6072/Tough Choices

Tough Choices
Date of Scene:	30 December 2018
Location:	Xavier's School, Westchester, New York
Synopsis:	Betsy and Emma have a heart-to-heart that ends on a sour note.
Cast of Characters:	Psylocke, Emma Frost

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Psylocke has posed:
It's early evening at Xavier's. There are only a few students in residence at the moment due to the Holidays. For that reason, the kitchen is actually empty of all but one faculty member.

Betsy is leaning against the island in the middle of the kitchen, finger through the handle of a coffee cup, her other hand cradling the mug as she sips. No smell of coffeen. Instead she has a cup of tea which is her personal preference.

Her mind is going over and over things and she keeps coming to the same conclusion. She'd already talked to Peter about it and he supported her, whatever she might choose to do. It didn't make it any easier. She just wasn't sure it was the right choice. Her gaze seemed focused on a spot faraway as she sipped the warm beverage.

Emma Frost has posed:
The kitchen might not be where most would picture Emma Frost, and yet, there she is. Whether because she wishes coffee, or for other reasons, she wanders in, looking almost surprised that she's not alone at this hour.

Emma moves to the coffeemaker and pours herself a cup. "Betsy. I hope your holidays have been well?"

Psylocke has posed:
As Emma arrives, Betsy glances over in her direction. "Emma. They were quite wonderful. I got to spend time with my brother, who has recently moved to the states, along with Peter." Peter Parker who is a teacher's aide at the school and known as her fiance. "They used to be in college together so I got to hear a lot of stories I hadn't previously. What about yourself? Parties and jet setting or did you spend it here with the students?"

Emma Frost has posed:
Emma allows herself an almost smile. "How nice. I believe the students who remained behind found the holidays pleasant. And soon enough the New Year shall pass and we all shall be back to our normal routines."

She says it like she has no investment in any of this, even if she'd made certain there were treats and presents for all who had been left behind over the holidays.

She smiles faintly as she pours herself a coffee, "Ah, yes. You and Peter are an item. That's how they put it."

She finds herself a seat at the table and considers Betsy's question, especially in light of certain recent revelations. "I wish," she begins, "That my family did not consider my being a mutant were some sort of personal slight. It's difficult to forgive their attitudes, though I suppose undertandable. It does, however, make the holidays more difficult. The whole claptrap about family and joyous visitations."

Emma gives the slightest of shrugs.

"The students had a pleasant time. There were treats and presents."

Psylocke has posed:
"I see. There did seem to be more treats and presents than in previous years," Betsy muses as she watches Emma closely. She continues to cradle her cup up close to her chest then lifts it to sip carefully before speaking again. "More than the Professor generally supplies. I know that it was appreciated."

She doesn't press though. Let Emmma keep her little secret, or at least try to. Kind of difficult in a place like this where people have been around for years and will pick up on it. But she can be respectful. "Classes will be starting up soon." She considers a moment then glances to Emma. "Ever through about teaching English by chance?"

Emma Frost has posed:
Emma gives a nonchallant shrug. "It's difficult enough to be who and what we are. I'm in a position to mitigate that. Hardly a thing to broadcast from the rooftops."

Emma's smile is calm, and her expresion pleased.

"I know. I'm considered something of an ogre. I'm afraid I've few ideas how to change that opinion, but little matter. The students were pleased. Everyone had a good holiday, and yes, Betsy, I am responsible for all the extras, should you be wondering."

She pauses, her mug lifted half to her lips, and stayed. "English? Whatever for? Do we not have someone for that?"

Psylocke has posed:
"We do. I currently am the English teacher. For the last year, I have been questioning why. Yes, I am British." Not to look at Betsy would one know, but her accent screams it. "However, our English is very different from American. I don't know why they don't call it that. They expect me to teach the version from this country and admittedly, it has grown tiresome." Nevermind that she's an adrenaline junkie and she'd rather teach anything but English just about. Something physical would be nice.

"I am considering taking a break from teaching for a bit."

Emma Frost has posed:
There's a short, amused laugh from Emma.

"My dear. English is a vital subject. Have you met me? Are we not all aware of the usual sentiment held against myself?" Emma shakes her head. "It's a delightful sentiment, my dear, but hardly one that benefits the students. I'm Emma Frost. Usually said in bitten off whispers, accompanied with expletives or worse. Hardly a poster child to encourage the students here to continue on with their studies.. And not a candidate to take up your post. Though I sympathize."

Emme settles into a seat.

"I know my reasons, and trust me, I've begun to seriously consider leaving Xavier's. But you? I confess I'm curious. A well loved teacher. Young. Smart. And in sync with the students. What prompts this, Betsy?"

Psylocke has posed:
"I'm not proposing leaving the school entirely." Betsy sends out a brief mental scan to the area, making sure they are not about to be joined by any students before she speaks the words outloud. "I intend to remain with the X-Men. It is teaching that I am tired of."

She sets her cup down on the island, turning to face Emma as she continues to speak. "I'm bored. The time spent in Mexico fighting? That was more thrilling than an entire year of teaching English to the students. I just need a break for maybe a semester or two."

Emma Frost has posed:
That, it seems Emma is able to accept. The tired of teaching.

"And you want me to step into your shoes? My dear, has it escaped you how very unliked I am?"

Truth be told, the only reason - the singular reason - Emma taught, was the students. And, in particular, one Julien Keller. Beyond that, she had no investment in this.

"It was thrilling, wasn't it?" As though Emma hadn't been, for the majority of it, on the wrong side.

Psylocke has posed:
"Students don't have to like you. They just need to learn. They need to be given the tools to help them in their future," Betsy says with a shrug. "Teaching English, I am not nearly as popular as you think. And if they knew more about me, they would look at me with terror everytime they came in a room. Even as a telepath, I get the same untrust and fear when I'm around some of them." She shrugs. "I just move beyond it."

Her eyes do narrow slightly. "You were on vacation on Mexico though, correct? Hiding away after I severed your tie to the Shadow King. I saw the postcard."

Emma Frost has posed:
Emma gives a faint smirk over her coffee mug as it's lifted to her lips, "Oh, they don't need to like me, no, but I'm a poor choice, and we both know it. In a core curriculum? Me?" Emma shakes her head. "Hardly. I'm sorry, my dear, but I can't be your permission to step away. I'm sure that there are others might step up, but as it is, my position here is precarious and I've yet to decide if leaving isn't the right answer."

Another shrug, followed by a calm sip of her coffee.

"Vacation. Sojourn. What is it you're actually asking, Betsy."

Psylocke has posed:
"Well, you were there for a vacation so I suppose that would be some sort of thrilling. Not quite the same kind as what I was there for, fighting bad guys and helping to take down the Shadow King. But I thrive on that. The fighting." Betsy frowns a little as she says that, watching Emma but feeling a moment of annoyance that she admitted that outloud.

Emma Frost has posed:
Emma takes a considered pause before speaking again.

"We have," she says finally, " As X-Men, seemed to have fallen into a rut. Whether by personal responsibility, or lack of community, we are not the team we should be. I confess, I did not expect such apathy when I agreed to join the team."

Surprisingly, she admits, "I was not there on vacation."

Psylocke has posed:
Now that gets Betsy's attention as she lowers the cup she just sipped out of, placing it back on the countertop.

"Then what were you there for? I don't remember seeing you at the Villa. Unless you were in town fighting those robots?" Still the benefit of the doubt being given here.

Emma Frost has posed:
"Truth?" Emma murmurs. "I wish I could say it was anything but what it was. As it was, I was deluded. The only saving grace is that my potential was overlooked and ignored."

She considers.

"You realize, were we more of a team, my dalliance would have been less likely. Not that I blame anyone but myself. I am well aware of my foibles. But, as you say, we are lacking. I wonder when that happened."

Psylocke has posed:
Betsy remains where she was but her eyes narrow ever so slightly. "Deluded? Overlooked?"

Something shifts inside her. The shadows in the room seem to darken a bit, making the areas of light seem brighter by contrast.

"While not all of the X-Men were available, some of us were there risking our lives to save the world. There were other heroes. I had to perform mental surgery to save some of them after the Shadow King attacked, people like Iron Man. And you are telling me you were there trying to support our enemy then you have the nerve to claim it is the fault of the /team/ for not knowing what you were doing?"

She steps back from the counter as the Crimson Dawn tattoo--a red triangular shape--appeared over her eye as she failed to keep it masked with her mind focusing on what she just heard. And hopes she is misinterpreting. "Tell me I'm wrong. Please."

Emma Frost has posed:
"Fault of? Oh no. My dear, never that. Though I suppose if we were a team and not so disparate, things might have been ever so different."

Emma sets her coffee mug down, after a final sip, and regards Betsy.

"I'm saying I was much more human than I care to admit. I could lie, but the damage of those words would do nothing for our future. I don't suppose the truth will save me, but the truth is I was a fool."

Emma makes a considered noise under her breath. "I'd offer to leave. Jean knows. There are no lies here. And if that would soothe you, then I am willing to walk that path. But the truth of the matter is, I allowed myself to believe I was special. That I not only loved, but was loved."

Her shrug is negligent, as are her tones, though they're too bland to be dismissive. Too very bland, indeed.

"I wanted things, Betsy. I wanted more than any regard I've received. I was a fool, though. Played in all the ways there are, and some that were invented upon the spot. Your indignation is both understandable, and accepted."

Psylocke has posed:
"I don't understand. The Shadow King. He has always been a threat. He's always been about himself and no one else. You knew this, were told this. Yet you still allied yourself..."

Betsy shakes her head as her voice fades. She had no words. She could understand wanting those things, she just didn't understand seeking them from that particular being. It made no sense to her head.

"I think I need some time to clear my head."

Emma Frost has posed:
Emma takes a long inhale, and an even longer exhale. "Nothing you say is untrue. My only defense is I have never encountered the likes of his mind before."

She doesn't' look at Betsy, but off into the distance. "When I became what I am now, my parents disowned me. I made the mistake of believing the first person to accept me as I was loved me. It was a foolish idea."

She makes a considered, self-derogatory noise. "It took me until long into my years to understand we all do that. I thought, at the time, that it was some sort of failing. And I vowed that I would never again allow someone - some male - to hold that power over me."

And here Emma sighs, closing her eyes.

"His mind was so vast. So.. much the universe lain out before me. And I looked into it and saw all the possibility there was. I have no excuses other than for the moment I was lost. Besotted. Believed that a mind like that could look to me and care. And for the moment, I allowed myself to believe that maybe after everything, I was worthy of that love and attention."

Emma gets up no, her half filled coffee mug emptied in the sink; rinsed; turned upside down into the dish rack.

"But we all know the folly of that, yes? I suppose you're right, my dear. This was always a foolish choice. An idea doomed to failure. But I'm glad we were able to have true words between us."

Psylocke has posed:
Listening to Emma as she bares her soul that way has Betsy hesitating. She's still upset, still hurt that the choice was made. But she can understand it on some level.

"We've all done stupid things while trying to find acceptance or love. The only thing I can tell you for sure is that you shouldn't seek that from others. It has to come from self first. Losing my body taught me that..."

Her turn for an admission. "You can tell I'm British. At one time, I looked like this." She offers a mental image, sending it to the other woman telepathically. Her taller, fuller figured, with lilac colored hair and a completely different look. She was wearing a very pink, very feminine outfit. "Then my body was taken from me. I was swapped into this body, the body of an assassin. I gained her knowledge and her skills as a result. The thing is, I loved it. I loved the change. The truth is, I had hated myself before."

There were few who knew that part of it. Some probably suspected in the X-Men. "I hated that I was weak, that I couldn't help in a fight. For a time, I had even donned armor to try to be more capable. And during that time, I never found love. When I was swapped, when I figured things out, I found I loved myself. And now that I accept myself for what I am, instead of rebelling against it, I have managed to find the love that had eluded me before. It sounds like a cliche but it was true. I had to accept me before someone else ever would."

Emma Frost has posed:
"I'm not infallible, Betsy. I wish I were. I thought I was." Another of those negligent shrugs. "And yet, after it all, I am nothing but human. As wanting of attention and positive regard as any."

She refusses to say 'love'.

"I will not offer excuses, nor try to mitigate it all. But if you must nkow, I did not take any direct action against our allies. However, I realize how bad this looks. And were it not a detriment to our future, I would not be admitting any of this now."

There's a saddened look from the woman.

"You don't understand, do you? You who are so easy to love. Who could breeze into any room and find yourself the centre of attention. Who has a man who not only looks to her like she is the world, but understands how to engender that in others. Of course you don't understand. You've no reference to what it means to be desperate for the merest scrap - the merest iota - or caring from another being. And even as I say this, you can't' imagine what it is I mean, even as you fail to realize how little regard you, and the others, have ever held me in."

"And then you wonder why I might turn to someone - anyone - who may possible look upon me as though I were not a difficulty to be borne rather than welcomed."

Emma sighs. "No mind. It isn't like I fit in here. Julien is established. I suppose all things come to an end."

Psylocke has posed:
"Now you are being a bit short sighted. You can read minds, the same as I can. You know that when either of us breezes in a room, we don't find love. We find lust. We find people who have thoughts that are impure and impolite and we have to block ourselves from it, though after so long it just is routine. but that isn't love and it isn't simple. It took until this last year for me to find love. So I believe you are being unfair in your assessment of the simplicity of that moment."

She shakes her head. "If you came her for Julien and Julien alone then yes, you should go. But if you give a damn about any of those kids you have been professing to be here for, you will stop with your pity party and be here for them. You will continue to establish yourself here instead of running away with you tail between your legs. Emma Frost of Frost Enterprises never struck me as a coward."

Emma Frost has posed:
Emma actually laughs. "To be honest, opening myself to that mind is what put me in that situation. And no, he never cared. That was my own delusion. It only goes to prove the stupidity of believing in such things."

Emma considers the room. "I know you mean that as a challenge I cant refuse, Betsy, but even you have to admit I don't fit in here. It matters little my intentions or my hopes, there is a point where those things fall aside to reality, and the reality is I may be doing more harm than good here. I've yet to establish any rapore with students or staff, and as you've so rightly pointed out, I've failed on a level that surpasses even the most profoundly incapable of us when I entered that dalliance with the Shadow King. Can we all not, now, admit that this is an experiment that has gone wrong, and allow things to right themselves?"

Psylocke has posed:
That earns a frown from Betsy. "That's your choice of course. You have lessons to share with the students, things that will help them survive out there. If you feel like you don't then fine. Take your leave of this place. Just be sure you are doing it for the right reasons."

"There are others who have seemed an ill fit when they arrived. Logan is a prime example yet now, he is a part of the family here. Don't write yourself off. However," she pauses then continues after she has chosen the words carefully. "Do what makes *you* happy. Not others. If your happiness comes from a place outside Xavier's, I will wish you the best of luck in your endeavors. If it pleases you to help those kids find a way to cope with a world that doesn't understand them and often hates them? Then stay and do your work, opinions be damned."

Emma Frost has posed:
Emma's response is a soft laugh. "Opinions be damned. My lifelong rhetoric. And few to consider I might be tired of that." Emma sobers. "More of the same. Challenges issued with little personal impact. Yes? Easy when there is no personal cost to yourself. Words that are meaningless as long as you can say them and walk away without responsibility."

A keen, blue-eyed gaze narrows down upon Betsy. "So very like the rest of them. No matter, though. As long as your platitudes fall easily, and your responsibiity remains lacking. Easy enough for someone who has made no overtures to say. However, if fingers must be pointed, there are enough directed back at myself."

Psylocke has posed:
There is a long moment of silence from Betsy. She watches Emma, eyes searching for something. Some sign. "I am telling you the way I see it. If you want me to feel sorry for your lot in life, you are talking to the wrong person. All of us have our albatross, our demons that we have to deal with. Some are different from others. For a long time, I was the outsider trying to find my place. It took a long time for me to find it. You could do the same but it is your choice and not the choice of those around you."

She picks up her mug and takes it with her. "I have work to do. I'm going to my office. I hope you will think long and hard before you make a decision that you will regret in the future." Not a threat. Simply a statement that sounds almost sad as she heads for the door.