5511/You're Bleeding All Over the Tower Again, Amarok.

You're Bleeding All Over the Tower Again, Amarok.
Date of Scene:	07 October 2018
Location:	Unknown
Synopsis:	Amarok finally reveals what's behind the mask, both figuratively and literally. Colette is slightly disappointed there was a lack of Darth Vader melty face.
Cast of Characters:	Amarok, Stardust

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Amarok has posed:
The sickly fresh smell of blood permeates the Tower's entryway, and infests the elevator, a noteworthy fingerprint sized smear decorating the button to the infirmary. Off in a corner of the sterile white medbay, rests Amarok, sat on a stool next to a medkit, his left gauntlet set next to that. His hand, caked with blood and gushing forth more virtually unchecked from a pair of holes straight through the palm and out the back. The other hand, still gauntleted, sifts through the medkit, picking out bits here and there and setting them aside for imminent use.

Stardust has posed:
There are many different skills and abilities that go to making a great super-hero. Above all, arguably, is being a great detective. Surely Batman proves that. Stardust has a few pretty potent abilities and even a skill or two, but she'd never claim to be the World's Greatest Detective. She wouldn't even claim to be the Room's Greatest Detective, and that's when she's standing in an otherwise empty room, eyebrow raised and staring at a line of bloody handprints crossing one wall.

    To be fair to Stardust, she's a little hard on herself. As she proved during the Red X affair, if not to herself, she's capable of following a chain of logic, has a decent amount of insight, and if she's overly reliant on the intuitive approach, she's actually not completely awful at the detective game. Certainly not bad enough to fail to figure out that a line of bloody handprints, drips and smears can be followed. Nor does that mixture of intuition and logic fail her in figuring out...

    "Moon Moon." Stardust stands in the doorway of the infirmary, arms crossed, foot tapping impatiently. "I thought as much. When I saw the trail of blood, I thought to myself, 'who around here just cannot resist the temptation to leave blood all over the Tower?', and I immediately thought of you. You know, I haven't been in this biz as long as you, but I have learned a few tricks of the super-heroing trade. One of those tricks is that red stuff? It goes on the inside. "

    Stardust does not offer her assistance. Which is not to say she might not agree to help if asked, but then she doesn't know much about field medicine, and Amarok has enough experience in patching himself up he could probably wing it as a professional paramedic.

Amarok has posed:
Amarok glances over at Colette as she makes her presence known, "....I'll be fine...." He says in his usual monotone way...but something's off. Something in his delivery sounds...tired, unfocused. And his light headbob backs this up, idly lulling as he shifts his weight, almost like he doesn't notice it. He reaches for a small brown bottle, uncaps it, and then pours it onto his open wounds, a clear liquid gushing out. Then a horrid burst of static, the hand clenching tight into a fist and pounding futiley against the counter a few times in competition with the hissing static, the liquid quickly bubbling into a foam.

Stardust has posed:
Colette watches Amarok's self-ministrations in silence for a few moments, then speaks again. "So, Moon Moon. How old are you?" The question seems to have little relevance to anything, but she leaves it hanging there a few moments before explaining herself. "See, I often wonder why you're a member of the team. I mean people have different reasons. They think maybe things will go smoother when they've got other people to work with. They think that super-heroing on your own is a lonely business and they want some company. They think that the sum of the parts is blah blah. They see the Titans as a group of young heroes learning together, and want in on that. With you? You never ask anyone else to help out. Your idea of socializing is making a non-commital grunt. You don't strategize other people's skills because you try to do everything yourself. So that leaves the last option. Only thing is, you always wear that mask. For all I know, you could be like seventy years old or something. So, what is it?"

    Colette straightens out, but doesn't step any further into the room. It's almost as if she wants to block the doorway in the hope she can actually wring some kind of answers out of Dan. "I mean clearly you got into some kind of fight, and sustained multiple fairly serious injuries. Maybe things would have gone smoother if you'd not been going off on your own?"

Amarok has posed:
Amarok pants through the obvious pain for a long few moments, then pushes himself back to sitting straight, a sharp burst of static breaks through the mask's speakers for just a moment, then rigidity and silence. A few seconds later, he relaxes and reaches for another bottle, "....I turned twenty one in March." He finaly says as he pours the next bottle's clear liquid, his hand once more tightening into a fist as it's rebathed. Thankfully no ear splitting shriek of static this time, ".....I was questioning a local crime lord-Gotham, local crime lord....Turns out the ones that bombed his house weren't just some up jumped hoods...." He pauses for a second, then glances back at Colette, "....I dont suppose you've ever heard of 'The Foot Clan', have you?"

Stardust has posed:
"The Foot Clan? Is it that new bar that opened... wait." Colette exhales. "Ninjas. I should have know. Ninjas always attract other ninjas. You guys are like magnets. No wait, magnets are the other way around, they repel each other. Yeah I heard of them. Fought a couple of Foot... Feet... How do you say that? I mean if it's actual feet, it's like singular is foot, plural is feet. So if there's more than one Foot Clan ninja, do you refer to them as Feet? Anyway, yeah. Followed a bunch into a sewer, about a year back. A couple of them attacked me. Real annoying, though that was the first time I ever fought a ninja. I'm better at ninjas now."

Amarok has posed:
Amarok shrugs a bit to Colette's questions, simply resuming treating his hand, "....Apparently, they've taken a sudden interest in Gotham. They've been moving in hard, killing any of the families that wont fold immediately...." He pulls out the needle and thread, and this is where things get to graphic to explain, but I'm sure I dont need to. Amarok's tone hardly wavers as the needle works, "The assassin in question was just some dumb kid. Wouldn't talk, so I left her at the GCPD....Knowing them, they probly let her go without question...." His already abnormally altered tone takes a bit of a bitter slant to it.

Stardust has posed:
"Well, I'd assume that ninja clan types don't tend to be too talkative in the best of circumstances," Colette replies. "I mean maybe you're coloring my view of ninjas, but I've spoken to rocks that are more chatty than you. So, now that you've discovered what's going on, you're going to talk to the team and discuss how better to deal with them? Like maybe some tactical approach that involves less blood being dragged through the building?"

    There's a short pause. "I'm pretty good with ninjas, you know. I mean that program you made. I've trained against those quite a lot. And I've got some experience with actual ninjas too. They tend to have a hard time with me. So, just putting it out there, you could be all team-y and get some help with this."

Amarok has posed:
Amarok pauses his self-sewing as Colette asks if he intends to have a big team meeting, and turns his blank mask at her for a few silent seconds, then turns back and resumes sewing. After her next round of wordage, he pauses again, this time staring straight ahead, "......Tell me....How stab-proof is your skin? How able to handle poisons are you? If forced to choose between my life, and accomplishing your mission, what would you do?"

Stardust has posed:
"Moon Moon." Colette looks at him long and hard under one raised brow. "I've been hit by missiles. If you stabbed me as hard as you could, your sword would break before my skin. As for poisons? I dunno, but again, hard to administer poison when bullets bounce off. You know what my biggest problem was when I fought those Feet before? I mean put it this way. If you're in a room with ten ninjas, what's your best tactic for defeating them? 'Cos mine is locking the door. It would take forever because I have no illusion they're way more skilled fighters than me, but eventually they lose. "

    Colette finally takes a couple of steps into the room. "Basically, unless they're enhanced or carrying heavy weaponry, you don't have to worry about me. If they're a bit enhanced, you also don't have to worry about me. I might have trouble beating the hell out of them, but less trouble than they'll have scratching me." She takes another step forwards, peering closely at Amarok's hand, and watching his needlework with a critical expression.

    "As for the second question. " She looks him in the eyes... well, the closest equivalent behind the mask. "I don't accept the choice. I punch whoever gives me the choice in the face, save you and finish the mission. But we're a team. You keep your team alive. Even apart from the whole that's what friends do thing, it's tactically sound. Better to lose one battle so you can win lots of battles in future." Did she just call Dan a friend?

Amarok has posed:
Amarok sits in silence for a few long moments, even stopping his needlworking. Eventually, when he does resume, he speaks quietly, even by his usual standards, "Poisons dont need injections, a simple gas can be easily arranged, even on short notice, and it can kill just as quickly....As for me....You dont always have the luxury of saving everyone and bringing the bad guys in at the same time, sometimes even trying will get even more people killed, believe me, I speak from experience..." He pauses again, slashing off the end of the thread with the needle and tying it tightly to the now closed wounds. He sets the bloodied needle aside and quickly wraps the hand with gause, tying that even tighter. The he stands up and looks Colette straight on, "....As for me....If it's my life, vs the lives of innocent people....Always choose them over me. My life doesn't matter."

Stardust has posed:
"The inhaling thing?" Colette gives a quick shrug. "Honestly, not clear on that. I haven't really got a straight answer. The voices in my head thing? They kind of have a tendency to bullshit me. " She frowns and looks away momentarily. "Uh... whatever. I mean I could always wear a face mask or something. To be sure. You want to know what else is bullshit?"

    Colette returns the look, straight on. "What you just said. I've never managed to figure out what the hell is going on in that messed up head of yours, but it's pretty obvious you've got some kind of redemption mission going on. And that 'your life doesn't matter' thing? Total, utter, bullshit. That's you making an excuse. Borderline deathwish stuff. Which I suspect if you were being honest, you'd admit. Because I think you know that. But here's why it's bullshit any way you look at it. You save lives. If you lose your life, you can't save more lives. That's basic. I mean if it comes down to saving the planet or whatever, I can understand the whole ultimate sacrifice crap. But in a fight with a crime gang? What about the next crime gang, and the one after that, and the one after that?"

Amarok has posed:
Amarok shrugs a bit, ".....I was born for a simple purpose. To rid the world of those unworthy to live in it. In that, I am an utter failure....But if I can turn the pain brought on the innocent back on their victimizers, my life is not yet a total waste....But sooner or later, I'll be to slow, to weak, to unskilled....Something will kill me sooner or later, I made my peace with that long ago.....My life doesn't matter..." He pauses, gauntleted hand reaching up and pressin a small panel on the side of his helmet in, the helmet letting off a small unlocking side, air depressurising, and then he reaches up...and removes the helmet. Showing a face just starting to pale from a deep tan, blonde hair, barely growing in from a sharp buzz, eyes blackened and sunken in from what must've been days without sleep...And the slightest hint of a smile, "....But I appreciate that you think otherwise...." The rough, droning monotone is gone, replaced by a soft, shy melody of a voice.

Stardust has posed:
Colette takes a step back as the mask unlocks. Visions of Darth Vader flash through her mind. However the face below seems... normal. Colette was totally expecting a horrible mass of scar tissue. Or an extra mouth in his forehead, or fourteen ears, or /something/.

    Colette is actually silent for a few moments, as she takes in his face. Poor Dan, he's finally found out how to shut her up, and it's something he can only use once. "So many questions. Like, why. I mean I was totally expecting fourteen ears or something, what are you hiding from? And how the hell do you have a tan? Do you have like a tanning lamp built into that thing or something?" She stops herself with a shake of the head, and takes a quick step forwards, pokes a finger gently at Amarok's forehead and then steps back again.

    "Okay, at least I know you're not seventy. Every life matters, Amarok. To some degree or other. If you save lives, if you make the world a better place, then your life matters. A lot. Certainly a lot more than the people who are bringing pain to the innocent, right? But you know, what it comes down to is this. Whatever you did in the past, that's not who you are now. So don't judge yourself on it. Make it right. Sure. That's a good aim in life. But life is a balance, and the longer you live, the more time you have to put more on the good side of the scales. Live as long as you can, and keep doing that."

    Giving a dubious little sniff, Colette takes a step back and crosses her arms again. "Besides. You're an annoying, anti-social pain in the ass who drips blood everywhere. But you're OUR annoying, anti-social pain in the ass who drips blood everwhere. And if someone kills you, I'll have to go kill them back. And that's messy. My uniform is white. Think about it."

Amarok has posed:
Amarok's human shell cocks an amused brow at Colette's befuddlement, "Well, what can I say? A decade in the middle east doesn't wear off easy." He half sits, half falls back onto his stool, setting the helmet aside as he does. His expression changes however when Colette mentions his past, a pained, wistufl look stretching over his features, growing ever more so as she brings up killing whoever fills him, "......Have you ever killed anyone before?...." He asks in a barely audible voice, his dull green eyes glancing up to match Colette's.

Stardust has posed:
Colette takes a seat too, on the edge of the supplies cart Dan's medical kit was on, shoving bandages and needles aside before she sits. She gives a little shrug of her shoulder. "Not sure. I mean I did stab someone with a sword, and then after they were stabbed, I yanked the sword up through their spine and split their head in two. So maybe? I mean yeah, I know that normally that would be a resounding yes. But Raijin was frying him with lightning, Brick was doing some kind of... I dunno what spooky Brick thing, and some other people were attacking him as well. So maybe he was already dead. But I intended to kill him. Tell you why? It was basically, here's a guy who is A, attacking my team mate, and B, about to destroy the last chance the planet had to survive the mushrooms. Easy choice."

    She leans back a bit, and repeats the shoulder shrug. "Don't feel bad about it. Feel weird about it, but don't feel bad about it. It was necessary. I'd avoid it if I could. But you know what? I'd do it again. And yes I know you've got the no killing thing. And Damian. And... and well... basically that's kind of super-hero 101. But sometimes you don't really have a choice. And I'm not going to feel guilty about that. If I... we... hadn't killed him, billions would have died. I'm... I guess you've killed in the past. And do feel guilty about it. Maybe you were killing someone for a much worse reason, I don't know. But if so? Then you know what, that means it's that much more important you don't recklessly go getting yourself killed. 'Cos you've got that other side of the scales to go putting good deeds onto, right?"

Amarok has posed:
Amarok leans back a bit as Colette sits down, and whether it be from the pain, the blood loss, or the old fashioned lack of sleep, he just looks exhausted, ".....It was our last job before heading home...Ten years in the desert sands, not one casualty.....We got careless....I was supposed to be scout ahead, and...I dunno, my eyes just...glazed over.....They tortured me for months, I'm still fuzzy on how long it was....Eventually, the cycle continues, the guard got careless, and I got free.....I killed every last one of them.....I didn't need to, they were stupid, lazy, and weak......" His vision focuses and he looks right into Colette's eyes, "....I killed them...Because I wanted to.......Nothing more, nothing less....To this day, I still see their faces everytime I close my eyes....And ya know what the funny part is?.....I dont know a single one of their names...."

Stardust has posed:
Colette nods her head and is silent in thought for a surprisingly long while before speaking. From the way her eyes dart to the side, it's possible she's consulting with those voices in her head, be they real or imaginary.

    "And you don't forgive yourself," Colette says finally. "Even though you were tortured, even though the way they acted was less than human, even though it was their evil actions that drove you to it, you don't forgive yourself. Because there was an alternative. If an animal is tortured, you wouldn't blame it for sinking its teeth into the torturer's neck, but because you are human and because you are capable of rational thought, you blame yourself." She nods her head, as affirming her own suggestion to herself. "So you make up for it. By saving other people from going through... what...? What you did to them, when they were in your power? Or from what they did to you, when you were in their power?"

Amarok has posed:
Amarok sighs a bit, slumping against the counter. He glances over at the medkit and sighs again, straightening up just enough to be able to start putting it back together, "....What I did can never be forgiven, /SHOULD/ never be forgiven....I am just one more monster stalking the night, spreading hate, fear, and pain wherever I go....My only hope is that I spread it to the other monsters. The people have to much to deal with already..."

Stardust has posed:
"Again, bullshit." Colette leans forwards, looking Amarok straight in the eyes. "You did something bad, so you conclude your a bad person. So you dedicate your life to punishing the people you think are monsters, because if you only punish yourself, that's only one monster that gets hurt. Here's the thing. If you were a monster, why would you be dedicating your life to punishing monsters?" She jabs her finger forwards for another forehead poke, again quite gently. "Use your brain. You focus on the pain you're causing instead of the pain and the innocent lives you're saving. Tell me. Those guys who tortured you, what would they have done if you'd just fled into the desert? Found some other sucker and tortured them. How many lives did you save when you did that? Oh, I know. That's not what you were thinking about. You wanted revenge. Well hey, you're not perfect, but that doesn't make you a monster, that's called being human. Welcome to the species."

    Colette hops to her feet, and paces. "You know what, Moon Moon? Stop thinking about the pain and fear you're spreading to the bad guys, think of the lives you save. Same process, different perspective. You want to redeem yourself, well sure. That's what you're doing. Monsters don't look at their actions and conclude they have to redeem themselves. That's what makes them monsters. You save lives. That makes you a good guy. And maybe you'll never forgive yourself, but the more lives you save, the more you put on the good side of the scales, the more you prove you're a good guy." She stops pacing, turns, and folds her eyes again. "You can't blame yourself for the actions you took when you're driven by torture. Not exactly your best day, and who's fault is that? The people who drove your mind to that place, not you. Make up for it, but make up for it by beating up the bad guys who pull off crap like that, not by beating up yourself."

Amarok has posed:
Amarok sighs a bit again as he finishes putting the medkit back together and slides it away, "....Maybe you're right....I dunno....." He says before shrugging it off, ".....Let's....Let's change the subject....I dont care to what...."

Stardust has posed:
Colette stares at him in silence for a few moments. "You need to learn the Titans mantra. Everyone needs to know the Titans mantra. Stardust is right. Stardust is always right. Listen to Stardust." She continues staring. She's probably half-joking, but only half. She looks thoughtful for a few moments, then nods her head to herself. "I forgive you. Maybe that doesn't mean much to you, but I've heard the bad, and I forgive you, even if you can't forgive yourself. Not because you were driven to it couldn't help yourself. Not because you're our goofy ninja buddy. Because you beat yourself up over it, and because you try to fix it. Because even if you're too dumb to realize it, you're a good guy now, and the world is a better place for having you in it. So...." She starts to count on her fingers.

"One, stop beating yourself up. Save it for the bad guys."

"Two, blood goes on the inside."

"Three, you have a team. You have ninjas to fight, get the team to help."

"Four, I checked the time, and it's officially pizza time. You can stay here and brood, or you can join me. Your call."

Amarok has posed:
Amarok gives a bit of a wry smile, "It is my duty to obey." He says in amused resignation, reaching over and grabbing his other gauntlet and helmet, "Sure, I could go for some food....Been a few days, I think.....Can uh...Can you lend me your shoulder? My legs are numb from bloodloss." He lets out a small chuckle at his own terrible state.