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Date of Scene: 08 August 2023
Location: Derby Queens - Brooklyn
Synopsis: Roller Derby Babes are a terrible thing to waste. Ah well.
Cast of Characters: Deadpool, Negasonic Teenage Warhead

Deadpool has posed:
The Derby Dozen.

If there was ever a group of badass women that probably shouldn't be as dope as they are, it's the Derby Dozen. Some insanely talented roller derby assassins with tricked out weapons, rocket skates, armor... it's a whole thing. And whether or not the Derby Dozen operates out of the Derby Queens location regularly or if they are just using it for this moment right here? Well, that's neither here nor there.

Right now? They've decided to spend this time counting and separating their latest take. It's a lot of money. Probably too much money. But they do have to split it twelve ways so that could have everything to do with the armored trucks they keep hitting. There's likely going to have to be a story written about this uptick in armored truck heists soon.

Anyway, while the Derby Dozen are doing their thing that's all relaxing but also while they are still in costume, there's something going on outside. And what's going on outside is the taxicab of violence pulling up outside of the building. And inside sits the only and the only... Deadpool.

"Alright. We're here. Keep the cab running, Brown Panther. This should only take a handful slices and a sprinkle of dices. We'll be back in a Flash Gordon." Deadpool's rolling down the window (manually) so that he can use his Viewfinder Binoculars to check out the warehouse. Every time he pulls the handle down, he gets another style of techno-visual readout. Weasel really outdid himself on those.

"Ready, Ripley?" Deadpool doesn't even look at the seat next to him where his trusty not-quite-sidekick is probably still on her phone.
Negasonic Teenage Warhead has posed:
The person beside Wade is, in fact, on her phone. Held in both hands down in her lap, lazily paying about as much attention to her surroundings as any Apex Predator that fears nothing. Or respects nothing... One or both of these is true.

Wade's quips are only worth about as much as an eye roll from the gothy dressed woman. With her purple and black hair cut short and shaved on the sides, pulled into a tiny little ponytail. Her leather jackets with chains, leather pants with chains, and boots with more god damn chains. "Sure." She answers the question, pushing open the cab door with her foot so she can crawl out as lazily as she was sitting.

"Derby Dozen." Her lip curls, eyes rolling yet again, "This sounds like a spectacularly ignorant group of woman who would benefit greatly from a role-model." Not quite a teenager anymore, is Negasonic. She's even in college and everything.

A community college, but it counts.
Deadpool has posed:
As per usual, Deadpool pays Dopinder with a Crisp High Five and stumbles out of the vehicle because there's no way he's as graceful as the Negasonic One. He never really is. Or it's just and act. Who can ever tell when Wade's involved? In fact, he doesn't even pay attention to the warehouse until he's gotten the door closed and finishes blowing kisses at Dopinder through the cab window. It's just that kind of party for the Pooligan.

"We should tell them that while we kill them all. Maybe in their next life they'll come up with something better. Or at least merchable! I wouldn't be caught dead wearing a Derby Dozen t-shirt. And what if one of them gets knocked up! Or married! There can't always just be thirteen of them, can there?"

Deadpool's quips and thoughts are just pouring from his masked mouth as he goes for the cool walking up motion towards the dang warehouse. "So what do you think? Should we knock or do you wanna' like..." And this is the part where Deadpool looks like he's trying to pantomime whatever it is that Negasonic's power does. It looks really bad and has more of a Constipated Wade body language vibe than anything even remotely close to the powers and abilities of the Negasonic Older Now Warhead but at least he's trying?

What a weirdo.
Negasonic Teenage Warhead has posed:
Negasonic shrugs indifferently at the prospect of killing them, harkoning back to days when she was much younger and of ill intent to engage in reprehensible behavior due to her association with the Mansion. "Whatever." It's as good as an agreement, but a complicated answer to a question. Which is what he asked. As with most things, they'll be playing it by the seat of their pants.

Walking along side Wade towards the warehouse with not even a glance back in Dopinder, she flexes and unflexes her fingerless gloved hands. Whether this is to build up kinetic energy for some nuclear level blast capable of rendering the population of the warehouse to zero or the only expression of nervous energy that would ever be see on the oft bristly young woman? Who can know when Ellie's involved.

Pool's pantomime, however, draws her attention. Distractedly, perhaps, but she glances over with a cut of her eyes to the side. "What the fuck are you doing?" Murmured, "Stop doing that... I swear to god if you start dancing in there, I'm leaving." It's an empty threat.

She never leaves.

What a hypocrite.
Deadpool has posed:
"Okay, first of all, I dance great. Do you even follow me on TikTok? @DancePool. I go viral every time there's a Con." The offense that Deadpool feels doesn't seem to actually last long because he's now having to pep his step to catch back up with Negasonic since there's no way in actual hell he'd ever develop the abilities needed to do what she does.

"I say we knock. Maybe they'll be as dumb as their name." Deadpool slides right into a skipping motion as he heads for the door. He takes his time reaching up and knocking heavy-handedly onto the warehouse doors. "Hello! Avon calling! We're here to sell you products you don't need!" Deadpool says this in between banging on the door. "We're definitely not assassins hired to kill you on sight! Promise!" Deadpool looks back at Negasonic and gives the 'we got this' thumbs up.

Inside, the Derby Dozen are scrambling. Immediately. Arming up. Gearing up. Scooping up the money into duffle bags. They don't like the sound of that. Really, nobody should be knocking in the first place so that alone is too much of a red flag. They already know they're going to have to fight their way out of here. Maybe.

At least none of them are going to answer the door. That's a relief.
Negasonic Teenage Warhead has posed:
Does Ellie follow his dancing Tiktok? Really?

"No." She says dismissively.

Yes she does.

Usually to post mean and hateful comments that keep the comment section buzzing.

It counts...

She ignores him skipping. Honestly she ignores most things Deadpool does. She ignores most things EVERYONE does, though. On a hierarchy of people she pays much attention to, Wade actually ranks fairly high. So that, too, counts.

Until he knocks. It gets about the response she'd expected, even if the quip was so-so. Wiggling her hand with a curl of her lip to indicate as much to his thumbs up. Because they are diffinitely arming up. "Move."

Flames are already starting to roll off her shoulders like solar flares leaping across the surface of the sun. It's the only indication that she's about to pop... and pop she does. Hurling her hands forward with a kinetic blast of energy errupting from her palms that shatters the door, part of the wall, and anyone stupid enough to come towards either one of them.

Debris flies in further into the warehouse. Into which Ellie motions with a wave of her hand, "You're up, Usher."
Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool practically leaps out of the way to watch this awesomeness with nothing but awe on his masked features. He's actually laying down on the ground with his chin cupped in his hands and his feet swinging back and forth while he watches Negasonic do that thing she does so well. He doesn't even bother to hide his excitement. "I love that SO much!" Deadpool's back up and onto his feet with a practiced movement that shows how flexible he really is. Underneath all of the chatter and bravado.

"By the way, I am completely behind Keke Palmer on that whole thing." Wade reaches up for his katanas and draws them out while just heading for the place where the door used to be. There's definitely a nice smoking gaping hole of awesomeness for them to just walk through at this point. "Hashbrown Free Keke!" Wade and his obscure references to pop culture and what not.

Wade's swords enter the building first and the Merc with a Mouth follows with a casuality that probably shouldn't exist considering he's coming to kill a bunch of hardened criminals. "Ugh. Dammit. I was SO hoping you gals weren't hot." Deadpool whines at the Derby Dozen minus one since the explosion took out one them already. There's blood leaking out from underneath debris and everything. "Sigh. What a waste of babes."

The Derby Dozen (Minus One) are already rocket skating towards Wade, Ellie and the Giant Hole in the Wall because of various things like revenge, escape and general thug tactics of fighting. It's a swarm of metal hockey sticks, bladed hockey sticks, rocket powered skates, spiked shoulder and elbow pads, the works. And they are all ready to fight for their fallen comrade babe! Or, more likely, the money.

Wade calls over his shoulder as he brings his blades up to defend against the oncoming onslaught, "Let me know if you want to hook up with any of 'em! I won't kill that one!"
Negasonic Teenage Warhead has posed:
Ellie is all casual indifference as Deadpool gets his swords out and ready to render the population (remaining) in the warehouse to zero. She steps through the debris field of her destructive kinetic bomb, ducking beneath a chunk of dangling concrete, and stands up atop the mound of rubble that is atop a puddle of Derby Blonde. This, at least, the two of them are in full agreement: This is a terrible waste of babe.

She'd never say it and it'd be impossible to decypher from her blaise expression, but she's thinking it.

Until Wade voices it...

Ellie rolls her eyes, "Don't be gross."

One of the Derby Eleven skates towards the source of destruction, but Negasonic isn't going to play it easy on them just because they're attractive. All that Xavier's training is coming around to pay dividens, when Ellie leaps up and rolls over the woman's shoulders who had bent over to try and gore her with the spiked shoulder pads.

Her fingers curl into the neckline of the pads, right at the base of her neck, as she comes off the tail end of her roll and yanks. Force in opposition of to momentum pulls the skater down with surprising impact given the force bubble that exists around Negasonic. Putting her face in perfect position to catch a size seven steel toe to the face... A kick Kurt would be proud of... He's German, they like soccer right?

"Get fucked."
Deadpool has posed:
This is the part where Deadpool is going to dance and dice his way through people. He's not really worried about any attacks upon his person because he heals like crazy. So his katanas are just in Tinder swipe mode as he's aiming to take off legs or arms or whatever gets close enough for him to hack off. It's just going to have to have to be a bloody mess.

"Gross? Me?" Deadpool stops long enough for a bladed hockey stick to stab through his chest from the back. "I just meant if you wanted to rehabilitate one or two!" Wade grabs a gun out of a holster and holds it over his shoulder to shoot the Derby Gurl in the face. "Not that one. She had a weird mole." She didn't. It's fine. And now Wade's going to have to get back to fighting with a hockey stick blade sticking out of his body.

The Leader, appropriately unnamed for potential sequel reasons, is decidedly not skating towards Ellie or Wade. Oh no, she's decided to focus on grabbing at last one or two duffle bags of cash and making with the skating towards an emergency exit. She can always rebuild. With more Derby Gurls. THE DERBY DOUBLE DOZEN! Or something. Anyway, it is definitely time to get the hell out.

"By the way, the client said we can keep whatever cash we find. As a bonus." Deadpool is so casual with this conversation while killing not-so-innocent roller skaters.
Negasonic Teenage Warhead has posed:
With blood gushing out of one's face, another Dirby girl leaps over a stack of crates towards Ellie, expecting to catch her from behind. She doesn't catch a boot to the face, but that's a consolation she'll have to take everyone's word for. Because she does not catch Negaonic unaware. She catches her fully aware and turning to point both fists in her direction with fiery red energy leaping off her leather jacket. Snakes of kinetic energy coiling up and lancing out in a concentrated explosion that rocks Ellie's arms backwards over her head like the cannon on a Man of War.

It hits the woman mid-air.

There's not a whole lot of her remaining it when it hits the ground. A couple partially connected chunks of viscera. A part of a leg... In retrospect, perhaps trying surprise an 'actual' walking Nuclear bomb is a poor life choice.

"That's why you needed a role-model." Because the leader of this group clearly isn't one. Scooping up bags of money and heading for one of the emergency exits. "Cool." They can keep whatever they find?

Ellie's low maintenance, but she goes through phones pretty quickly.

Tossing them for dramatic effect at dramatically appropriate moments... or trying to send a tweet in the middle of a gunfight. It's happened... Like now.

If she'd thought about it, she'd have had this prepared beforehand, but sometimes late is as better than never. Pointing at one of the remaining skaters who took up a defensive position behind some heavy looking machinary after seeing her friend explode. "stay." Ellie slips her phone from her backpocket and thumbs on a song from her playlist.


With the song playing, she slips her phone away and tilts her head side to side popping her neck. "Ugh... I wasted this song on these chumps."
Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool spots the leader trying to get away with the extra cash and frowns underneath his mask. "How Rude!" His Stephanie Tannerism happens and Deadpool throws his katana from across the room to stab through her and pin her to the damn wall so she can't make with the escape. "No Habla Amscray, El Babicita!" Deadpool's multilingual fail is covered up by his shoulders starting to shrug at the cool tunes that are suddenly available for everyone to hear. Or at the very least the acoustics in this damn warehouse are making it work.

"Welp. You guys are dead." Deadpool offers a shrug as he wanders away from the machinery of hiding and in the general direction of the no-longer escaping Derby Dozen leader. "You made her put on her young people music." Deadpool shakes his head and kicks the snack machine on his way over to the Derby Gurlest. He grabs his bag of chips and just wanders over.

"Watch this." Deadpool leans on the struggling woman, relieves her of both of her bags of money she was trying to abscond with, opens up his snack pack of chips and rolls his mask up enough to go to crunch town. "This is going to be both hot and gross at the same time. You're gonna' love it."

Crunch. Munch.

Cue The Horrific Killing Scene!
Negasonic Teenage Warhead has posed:
Two of the remaining Derby Girls figure if they can't take Ellie individually, they'll come at her from different angles. Certainly she can't fire those beams in two different directions. Walking through the rubble of broken concrete as they skate in big circles building up momentum and looping in towards the casually walking, slightly smoking, Neagonic Post-Teen Warehead.

She's really put upon that she played a cool song this late into the engagement.

So she lets them get pretty close before leaping up into the air with a blast of energy from the soles of her feet that propel into a aerial roll over. Suddenly the target of their attack isn't there, leaving them on a crash course for each other. One takes spiked shoulder pads in the chest, while the other tries to pull up short and falls forward into her impaled friend in a heap on the ground.

A booted foot lands beside her head... Ellie kicks her bladed hockey stick up into her hand and hurls it at the third, and final, Derby Girl. She's no expert at thrown weapons, but it still slips between the woman's legs as she sprints towards Negasonic. She trips up and comes down hard on the concrete, face first, and slides to a stop. Where she's met with a running Negasonic, who puts every ounce of strength into her five foot 'fuck off' frame into a kick against the side of the woman's head.

From high action, to glancing around slowly... Ellie shakes her head and fishes out her phone, stopping the music before the it's even reached the chorus. "Fucking wasted."
Deadpool has posed:
Wade didn't even get a chance to finish more than like two chips. But then he's tucking the chip bag into the Derby Leader's shirt. "Didn't I tell you it'd be awesome?" He pats her on the head and drags the duffle bags of money over to the table where the rest of everything is waiting.

"I'm sure that sexplosion you started all this off with has the cops on their way. So we should probably loot and scoot." A bag of money is tossed towards Negasonic before Deadpool sets about to scooping and looting whatever else is lingering around so that he can make a good bonus.

That done, the duffle bag gets hoisted up on his shoulder and another one grabbed from under the table. He waddles over towards the Derby Queen (maybe that's her name?) and tilts his head. "Sorry. That's one of my favorite katanas. So we're going to have to switch." He reaches back to yank the Hockey Blade out his back and stabs it through the Derby Queen to keep her pinned before snatching his katana out of her and sheathing it again. "You can keep the chips. They were totally stale." Wade gives a salute and turns to go meet up and do a cool slow motion walk out exit alongside Negasonic Not Another Teenage Warhead.

Like a couple of bosses.