catastrophic results. Luckily, Atlee is on hand to help mitigate the damage caused.
Cast of Characters:	Blue Beetle (Kord), Terra

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Blue Beetle (Kord) has posed:
"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the incredible unveiling of the world's first SUBWAYPEDE!"

The Blue Beetle, in costume with a conductor's hat on his head, shouts over the megaphone from a platform near the front of the vehicle.

That vehicle? A sleek subway car outfitted with, rather than wheels, dozens of robotic legs.

"Yes, here we stand, in the 'innards' of a giant insect, if you will," Beetle chuckles, to a crowd of people whose faces begin to fall, looking around. "A robo-insect, that is!"

He continues. "This subwaypede should make metro travel that much safer, easier, and quicker--as it can maneuver more smoothly through tunnels, including on the walls and ceiling."

"So," the Beetle says with a clap of his hands, "who's ready for a ride?"

The car's not quite packed, but those present applaud politely.

Meanwhile, off in the distance, there's a low rumble, like the sound of thunder from an approaching storm.

Atlee (1034) has posed:
    One of those who is in the crowd, and standing out, is a young woman wearing a black and white outfit, her violet eyes flicking over the Subwaypede with a faint frown. When she heard about this, she was a bit concerned...new vehicle travelling underground, in her experience, tend to drive through various subterranean peoples' living rooms...metaphorically speaking!

    So she's here to see what's going on, but hasn't had a chance to bring up her concerns with Ted as of yet, because...well, she's polite and doesn't want to interrupt his spiel.

    She is starting to shift a bit closer to him as it looks like he might stop talking for a bit while starting up the subwaypede, however. "Um...excuse me, Mr. Blue Beetle, sir..." she says slowly, then pauses as she hears the low rumbling.

    Oh, nutbunnies...that can't be something already, can it?

Blue Beetle (Kord) has posed:
"Let's get--it--STARTED!" shouts the Blue Beetle, and a Black Eyed Peas song ("My Humps") begins playing.

The hero can be seen muttering under his breath even as the subwaypede begins moving. "Not now, ma'am, not now, not now," he says dismissively, ignoring the young woman for a moment. The ride does in fact seem to be quite smooth, but the legs skittering along the tunnel make a sound that's probably best described as 'human nightmare fuel'. Those nearest the car's windows attempt to shift closer to the center.

Another rumble of thunder can be heard, a bit louder. Also, it seems to originate from below. Some sort of sewer department maintenance?

At the back of the car--which is outfitted with a porthole that looks far too anatomically detailed for public consumption--a pair of riders spot something burst up from the tunnel floor.

"Oh my god!" they shout in unison. "There's a giant ... bird beak?! ... trying to eat us!"

Atlee (1034) has posed:
    Terra mmphs, frowning as the dark-haired girl leans in, trying to meet your eyes with her violet ones. "B-But! Mr. Beetle, it's really important! there's something you should know about..." she continues, her voice a bit urgent, tapping his shoulder now!

    And then, the giant bird beaks come bursting out of the ground. "...that." she says with a sigh, as people start to panic a bit.

    "I'm pretty sure the Earlibeast thinks you resembles a deepwyrm, which they consider REALLY tasty, and, um...it's...totally going to try and eat us now?" she offers weakly, then draws herself up. "I will try to help! You just need to move! Like, really, really fast." she advises.

    Like she knows how to dodge giant subterranean bird beaks with a train!

    She starts moving to the back, trying to ignore the spincter-shaped port hole (oh, memories she would rather not recall!) and holds out her hands, reaching out into the earth to try and feel where the next strike is going to happen. And when the beak emerges, she promptly raises her hand, trying to smack the beak while it's visible with a big rock that rips out of the tunnel.

Blue Beetle (Kord) has posed:
"Kid, I don't know what you're--" the Beetle begins, but abruptly stops when chunks of tunnel explode up into the air in /front/ of the subwaypede and cause the beak to withdraw..

"AW, NUTS!" the hero/pilot shouts, spinning the subwaypede into a spiral that brings out over and around the hole as the beak recedes.

The passengers all tumble about in the air for a long moment, and then they're suddenly restrained by automatic seatbelt webs that keep them from smashing against the ceiling and walls of the car.

"So how do we stop these things? I don't have access or branding rights to giant mecha-cats, you know!" Blue Beetle shouts, looking around for the informed woman. "All I've got are these ... /pincers of power/ that are meant to help with debris cleanup!"

A giant pair of razor-sharp pincers begin snapping at the subwaypede's head. Another beak appears, and the pincers snap at it--and promptly break on the beak's much stronger surface.

"Well ... crap."

Atlee (1034) has posed:
    The girl makes a shoving motion downwards with both hands as a large boulder drops down to smack into the point of the second beak. "Oh, there's a nest of them! That's wonderful, they're so endangered!" Terra says happily, for a moment totally oblivious to the danger. That catches up after a moment. "Oh...oh, they'll be....reeeeeally hungry then." she says, her eyes widening. "Um...if you try to snap at the beaks, it might make them pull back? Their noses are a bit sensitive down near the bottom by the nostrils!"

    She swings a hand as another boulder rips out, knocking another jabbing beak off course as it narrowly misses the vehicle. "I mean, you wouldn't BELIEVE what it's like when they get clogged up, it makes them really ornery..."

Atlee (1034) has posed:
    The girl makes a shoving motion downwards with both hands as a large boulder drops down to smack into the point of the second beak. "Oh, there's a nest of them! That's wonderful, they're so endangered!" Terra says happily, for a moment totally oblivious to the danger.

    That catches up after a moment. "Oh...oh, they'll be....reeeeeally hungry then." she says, her eyes widening. "Um...if you try to snap at the beaks, it might make them pull back? Their noses are a bit sensitive down near the bottom by the nostrils when you..!" She stares at the pinchers breaking off. "perhaps if we got back up on the surface?" she says hopfully.

    She swings a hand as another boulder rips out, knocking another jabbing beak off course as it narrowly misses the vehicle. "I mean, you wouldn't BELIEVE what it's like when they get clogged up, it makes them really ornery..."

Blue Beetle (Kord) has posed:
"Oh, yeah! /They're/ so endangered!" Blue Beetle replies, performing a series of ballet-esque maneuvers in an attempt to pilot the subwaypede deftly through the tunnel.

"What do they eat? he asks, eyes wide. "I don't suppose you have, like, a bag of holding full of underground-bird seed on you?" He shakes his head and sighs. "If I had a nickel for every time I've asked that question..."

Meanwhile, near one of the car windows, a young child tosses a chocolate bar. The window is closed and the chocolate makes a *splat* sound against the glass.

"Who'd have thought this trip would be so scenic?" the Beetle asks as the subwaypede spirals about again across the tunnel ceiling.

Up ahead, there's a fork in the path. "Which one to take which one to take which one to take ... uh ... LEFT!" the pilot screams. "I just want to /live/!"

Atlee (1034) has posed:
    Atlee lets out a squeak as down abruptly becomes up, falling on the ceiling, then rolling down the wall, blinking dazedly from the floor. "Ow." she notes, then peers backwards and upside at you. "Fork? Wait, that's....left? Nonono, wait, not LEFT! That tunnel is still partially collapsed from the last Hulk fight!" she says, scrambling to her feet, then erking as another beak skids along the side of the subwaypeded as she tries to keep her balance

TShe then notices the chocolate. "Oh! Maybe if I throw a little food mixed with some rubble down their beaks, they'll think they've got a bite of something and pull back!" She moves to peel the chocolate bar off, then floats a piece of rock through the new rent in the side, putting the chocolate on it. "Okay, so, you'll need to lead it a bit so I know where it's going to come up..." she says determinedly, floating the rock out in front of the speeding craft. "Also they miiiight be able to get into the tunnel up ahead, I don't remember how big the holes were!"

Blue Beetle (Kord) has posed:
With a frantic nod, the Blue Beetle flips a switch and the subwaypede's rear window opens up. "That hole can stay open for a while, but the safety pucker'll kick in after a minute--so be quick!"

The subwaypede scrambles over a pile of rubble and through a tight squeeze back toward a portion of uncollapsed tunnel. "Luckily this thing'll handle uneven terrain," Beetle calls over the intercom. "Let's just hope it doesn't get much more uneven, right?"

The passengers vocalize varying levels of support, disdain, and terror.

As Terra mentions the possibility of the birds entering the tunnel, Blue Beetle swallows a lump in his throat. "On second thought, maybe more uneven and narrower might be better..."

Atlee (1034) has posed:
    The young geokinetic nods firmly, heading to the back as she lowers the stone until its scraping against the ground. "C'mon...heeeeere little Earlibird..." She hopes it's a litle one, as they can get quite big, anyway! She braces self with a hand on the window, then when the next beak surfaces hurls it down the bird's throat. There's a clacking noise as it devours it, chirping as it disappears from sight.

     "Does anyone else have any food on the?" she says, looking at the other passengers. 'I'll need as much as we can find if it's a whole clutch of them!"

    Meanwhile, up ahead, the tunnel starts to show noticeable cracks and at least one makeshift patch in the ceiling, with sections of it having collapses, or even holes that have opened up in the floors and walls. As you're driving past one, you can suddenly see a very large yellow eye with a red pupil staring balefully at the subwaypeded.

    That is one ANGRY bird.

    It tries to headbutt its way against the whole, trying to make it larger as it snaps at the vehicle from the side.

Blue Beetle (Kord) has posed:
The Blue Beetle continues his acrobatic piloting. "Note to self," he says, sweat dripping from his chin, "subwaypede drivers will /have/ to be in excellent health..."

The scrambling vehicle nears one of the larger cracks.

"Okay," the Beetle says, "everyone get limp! We're going to get /real/ cozy here..."

Suddenly, the subwaypede turns back on itself, stretching into the tunnel even as it flattens somewhat, allowing for the car to reverse its course without going into a reverse gear.

The vehicle's sectioning plates creak and hiss to allow the change in space, and the skittering sound of clattering legs makes it sound like an army of demonic insects is stampeding nearby.

"This was never properly testeeeeddddddd...!" cries the Beetle, his eyes squeezed shut for a moment.

Atlee (1034) has posed:
    As the vehicle turns sharply back on itself, it's just in time to miss being speared by the Earlibird pacing alongside the tunnel as its head comes partway into the tunnel to snap furiously at it, before pulling back out.

    Terra erks as she wobbles, turning a little green at all the sudden directional changes, but valiantly continues her efforts to pretty much grab up alllll the snacks from the tourists aboard, starting to load up rock lures and tossing them into Earlibird maws as quickly as she can. "I think it's working! We're lucky the mother isn't here, they're much bigger and..."

    The ground quakes, before a beak the size of the train sheers through the wall a bit ahead of where you're going.

    "...why do I SAY things like that!?!" the heroine yelps. "Okay, new plan, um...run away REALLY FAST!
    

Blue Beetle (Kord) has posed:
"You heard the lady, everybody--next stop is the end of the line!" The directions ring out across the intercom, albeit with an appropriate amount of static-y garbling.

Blue Beetle tugs back on the subwaypede's controls and the subterranean insect-transport launches itself straight up and into the ceiling, the shattered pincers still capable of chewing through concrete and brick.

The vehicle scrambles through a hole just big enough for the insect ride, and moments later it bursts up into the middle of an intersection.

Sitting out in front of a barber shop nearby, three older men shake their heads.
"Now that's something you don't see every day!" exclaims one.
"You live in New York, you gonna see this sort of thing every day," replies a second.
"I never seen no giant insect come out of the ground," says the first.
"That ... what's his name ... Spider-Man. He's a giant insect. He came by swinging from the roofs a few weeks ago," interjects the third.
"That wasn't from the ground, though. And he weren't no giant," says the first.

Meanwhile, subwaypede passengers do their best to evacuate the vehicle in a quick and not-very-orderly fashion, running to nearby buildings, buses, and taxis.

Atlee (1034) has posed:
    The young heroine hangs on for dear life as the 'pede suddenly goes vertical, letting out an 'oof' as it comes down in the intersection, moving out into it as cars squeal to a halt and horns start honking. Because it's New York.
    She quickly moves to the back of the craft, leaning out to hold out her hands, as the ground shakes a little, the rubble, rock, and asphalt flowing together to seal over the hole. She whews. "Okay, they shouldn't be able to sense the vibrations all the way up here with the EEK!"

    The last comes as the spincter irises partway closed, pinning Terra halfway in and out as she flails a bit, trying to wiggle free. "Little...help?" she squeaks, kicking as she tries vainly to get any sort of leverage to try and either push through or pull back...no, on second though, she realizes after the last lecture about changing costumes in public, that would probably be a poor idea, consider her uniform design...

Blue Beetle (Kord) has posed:
"I'll help!" Beetle calls, running to the back of the car. Taking hold of Terra's legs, the man attempts to shove her through the hole.

"You've got to push! And breathe!" he says, face turning red. "Show this thing who's boss!"

The portal, meanwhile, isn't budging.

"Did you have a big breakfast or something this morning?" Blue Beetle asks, huffing and straining.

Atlee (1034) has posed:
    The girl isn't helping much by kicking a little bit as you grab hold of her legs. "I have...a very...busy..ungh...lifestyle, I need those carbs!" she shoots back, sounding aggrieved, as she plants her hands to either side and pushes, trying to help, then exhales, trying to reduce the diameter as much as she can.

Blue Beetle (Kord) has posed:
Inch ... by inch ... and then, somehow, all at once the portal allows Terra to slide out.

For his part, Blue Beetle is on the floor inside the subwaypede, clutching his nose--which had been struck by a flailing leg.

"Dab's gobba be doh dore," he groans.

A moment later, an automated message plays on the vehicle intercom: "Thank you for riding Subwaypede! Please make sure to give us five stars on Yelp!"

Atlee (1034) has posed:
    There's a squeak as Terra's hips finally escape the grasp of the subwaypede's posterior, landing with an 'oof' outside, before she sits up, rubbing her waist with a frown. "...I do not eat too much for breakfast..." she mutters, flushing a bit, before she picks herself up to peer back inside. "Mr. Beetle? Are you okay?"

    She moves around to one of the open doors to hop back inside, heading over to you. "Thank you for getting me free..."

Blue Beetle (Kord) has posed:
Stumbling out of the subwaypede in a motion that looks like nothing so much as the end of a-ha's "Take On Me" music video, the Blue Beetle drips blood onto the center of the intersection.

While horns honk all around him, with many cars attempting to carve their own routes around this traffic fiasco, the hero blinks and tries to wave at the "adoring" fans. He ends up flicking blood at a bunch of people and windshields.

"I'b oday," he replies to Terra. "Gobba phode for Dabage Gombrol?"

Even as he asks, of course, the sounds of helicopters--and sirens--can be heard approaching.

"Yay..." he says, sarcastically, with a heavy sigh.

Atlee (1034) has posed:
    The young geokinetic ums. "...who?" she says uncertainly. "If you need help, I can...ah...' She raises her hands, curling her fingers, before the ground trembles a bit, the asphalt swirling then washing out in a slow wave as the 'pede is pushed to the side with great shrieking of metal grinding against the ground, until it's pushed more or less off the street, leaning on its side next to the line of parked cars there.

    There! That should keep it out of the - " And then it tips over, squashing the line of cars with an expensive sounding 'CRUNCH'.

    Terra winces. "Um...oops....sorry?" she says sheepishly.

Blue Beetle (Kord) has posed:
The bleeding hero cringes as the subwaypede crushes multiple cars.

He slowly opens one eye to peek at the damage, his shoulders slumping.

"Dab's ... nob good," he mutters. "Bub ... ib gould be worsd."

Then, the subwaypede catches fire.

"I hade my libe." He sighs again and looks at Terra. "Bleasd dohb helb eddy more."

Atlee (1034) has posed:
    Terra rubs the back of her neck, toeing at a loose rock on the ground. "Um, okay." she says, then steps up close to you. "Don't feel bad though! You saved all those people, it could have been much worse without you there!" she says, then slides her arms around you, giving you a comforting hug! And a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you."

Blue Beetle (Kord) has posed:
"Waid, waid!" the Beetle cries in protest.

He pauses a beat. "Leb me gedd a bigshure. Boosder will be doh jealubb."

The Beetle pulls out his phone for a selfie with Terra. He smiles while blood streams down his face.

"Nebber mide whad I dedd earlier--I lub my libe!"

Atlee (1034) has posed:
    Terra blinks her violet eyes cutely, halting, then ahs, then gives the camera a thumbs up, still snuggling into your side as she beams at the camera, giving you a second kiss on the cheek! Seeming quite happy to do it twice, for that matter. Hugs are best!

    That and she's immediately happier hearing Ted less dour about life in general.

Blue Beetle (Kord) has posed:
"Day..." Beetle says, glancing at Terra from the corner of his eye, "you imberedded ib a lugrabibb gareer obburbuudibby?" He offers a salesman's grin stained with nose blood.

"We bay eggsdelleb ... gebberoudly ... gombarabbibly ..." He pauses. "Id's a libbing, ad leasd."

"Thing aboud id."

The Beetle procures a small business card that reads:

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SUPERBUDDIES

* Daring doers of heroic derring-do!
* Most inclusive super-team in the tri-state area!
* America's sweethearts!
* We validate parking!(*)

Call 555-555-5555 or email recruiting@k00lsuperbuds417.biz

(*) Validation not provided M-F

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Atlee (1034) has posed:
    Terra takes the card curiously, looking slightly confused as she tries to figure out what you're saying. But she does read it, and then tucks it safely down her cleavage....as she doesn't have pockets in this outfit, really.

    "Thank you very much, I will consider it!" she says seriously, tucking some of her short black hair behind an ear absently as she smiles at you. "I'm happy I could help today. But I should go back down and make sure the clutch is encouraged to be deeper down...people don't react well to such creatures when they come up on the surface." She smiles cheerfully at you. "It's been nice to meet you Mr. Beetle!"

    There's a rumble as a neat circle of asphalt around her peels back as she steps down onto the dirt and rock below, then descends like she's on an elevator, waving the whole way, until the hole closes up above her again.