10416/Bonny Beard Night at Josie's Bar

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Bonny Beard Night at Josie's Bar
Date of Scene: 13 December 2019
Location: Josie's Bar, Clinton
Synopsis: Natasha gets to show just how good she is with a razorblade...
Cast of Characters: Venom, Black Widow (Romanoff)




Venom has posed:
Bars, like Josie's, are businesses, and they depend on patronage. To try and drive up business during the weeknights they often have to put on live performers, lower the price on beer, or hold competitions, like the Bonny Beard Competition, something that's been going on for five years now. The date hasn't exactly stayed the same, in fact, they had two different Bonny Beard Competitions last year, and this is the second time in 2027.

The rules were fairly simple. Anyone wishing to compete could run up a tab, credit cards required to be on file, drinking as much as they cared to. When the competition begins, each competitor's beard would be judged by the patrons... and the winner, well, they get to continue drinking, and all of it is free. The losers on the other hand, must pay their tabs, and their beards have to be shaven off.

Eddie was a blond haired man, but he had a ridiculous amount of testosterone going on, from body building, and perhaps the symbiote. He had grown out a long, luxuruious beard, looking very much the Viking. He didn't think for one moment that he'd win, but he was here, enjoying the festivities, taking a night off from patrols and anything else.

He was wearing a simple black t-shirt, very tight across the chest, and blue jeans below, which nicely showed off his physique. He was currently standing at a table, a half drunk Guinness, as he was listening to some Irish folksong called the Night Pat Murphy Died.


Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
It wasn't often that Natasha took a night off. She had touched base with Elektra earlier in the night, seeing what was going on. Things seemed to be rather quiet although there were rumors about the Hand and Foot, as always seemed to be the norm.

She was dressed casually, having decided she would come in and visit Josie as well. She had no idea what night it was there. She might have avoided it if she had. The place was pretty packed, filled up with people in good spirits--enjoying good spirits as well.

Natasha took an empty bar stool on the opposite side from the door, working her way easily through the crowd to claim it. She was wearing jeans, short black boots, a cableknit sweater in an emerald green. Her hair was down and had finally grown back out a bit, falling to just below her shoulders.

"Hey, Josie. Been a while. Can I get a vodka neat? Brand doesn't matter." Josie didn't generally have some of the higher priced vodkas anyway and it didn't matter if it was the house for Nat's enjoyment.

Venom has posed:
The place was busy for a Thursday night, with plenty of macho men, all trying to show off their beards, as well as some guys with peace fuzz, just trying to enjoy it. Some were looking around nervously, clearly not wanting to have their beards shaved off, and fairly certain that they'd lose out.

Eddie continued to drink his Guinness, drowning about half of what was left in the glass. At which point a couple came over and asked how long he might be. "Oh, no, please, it's all yours," he said in his distinctive accent. His facial features might have been obscured by the hair, but his voice was the same as always. Picking up his beer, he began to wander, mingling with some guys who were watching a game on the television, before finishing his beer.

The symbiote reminded him, 'you promised us a chocolate mousse', to which Eddie, in the safety of a bar, which was loud as it was, "yeah, yeah, you'll get it, you'll get it, okay?" And as he approached the bar, not having noticed Natasha with her back to him, he said, "hey, Barney, a pint of Guinness and two chocolate mousse... mousses? Two of them, whatever they're called."


Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"Pretty sure it is mousses. It's not like the animal, after all. Or if it is, you might not want to ever order it again in this place," comes the response to his request. Natasha turns on her barstool to pinpoint that voice she knew, arching a brow as she takes in the beard. He didn't have one of those the last time they chatted.

There was an open barstool next to her, as a man vacated and exited after paying his tab because he did not want to have his beard shaved and there were some Duck Dynasty looking men in that crowd. Natasha motioned to the seat, inviting Eddie over.

Venom has posed:
At the invitation to join Natasha, Eddie smiled and said, "better make it three." Though the symbiote could almost be heard pouting as it voiced in his head, 'you're going to give her one of my mousses, aren't you?' Though it was still getting two, since it wasn't like Eddie felt the great desire for chocolate the way it did. And anything Eddie ate went straight into the body they shared.

"Wow," he said, taking a good look at Natasha who for once, was dressed casually. "You look incredible." Of course when he took the open seat, he sat in such a way to offer his beard to her, in case she wanted to feel, touch, or otherwise judge it. A lot of people were doing such things tonight. It was an odd thing, but at least it didn't look out of place. "Come to see a lot of guys brought back down to looking twelve again?"


Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"I'm a little shocked to find you participating," Natasha says with a bit of a laugh as she reached out to pat the bottom of the beard playfully. "After going through all the trouble of growing it. Is this one of those things guys do when they don't play collegiate sports anymore to try to gauge manhood or the like?"

Her vodka is delivered and she takes a brief sip before focusing back on him again. "How're you doing?"

Venom has posed:
"My uh... other, seems to be able to speed up the process." He didn't view it as cheating. It was natural, just, the time was cut down. It was nice having a symbiote at times, well, most of the time. Plus, he'd be dead by now without it.

He leaned in to the playful patting. "And hey, who says I'm going to lose." He was going to lose. "You never know, I might just pull it off... you never know, it could happen," and then a guy who would give Thor a run for his money walked by. Yeah, he was going to lose, definitely. "Hey, if you're still around, want to be the one to cut it off, if you know, somehow, someway, I don't actually win this thing?"

Though she did ask him a question, "I'm doing my best, growing, getting stronger, trying to be better, though, had a few calls." He's been shot at by the police on a few occasions of late. They may have figured out his patrol pattern, or worse, where he lived.

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"Did you see that guy over there? He looks like he was one of the guys in ZZ Top." How Natasha is familiar with ZZ Top? She must like old music. Yeah, that's why. Cause she's not nearly old enough to have been alive when they were cranking out hits back in the 80s.

"If you want me to shave it off, I will. Not sure why though. I mean it isn't like it's a big deal. Presuming they are using like Bic razors. Now if they had a straight edge, that would be much more entertaining." The panic of the men being shaved would likely be papable.

Venom has posed:
"ZZ Top? That takes me back," they probably only stopped touring a few years ago. "But it's not about size, it's how you use it. Like mine, all lush, and soft, yet thick, well groomed." He probably would have gone on for longer about his beard, if the drinks and mousses didn't arrive. Eddie gestured for her to have one of them, while he dug into the first of two he ordered from himself. She knew he was eating for two, as strange as that seemed.

Looking over at the shaving stations, there were some professional barbers, or at least people dressed as them, white smock and all, with grooming kits. There were five stations set up. "From what I heard, they do it for you, or you can have someone do it, but it's got to be done here. So yeah, if I lose, I'd like that Natasha. But of course, I'm not going to lose." He winked at her, deluding himself.


Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"Mmm. Give me a moment." Natasha hopped of the barstool and headed over to the gathered barbers. She had a brief talk with them, keeping her back turned to try to keep Eddie from reading her lips or something. He was a reporter. She knew he wasn't above such tactics.

When she was done, she smiled, shook hands with one of the barbers then headed back over to the bar. "If you lose, I'll be shaving your beard off. I made an arrangement." She picks up the spoon and tastes the mousse, surprised that it was pretty good.

Venom has posed:
Eddie watched with curiosity as Natasha hopped off the barstool and wandered over. The symbiote said to him, 'it's a good that she's our friend. That woman could lop your head off with a pencil. Imagine what she could do with a razorblade.' To which Eddie said, "then don't grab her ass again." Though the symbiote said, 'she liked it'. Eddie then said, "how would you know?" Just as she returned, the symbiote confidently said, 'I know.' To her, Eddie smiled, "well then, that's good." Though he was hoping she hadn't picked up his part of the conversation with the symbiote. For all he knew, she had planted a listening device on the barstool.


Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
No listening devices. No spying. She was having a night off and out. Something she did pretty rarely. Thankfully most people were too busy to recognize her. After all, she wasn't wearing her costume. Generally, she wasn't picked up as being an Avenger when in civilian clothes. It was just one of those odd things. Not that she minded. She wouldn't be happy if she couldn't be somewhat anonymous.

Unless it suited her not to be.

"What are the criteria on the voting anyway?"

Venom has posed:
"I... think applause." And then Barney, one of the assistant bartenders, came over, hearing the question, and explained, "we select a panel of judges to rule on thickness, feel, grooming," and then reached in, handing Nat a little pin, which she could attach to her shirt. "Here you go. You're now one of the judges." They seemed to be picked out at random, "and for overall look, it's by applause. And you can't vote on Eddie." He said, sounding stern, but being factual. "No judge can cast a ballot on someone they know." Eddie looked to her, smiling and laughing, "looks like you got more than you bargained for here."


Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"I don't want to be a...." The bartender was gone. "Great. Well, if I can't vote for you, obviously I shouldn't be a judge. They should have judges that are people who don't know any of the people in the competition." She looks at the pin, leaving it on the bar by her glass. Speaking of, she picks up the glass and tosses back the rest of her vodka.

It didn't really go with the mousse but she'd had worse combinations in her life.

Venom has posed:
"Oh, come on, it'll be fun. Live a little," Eddie said as he picked up the pin. "You were selected. They obviously think that you can be fair. With beards on the line, they probably just don't want a hint of favouritism. Besides, I bet the scores are averages. I'll just have to impress the others." And then the symbiote will go overboard, a tendril coming out from his shirt to grab the pin out of his hand, and stick it to Natasha, before withdrawing back. Looking aghast, "honestly, I can't take him anywhere."


Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
As Venom pins her, Natasha shakes her head a bit. "The good news is that if anyone saw that, they'll think they just had too much to drink. Considering the prize for tonight, that's most of the competitors."

She waves to the bartender, motioning to her now empty glass. He nods and gets the bottle, coming over to refill her glass. "So, how is Killer Croc?" Yes, she did her research after the time in the sewer, learning who the other guy down there had been.

Venom has posed:
"I'd joke that he has a mind of his own, but that's not actually a joke in my case. Sorry about that. But Croc? He's doing well, been getting plenty of exercise, and he's trying a vegan thing." Eddie said that in a serious tone, but he had to be joking there. The man's name was Killer Croc. Killer Croc could not go vegan. How could that be.


Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"Considering his love of fried chicken, I somehow doubt that," Natasha said with a laugh before taking another bite of mousse. "As long as he isn't killing people, I can pretend I never saw him." A hint to his friend to be sure he stayed on the straight and narrow.

"As the night continued to progress, she was subjected to several people coming over to try to sway her vote in their favor. They were met with a dark look and a promise she would be fair. Then she went back to her conversation with Eddie. By now the mousse was gone (she ate all of hers) and she had finished off her second vodka.

Venom has posed:
"He heard it was chlorinated chicken. Reading up on it spooked him. Though, I don't think it'll last." For his part, Eddie liked meat. He made short work of his mousses, both of them, and after that second Guinness, he switched to vodka, curious to taste what Natasha had been drinking.

It seemed that all the judges were female, there were five of them, including Natasha. One was a very angry looking brunette, who often spoke in deadpan. Another was a friendly, but steely eyed Asian girl. Another was an African American with a large afro, there was a somewhat mousy looking blonde, thought she had a sharp wit, and then of course, Natasha.

Josie was getting ready to start things off, grabbing a microphone and cutting the music. She asked the judges to join her. Soon, contestants would be given a number to wear, looking much like a skier, and were scored out of 5, with half points being possible, by each of the judges.


Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
Of course, Natasha would only get to vote on those she didn't know. Which meant everyone except Eddie. The only good news is that each of the judges seemed to be in the same boat. They all knew one contestant and couldn't vote. So even if they voted everyone low in the hopes of helping their friend, it would fail.

Probably was about as fair as it could be.

Natasha worked her way along the line of participants, patting beards and giving critical looks before continuing to the next. Unlike some of the other judges, she made no notes. She didn't need to. It was all kept in her head easily enough.

When the time came, she did write down the numbers and turned them in to Josie.

Venom has posed:
When the judges had set scores for the beard of each participant, it came to the applause section, which was scored so precisely with a noise metre. Having been doing this for five years, they had upgraded and developed more of it, plus, this night was being performed at a variety of different bars in the greater New York area.

Eddie got some applause, most did, but it was pretty clear who the frontrunners were. As people's results were tabulated, numbers and names were called up, starting at the bottom, to have their beards shaved off. Eddie was doing well. He didn't get called in the first batch, or the second, or even the third. But on the forth, his name was called, and he had to walk up to the shaving area.

Approaching Natasha, he smiled, "I gave it a good go." There were chairs, portable sinks with a water pump, basically everything needed for a shave, hair cut, with some barber's, who was sponsoring it, plastered over a lot of the materials. Eddie sat down in the chair, "we who are about to be defiled, salute you."


Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
As the first group got called to go to the chairs, Natasha nodded to Josie who yelled loudly to get some silence.

"We have a special guest with us tonight. For those that don't recognize her, Judge number 2 is none other than Natasha Romanoff. The Black Widow from the Avengers!" She motioned to Natasha who walked over to the chairs, giving a wave to the cheers of the crowd.

Now Natasha spoke. "Tonight is all in fun as we know but I'm going to take the opportunity to turn it into something a little more. I am supporting a charity that provides gifts to children in need here in the city. You're already parting with your beards. I'm asking you to part with a little extra money tonight, to give to the charity. If you give $20 or more, I will personally be giving your shave."

She reached over to the barber she had spoken to earlier, taking something in her hand. With a flick of her wrist, the straight edge razor was opened. "With this."

Venom has posed:
Many of them men were inebriated, not realising the magnitude of what was being offered. Others were cheap, since they had to pay for all the booze they had already drank. And others wanted a professional to do it. The fact she was doing it with a straight razor also scared some off. So, it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

When Eddie finally got to his point, he opened his wallet, pulling out all the cash he had, which was surprisingly close to $800, and he donated it all to the charity. He laid back in the chair, "I'm all yours, Natasha."


Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
First was the warm cloth which had been placed over his face before they started. Then there was the foamy cream to help keep things comfortable for him. Natasha gave the razor a fresh stropping before scooting up next to him.

"You sure you trust me?" she said low although she was smiling. She had no idea how much he had given. It was just a request for $20 after all. A lot of folks were donating, even though few were brave enough to have someone with a razor at their throat.

Her skills were quite good. She had obviously done this a few times. At some point, she had been undercover at a barber shop and learned the skills. Nevermind she knew how to use a razor for more nefarious things.

The razor slid across his skin carefully, taking away bits of hair which were cleaned off the blade before the next stroke. It didn't take long really. She wiped his face dry and smiled. "Not even a nick."

Venom has posed:
Eddie looked up at her, his eyes just managing to peek above the warm cloth that rested there. "With all my heart," Eddie said, smiling through the foamy cream. He looked like Santa Clause with all of that stuff on him. He enjoyed it. It was relaxing and it was nice. He could smell her scent, perfume, deodorant, whatever it was, being so close. And she was good. Very good at it.

When it was over, he smiled back up at her, feeling warm to see her smile. She rarely smiled. So often she was all business. But it was nice seeing her relax and have fun. "Are you sure," he asked, teasing, "I'm pretty sure I got nicked here," and he pointed to a spot on his cheek." There was no nick there, or anywhere else on him. He winked and laughed.


Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"I mean I /can/ nick you if you want," Natasha said, brandishing the straight edge a moment. Then she went to clean it, prepping for the next one.

More announcements, more getting shaved. Only one more for her to take care of though.

By the time it was all over, there was almost 3K gathered up by Josie for the charity. That should be a lot of clothes and presents for needy children. Of course, 800 of that was from Eddie. If she found out, she probably would give some of it back.

Venom has posed:
Of course Eddie didn't want to be nicked, "oh, no, no need to nick me... again." He winked and got out of the chair, giving Nat an abrupt hug, "thanks for the shave." He ran his hands over it, "so soft and smooth, like a baby's bottom, wouldn't you say?" Now he was pushing it.

It was fortunate that by the time Natasha found out how much Eddie had given, the money was already on its way to the charity, as Josie had sent a wire transfer and was going to deposit the cash later that night, as she often did, with Barney there to watch and ensure that nothing happened, as most cash drops were.

Eddie and Nat would have a few more vodkas, chatting, enjoying the music, and the night where she didn't have to be an Avenger, and he didn't have to be a... well, escaped felon, vigilante, hero, whatever he was? Though because of her announcement, a few people did come up for her autograph, or for a photo. Eddie had to hold a lot of cameras that night. But it was all worth it.