15396/Nice Juggs

Nice Juggs
Date of Scene:	30 July 2023
Location:	Bar with No Name
Synopsis:	In which I, Deadpool, annoy my way into an interview with The Jobbernaut! Wait, he's going to rip me in half if I don't say his name right. JUGGERNAUT. There.
Cast of Characters:	Juggernaut, Deadpool

---

Juggernaut has posed:
The mercenary line of work is not for the faint of heart, especially when centered around an area like New York, considering the colorful assortment of indivdiuals who call themselves mercs and the abundance of super powered individuals that crowd each other out as they jostle for attention from potential clients. Rivalries can be fierce, arguements dangerous and fights deadly but business is business and the show must go on, as they say.

As a result, even in neutral ground like the infamous Bar With No Name, it helps to have a reputation when you're passing through since you never know who you might encounter.

Few, if any, have a reputation quite like The Juggernaut. His presence practically fills the bar up despite its accomodations being capable of entertaining his gigantic bulk and kaiju like presence. The floor rumbles and the walls shake as he passes by tables with wide eyed and silent criminals and villains giving him long stares and or quick shuddering glances. It doesn't help that he's armored up as well. His red-brown gear wrapping about his monstrous physique tightly and creaking and groaning under the fiberous movements of his bulk. His helmet is off at least though he's skull capped and face masked so as to keep prying minds out.

"You know what I"m hear for, especially since it aint Quiz Night." he rumbles sardonically upon reaching the bar, vast shadow falling over Deke, the bartender who looks rather comfortable as if this is a normal happening. "Make it strong. Make it quick. Not that how strong it is really matters.."

The room shakes as he sets his bulk down upon a stool reinoforced for his ilk. Too many chairs and pool tables have been crushed under the likes of Rhino, Ulik or other heavyweights for them to not have something more sturdy even if Cain tops off as among the heaviest of such brutes.

Deadpool has posed:
The Bar With No Name is not exactly one of the greatest locations for Wade Wilson. Or Deadpool, for that matter. No, he spends his time at a much more established mercenary bar since he's gotten a much bigger budget due to some hostile takeovers and monopolization of companies. It's a bunch of nonsense really that doesn't mean anything at all.

Deadpool has been sitting in whatever booth he chose with his Mickey Mouse Ears on top of his standard outfit. It's a rare moment that Deadpool is not dressed like Deadpool. For now, though, he's playing Candy Crush on somebody's phone and it looks like he's losing. "Ugh. See, this is why I prefer the Birds that're Angry. So much more satisfying. Also, I don't suck." With a disinterested shrug, Deadpool hurls the phone over his shoulder to smash into the wall and smash it does!

Then everything starts shaking and Deadpool is leaping up and onto the table. "NO, WORSE! LAWNMOWER!"

The Honey, I Shrunk The Kids reference is likely lost on everyone else in the Bar and then Deadpool's masked eyes gravitate towards the biggest of all: The Juggernaut. After which he does a double double take. "NO, WORSER! THE JUGGERNAUT!"

Deadpool hops down off the table and skips his way across the room so that he can hop up onto the bar and sprawl out in some awkwardly sexy pose. "Hey there, Big Fella." The mask brows waggle up and down somehow because of course they would. He then turns to Deke and holds up two fingers while offering in a raspy whisper, "Two Straws."

Let the annoyance begin.

Juggernaut has posed:
It's not that his night was going -good- per se.. In fact, he's been mostly sour of late. Repeated attempts at calling upon the power of Cyttorak by others have resulted in him being summoned here and summoned there. Then he ran into that damn succubus who seemed to have forgotten that she sent him to Hell, which was just a funny joke to Cyttorak. Then work had dried up for abit and so on and so on and so on.

So he's not been having a -great- time lately.

..But it wasn't 'this'.

"Aw no." he grumbles as he hears Deadpool call out his name. His fingers drum solidly upon the bar counter top, sending rumbles rippling through it as Deke eyes it and him. ".Juggernaut.." he begins, as a reminder of the unspoken rules about tearing the place apart well before Deadpool has actually leapt into place and is sprawled out along bar counter between the other two.

"No. No straws." countermands Juggernaut with a glare at Deke and then another glare at Deadpool. "What the hell d'ya want? I'm not in the mood for pranks, oddly specific references or frat boy humor right now!"

He then eyes the Mickey Mouse ears and a look of befuddlement manages to come through his skullcap mask as he stares at it and then reaches up to try and take it from Deadpool's head. "What're you wearing -these- for in here---You know what? Nevermind. Don't tell me..."

Deadpool has posed:
"Well, gee willikers, Mr. Naut. You've just described my entire schtick! The only thing missing was random acts of gratuitous violence! And I haven't had anyone to decapitate in at least six months!" Deadpool plants the back of his hand against his head as he pretends to faint. "I'm starting to wonder if I've lost my edge. Or if maybe I should put my face on a milk carton. Y'know, really put my new advertising budget to use."

Deadpool sits up on the bar and lets his legs dangle over the side. He reaches back to grab a bottle and just starts pouring shots and handing them to random people as they pass by. Hopefully, Deke won't notice.

"Oh, these? Yeah, just a little Product Placement." Deadpool holds up his foot to show that 'DISNEY' has been scrawled there on the bottom of said boot in almost the same manner as a certain toy cowboy that has a story. "Gotta' pay the bills. At least until my Podcast takes off."

Deadpool pours another shot and then hands the bottle off to a random passerby for more blaming on other people. "Speaking of bills, a little California Raisin sung me a rumor that you might be starting your own Brad Pitt flick. Daddypool wants in."

Juggernaut has posed:
The armored giant just..stares at the Disney logo before looking away and bellowing, "Deke! Where's that drink!" That seems to have been enough of a trigger for him.

Deke finally makes his way back around after snatching the missing bottle back, "Off the bar." he demands of Deadpool before trying to reach shove a massive keg of ..something..towards Juggernaut.

"Ulik brought this in." he offers to Cain, "See if you get a buzz.." He gives Deadpool one final look and then steps away.

Juggernaut takes the drink and then finally grumbles an answer towards Deadpool, "Who been gossipin' behind my back> My ears are burning. Yeah I might have an idea or two about a way to vent steam without knocking over half the city in the process....But..you aint exactly the type of person that gives me 'stable business man' vibes. I don't need to wake up to find all my earned money invested in stocks in some crazy amusement park or something...."

Deadpool has posed:
"Okay, that's unfair. I run a semi-successful mercenary business called Deadpool, Inc. We're in the red. Or is it the black?" Deadpool actually has to scratch his covered head while he tries to remember. "Can it be both?" Deadpool waves a hand to dismiss those thoughts. "Anyway, somebody elses handles my investment portfolio. I gave them strict instructions to invest in anything but cows. So, believe me, I know what I'm doing."

As if to prove himself, Deadpool's blatant ignoring of Deke has him leaning all the way behind the bar and scrounging around for peanuts or pretzels or anything. Enough so that he can pop back up and start flicking them at the eyes of random patrons. He's definitely not trying to cause a bar brawl but he's certainly just being a bit of a prankster himself. Or at least seeing if he can put someone's eye out. Flick!

"Anyway, I can't remember who spilled the beans but they are probably dead by now. If not, they should be." Deadpool wags a finger at the general notion that this bean spiller could still be out there somewhere. "You should hire me to take care of that for you. And then hire me to MC this little operation. I've got serious microphone checka skills, yo." Deadpool twists his Mickey Mouse Ears sideways. "Word to Mother Theresa."

Juggernaut has posed:
"If yer in th red then yer losing money!" Juggernaut's voice rumbles with exasperation and frustration but he can't seem to bring himself to either shoo Deadpool orr or attempt to turn him into a fine red mist or paste on the top op of the bar at the moment.

For one there are the 'rules' of the bar and for the other..who wants to clean all that uP? Regnerawtion or no..somebody has to disinefect all that.

He takes a long pull of his drink adn then sets the drink down as he considers. His brow knits together as if two halfs are at wawr within him and then he asks..with clear hesitation in his voice.

"..MC it..?" as if daring Deadpool to pitch that further.

Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool finally gets someone in the eye and slides off the bar to make it look like he wasn't doing anything. His back is definitely to the open area and he makes sure that Disney Logo is still prominently displayed for all to see. Advertisers, right?

"You know, MC. Master of Ceremonies. A moniker that has been rerouted to the illustrious hip-hop culture but also can be used to describe a host for an event's festivities." Deadpool holds out his phone so that Juggernaut can see the screen. "At least that's what Urban Dictionary says."

With a shrug, Deadpool finishes out his pitch. "You're not exactly the most charismatic giant lump of coal in the world. So maybe you should let me handle getting the butts into the seats. Especially since I carry my own Gorilla Glue."

Juggernaut has posed:
"I -know- what an MC is!" snaps Juggernaut, his bellow probably pushing peanuts off the bar and rattling glass.

"I'm not an idiot! I mean .. -you-! Why should I hire -you- as an NC!"

Is this an interview??

"Ugh.." Juggernaut rubs his nose and then sniffs, "I'm not even for sure how this is going to work yet. I don't have the tech in place yet or a place secured in Madripoor.. But it's possile. I just need to ..figure out the logistics or hire somebody to do that for me."

He finishes the drink off and then sets it down upon the bar. HIs huge hand spasms lightly and the metal keg crumples up like tinfoil, vanishing into the depths of his gigantic hand.

"..Besides, if you play MC you might end up just getting people wanting to climb into the ring with you to shut you up.."

The possiblity does have merit though and he ponders more thoughtfully now. "Huh.."

Deadpool has posed:
"Now you see where I'm going with this." Deadpool looks off to the side and whispers, "Even I didn't know where I was going with this." He doesn't even know if Cain can hear that but he says it nonetheless. Deadpool's always talking to random things that aren't there.

Weird.

"Well, I can't exactly solve your Madripoor problem but I can get you the big brain you need to make this whole thing happen. My ol' pal Weasel could use some screen time. I'll find out what he's up to, kidnap him and force him to help us." Wade holds his hand out in front of Cain's face and makes the money fingers. "For the right price, of course."

Juggernaut has posed:
"Screen ti--nevermind."

It's not all just flying over his head but one can only take so much.

"I'll think about it." he rumbles, "I aint got no shortage of big brains. I could always reach out to Tom or something."

Ah yes, the missing in action Black Tom Cassidy. Juggernaut's been a one man show for awhile now but he can't just not consider his ol'buddy, ol'pal.

"I'll think about it." he repeats, frowning inwardly at the thought of it all but at the same time utterly unable to just flat out dismiss the feasiblity of it and how it may solve some of his problems.

That seems to be good enough for him. He turns and begins wordlessly heading for the back exit of the place, pausing only long enough to produce a few bills from - somewhere - to set on the bar for Deke to collect.

Deadpool has posed:
"Sounds fab, Juggy Baby! We'll do lunch! Call me!"

Deadpool is waving after Cain whilst also turning his attention back to the bar where Deke is waiting. With a few other patrons of the establishment that are not happy with how things have went down this evening. In fact, the look on their faces make it seem like the 'Rules' are going to be on a small hold for just a few moments.

"... Welp. This is probably going to hurt. Unless I can fade to black in time!"

Fade to--

"OW! OKAY OKAY! UNCLE!"