12183/Needing advice from the Jade Lady

Needing advice from the Jade Lady
Date of Scene:	15 September 2020
Location:	Point Break's Room, Avengers Mansion
Synopsis:	Thor asks Jennifer for help with a lady. Ends up talking to Simon about the upcoming 'Emily' awards and conversation regarding stealing Nat's shampoo.
Cast of Characters:	Thor, She-Hulk, Hawkeye (Barton), Wonder Man

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Thor has posed:
"Jennifer! Where art thou?! I need your help!"

When does Thor ever need help? It seems right now. As he strides into the large room, he is dressed in a pair of worn down jeans and a snug white t-shirt that clings to him like static. His long blonde hair is sprawled across his shoulders and there is a bit of panic amongst his blue eyes. He must have left his hammer back in his room because he's not holding it, nor does he seem to be in any type of trouble.

"For a woman who is so tall and green, you are terribly hard to find!"

She-Hulk has posed:
    Jen's in shorts and a t-shirt herself. It's comfy clothes, and it's summer. She looks over, confused. "Hey, Thor. What's up?" She's just been getting in a little bit of relaxation time. She's stretched out along a couch, legs propped up at the end, with a few papers in her hand, which she sets on her stomach as she looks over to him.

"We have GOT to get you a cell phone." she replies, when he comments on how hard she is to find.

Thor has posed:
There is a loud scoff from the God of Thunder as he shakes his head. "The last time I tried to use one of those devices, I kept cracking the screen or losing them. Besides, shouting is far more effective than a text message." As he makes his way over to her, he folds his arms over his broad chest, tilting his head down towards her.

"Jennifer, I need help with a woman. I know, I know, you are thinking to yourself .. Thor, you are incredibly handsome, powerful and worthy to carry the hammer Mjolnir, how can you possibly need help with a woman? Well, the thing is, she is a mortal woman named Jane. I've known her when I was .. ah .. Donald Blake. She does not know that I was once that man."

There is a loud clear of his throat. "And it's her birthday.. was .. a few days ago. I wish to get her a gift. Tell me, what would a woman want for a birthday gift that is not the head of my enemy ... or armor .." He trails off. "Do I get her flowers?"

She-Hulk has posed:
"Flowers are /usually/ a safe bet. But I'd need to know more about her to give you a better idea on presents, Thor. What does she do? What does she like?" Jen swings herself up to sitting, setting the papers to the side, then stands. "Also, what does she look like? Knowing colors can be important for jewelry or clothes."

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
He probably caught bits of the conversation as he was walking in, because the grin on Hawkeye's face tells that he did. "Best to ask her," he says, almost laughing.
Bowls of hot chili in hand - since when does he care about carpets, especially paid by Stark, he finds a spot in a couch, obvisouly intent on witnessing this interesting conversation. "Don't mind me, guys."

Thor has posed:
"Well -- she works in a hospital. She is a doctor. She is also beautiful." Thor says as he gives a firm nod of his head, as if that explains everything on what she looks like. "Unquestionably beautiful." It takes him a moment before he clears his throat.

"Oh. Brown hair and brown eyes. She has a fair complexion. Small in stature, but not tiny." He holds his hand up to about chest high on him, then a little bit lower. He squints one eye as if he was really trying to measure the proper height.

"Do I get her jewelry? She does not know that I know her. She only met me once as .. Thor. God of Thunder and Lightning. So, you see my problem? I wish to deliver her a gift. Do you think she will get excited, or nervous?" He jerks his chin upwards to Clint, his nose sniffing at the scent of chili, followed by a lick of his lips.

She-Hulk has posed:
"Okay...so...oh. Wait. She doesn't know...oy. Secret identities." She considers. "Well, the problem is that you'd probably need to have a /reason/ to give her a present. If the God of Thunder drops in out of the sky and just hands her a present for no reason, she's not going to know WHAT to think."

She sniffs once, as Clint comes in, and hmphs a little. "What, you didn't bring enough to share?" she teases him, before looking back to Thor. "No jewelry if she doesn't know you know her." Jen looks thoughtful. "Are there any really nice Asgardian flowers that don't grow on Earth? Flowers are a good "intro" present, and that would show you put some thought into it."

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
With a mock protective gesture for his bowl of chili, given the look on Thor's face and Greenie's question, the Archer shakes his finger as a *no you can't have it* sign.

"Y'know, if you give me her phone number, I'd be more than happy to deliver her any gift." Ah! there's nothing more thrilling than annoying a god, especially Thor... man, Thor in love. Hawkeye is visibly trying his best not to burst into laughters.

Thor has posed:
There is a loud scoff from Thor. "I do not need you to shoot her with an arrow, Clint. You are not cupid, even if you have perfect aim." He folds his arms over his chest again, cracking his neck to one side. "I could get her Asgardian flowers." He says in agreement. "They glow and attract the largest of insects. You should see them! They are as big as your cars and their stingers are sharper than swords! They put up quite a fight when roused to anger." He rumbles in his throat with a gleeful grin along his face.

"Thank you Jennifer, you are a wise woman. I knew you would be helpful." He then starts over towards Clint. He's going to get a bite of that chili.

She-Hulk has posed:
Jen seems to take it with aplomb. Even if Thor brings Asgardian flowers here, there aren't any Asgardian insects here. She hopes. She manages the smile anyway. "Wisest woman around, Thor." She's pretty sure that there's not going to be a lot of luck getting the chili from Clint, but the kitchen may be another story.

Wonder Man has posed:
Somewhere within the mansion there is the sound of someone trampling about the halls like a herd of rabid wild elephants. Someone with a deep, sonorous, well-trained voice is shrieking like a mad man about 'Emmy Buzz' and careening about the mansion like an utter mad man.

It has to be Simon, the prodigal one. He's getting closer, hooting and hollering about emmys and dreams, and it's amazing, and where the heck is everyone! Inarticulate whoops and bellows of excitement can be heard.

It approaches.

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
Man, who knew eating chili could be so hazardous. He's chuckling so hard by now, the hot meal threatens to meet Stark's ridiculously pricy carpet any moment. Which adds to the bout of laughter hardly repressed by the archer. A very dull day suddently turns interesting.

"Wha?! Hey, I know women, 'member, married twice already and..." He pauses, realizing that he doesn't really want to go in that direction.

Watching Thor moving closer and feeling his chili suddenly becoming a target, he backs off slightly over the couch. He's about to add something, when he hears the trampling. "Oh, this is gonna be fun."

Thor has posed:
As he takes a few more steps towards Clint, Thor looks as if he may 'attack', but it's the sound of Simon rumbling his way through the halls that catches his attention. His brows lift upwards as he tilts his head over, then gives a shout. "Wonder Man! Art thou in danger?"

By Odin's beard, he hopes he is. He could always go for a good brawling, even if it does causes Tony's insurance rates to go up.

Wonder Man has posed:
He is not faster than a speeding locomotive. He also is not wearing a bustier and a tiara. That is maybe a disappointment. A lesser Wonder, as he puts it. Still, Wonder Man comes running into the room. "They are talking about Emmys! We have only put out three episodes and they are talking Emmys!" Simon is close to pubescent shrieking in joy. Thor he rushes over to, attempting to give the man a hug that would shatter other people. If Simon manages to grasp the god, it merely is a good bear hug to the Asgardian. "Your hair looks great!" Simon yells, apparently unable to control his volume he is so excited. "Emmy! For a science show! Thor! An Emmy! Maybe! I can't too excited!"

Looks like he failed that mission.

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
Ack! He should have known better! That boisterous ungodly shout did it! Jumping at the Asgardian yell, Hawkeye manages to catch the bowl of hot chili before it drops on the pricy carpet, and instead warm chili half drops on Hawkeye's lap. Stiffling a cry of pain while worrying for the fate of his unborn children, the archer grabs what he can, oh, Molino wool jeté will do just perfectly. He's quite happy for the distraction caused by Simon's antics.

"Hey, so when are you gettin' an Oscar? Make sure to invite me."

That trademarked Hawkeye grin still adorns his face, but between hot chili where it should not be, and annoying a god and an indestrutible man at once, might be getting a bit too hot.

Thor has posed:
As he is grasped in a hug, Thor returns it as well! He has no clue what's going on, but his teammate is happy. "Congrats brother!" He roars out. "I hope this Emily girl is beautiful and wise!" As he lets him go, he gives a wider grin as he tosses his hair.

"It is, isn't it? Do not tell Natasha, but I have been using her shampoo for weeks now. It smells like oranges and makes my hair shine like a thousand suns. She is quite the wizard."

He looks over towards Clint, then down towards the chili mournfully.

Wonder Man has posed:
"You don't get Oscars for the 'Alien Hunter' films." Simon replies to Clint without an iota of a negative emotion. "Even if ALien Hunter 5: The Revengeance was a kick ass film." Simon admits. His grin almost cracks open his face, it is so wide.

"Good to see you, Clint." He leans over to 'gently' chuck Clint in the arm.

To Thor, Simon nods. "I could smell the oranges. I use a mango one, because apparently Ionic hair can be a little oily." He wrinkles his nose. "I need a little more astringent than just?" His red orbs slowly turn back to Clint as he realizes just whom he is trading hair care tips in front of?

"So, uhm, pummel anyone who really deserved it recently?" Simon asks after a soft cough and a straightening of his shoulders. He actually deepens his voice a little as he asks that.

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
That did it! Emily girl! Barely able to place the half empty bowl of chili on the coffee table without dropping it, the Archer then doubles over, laughing like a hyena.

"A... thousand... suns..."

There's nothing like the Mansion for having fun. Even the "gentle" brotherly hit on his arm that might earn him a nice bruise, can't stop his amusement.

"Gee guys, really... Don't tell me you tried her night gown to get a softer skin now?" He pauses, sensing that he's just getting privy to some nice blackmail stuff.

With an air of seriousness - at least, he tries his best - he then adds, "Simon, we have something worse than any foes... we're in deep trouble... Thor... is... in love!"

Thor has posed:
There is a loud scoff from Thor as he turns his blue eyes upon Clint in disdain. As he is laughed at, he folds his arms again over his chest, then glances over to Simon. "He laughs to cover up his jealousy that he is in the presence of the two strongest Avengers."

What about Hulk? Fuck Hulk.

"I am not in love! Silence, fake Cupid! Now I know why Bruce is always smashing things." He has a bit of a grin along his face as he shrugs his shoulders upwards. His broad, mighty shoulders.

"No, I do not put Natasha's nightgowns on. She would clearly stab us in our sleep."

Wonder Man has posed:
"Well." Simon crosses his heavily muscled arms over his chest, silently but subtly flexing to demonstrate the ionic might within them. He holds the pose for just a moment , then looks over at Thor, grinning still. "I think he is more jealous about how shiny our hair is." Simon quips. His smile is without malice. He just doesn't have the heart to tell Thor that Emily is not a girl. "You have a girlfriend, Thor? How? I mean, I would figure a good hug and her head would pop off?" And that's the hint of insecurity, and the root of Simon's ego. He's scared to death of what he is. "I, uhm, would need a sturdy girl. I think." He pauses. "And Clint, I will have you know there is no way a man's shoulders would fit inside Natasha's nightgowns. Maybe your slender frame." The teasing is gentle. "You should hit the gym with Thor and myself. We'll get you swole."

To Thor, he notes as an aside. "I think she would stab us while we were awake too. In the face. Send a message." He wrinkles his nose a little.

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
Ok, annoying others is fun, being nagged at is definitely not. But hey, why ruin some good ol' time brotherly roughing? *Play along, Hawskter*, the archer keeps the grin on his face.

"Lemme confirm somethin' here, guys," he starts, "You guys get the muscles, right... I get the girls."

He pauses, seemingly lost in memories for a moment. "Oh..." The grin widens on his face as he adds, "And Tasha does a lot... I mean, a /lot/ of things at night, that I recall, stabbin' wasn't among them."

Sensing that now would be a good time to turn the attention back to Thor, he adds, "Wondy, Thor wants to know what to give to his girl for her birthday. Any suggestion?" This could be interesting.

Thor has posed:
"That's not what I heard, Clint. I heard that on Thursdays, she's would be the one doing th' stabbing." Thor raises his brows upwards at him, then glances over to Simon and lets out a bark of loud laughter. "Anyways, no, I do not have a girlfriend. I am currently admiring one. Her name is Jane. We worked together in my old life and I fancied her back then. But, now that I am the God of Thunder and Lightning, I do not know how to approach her in such a manner. I am sure it would be inappropriate for a God like myself to court a mortal, but when I saw her the other day, my heart pounded."

His face scrunches up some in thought, then lets out a loud huff. "I would prefer a sturdy girl as well, if I had my choice. But, alas. Tis' not many worthy about here."

Wonder Man has posed:
"Well." Simon considers. "Something that no one else can give her. Asgardian jewelry. Small. Tasteful. Women like jewelry. Take the time to make the colors match something about her. Put some real thought into it." Simon says this quietly, and with some regret. "Do -not- do like I do, and forget, and end up buying her flowers and candy bars from a gas station on the way over to her house to beg her not to be upset because you never showed up at the restaurant and she had to eat alone and pay for her own meal because you were an idiot and forgot everything because your agent called with work?" Simon pulls in a slow, soft, quiet breath. "That's a thing. I have done it." He is not proud of this. "Learn from my mistakes."

He clears his throat. "Also, look, some ladies just want your time. So a little movie and the couch. I did a rom-com a few years ago/ It went straight to Blu-Ray, but don't let that dissuade you. I play the bumbling good guy. Uhm, it was called, uhm, what? Oh, yeah? Mister Wonderful! You should totally also watch that with her."

If Thor had a lick of sense he would not.

Simon shrugs. "Look. Just be yourself. Be honest. Be sincere. Be vulnerable. Be humble." He pauses as it dawns on him why he's alone. "Well, shit." He sighs and mutters.

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
Awright, there goes the fun. No point replying to Thor at this point, the mood is gone. Wondy has a way to down people, just like that. Sometimes it hurts more than his punch. You fight along a guy for years, you get to respect him. Even the archer can reckon that. There a silence for a moment, as this downs on Hawkeye. But hey, don't let this turn into a soap opera.

Hawkeye clears his throat, "Well, you know Wondy, Thor managed to just do that," he says. "He already missed her birthday."

He then stands, and stretches, "Well guys, I got some... hrm, lady to meet, so if you'll excuse me."