2994/SHIELD Maidens Now Recruiting

SHIELD Maidens Now Recruiting
Date of Scene:	28 October 2017
Location:	Triskelion, New York City
Synopsis:	In which Tazer Queen recruits Shit Code 404 and Total May-hem 86, plans are made for Father Furious Time and the Hawkeye'd Ref and Captain American Penis Code to join up, and it's made clear that only Natasha will derby name Natasha. Or this is way we rarely let Darcy out of her office.
Cast of Characters:	Darcy Lewis, Quake, Melinda May

---

Darcy Lewis has posed:
PT sucked.

The only thing that made it suck way less was when Darcy got to put wheels on her feet. Which means now that PT is over, Darcy's rolling down the halls from the gym toward the mess hall for some foodthings.

PT is best when she gets to wear what SHE wants as workout clothes instead of the lame SHIELD sweats. SPorts bra, torn fishnets, and tattered pleated school girl mini skirt it is! Happy Derby Darcy is Happy.

Quake has posed:
Skye is.. well, she's doing what she's been doing for well over a week now. Their systems are back on line, but what good is it having a hacker of her nature without letting said hacker find holes and plug them. At this point, Skye's embraced the fact that once they take a shot at Hydra, her cover here is blown, so, while she's being careful, she's also not as antsy about leaving her hallmark behind in SHIELD's systems.
    The break room remains her favoured place to settle down and do business. Though, if only a nod to everyone else, she has a sandwich on a plate within striking distance, a singular bite take out of it. The every present cold coffee at her side. Only three candy-bar wrappers on the floor around her.

She's lost in thought... Or was. The rolling down the hallway gets a scowl.

"Really? Really? That's what we do now? /You could at least close the door if you're going to be annoying like that!/" She lifts her voice with that last, making certain it carries into the hallway, and to the skater - not yet aware it's Darcy. She might actually have let it go if she'd known... then again, it is Skye. It's equally likely she'd have said it anyway.

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"Fuck yes, this is what we do now," Darcy shouts back. Gone only a few moments, Darcy rolls back in, backwards, tray of food balanced on her hand like a damn carhop. An elegant spin that flounces her skirt, and Darcy rolls right up to Skye's table, plops down her tray and settles into a chair where she can see the screens, moving far more naturally on wheels than she did on the elevator heels. She's about as tall in heels as she is on skates.

"Whacha dooooooooooin'?" she says in an Isabella voice while ripping off her wrist braces.

Quake has posed:
Skye rolls her eyes. "Figures it would be you." Her tones are acidic, but she can't help the tiny upturn of the corners of her lips. Whether she likes it or not, Skye is amused. And more than a little bit, too.

"What the fuck do you think I'm doing," she returns, fully into amused now, lips twisted into a moue of amusement. Eyes gleaming. "More than you. Fury know you've turned the Trisk into a roller rink?"

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"Of course it's be me. WHo the fuck else would it be? Cap's ass aint good enough for this skirt," Darcy comments, smirking as she starts to tuck into her food.

"You're hacking into Nelnet and setting all my student loans to zero balances as a thank you for saving your life by making you eat," Darcy replies sagely... around a mouth full of food.

"The Trisk? Nah. Lobby aint big enough and Nat as a jammer would be fucking lethal as hell."

Quake has posed:
Skye shrugs, and without missing a beat, offers, "I don't know, I've seen Cap's ass in action. I'd tap that." She can't help another little girl. "Say, get up and turn around a few times. Let me compare the two."

That moue of amusement remains upon her lips. "Why Darcy Lewis, are you suggesting that I do something utterly illegal and frowned upon. Colour me shocked." She even gives a tiny, mock-gasp. Though that last has her laughing. "Oh, god, Nat as a jammer? They're the ones get in the way, right? Fuck, I can see her making constipated face, getting right in there."

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"Fuck. Me too. Climbable," Darcy retorts, grinning. Asked to do a twirl, Darcy obliges, getting up and skillfully twirling her skirt up. Plopping back into her seat, rolling her eyes before looking pained at Skye's comment.

"No. Blockers get in the way. Jammers score on everything."

Quake has posed:
The twirl gets a non-committal shrug. "Enh, 7 out of 10. But to be honest, I'm mostly into boys, so that's a pretty decent score." The pained look gets a roll of eyes. "At least I know what roller derby is? Do I /look/ like someone who excelled in gym class? Give me a break."

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"I'll take a seven from a straight girl," Darcy replies, smiling and tucking into another bite. Asked about what she looks like, Darcy leans back to give Skye an appraising twice over.

"Hmm... true, but then neither was I when I started. Fucking hated gym. Faked a doctor's note to get exempted from having to take PE for graduation. You've got the body for playing Swing."

Quake has posed:
There's a snort from Skye. "I ran away. Lived on the streets. Became a legend in my own time. You don't get a body like this doing pushups." She grins, as she's toned up considerably since being made to join SHIELD.

Skye's attention drifts from her main screen back to Darcy. "Swing. That's that dance thing, right? Get thrown around in the air and flipped about like a ragdoll?" A brow arches delicately. "And don't get too excited about the straight girl vote. That last two points were pity points."

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"No. That's playing both positions, thing," Darcy answers, grinning before pouting.

"Well, fuck. Do I need to show you my tits to make them not pity points?"

Quake has posed:
There's an 'oh' of understanding from Skye. "You're still talking that roller derby thing. Swing, huh? What, my bony elbows going to frighten the opposition? Besides, don't know how to roll, so you're out of luck, even if you could get Nat to join your team." She looks thoughtful for a moment. "Hell, if you could get her to, I'd join. Just to see that go down.."

And then she's laughing, all piss and vinegar as she retorts, "They better be some mighty fine tits for two points."

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"I'll get on that.... by maknig Clint convince her by lettng him know it'd be Nat in torn fishnets and short skirts kicking ass in ways she doesn't already kick ass. Fool proof plan. Requistion some skates. May's our team Momma and will be calling our plays. Fury's Father Time, and Steve's penalty Mistress, because I want him to paddle for me being naughty," Darcy declares, before planting her hands on her hips and puffing her chest up.

"There are so very few perfect breasts in this world; I am also known as The Chest. My tits are fucking amazing." declares Darcy, with no shame, no regret, and no humility about her bust.

Quake has posed:
Skye sits back and lets the diatribe on just how Darcy plans on getting Nat into roller derby roll on past her. "Holy shit, I mean, I think you're nuts, but damn, I'd pay to see that." For more reasons than one.

She shakes her head, and taps a few keys, actually closing the lid to her laptop after that, and grabbing up her sandwich. Without prompting. It's a miracle! "So.. you're telling me those tits of yours are that famous, huh? Like stop traffic wonderful? Convert whole fathoms of right-wing, puritanical women into lesbianism magnificent? What the fuck do you smoke, and can I have some?"

Though she can't help asking, "Okay, I'm going to regret this, but who would I be?"

Darcy Lewis has posed:
Darcy just grins. Because the plan is crazy enough to work. She knows this. It is just a matter of time.

"Hell yes. My tits are the fucking cat's meow. No drugs required," Darcy replies before the grin turns completely mischeivous.

"You'd be my number two blocker.... cause you'd be The Shit!" ahhahahahaha! Darcy slays herself.

Quake has posed:
"You know you can't just say things like that about your chest and not back it up, right?" Skye's tones are utterly dry and serious. Like she isn't just suggesting Darcy follow-up on the threat/offer to show the girls off. "And thought you said I'd be Swing? What's this blocker business?"

Her proposed nick gets a snort. "Tits and the Shit?"

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"Swing does both, fucking duh," Darcy replies, as if this were common knowledge. Of course, this is said as she's reaching for the zipper front of the sports bra she's wearing. it's well known the Darcy doesn't have a lot of expendible income, but what she does have she spends on skate gear and the best over the shoulder boulder holders she can get her hands on. This brassier? less than ten degrees of bounce. With the mass ofher ta-tas, that is a fucking 34th Street Miracle.

Down comes the zipper, showing that Darcy has zero quals about backing up her statement about her chest.

Quake has posed:
Without missing a beat, Skye throws up an arm, wailing, "My eyes! My eyes! I'm blind. Oh my god, they're horrible. I'll never see again!" It all would be much better if she sounded even the slightest bit sincere about her complaint. Apparently bare naked ladies don't bother her, though, as she takes another bite of her sandwich and observes, "You get one and a half points out of the two pity points back. I'm taking half a point for that duh."

Melinda May has posed:
May appears with tray of food in hand -- looks like soup -- and says while claiming a seat near th two snarky young women, "Nat won't for for it. Not unless you up the stakes by making it banked track." After all, the chance of flinging someone off an incline at speed could very well be the single most tempt thing they could offer the redhead.

"And Lewis, you need to go speak with Blake in ops. She's built like a capital letter P."

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"Fuck. Not even extra for the girlie dangles on my hardware?" Darcy asks, flicking one little glittery rhinestone pink heart jewel before May sits without a comment on the bejeweled girls Darcy's got out on display. Girls whom now that they have received their points - and they were ROBBED!!! - get put back away for later.

"I could rock a bank track, fuck yeah. I hear fucking Gotham Girls are starting a banked team and their rivals Liberty Belles are hustling to follow suit. Calaveras been banked for years now," Darcy's saying, before grinning at May's suggestion.

"Aye, aye, Coach!"

Somehow, Darcy makes 'coach' sound a hundred times more happily, eagerly, respectful than anything official she's ever called May.

Quake has posed:
It's beat 'em or join 'em, and Skye picks join 'em. "Nice to see you, too, Agent May. Care to join the team?" She quirks a brow at her SO before turning back to Darcy. "Rhinestones? Really. Give me at least something semi-precious to gawk at and maybe I'd give you, oh, I don't know.. a quarter of a point for trying too hard, but thought you didn't like the pity vote."

Melinda May has posed:
May merely starts eating her soup while the other two continue to snark. It's like she's accustomed to eating around hyper chihuahuas or something.

"Coach I'll do. Or blocker. Team mom, never." And really, would they WANT May to be doing that? "Also, I am willing to bet money that Rogers would surprise you both."

Darcy Lewis has posed:
may was there for all that? And she's playing this cool? Fuck yes. Darcy smiles and resumes her meal, now nearly half done.

"So, Cap'll spank us?" Darcy asks, sounding far too eager about that. Of course, the day couldn't get better. May agreed to play blocker and/or coach! Team Mom just made her giggle.

Quake has posed:
Skye's eyes fair dance, and she can't keep the smirk from her lips, "And after the spankings?" But she can't keep from adding her laugh to Darcy's giggle. "Oh my god, can you picture Cap'n doing the nasty? He can't even swear. I bet it's all lights off all the time."

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"He's a fucking soldier from the goddamn forties who toured with the USO. I bet he's more than willing to pound a girl into a wall," Darcy retorts, continuing the Darcy vs Skye momentum.

Melinda May has posed:
May merely says in her usual Vulcanesque manner, "It's not my place to say anything." And yet, she's not stopping the other two from whatever wild and crazy speculations catch their fancy.

Mostly because this soup gets gross when it goes cold.

Quake has posed:
Skye tilts her head to one side, considering that scenario, "Oh to be that wall." She whistles soft and low, then smirks at Darcy, "Damn, girl. Marry me?"

While she waits for Darcy's answer, she takes another bite of her sandwich. She's nearly eaten half of it while the conversation has gone on. Major progress for Miss Works Too Much and Forgets to Eat.

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"Oh to be that girl between Cap pounding and Skye-wall," Darcy offers in exchange, gracing Skye with a wink.

"Hell yes. You can be my derby wife. I was widowed when my first wife retired permanently . But you have to get a non-shitty derby name," Darcy replies, pleased to note her ability to distract from work and into eating skills she perfected with a certain astrophysist are still strong.

Melinda May has posed:
May continues to keep her snark to herself. She's pretty sure these two would either demand more or be so horrified they'd flee squealing like six-year-olds shown a dead rat.

"I thought you wanted her derby name to be The Shit."

Quake has posed:
Skye points a finger at May. "What she said, Miss Sparkle Tits. You're the one gave me that literally shitty name. Besides, you forget one thing." She smiles sweetly, "I can't skate."

She takes a sip of her perpetually cold coffee and makes a face, near gagging, "Oh my gods, this is horrible What the hell?" Apparently cold coffee only tastes good when she's too absorbed in code to notice.

Melinda May has posed:
May points at the coffee. "And that is another reason why I prefer tea. When it goes cold, it still tastes like tea."

Darcy Lewis has posed:
"Tazer Queen, fuck, Wife! Get it right," Darcy grouces, grinning all the while. Her green eyes sparkle happily at the May snark. More May Snark must be had! But the moment Skye yucks over hte old cold coffee, Darcy gets smoothly to her wheels.

"That is why you are inhuman, Total May-hem," Darcy deadpans, snagging the cup from Skye's hands so she can roll smoothly backwards toward the sink to pour out rinse, and refill.

Quake has posed:
Skye rolls her eyes. "Tazer Queen. Sparkle Tits. I'm not seeing the difference. Maybe Glitter Butt, but you'd have to work at it.." When her mug is snagged, she protests, but not for long. She didn't really want the shitty tasting coffee. She only drank it cold because it was too annoying to get up and get hot while she was working. And it wasn't like she even noticed then.

"Tea is like pissing in water." Skye's opinion is given succinctly and with clarity. "Something you should only do in dire emergencies. Or at least not talk about it in public." Her lips roll around a crooked grin sent May's way. "Total May-hem. I like it. Maybe I'll be Code 404."

Melinda May has posed:
"And coffee is like drinking bong water filtered through charcoal." Despite the harsh-seeming words, May's inflections are completely unchanged. And, she's finishing her soup. "You realize, of course, you'll have to let Natasha choose her derby name for herself, right?"