2608/Tigger Momma Advice for the Lovelorn

Tigger Momma Advice for the Lovelorn
Date of Scene:	29 September 2017
Location:	Unknown
Synopsis:	Summary needed
Cast of Characters:	Okhotnik, Tendril

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Okhotnik has posed:
Some may joke about Diya never being in her room and always being out and about, but she really has been assigned a room in the Mansion. And the former Spetznaz soldier does spend time there and can be found there, sometimes. The one thing no one has been able to correct as yet is that while she has a rather nice bed in the room, she sleeps on the floor, covered at most by a blanket. She has relented, finally, to using one of the pillows from the bed, but that's as far as she has gone.

Nevertheless, Diya makes a point, following finishing the cleanup from breakfast in the kitchen and cafeteria, of coming back up to her room and cleaning the place to within an inch of its life. She even remakes the completely pristine bed every morning. She dusts every day. Vacuums every day. She waxes the hardwood floor once a week. And despite barely having a 'wardrobe', she hangs up and folds and puts away laundry every day.

One might almost think she was raised in military dormitories, subject to surprise inspections, for most of her life. Or something.

Tendril has posed:
    In the midst of finishing morning cleaning and organizing, then, there's a knock at the door. It's a little heistant, rather than forceful, as the door is mostly closed. But just after, Lexi's familiar voice says from outside. "Um, Diya? Are ya busy? Can I talk to ya?"

Okhotnik has posed:
The rather strak woman comes to the door and opens it, stepping back to admit Lexi into her room. "Come in." she offers, and then the ashen blonde Russian follows, closing the door after her. She gestures Lexi towards the bed, remembering that was the girl's prefered perch the last time they talked. She sits on the floor in front of Lexi, waiting. "You can always talk to me, if I am here." Times may change, but until then, sure.

Tendril has posed:
    Lexi pads in, taking off her sandals by the door, then padding over to slide up on the indicated bed, a bit gingerly seeing out neat and tidy it is, and not wanting to mess it up from her expression. She has a pensive expression today, frowning to herself, but thoughful. And she starts by apologizing.

    "Um...I know...this might not be yer thing ta...ta talk about. We never really have gotten ta talk about what things were like before ya joined up in the military or...or anythin' like that. And I want to!" the mauve girl assures the older woman. "I really do. I mean. Wanna hear more about ya. When yer ready ta talk about it, I mean." She puts her hands in her lap, pulling her legs up on the bed to sit crosslegged. It's not hard to tell that she's sort of working herself up to ask whatever she's going to ask.

    "It's just...I trust ya. You're...you're like family. An' I don't know who else ta talk about stuff like this with. I mean, there's Yana an' Dani, but it's not..." She looks frustrated. "I don't think they'd know what ta say."

Okhotnik has posed:
One benefit of Diya's arrangement of things is that she is sitting on the floor in front of Lex, so the girl looking down at her lap is looking her in the face; this allows her to read the girl's expression, to go with the plethora of scent and sound cues being given off. So the soldier has plenty to go on, here. Just very little context for it.

"I appreciate your trust." the Russian offers, a mild tension in her bare shoulders. "I can't say I believe I deserve it. But that doesn't mean I won't try to be worthy of it anyway, as best I can." She acknowledges her failings, of which there are too many to count. "I cannot promise I will know what to say, either. But if nothing else, Lex, I can listen." It's a sniper's trick: tuning in, focusing, hearing everything without reacting to any of it. She can do that.

Tendril has posed:
    Lexi inhales, then lets out a slow breath, before her gold eyes find yours as she leans forward. "I know. But yer honest 'bout it. An' I could use just...honesty." She purses her lips, then says slowly. "I, um...I'm a little unsure if I'm treating...um, no, that's not it." she says, frowing herself. "I'm...I'm not sure how...what ta do with...how Tabby's acting towards me. It's not bad, I mean!" she says, hurrying to clarify. "It's just...I feel like she's...she's like...really into me, but I don't know if it's good for her ta be...as inta me as she is?"

    She hesistates, then continues to explain, a bit haltingly as she tries to put it into words. "She...she had a real bad life. Before she came here. An' I think she feels like...she's just not really worth anythin', deep down. It's like...she feels like she can't be happy, an' if she is, it just means somethin's gonna go wrong. So she keeps scramblin' and tryin' ta prove how she feels about me, like I'm gonna be fickle and just drop her or somethin' one day with no warnin'." She gets a faintly frustrated look. "An' I keep tellin' her, it's not gonna happen. That I'm not gonna hide if there's somethin' wrong, an' that I'm not just...that it's not fake or somethin'. That just cuz she's happy doesn't mean it's gonna get taken away from her again, y'know?"

Okhotnik has posed:
Diya sits quietly and listens. She doesn't interrupt. She doesn't let a single expression cross her face. She just takes it all in. But inside, her guts are aswirl in confusion; Tabitha came to her, spoke to her. And now she is realizing that this is the truth: Tabitha refused to admit she was speaking of herself. But it's clear that's what she was doing. Now here is Lex, also looking for advice. And this is one area in which the soldier has no experience, no advice to offer.

"All I can really say to any of this, Lex, is that I understand some of how she feels and how she is reacting." Diya offers. "I know what it is like not to feel worthy of others' attentions or help. And how it can feel to feel good, but know feeling good is likely coming right before something terrible happens." Remember: Diya still isn't pleased that she is here at the mansion, and still believes that may well put everyone here at risk because of those who are hunting her. "I don't really know what advice to offer you, except what you've already shown me: Show it, every day. Prove it, every day. Some day, maybe, you'll be her new normal."

Tendril has posed:
    The other girl nods with a serious expression. "I've been tryin' ta be honest with her. I just...I don't want her ta think I don't care about her if she doesn't do all this stuff. I mean...she got a tattoo about me." she says, tilting her head, flushing. "That feels kinda weird, I've never... I mean...no one ever cared 'bout me that much before. An'...an' I found, um...papers she was lookin' up from the internet...on, um, what it takes ta get married." She squirms. "An' I'm not ready for that. I feel like it's all...like it's rushin'. Ya know?" she asks, of the Russian.

Okhotnik has posed:
Diya frowns a bit, considering Lex carefully after these last bits of information. She does not speak up right away; she has to really think about what to say, if anything, about all of this. It's rather outside the range of her experience, after all. "I am not good at this, Lex." Diya admits. "But she's no telepath. The only way to communicate with her is to talk to her. You need to tell her how you feel, and she needs to hear you. Beyond that ... don't let her put this on you. You tell her the truth about how you feel, what you want. You listen to her, so she feels heard, as she tells you how she feels. But don't you let her pressure you into doing something you aren't ready for."

Tendril has posed:
    The girl shifts a bit on the bed, looking down at her lap a bit as she fiddles, her hands making washing motions briefly. "I don't think she would. Pressure me. I just...I don't want her ta feel I'm rejectin' her or somethin'. I mean..." She sighs a bit. "...it's...wonderful, but it's so...I feel like I don't deserve her." she admits finally. "She's like you, or Yana...you're all pretty an' blonde an' what everyone looks for. I mean, she could be with anyone...I keep feelin' like I'm gonna do somethin' accidentally that, I dunno, disgusts her an' makes her want to stay away from me or...or somethin'."

    She inhales again, then lets out another breath, turning her golden gaze towards the older woman. "...is that how you feel about me, or Yana, or th' other people here?" she asks suddenly. "That you'll scare us off somehow?"

Okhotnik has posed:
As always, Diya sits quietly, listening to the mauve mutant girl without speaking, without expression, and without touching her. A more empathic soul would hold the girl while listening; not Diya. But she is all in, completely present in the moment and fully engaged; that's got to be worth something. Right?

"A bit." Diya admits, finally, after some thought. "After all, I'm an unrepentant murderer, and that's not something this place and its people appreciate. And I'm a monster; there's no telling what I might do someday because of what I have become." Diya will live with what she has become, but that does not mean she has no fears of it. "But most of all, I worry that all of you are so open-hearted that you have let me in, and Hell will follow with me, and you won't be prepared to protect yourselves." Not so much her inner monster, already addressed; but more those who are hunting her.

Tendril has posed:
    Lexi idly snags some of her silvery hair against her fingers, letting the strands start to curl around her index finger as she listens with the same rapt attention. She frowns a bit, but is not suprised at this point what Diya feels...she's aware. She's not always happy that Diya feels that way, but she's acknowledged she can't just push her somehow to make her better unless she gets there on her own.

    "I'm not afraid of you." she says simply. "I know ya wouldn't hurt me deliberately, an' if ya had to, it would be because ya honestly thought it would save me." She frowns a little. "An' you an' Yana are tryin' ta train me ta defend myself. An' ya warned us about it." she reminds. "So yer doin' what ya can ta counter that." She hesistates. "Maybe if ya helped in th' Danger Room when Yana is trainin' me, it'd help. Ya could set it ta be more like what yer expectin', so we know how ta fight against people like that?"

Okhotnik has posed:
"Damnit, Lex!" Diya snaps, growling. "I know you mean well. But stop it. I'm a multiple murderer with PTSD. Never assume that I am safe just because you care about me. Always assume that I could explode at any time without warning or any reason you can see. Do you understand me?" Because it's not about intent; it's about murderous instincts that are as much a part of Diya as breathing. It's why it is never a good idea to surprise her, shock her, or push her boundaries.

Diya literally sits there, pensively, waiting for the girl to either agree and accept her guidance, or leave. She says nothing else. Not one word, until the decision has been made and demonstrated.

Tendril has posed:
    The girl's eyes widen slightly as she leans back reflexively at the sudden explosion. There's a long pause as she turns it over in her head, going still. "...I know that. But I refuse ta let ya be isolated an' push everyone away cuz you're afraid ya might hurt them.' she says slowly. "I'm careful around you. I don't hug ya. I don't touch ya. I don't suprise ya. I got out of my way ta make sure I won't startle ya, or make ya think you're in danger when yer not aware of what's around ya...not that ya aren't super aware of it most times." At least, as long as diya isn't a tiger, anyway, but she's not going to bring that up if she can avoid it.

    She leans forward again, a little bit. "I'm not bein' careless. I'm just not lettin' it push me away from ya. Because I do believe that, that if ya know it's someone ya want to protect, ya wouldn't hurt them, not deliberately. Yer a guardian. An' sure, ya kill.' She frowns. "...but yer not a psychopath. Ya do it for reasons."

Okhotnik has posed:
Diya sighs and lowers her gaze, frustration welling up inside her. She cannot begin to explain why she continues to let this girl get to her, but she does. And the girl's complete faith in Diya really worries the soldier. Even her own squadmates' faith in her wasn't absolute; she's here alone, after all, on the run. And yet Lex keeps insisting ... and it seems nothing Diya can do, short of actually hurting the girl is going to convince her.

The wise, pragmatic, wordly soldier would just stab the girl somewhere less than entirely lethal to make her point, and walk away.

Where is that bitch?

"What is ... 'Danger Room'?" Diya finally asks. Because that part of Lexi's earlier comment and question didn't parse for her.

Tendril has posed:
    Lexi blinks at the sudden change in course, then her eyes widen. Oh. You can almost see the very brief moment where she realizes she wasn't supposed to be talking about that, then the equally brief moment where she discards that seeing as it's Diya, along with any guilt over doing so. After all, the team mutants took her down there when she was only a student, long before she knew about the X-men side of things.

    "It's a special training room. There are two of them actually, one for students, one for...more intense training that's the Danger Room." She forgets what they call the student one...probably something boring like the Training Room. Meh. "It's got, like, solid holograms an' can shift an' change, so ya can make any environment or fight any opponent whose programmed inta it. With, like, controls ta make sure it doesn't become lethal." As far as she knows, anyway. She's yet to be present for the many Danger Room 'malfunctions' that set things to lethal, after all.

    "Like...when Yana first was trainin' a group of us, she made a field with like...giant monster bees anna giant armored worm ta fight. Ya can use yer powers full strength pretty much there without worryin' about breakin' stuff." She pauses, then shrugs. "...technically I'm not supposed ta tell people about that, but it's you, an' Yana already knows anyway. An' Tabby an' Dani. That's where they do all th' team trainin' stuff."

Okhotnik has posed:
It's not hard to see Diya inwardly facepalm as Lexi admits she wasn't supposed to say anything, that Diya herself has not been cleared to know of this. That makes up the soldier's mind rather clearly. "I will not join you in this Training Room, until Miss Grey says that I should know of this thing and be allowed to use it. Otherwise, going there, using it with you, would be admitting you violated opsec, and getting you in trouble." And yet that pragmatic soldier part of her thinks that is exactly what is needed right now: to get Lex in trouble, so she stays put.

Tendril has posed:
    Lexi promptly says. "Well, I'm only supposed ta not tell people about the Danger Room. Th' training room, all th' students an' staff know about. It's just not as extreme as th' Danger Room is. So you could still do trainin' there? it's more...environmental hazards usually, is all. Or like, self defense stuff." She seems pretty shameless about having told Diya about the other, however.

    "Ya could ask Miss Grey if she's got a trainin' area ya could use, maybe. She might suggest it on her own then, too. An' it's not unreasonable ta ask about somethin' like that, especially if ya tell her ya wanna give us an' idea of what we're up against.' Pragmatic, is Lexi.

Okhotnik has posed:
Of course, Diya is a soldier; opsec is vitally important to her, which is why this bothers her and why she is taking it so seriously. She doesn't expect Lexi, whom she views as a lovely person but also a child, to to really grasp that and function like it. So she just adapts as best she can.

"I could do that. And perhaps I will. But I would appreciate it if you would do your best to be more careful in the future. Operational Security is actually quite important, Lex. I want you to respect that." That said, the soldier settles. "This room may offer us an opportunity to actually start some of the training you have asked for, much more safely than doing it out in the yard."

Tendril has posed:
    Lexi siiiighs. "Okay. I'll do better." she agrees after a moment. "I don't think it matters when it's you, though. I mean, yer goin' around fightin' with us, ya should be kept in th' loop." She tilts her head, then smiles. "Yeah, that's what I was thinkin'. I know some people use it for self defense trainin', so it should be somethin' you could modify ta help teach stuff like that? I mostly have just used it for climbin' practice on my own, most times."

Okhotnik has posed:
Diya nods. "Well, I will discuss this with Miss Grey, and hopefully she will suggest this room without further prompting." That will solve the issue of operational security for Diya. Mostly.

"So. Do you think you will be able to discuss this issue with Tabitha?" Diya queries, harkening back to their earlier topic. "I am not sure how to help you with that. Perhaps there is someone else you should discuss it with, someone who can help you figure out how to bring this up successfully?" Because Diya's social skills, especially in romantically fraught scenarios, are crap.

Tendril has posed:
    Lexi frowns, then looks down at her lap. "...I...I don't really have anyone I trust ta do that with." she admits after a moment. "Not who's, like, older. I mean, I could ask Dani, maybe, cuz she's got a college girlfriend an' stuff..."

Okhotnik has posed:
Diya frowns. "Well, if Dani is the only person you think you trust enough to discuss this, then I think that is who you should talk to." Anything but to take exclusively Diya's perspective on the issue. She sucks at this stuff.

Tendril has posed:
    Lexi watches the older woman, then says slowly. "So...yer tellin' me...that you've never had a relationship before that would give ya any advice ta give in this, then?" She looks skeptical. "I mean...it's not like yer not a looker. Ya musta had at least a boyfriend or two or somethin'..."

Okhotnik has posed:
Diya merely shakes her head. "I am telling you that you would do well to avoid any advice I might give you on romantic entanglements." Bald honesty and bluntness are just the way she is, and that's not going to change. "I have had ... what is American term? F**k buddies? Yes? Largely casual relationships with males I found attractive who found me attractive while we were in proximity. But never anything successful and romantic. And my current state leaves me with ingrained instincts against trusting close interpersonal connections, or strengthening them in any way." Yeah. She's been reading psych textbooks in the library since moving in.

Tendril has posed:
    Lexi frowns quietly at that. "Oh." she says, her tone a little sad at that. More for Diya, than for the fact she can't give more advice. "I see." She sighs. "Well...I'll ask Dani too, then. But...um...how...are ya doing, Diya? You seem more...calm since ya got here. Less jumpy."

Okhotnik has posed:
The Russian soldier shrugs her shoulders. "I am trying." she admits, equally subdued for her own reasons. "I go out often. Let it out on my own." So her worst moments are spent without others around to see them. "I think that I am slowly getting a better handle on and balance with the tiger, which includes my augmented senses. So, that tones down the jumpiness a bit."

Tendril has posed:
    Diya nods slowly, unwinding her fingers from her hair. "It's good. I'm glad. Is...is talking to people helping? This...this person who's helpin' ya learn how ta be a weretiger...?"

Okhotnik has posed:
Diya rolls her shoulders a bit, then considers carefully before nodding. "She and the others have helped a good deal. I could never have learned to make the change happen at my choice, the way I was. And without my human memory and consciousness, the tiger would eventually have become an out of control monster, the very kind I feared: just like the one who created me."

Tendril has posed:
    Lexi pauses, then nods slowly. "So...this one that attack you. He was like that?" she says softly. "He didn't learn to be human and tiger at the same time?" She leans in, resting her hands on the edge of the bed. "And Miss Grey, she is helping?"

Okhotnik has posed:
The Russian woman shrugs her shoulders. "I have no way of knowing. But the others say that if one does not learn this, one becomes maddened, a beast. They said I would become like the thing I hated the most. That is why I work so hard." Not that it was or is fun, or all success. "I do not want to become like that." It is her worst nightmare.

"Miss Grey? We have talked, but not much. She is very busy. We talk most about what was. My old team. Russia." Diya explains.

Tendril has posed:
    The mauve girl nods softly. "...I'm sorry. That..that I make ya upset. When I don't...want to pull away." She drops her eyes. "It's...it's hard. Ta think of ya as a danger to me." She frowns. "I feel...like yer family. An....an I don't have a lotta people I feel that way about. Not...not for a long time." she admits, sighing.

Okhotnik has posed:
Diya shrugs, shakes her head. "I do not know how to trust myself." It's hard to explain. "And I still worry. I know things are better, now. But that worry is not just going to disappear."

That's all Diya says, for a good long while. But eventually she does speak up once more. "I ... I feel connected to you, too." She sounds so thrilled about it, too. Like pulling teeth she's so happy. "And that makes me more worried, not less. For you. And for me."

Tendril has posed:
    Lexi watches the other woman with eyes that suddenly look much older than the girl they belong to. "...because if ya care, ya can lose them?" she asks quietly. She's no stranger to that. "...I thought that for a long time, y'know."

Okhotnik has posed:
"I worry that if you care about me, you won't be careful, and something bad will happen." Diya admits. "And that because you stay closer to me, you will be more likely to be hurt when my enemies find me."

All of that is true, but that's not all of it, by any stretch. "And I cannot help that it is hard for me to express myself. I am used to soldiers, like me. Those with similar experience. You don't have that. And ... and I don't want you to have that." Conflicted, much? "And I have 'trust issues'."

Tendril has posed:
    The girl leans back on her hands on the bed, frowning quietly. "I know." she murmurs. "I'm tryin' not ta...ta push ya. I mean. Not...goin' too far with ya when yer a tigger an'...an' not pushin' stuff on ya. I do try." she says. She fidgets a bit, putting her hands in her lap again. "I know I get too...too excited about this stuff...um, havin'...havin' people close."

Okhotnik has posed:
Diya nods. "I'm not ... accusing you." And she's not. Doesn't mean Diya is all kinds of comfy, either.

"I don't know why." Diya begins, after a while. "I don't know enough, yet. But ... for some reason, when I'm the tiger, now, it's easier to be touched. And to touch others." She sighs. "From what memories I've been able to dredge up, it seems before, when I wasn't in control, the tiger was much easier with touching. Less so, now. I'm sorry for that." Diya is getting better. But it means the tigger is less snuggly. Kinda unfair, that.

Tendril has posed:
    There's a low sigh. "I know. I...I can stop. If it makes ya uncomfortable. I don't want that." she admits after a long pause. It would hurt to give that up, admittedly. But if it's for Diya...well. "Yer more important than me bein' able ta hug ya when yer a tiger."

Okhotnik has posed:
Diya considers this. It might almost seem like she is leaving it with silence as an affirmation, it takes so long. But eventually she does speak up again. "No. It may be hard for me, after. But ... what I read. It says I have to learn to touch again." Difficult to admit. "It means something to you, hugging the tiger. Touching it. And as the tiger, it is easier for me. Figure, keep it up. S'long as you are careful." As careful as a reckless, overly emotional teenager can be.

Tendril has posed:
    Lexi straightens a bit at that, blinking those gold eyes at Diya. "...really, it's okay?" she says, checking, like she's not sure what she just heard. "I mean...maybe we can figure out a way ya can let me know when it's not, but...um..." She hesistates. "....I...I really like that. Not just cuz snuggling a tiger feels nice, but cuz it's you, an' I can't hug ya another way without it bein' bad..."

Okhotnik has posed:
The other woman looks up at Lexi and nods, finally making eye contact. "Yeah. It's OK." She knew Lexi would like it; that's why she said it. Lexi understands it's hard for her, and that helps her to be willing to try it. "We'll try to work out a signal, so you can know if the tiger needs to back off. I'm not sure what that should be. Something that wouldn't happen accidentally." Not that she honestly is expecting the tiger would use it; but it might help Diya to know that there's an out, a release valve, accessible.

Tendril has posed:
    Lexi considers. "Ya could, like, pat me onna shoulder with a paw or something?" she offers. "Cuz it's easy ta do." She smiles a bit, quieting as she mmms. "Diya...did...ya have family? Back in Russia?" she says after a moment. A bit hesistantly. Unsure if this is something Diya even wants to answer.

Okhotnik has posed:
"Parents. A younger brother. His wife. I think they had a child." Diya answers, after a bit. "No family of my own." Remember, no romantic relationships worth a darn. "I had not seen them in almost a year, when I went on the run."

Tendril has posed:
    Lexi nods slowly. "Are ya close?" she wonders slowly. "I know ya were in th' army a while..." She rests her hands on her knees, frowning a bit. "Maybe Yana could find out somethin' about how they're doin' or such, like..all quiet like...."

Okhotnik has posed:
Diya shakes her head. "No. We were not especially close. Had not been for years, since I went into Spetznaz." she admits. "My parents encouraged me in getting into the military. It was a way to assure I would have a career, be able to take care of myself. But they never intended I would become ... my mother put it, 'So bloody-minded,' I think is the best translation." She shrugs her shoulders. "There are careers in the military that are not much different than civilian life. That is what they expected of me. They did not expect a young soldier. A true fighter." A beat. "A killer."

Tendril has posed:
    Lexi pauses, considering that, then asks slowly. "So...why did ya go? Join up an' stuff? Just for th' career, cuz yer folks were pushin' ya that way? I mean...Spetznaz are pretty rough ta train inta, I'm guessin'. Ya woulda had ta really impress people ta be given th' chance."

Okhotnik has posed:
For a while, Diya doesn't answer. But the pattern is pretty clear by now: give her time, she'll say something. Grunt, if nothing else. Diya does eventually speak, but there's a really long pause, there. Uncomfortable. And she's not looking right up at Lex anymore. "I liked being physical. Enjoyed it. Wanted the challenge. So when I got into secondary school, I pushed my training. Through college. When I finally joined, I made a point of pushing myself to be the best." She shrugs. "My parents saw the good grades. The healthy lifestyle. The financial prospects. They never really asked what else I enjoyed."

Diya stays quiet for a while, again. It's not hard to imagine the montage of memories playing out against her mind's eye. "I was an excellent shot. One of the best, fast or slow, short or long guns. And I had a talent for being sneaky, and situational awareness." None of these are bad things for a soldier, to be sure. "I got noticed. And I took the opportunities I was given. Pushed myself, still, to be the best." And she was.

Tendril has posed:
    The other girl pauses for a moment, catching something in the way Diya said that. "...what else did ya like, then? Besides th' physical stuff, in college?" she says softly. She's curious...she knows about the soldier stuff...and how driven Diya is. But she doesn't know much about beyond that.

Okhotnik has posed:
"I liked learning." Diya admits. "No brain trust, but it was a good education. Enjoyed stretching my mind to learn new things, things I never would have had the exposure to learn otherwise." Like English literature, for one. "Learned what the military is supposed to be about: protecting the people. We are supposed to be soldiers, so they don't have to be." An ideal that is hard to live up to in these times. But she strives.

Tendril has posed:
    The girl considers that, then says slowly. "Maybe ya could sit in on courses here? I mean...there's lots of kids...there's gotta be a few classes that would be interestin' to ya. Dr. McCoy does literature stuff sometimes..." she says curiously. It's not really her thing; Miss Croft's history and archeology classes are a lot more what she focuses on, but...

Okhotnik has posed:
"Spend most of my time right now trying to be useful." Diya admits. "Scrubbing. Cleaning. Digging." She works hard at being a one-woman labor force. "But ... maybe." She's still viewing her sojourn here as something temporary and likely to be brief. Taking courses is something implying semi-permanence. That's a tough step for the wandering tumbleweed of the homeless veteran.

Tendril has posed:
    Lexi holds up her hands. "If yer ready. I mean...there's small classes, too. So wouldn't be too crowded for ya? I mean...this schoo's supposed ta be here ta help people like us. It wouldnt' be fair if they only were gonna help people my age and not people like you who could use th' help too." She tilts, then smiles faintly. "...I'll be yer study buddy?"

Okhotnik has posed:
That, at least, earns a grin of amusement from the soldier. "Study buddy, hunh?" Diya shakes her head. "This school ... it was meant for people like you, Lex. You, Tabitha, Yana." She shakes her head. "Not people like me. Got nothin' to do with my age. Everything to do ... like Logan said, this place is for teaching mutants. And I'm not."

Tendril has posed:
    Lexi shakes her head. "Not just mutants. But people who have stuff that they gotta learn ta deal with. Just almost no one knows about this place outside. Why should it be just mutants? I mean...you an' Rahne have a pretty similar ability." She sighs. "An' I'm not gonna be here too much longer, Diya. I mean....I'm too old. An' when I graduate, I'll need ta go somewhere else. Got no idea where. Out there..." She shrugs. "Ain't gonna be a safe space, ya know? Any college I'm on...there will be people who hate me just cuz I look like a purple people eater or somethin'."

Okhotnik has posed:
Diya tilts her head, turning her gaze up at Lexi sideways. There's just something about the girl that comes off so much younger than that. "There are those that stay here longer." she says, without pushing or implying anything. But clearly she's saying the avenue would be open, could be open for Lex to stay here longer, get her college education here. Not that she's advocating Lex hide in this school forever. But why rush out there?

Tendril has posed:
    Lexi mmmms, tilting her head, reaching up to start playing with the strands of her hair again. "...thought about it." she admits. "I mean...Miss Croft is here. If she wanted ta teach me, maybe. But I can't get a degree here, an' I want that." She frowns. "...I wanna prove I can be more than I was. I wanna be able ta say I'm a doctor of archeology or somethin'. That I can make it out there, an' have a career, an' be somethin' more than just the cute but weird purple girl..."

Okhotnik has posed:
"Nothing wrong with being the cute but weird purple girl." Diya comments, softly. "But nothing wrong with wanting to be more than just that, either." Diya would understand, naturally. "Learn all you can. Be the best you can be, at everything they'll teach you. Then you'll be as ready as you can be."

Tendril has posed:
    Lexi smiles. "...kinda like being the violent tiger girl. Noting wrong with you being more than just that, either." she says, echoing Diya. "Just because it's who ya are now, doesn't mean it's who ya gotta always be." She smiles a bit, then slides off the bed, standing. "Um, if that doesn't seem kinda pushy or flippant. Cuz I'm tryin' not ta be...I just...I can see ya can be more. Ya just need time...and people who give a damn, and someplace safe ta...ta reshape yerself a bit. Into somethin' that's more...who ya wanna be."

Okhotnik has posed:
When Lexi stands, Diya scoots back and stands herself, hovering but keeping distant, an odd sort of rubber-band effect of presence. "I don't know what else to be, Lex. You have a vision. I want to see you pursue that. Me ... what I want most I cannot be, anymore. That life is lost forever. And I don't know how to not be that anymore." Maybe she can learn. She's not going to say she can't. But she can only see what she can see, only do what she can do. "Good luck, with Tabitha. I hope Dani, or someone, can help you more than me. But most important, I think, is actually communicate. Make sure you are heard, and that you hear her."

Tendril has posed:
    There's a flicker in those golden eyes as Diya stands and retreats from her. It does...hurt a bit. Though she hides it immediately. "...yeah. Ya can't be that anymore. But...try other stuff. Think about what made it important to ya an'...maybe there's somethin' else you can do that's like it that would give ya that...that feelin' of being th' shield for people, like ya wanted. Bein' the fighter so they didn't haveta be." She smiles a bit. "Mmm, I took up a bunch of your time. Thanks for talkin' with me, it helped."

Okhotnik has posed:
"I'll think about it." How does a Russian soldier, an illegal immigrant on the run, who also happens to be a barely-controlled afflicted weretigress with PTSD, get off doing anything to protect others? Good question.

Diya shrugs. "You weren't stealing time." she admits. "I wasn't doin' much, but putting away laundry and working out." And she works out almost constantly. It's a thing. She feels bad, knowing she has upset Lex. But ... they've talked about it, as much as she's able to talk about it. Touching is just ... hard. Even if a part of her feels like Lex could really use a hug.

Tendril has posed:
    If she does, she's strong enough to not show it, as she waves, heading over to open the door. "See ya later Diya! Maybe we can eat dinner together later...alla us...would be kinda nice." she says with a wistful smile, then slips out, closing the door behind her.