6742/The Date: All the Movies Make it Look Easy

The Date: All the Movies Make it Look Easy
Date of Scene:	03 March 2019
Location:	Unknown
Synopsis:	Castiel asks May out on 'The Date' only to find out that Darcy has left out some very vital pieces of information, and the 'Date' is actually a mission. It's about the comedy of errors you would expect.
Cast of Characters:	Castiel, Melinda May

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Castiel has posed:
Darcy had impressed upon Castiel that Agent May wanted to go out on a date with him. In fact, she made it rather clear that the angel didn't have a choice in the matter:

'Are you going to say no to May?' she'd asked him, and upon reflection, Castiel had decided he'd rather lay out a rather long and illustrious line of complaints to the Archangel Michael before he'd turn down a command performance from Agent May.

What Darcy hadn't told Castiel was /why/ he wasn't going to be allowed to turn down the date, and somewhere in there, Castiel had convinced himself that Agent May not only liked him that way, but with Darcy's help, that he was going to treat her like a lady *or else*. There were some implications that May wouldn't admit she had a soft and feminine inner core, and thus why it was up to him to treat her like the lady she was?

Which is how Castiel found himself rather more put together than normal, wearing one of the suits that had been rejected for 'the Date' itself, but deemed an otherwise good fit. He'd kept his usual tie, and the trench coat, of course - because Castiel, and this was just the pre-date - but he'd made an effort..

Castiel does the nearly unthinkable, and actually uses the front door of the Triskelion, subjecting himself to security of all things, grumbling to himself and under his breath about the whole matter and how he should have just shown up as always - totally aware of the irony of that, given his eternal complaints about the lack of SHIELD security with regards to teleporting in.

"I've come to see Agent May," he rumbles, trying hard (for him) to not be irritated with the poor sots on security this day. "Leave that alone. That's not for you," he scolds when they go to check out the packages he's brought. One is very obviously fresh cut flowers - the triangular wrap is distinctive, and in this case, from a very expensive florist. The other is less obvious, but given the flowers, is likely a companion piece, and that package Castiel holds onto for dear life, refusing to let it be manhandled or wanded.

Which, of course does pose a problem for security in general, and is why Agent May gets a rather exasperated call from the front:

"Ma'am, we have a Mr. Castiel here, says you're expecting him? He's giving us some grief. Can you confirm you've got an appointment with the gentleman? We're having trouble clearing him at checkpoint one."

In the background there can be heard gruff complaints in Castiel's voice. "You are not making me wish to repeat this experience. I did not have to use the door!"

It might not be apparent to the guards at the door, but the angel is giving distinct thought to bypassing them.

Melinda May has posed:
SHIELD Command Central. It's the perpetually busy heart of the Triskelion. At the 'eye of the storm' figuratively is the workstation Fury uses when he's on deck. Very close to said station is where the Deputy Director works, and May is there now, speaking with no less than three other agents and sending them off in various directions across the room.

She is actually not expecting Castiel, but the fact that he's at a checkpoint requesting admittance is noteworthy enough to get her attention considering he could always just pop in anywhere he pleases. So, she has the agents around her wait for a moment while she answers the call from the checkpoint.

"Checkpoint one, this is May. Appointment confirmed. Why are you having trouble clearing him?"

And, she knows better but she can't help it, thinking mostly to herself, 'Cas, please just let the security guards do their jobs.'

Castiel has posed:
"Ma'am," a very exasperated junior level paper pusher doing an overtime shift explains, "He won't let us clear his packages. I'm sure they're fine, but protocol... " Not to mention the way Castiel is holding onto the things for dear life, particularly the less defined package, really should raise a brow or two. Or could.

After all, if he were an evil overlord, sending an expendable idiot in with the ticking time bomb of doom, hoping they'd pass clearance without a fuss - because, c'mon, that idiot? a threat? Laughable - and let havoc wreak for that folly.

"He says you know him." A muffle of sound, followed by, "Says his name is Castiel. Once of the Choir. Whatever that means. Care to tell us how to proceed here? Randy is about three second short of calling backup and things getting ugly down here." Muttered, under his breath, 'Damned rookies."

Melinda May has posed:
May would sigh if she thought she could get away with it. She quickly finishes giving marching orders to the agents still waiting around her, then returns her attention to the poor sap down at the checkpoint. "I do. I will speak with him in Meeting Room One Delta. ETA four minutes."

She nods to one of the other agents and heads for the elevator as the agent steps over into the terminal she just vacated, intending to find out what Cas wants in a conference room away from the gossip nightmare that is the Command Center.

Castiel has posed:
Castiel is shuffled off to a meeting room on the first floor - packages and all, with a detail left outside the door of the room. Not that he's happy with this whole deal.

"I believe I understand why those who can do not use the front doors," he mutters, standing awkwardly in the middle of the empty space of the room rather than sitting. It's really only thoughts of Darcy's admonishments, and her guaranteed scolding of the man that keep him from calling this attempt a bust and going at it in his more usual fashion.

"These are not for them. Who would put a bomb in a chocolate box?" The offending box is peered at. "I do not even know if she likes them."

It occurs to Castiel that May seems more the kind of woman you bring a new katana to, or perhaps some perfectly balanced throwing blades - however, neither of those fit the criteria Darcy gave him on what was proper to bring to a date, so chocolates and flowers it was, even if they didn't strike him as suiting the woman they were for.

"It must be that delicate inner core I do not see," he mutters, frowning.

Where was she, anyway?

Melinda May has posed:
May arrives a moment after Castiel does, in time to hear at least part of his muttered ranting about security trying to examine the items he brought with him. Which... why did he bring cut flowers? Anyway, moving on.

"Because it's their job, Castiel. Any object brought into this building, no matter how innocent, has to be checked for explosives, listening devices, toxic substances..." Wait.

May's eyebrows draw together in the closest she gets to visibly frowning. "What 'delicate inner core'?" Is he talking about the chocolates?

Castiel has posed:
By this time, Castiel's inherent frustration with what he sees as the inherent stupidity of the human race (as fond of them as he is) has reached its upper limit - likely exacerbated by the fact that this command performance date has him feeling well out of his comfort zone. Fighting a war he gets. Demon smiting he gets. Hand to hand combat to test one another's mettle he gets.

Dating? The Harlequin channel didn't prepare him for this.

"Why would I go through security with items like that. I have no need of your doors as your Director Fury insists upon leaving gaping holes in other places. I would just appear where I wanted to do the damage and proceed."

It seems to him rather inane of them not to realize that, it not occurring to him that they don't know that. Though he can appreciate the 'just doing their job' part of it.

"I will accept it is their job. Though you have sheep at your door." He thrusts the flower bundle at her first. "This is for you. It is not roses. You are entirely different than that. I did not ask the lady for help this time."

Then the box, which he's already let out of the bag is chocolates, also thrust at her. "I am told women like chocolates. I would have preferred a different gift, but I wanted to do this right. I hope I have chosen well."

This is the part where he waits for her to look at what he's brought her. Darcy had impressed that part of the whole experience was allowing your date to express herself and her appreciation for the attention you have lavished upon her, and then to use that to get cues as to how to proceed. It seemed rather complicated to the angel when normal conversation would suffice so much more expediently, however, Darcy had insisted, so Castiel was making an attempt.

While he waits for her to look at what he's brought, he absently tugs at the tie about his neck, loosening it not quite as far as his normal bedraggled accompaniment, but certainly far enough to indicate how hir regular tie had gotten to it's mostly undone state and why it was never in its proper state.

"You are supposed to open them," he prompts. "I assure you there are no bombs or other volatile substances hidden within." Helpfully.

Melinda May has posed:
Buddha, give me patience.

May takes a breath and waits for Castiel to stop ranting. She knows he can go on a bit.

The flowers getting shoved at her cause her to blink and take them if only so they don't end up in her face, but she hasn't actually looked at what's inside the triangular wrapping mostly because the box of chocolates promptly follows and she has to take that as well.

"Castiel, please sit down." She moves to take a seat herself, setting the box and flowers down on the table in front of herself. "First off, before I open these, I want to explain to you why it's important to allow the security checkpoint personnel the chance to do their jobs. I know you wouldn't bring dangerous items here, but I don't know that of everyone else who walks in the door. And, the guards out there don't know you, so for them, you are part of the 'everyone else'. Even I have to go through those same security checks every time I enter this building. Just because I know that you or I would not bring anything dangerous in here does not mean that we could not be unknowingly carrying something."

She turns the box slightly on the table. "How am I to know that this box of chocolates didn't have an electronic listening device put into it before it was given to you? Do you see how even the most trustworthy person could unintentionally bring something damaging into this building? So please, for my sake if no one else's, let the security checkpoint personnel do their jobs. They could have proven you right in just a few moments, and none of this would have been necessary."

Castiel has posed:
Castiel doesn't sit, but he does stop ranting, pacing, and otherwise making a nuisance of himself while irritating them both.

"I see your point," he had to admit. Security wasn't blessed with his abilities, or knowledge of his intentions. They necessarily had to treat everyone as the same volatile threat.

"I can not speak for the chocolates," he says with rather less irritation. "The flowers, though, I picked them myself."

Not that he thinks the generic box of chocolates has a ticking time bomb or listening device in it. Someone would have truly had to anticipate his actions to do that, and actually be that interested in him to even have the angel on their radar. It wasn't like he was a terribly visible fixture on any appreciable level.

Not even with the boys. Though there he did run into rather more entities who cared what he was up to, and rather more invested in making his life hell. Literally.

Melinda May has posed:
Inwardly relieved that Castiel accepted her explanation, May turns her attention to the flowers and box of chocolates again, the faint shift of her expression revealing... confusion?

She carefully unwraps the flowers and regards them for a moment, perhaps trying to figure out WHY Castiel brought them. Were they evidence of some sort?

Castiel has posed:
Castiel actually pays close attention to May opening the flowers.

The paper surrounding them is from the same very expensive florist as the ones he brought Darcy, but within is a very different story.

Nestled within the paper is a single orchid bloom, in purples that range from pale as dawn to deep as sunset; the single bloom resting upon a bed of pussywillow branches.

Melinda May has posed:
May looks at the single orchid for a long moment before looking at Castiel again. Does he truly understand the meaning of giving someone flowers? Presumably, Darcy was instructing him on how to behave during the mission. But this? This seems... above and beyond. And not a little bit worrying.

"The flower is lovely, thank you." And the pussywillow branches are also very much her usual aesthetic, simple and clean. She's already mentally planning where to display them in the quarters she uses while on base.

She then turns her attention to the box of chocolates, which seem generic enough, and opens it. Yup. Fairly run of the mill assortment. They look like decent quality, at least. Though, she might consider mentioning that handcrafted chocolates place in Syracuse if there's to be any more seemingly random gifts like this.

Castiel has posed:
In fact, Darcy's instructions had been that women like such things, not an actual admonishment or order that he will provide such things. But after his experience with the flowers given to Darcy, he'd been inspired. Of all the blooms he'd looked at, the single delicate orchid had intrigued most, though it was the pussy willows he most pictured as belonging with her.

As for connotations and meanings.. somewhere in the annals of his brain the information must exist. Lore and symbolism was what theology (and magic as it happened) were all about. This was nothing more than that.. however, it hadn't played a part in this.

This had been a single, impetuous attempt to provide the experience Darcy told him would please May.

Agent May who Castiel believed had an interest in him - in that way - and had been unable to approach him about on her own.

It was, he considered, actually almost endearing in that odd human way that had sucked him in with the boys, and had him overseeing May's safety to begin with.

For a crusty old warrior, he had an alarming sentimental side.

"I am assured they are best quality chocolates," the angel tells her. If only because the box itself proclaims that fact in bold lettering. Which should have been the first sign that maybe they weren't.

Alas, Castiel is actually more knowledgeable in flowers than chocolates.

Then again, flowers, and their symbolisms, had existed ages before chocolate had become a romantic standard.

Melinda May has posed:
"I'm sure." Okay, May at least tried to keep the sarcasm out of her tone for that. So the angel is apparently kind of crap at picking chocolates. From what she's gathered, he doesn't taste food the way humans do, so she can't really fault him for that.

All right. Back to business, she could have been getting work done instead of having to deal with this. "Darcy did remind you about the mission briefing in," she glances at a wall clock, "one hour, I hope?"

Castiel has posed:
"I did not come here for a briefing," the angel scowls at May, trying to recall if he'd been told such a thing and blocked it out or ignored it, or if she'd neglected to mention a meeting. Then again, what did May mean by mission? It seemed an odd way to refer to their date.

"I have come to ask you out on a date. I did not think that Agent Lewis had warned you that I was coming to do so."

In fact, he didn't recall telling her he had that planned for this particular day.

"I was under the impression I was not to know you were interested in me. This does make it?" He tilts his body at an awkward angle, one shoulder rather more forward to the other, as he contemplates how to proceed. "She will be? disappointed," he finishes.

"I would still like it if you would say yes." A slightly less awkward pause. "To a date."

In case she was confused, because he certainly was now.

Melinda May has posed:
Again, May spends a handful of seconds just staring at Castiel while her mind puts the pieces together as so:

Darcy instructed Cas on how to conduct himself properly on a date.
Darcy informed Cas that he would be going on a date with May.
Darcy failed to inform Cas that the date was a ruse to go with an infiltration mission.
Darcy will be the one to make this right. No ifs, ands, or buts.

"I"m sorry to say you have been incompletely informed, Castiel. There will be a date of sorts, yes, but it is to be part of a SHIELD mission. Simply entering the target establishment would not work, so a ruse had to be devised. Any of the other agents capable of completing this mission are too recognizable, thus I thought to request your assistance. The ruse is to take place at a formal dinner party, so I tasked Agent Lewis with instructing you on how to blend in during this social event to give us the opportunity to complete the mission objectives. She was supposed to inform you of this from the very beginning."

And now, May very much plans to have some serious words with Agent Lewis. In one hour.

Castiel has posed:
"I see," Castiel says finally, when he doesn't entirely. He does enough, though. Enough to understand that he's misconstrued the situation, and highly so. "I am sorry for the chocolates," he manages, the apology covering all manner of moments in this whole affair, and not really the chocolates at all.

That he's apologized, even, is really rather momentous. given his nature.

"That would be why you called it a mission." Yes, yes, Captain Obvious, that would be why. "And we are to have a briefing. I would have known this if I had - I am thinking she did tell me by that pocket phone. I am also thinking I may wish to learn it."

Missed messages and pocket dialing amongst only the few misadventures he's had with the thing. It's value, he's coming to understand, might not rank highly with him, but for these humans, the small piece of non-weapon equipment held an important place.. and might have saved him this particular moment of grief.

"That would be why they - you -" You being SHIELD, he's now guessing "paid for the suits. There are three. This one included." He gestures at the thing he's now more than a little uncomfortably wearing.

He's quiet for several long moments, caught in that awkward tilt of shoulders position while he contemplates the facts as he now understands them. Hands shoved deeply into his trench coat pockets. A stern frown of a line planted across his lips.

"I am assuming there is a reason you are asking me to come to this not a date?" A nod to himself. Of course there is. There were enough agents in SHIELD who did not need what Darcy put him through to make them socially acceptable that if they'd gone to this trouble, there was a reason he'd been hand picked. Even if Darcy's reason did seem to settle firmly in the 'comic relief' category.

"Very well, I will do this thing. We will have not a date. I am already familiar with the utensils and the chair. We will - you will tell me what we are doing, and I will do it."

Which seemed the most expedient summary of the thing he could come up with that allowed them both to save face.