906/The Bank Is Not Open, Duh

The Bank Is Not Open, Duh
Date of Scene:	11 June 2017
Location:	Unknown
Synopsis:	In which robbers forget which day it is and learn crime really doesn't pay when you're stupid
Cast of Characters:	283, 87, Jacky Diamond

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WilyKat (283) has posed:
A quiet Sunday, at least in some parts of New Troy. The business district? Not so much. It's a hotbed of activity for a variety of businesses, and even on a day when most people are enjoying a day off, there's always something going on.

It's drawn WilyKat to the area for further exploration, doing so by himself whether he was supposed to go with the buddy system or not. He's getting around on his hoverboard, using the part of the road designated as a bike lane, when the sound of an alarm draws his attention and makes him wince. Even on a Sunday, it looks like a small gang of robbers are trying to break into a bank, even if the vault is locked and sealed shut.

Nobody said all thieves were Mensa quality.

Vorpal (87) has posed:
"So I go ahead and I tell them I'm not gonna go and dig trah up on people anymore. I'm just doing the eyewitness fight scenes and stuff like that from now on, and that if they don't like it, they can just fire me."

Tommy is walking around, full Cheshire without any disguise whatsoever. He feels he needs to get used to people staring and occasionally making comments- both complimentary and otherwise- if he's going to take 'the life' seriously. Going out and about for a stroll is good practice. Especially if you get to reconnect with an acquaintaince.

That would be Jacky.

"That's what I told 'em. So now I'm looking for a job-"

He stops, dead cold, the hot dog he has been carrying halfway to his mouth.

"Do you hear what I hear?" he says, one of his ears twitching.

Jacky Diamond has posed:
Bank. Robbers. An alarm. On Sunday. This is definitely going to go up on U-Tube.

"I definitely get a 'Stupid Criminals Go Viral' vibe... there's a bank down that way," Jacky Winters says. "And I just know one of them is recording it for BookFace."

He starts running toward the alarm.

WilyKat (283) has posed:
"Hey, what are you do--?"

That's as far as WilyKat gets before a shot rings out, one of them having fired a gun at him! It whizzes past, thankfully doing no more than grazing a tuft of hair atop his head, but he freezes in surprise for a second. "You shot at me! Why did you shoot at me? The door looks like it's locked and you shot at me!" He doesn't really know what a bank is yet, but he does have experience around guns.

The Thundercat goes into action after this as two of the four partners in crime work on trying to break inside, the other two turning their attention to him. By the time the other one draws a gun, people are already fleeing the area while a few have withdrawn their phones to document what's happening.

Darting to one side on his hoverboard, WilyKat comes up with a hand full of something from one of his pouches, throwing it at them. What appear to be small pellets land at their feet and when they break open, smoke pours from them, meant to cause coughing and trouble seeing.

Vorpal (87) has posed:
"I'll let you be the visible one. I'll go and flank," Vorpal says as he runs after Jacky. He vanishes into thin air as the invisibility takes hold. For added measure, he also extends his invisibility to Jacky... but creates an illusion of his imprompty team-mate who is at least several feet ahead and to the side of where the real deal is. In case they shoot at him, they'll be shooting at literally empty air.

Jacky Diamond has posed:
OH, useful trick. Jacky is not sure which "him" is really him, and his ESP tries to give him the point of view of the displacer-Jack. He stops for a moment when he sees the kat on the hover board. No. Not the same species as Vorpal. He's got some sort of a banjo back-beat musical vibe going on, and Jacky ... jinks left and runs for one of the regular people just standing there with their phone deployed and staring gawp-faced. He touches her and says (with a little tiny mental NUDGE) "get to a safe place. Standing out in the open where they can shoot you isn't a safe place. There. Behind the car. Go!"

Then he's trying to identify whom among the remaining people is actually part of the gang, because they will get the love taps.

WilyKat (283) has posed:
These thieves may be eligible to star on World's Dumbest Criminals #311, but they're smart enough to /not/ blindly shoot through the smoke. They're too busy coughing and fighting back tears from the smoke that stings, waving their hands at it and trying to back away.

This leaves WilyKat with another opening, and this time it's a double volley of trouble from him, both hands coming up with more 'toys' as he zips to another spot opposite them. In one hand? Marbles. The other? Flashbang capsules. The two gunmen are soon falling over themselves, further disrupted by the pops and bright bursts of light.

That leaves the others working on the door to turn around and realize their numbers have been cut in half. "Come on! We're just trying to make a little withdrawal, and...who are you?" one demands of the feline.

"Your worst nightmare," WilyKat growls out.

Someone's been watching Rambo.

Nearby, the invisible Vorpal has nothing preventing him from sneaking in wherever he wishes to go, attention on anything but him although someone may have seen him there one moment, gone the next.

Jacky's efforts to encourage the woman filming work remarkably, perhaps predictably well, though she looks surprised for a moment at him next to her. "Oh. Right. Safe place. Behind the car. Yes. Sorry." She, evidently, is not one for long sentences even under normal circumstances, but she does as suggested.

With the two gunmen down but not out and the doormen now focused on the Thunderian, openings are there to be taken advantage of.

Jacky Diamond has posed:
Not invisible, but using a strong sense of "Ignore Me" aimed at the crims, Jacky comes up behind one of the peripheral armed men guarding the door as he begins to panic and aim at the Thunderian, and demonstrates the power of an under-trained mutant fisticuffer: He hits the man hard on the back of the head, which would normally have no real effect except that Jacky wanted to knock him out without killing or causing long-term harm, and so his instinctive telekinesis protects the guy from having brain damage but still sends a strong "go to sleep" impulse to the man's lizard brain. Really? It would have worked with just a touch, if Jacky had thought about it.

Somehow, Jacky knows to close his eyes just as the flashbangs go off.

Vorpal (87) has posed:
And Vorpal... does not. Cut him some slack, okay? He's new at this. The effect of the flashbang is seven shades of hell for him, as he falls to his knees with his hands over his ears as they ring out. It's pure agony, he can't even hear the cry of pain he gives out- and his eyes... well. He can't see right now, either. He becomes visible, and whatever illusionary protection he had cast on Jacky to complement his IAmNotHere is also gone. What's worse- the Cheshire cat is now prone, visible and vulnerable... and completely defenseless.

WilyKat (283) has posed:
Keeping mobile atop his hoverboard, WilyKat uncoils his Flank and prepares to swing it in a circle a few times to launch at the gunmen in order to wrap them up, only for something unseen to cause them to really go down for the count. Shortly after that, Vorpal is unexpectedly caught by the effects of the small but potent flashbangs, leading to a look of surprise in the Thundercat as the Flank is lowered. "Vorpal..?"

In that moment, Jacky reappears as well, and in spite of their surprise one of the doormen decides it best to charge at him with the intent of swinging a crowbar at the back of his head. "Look out!" WilyKat shouts, pointing behind Jacky, a step slow to react otherwise. His attention was still partially split on the one he knows looking like he's in pure agony.

The other one still up sees an opportunity and brandishes his 'weapon,' in the form of a hacksaw. "Oh, look. Kitty wanna play?" he taunts Vorpal, beginning to close the distance, a matter of fifteen feet or so.

Vorpal (87) has posed:
Vorpal can't see and can't hear, but he can *smell*.

He senses the proximity of the man, he can smell... what's that? Acrid. Anticipation? He doesn't know, but he knows something is going to happen to him, and he can't defend himself at all. He can't even bring up a Rabbit Hole to escape because he can't -see- where he's going.

So he's going to take a cue from Mother Nature herself.

The stench spreads from Vorpal outward in a circle, as he creates a scent illusion. Skunk. The sheer, absolute power of the stench is magnified, for more intense and penetrating than an encounter with an actual skunk. It somehow has depurated the sheer essence of odorific offensiveness and distilled it into a wave of absolute nostril terror.

It's the best that he can do. He hopes it is enough.

Jacky Diamond has posed:
The illusion of Jacky is gone and he realizes that he's being attacked from Somewhere Else. So like any sensible person would, he turns to his Diamond form. It looks like glass, but unlike the relatively common carbon crystal, he's not fragile at normal Earth temperatures, and the crowbar hits him with the same effect it would have hitting a steel girder: the shock of hitting is most likely to travel back up the man's arms and cause all sorts of pins and needles... but Jacky isn't immovable, and enough got through that he rolls forward. He pops to his feet ... and someone's going after his friend with a hack-saw.

The man is taking time to taunt him, so Jacky grabs the hacksaw from behind and spins back around to face Crowbar Man, when the world becomes a horrible, horrible place of evil stench and butyric acid fury.

Somehow even a bit paler than his glass-like form was a moment ago, Jacky runs forward, plowing into the crowbar man.

WilyKat (283) has posed:
WilyKat grimaces, out of position to be of much help to either Jacky or Vorpal right this second. Fortunately, or unfortunately in one case, they both have a way of protecting themselves that leaves him staring in wonder and amazement. First there's recoil as the crowbar strikes Jacky, but his sudden change to a diamond-like form protects him well enough.

"Whoa." That, from any of the old Keanu Reeves movies that were popular a couple decades or so back.

Shortly afterward, the cat's nose is assaulted by the..aromatic defenses from one Vorpal over there, and just as Kat's throwing the Flank to wrap it around the guy as Jacky also reacts, a recoil when the skunky smell hits him causes the Flank to miss wide to the left, striking the wall of the bank before it retracts back to his hand.

"Bogus.." He was absolutely recalling one of those Bill and Ted movies, wasn't he?

The good news is Jacky and Vorpal are doing enough to leave the others disoriented and distracted enough that the threat of them hurting anyone is rapidly decreasing. Kat just can't get close enough to be effective right now, covering his mouth and nose with the fabric over an arm as he makes a few disgusted sounds, scooting back on the hoverboard.

Jacky Diamond has posed:
"What is this wonderful SMELL you've discovered, Princess?" Jacky yells to Vorpal, before he just exhales hard then stops breathing because UGH. Why inhale if you don't have to?

OK, there's still a couple standing -- crowbar man trying to get to his feet, and the criminal formerly known as hacksaw guy. Jacky doesn't punch either of them. They're normal humans, and Jacky Diamond could probably punch into the bank and then into the vault if he was a stupid criminal like these guys. But no, he was saved from a life of crime (and probable shattered-ness) by a diligent Professor Xavier.

So instead, he slaps them. Open-handed. Reminiscent to a Three Stooges skit: he picks "crowbar" up by the shirt front, and whap-whap-whap acriss the face. It'll leave a red hand print, most likely, but again, no brain damage. Then he drops him (birds metaphorically tweeting around his head) and does the same thing for hacksaw, assuming he hasn't managed to flee screaming.

Vorpal (87) has posed:
The cat's eyes and hearing are slowly coming back. Not fast enough yet, though. Still, he needs to protect himself, and his friends.

He crawls on the ground quickly, and tries to reach out for something, anything. He manages to get his hand on something solid, but like the story of the wise men and the elephant, he can't really know what it is. All he can do is release the Chaos Wave and imbue the mystery object with magical life-

"Protect me, Jacky and WilyKat!" he says to it. LOUDLY, because temporary deafness. He sits back and tries to sense anyone getting close to him. Whatever happened now was in the hands of the gods of chance. He hoped that was an object that could actually be... useful.

WilyKat (283) has posed:
The other pair of would-be robbers are dealt with swiftly and efficiently because Jacky's pimp hand is strong. That more or less ends the threat, though WilyKat is getting the Flank going again to secure it around the two gunmen from earlier. He's hopped off the hoverboard in order to do this, and it floats closer to Vorpal.

This is...interesting, because as Vorpal calls out for aid and touches something, it's the hoverboard that gets it. The first thing it does is flip upright in a vertical position, then float over to /swat/ at the backsides of the ones who were trying to break through the door! "...what's going on?" is all WilyKat can ask, looking very confused by this.

Vorpal (87) has posed:
Vorpal can hear what Wily asks, barely. His vision is now mostly functional, and he stands to his feet to see what he's done. Well... it certainy did -something-. "Jacky?" He calls out and steps forward. Wobbly. Okay. Still dizzy.

"How do you always manage to get into messes, Kat?" Vorpal smirks. He reaches for something into a rabbit hole that appears to his right, and brings out a long rope.

You don't need pockets when the whole universe is your pocket. Another blast of chaos magic and the rope comes alive.

"Tie them up real good!" he says, and throws the rope up into the air.

Jacky Diamond has posed:
"Is the horrible smell gone? If the horrible smell is gone, I can breathe again," Jacky says, but then he's breathed, and should be able to tell that the illusion has dispelled. Hopefully. Because otherwise he's gonna be all about the coughing and choking, you know. Even though honestly he's had to deal with this with actual SKUNK in his day job as a veterinarian.

WilyKat (283) has posed:
WilyKat's looking rather confusedly at his hoverboard as it apparently takes on a mind of its own or at least operates under someone else's control. Nope, he doesn't understand that one. The good news is none of the mostly incompetent robbers are a threat any more, as the rope that comes to life lands around the doormen and ties them up securely. He points to the shooters and says, "Can you do that with them too, so I can have my Flank back?" It's currently in use, after all, the metallic claw-like 'hooks' on the end of it having secured themselves around the wire, as if gripping it.

He tentatively moves closer until relaxing more once that skunky smell is no more. "That was awful!" he exclaims, then he's shaking his head at Vorpal. "It's not like I was trying to find trouble! I heard the alarm," (which is, thankfully, off, though sirens are now heard approaching) "and I had to see what it was for!" Jacky's also getting a look of curiosity right now.

Vorpal (87) has posed:
"No more rope, but I do have..."

He reaches into the rabbit hole again and pulls out a roll of duct tape.

Someone is going to hurt a LOT when being unwrapped by the cops.

A quick dash of chaos magic, and some very specific instructions, and the duct tape roll begins to unravel and wrap up the ones requested by WilyKat.

"Sorry guys... I panicked. I conjured up some skunk to try and keep them at a distance. You can breathe again now, Jacks." He smirks, and looks down at the hacksaw on the ground. "I guess I have someone to thank for keeping me in one piece?"

Jacky Diamond has posed:
Jacky is going to stay Diamond for a while. The flesh-and-blood version was too visible and the illusion possibly caught on too many cameras, but it was an illusion, and he'd rather not be hassled for being a vigilante, in his real life.

"Hey, you kept me from getting shot right away, so we're even. Wanna bug out before the cops get here? I'm not sure I want to answer questions. Also who's your fuzzy little friend?"

Jacky winks at the cat-guy with the flying boogie-board.

WilyKat (283) has posed:
Now the two gunmen are a pair of actual duct-tape dummies. Not a very successful effort today, and it might be their last for a while.

"I didn't know you could do /that/ kind of thing," WilyKat says to Vorpal, though he's visibly curious about what's going on with Jacky and the diamond form. Maybe he only has marginal experience with actual mutants so far. "Did my stuff do all that to you? I didn't even know you were there." He looks and sounds somewhat apologetic, but the sirens and Jacky's mention of the police get him looking back at his hoverboard to see if it's even usuable right now. He's now trying to creep up on it carefully, leaving Vorpal to handle the question about him.

Vorpal (87) has posed:
"Yes you did, Kat. How did you think I got your pod into my apartment?" Vorpal chuckles, and nods as he can hear the sirens as well. The board should be back to normal by now.

"Come on, let's all go to Central Park and we can decide what to do after." He snaps his fingers and opens a portal right by the entrance to the park, gesturing for Kat and Jacky. "After you, gentlemen. I'll make sure everything is closed up and tidied up after we leave."

Jacky Diamond has posed:
"I hate this thing," Jacky says as he pops through the rabbit hole. So much easier to just BE somewhere else, than to go scuba-diving along the edge of subspace between places. But the Cheshire seems to be able to do it a lot, while porting is more effort for the Living Diamond.

WilyKat (283) has posed:
WilyKat shakes his head once he's got the board in hand again. "No, I meant the thing you.." But all they hear is a series of cat-like 'speaking' from him all of a sudden. At least he pinches his nose as if he's smelled something rotten. It'll take a few more moments for him to realize the translator's just gone on the fritz, whether it's their confused faces or them speaking a language he still hasn't learned much of yet.

He did, at least, hear enough about Central Park, though whatever he says as he gives the rabbit hole a wary look might still be lost on them. Perhaps Vorpal knows 'cat' and can translate. Reluctantly, he's stepping toward it, the board back under his control, and they'll be gone by the time the police arrive.