4280/Ready, Fire, Aim

Ready, Fire, Aim
Date of Scene:	15 April 2018
Location:	Triskelion, New York City
Synopsis:	Deadpool gets a jetpack and somehow the world is better for it...
Cast of Characters:	Leo Fitz, Deadpool, Black Widow (Romanoff)

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Leo Fitz has posed:
Scientists are S.H.I.E.L.D. agents too!

And so it's later at night, after hours per se, and Fitz has taken a break from the lab and gone to the weapon testing room. Not that he's actually testing weapons as much as he's using weapons to test himself. He's put on the holographic glasses and grabbed the typical training simulation gun and is using the bunker as his own training obstacle course. You have to have the glasses on to see what he's doing, though there are plenty about. Otherwise, it looks like he's walking around holding a gun, pointing it at nothing, and pretending to shoot it. But with the glasses on, you can see that this simulation is a very busy city street, near Times Square, and the scenario seems to be a sort of follow and detain. So for now, his gun is on his hip. This is what happens when you assume you have a calendar that's empty of appointments for the rest of the night.

Deadpool has posed:
'Consultants are S.H.I.E.L.D. agents too!' is written across Deadpool's navy blue t-shirt. It took some doing for him to match it to the colour used by S.H.I.E.L.D., and the grey writing. That one was a real dozy. Thankfully, he had some examples at home; just they weren't in his size, like at all.

But he's wearing a blue and grey version of his iconic uniform, he had it specially made. It even has replica S.H.I.E.L.D. badges. None of it is official. But over that, he wears the t-shirt that reads 'Consultants are S.H.I.E.L.D. agents too!' If that shirt were removed, someone would find that he's even wearing a name tag. 'W. Wilson'

Heading towards Weapons Testing Room three, he greeted the guards, "Mario, Luigi," their names were actually Giuseppe and Mark, "nice work on the replacement door hinges," he had cut them off not that long ago. See, this time he was behaving. He hadn't just teleported in. Of course, Mario and Luigi prevented him from going inside, "Wade, we've been through this. I'm Agent Mark Chang, and this is Agent Giuseppe Bianchi. And you are not authorised to enter here."

It didn't help that both men had a moustache, were both from Brooklyn, and both worked as plumbers in their youth. How Wade found that out was actually part of an ongoing investigation. Wade seemed to be an impressive intelligence operative, but he gathered the strangest information.

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
If only they could channel his powers for good. Perhaps that was why Fury agreed to take him on as a consultant. In the hopes they might be able to get that sort of information and utilize it.

As soon as Deadpool headed toward that area of the building, the alert went off on Natasha's phone. Not because she was wanting to track his every move. No, it had something to do with his last appearance in that area of the building and the door having to be replaced. Now if he was close, she was told. Since she was reasponsible for him.

As the alert went off, she was already just two levels up. It took a matter of moments before she came down the hall in her usual black costume. "You can open the door. We were going to do some weapons practice," she lied easily to the two guards. When they opened the door, she noted the light on at the simulation area. Tilting her head, she walked that direction to peek inside the secure room, flicking on the camera view so that those on the outside could see what was happening on the goggles without going into the VR area itself.

Leo Fitz has posed:
The problem for Fitz is that you also get sound. And as he's walking he's talking to himself. "Yeah base, I see him. Yes...I'm sure it's him." And he mutes the comm but that doesn't change the fact people listening can hear the room. "Sure, I'm not Black Widow or Skye or Fury or Ward...' and he happens to run off a list of other names. "But they think if you're not one of them that you can't tai...." but even as he says that, the person he's follwoing ends up in a pack of...four or so people dressed exactly the same and they all turn off in the four cardinal directions. Fitz takes out his phone, holding it up for a moment as he scans, briefly, looking like he's taking a photo and he gets the tracker signal of the one he's supposed to go after. Of course...a better agent may not have needed the tracker but still.

"As if you can fool me..." he says again, talking to himself. "Fitz....Leopold Fitz. Shaken, not stirr...bah, that's lame. I'll have a sea breeze....they're quite good really...no it's not a drink for girl....okay that one won't work either. Hrm..." he says, continuing to talk to himself as he trails the mark.

Deadpool has posed:
Turning around at the sound of Black Widow's footsteps, Wade does something which made Giuseppe jump a little. Wade hadn't done anything yet to compromise the situation. He wasn't being violent. He wasn't hacking the systems, literally, or figuratively. He was being a good boy. But the sudden movement of his arms made Giuseppe jump. He saw it, but not exactly what Wade was doing. Mark had a better vantage and saw the way Deadpool's made a heart gesture with his gloved fingertips and thumbs, directing it at Natasha of course.

Mark waved off Giuseppe who had gone for his gun. It was a subtle movement on the part of both Agents, but they had communicated, nonverbally, and Natasha probably read it all too. Joining her once she gave him clearance, at least enough that the guards stepped aside, Wade couldn't help but put a gloved hand on Giuseppe's shoulder, "you had a bit of dirt, just there, but I got it. Don't worry, it's good." He clenched his gloved fists, flexing the muscles in his arms, and did similarly with his chest. "Whatever you're doing, keep it up." Wade would never know how close Giuseppe came to attacking him at that moment.

Following Natasha in and turned on the camera view, "ooh, are we L.A.R.P.ing today? I hope I'm dressed appropriately." He listened in and watched intently, enjoying the show that Fitz was putting on. And then he suddenly seemed to have a small bag of popcorn. In actuality, he reached into his Magic Satchel and withdrew it, but it was so quick and so effortless, that few would have caught it. He had a habit of doing things like that. Sliding up his mask, he ate some. Then offered some to Natasha.

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"He did not just put the IT gal in the same league as me when it comes to weapons, did he?" Natasha asks before she can stop herself. Yes, she had mad respect for Skye's skillset. But that skillset is not the same as what she does. "I should just shoot him." Then she realizes who she is talking to. "That's joking. Do not shoot him." Because really, Wade can go either way sometimes. Particularly when it comes to her.
    She reaches down to touch a button the control panel, settling into a chair as she did so. "You want to go in and play with him? I'll give you guys something to do." And she is reaching for the difficulty setting as her voice comes over the comm to Fitz. "Agent Fitz, backup is available. They can be sent in to assist. Under your orders." That's the way they usually tell others they have someone wanting to join the simulations.

She does glance at Wade. "VR glasses and simulation weapons are in that cabinet. Do not use real weapons if you go in there."

Leo Fitz has posed:
"Negative, base. The scenario simply calls for a tag and bag. No back up...." he says to which he blinks, "Natash....I mean, agent Roma..." and he doesn't even finish the word really as he turns around and looks towards the entrance and the glass that lets him see other people on the other side of it. The bad guy had just doubled back and drawn a weapon and was about to shoot at Fitz when he pulls the glasses off and tosses them to the side, going to pocket the gun and instead putting it INTO his pocket....which is...well, whatever. He bends down and picks up the glasses, putting them into his breast pocket cause that doesn't at all help the stereotype. And so he walks towards the entrance again, leaning on it with one arm before he realizes that isn't as cool as he think so he tried to lean back against it before realizing that doesn't work either and so he just stands there, folding his arms, gun handle sticking out of his pocket. "Hello. What can I do for you?"

Deadpool has posed:
Slipping his arms around Natasha in a public display of affection, and brushing that bowl of popcorn against her back, Wade explains "Natty, just say the word and I'd raze this whole city to the ground for you." He said it in a joking manner; in fact, he had actually said it in a Humphrey Bogart voice. "You're the greatest, and so far above the IT girl."

When she offers to let him go into the simulator, he's so excited that he throws his bowl of popcorn up into the air, and then, looking up, he reaches for, and grabs it in mid-air, before any of the popcorn had spilled out. Of course, then, while still airborn, he passes it under his right leg, and feeds it up to his other hand, just as he lands. Smiling, as he never pulled his mask back down over his lips, he said, "what some can do with a basketball, I can do with a bowl of popcorn." Like a badass... or something.

To Fitz though, he says, "Cool," very much in the way John Oliver likes to say it, "you got some mad skills there. We should go spying some day, out in the field, kill some bad guys, bed some... roses, looking all boss. Do we have to wear the Kevlar, or can we James Bond it up?" He was trying to make friends with Nat's work colleague.

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"That's a serious skill. Considering how we always seem to have a bowl of popcorn." Always on movie night, they have it. And now here. Which is a little weird but she's getting to where weird is more commonplace. Which is weird.

As Fitz exits, she taps the screen in front of her and turns off the simulation in the room behind him. Then she rises to her feet and gives him a big smile. "Perhaps you two should team up for something. Get you out of that lab, Fitz. You spend too much time there." She motions to Wade at her side. "This is Wade Wilson, A.K.A. Deadpool. He's a consultatant with us now." As if the shirt didn't give that away.

Leo Fitz has posed:
"Obviously," he says, looking to Natasha. Fitz is special. He's polite, but there are those times where his intelligence doesn't let him have all the social graces one might expect. Such as when a woman who could kill him with her shoelace makes a comment and he gets snarky rather than rolling with it. But on the flip side, he's good at what he does, and there's always a Jemma to usually remind him to be polite. The usually softly spoken 'Fitz....be nice' would have likely been said but today he's unplugged, unhinged...off the chain!

"Bed some...roses? I didn't realize you had such the green thumb, Mr. Wilson." Yes, he's heard of the Merc with the Mouth. He's been in any intelligence briefing ever about extranneous elements that could have an impact on S.H.I.E.L.D. operations. Usually, right after Hydra comes Deadpool.

"I...that's a nice offer. I'd say that it's probably more likely I stay here where my skills are best suited. I'm not sure our style in the field is quite the same. First of all, you're clealry a far more snazzy dresser than I would ever be." So yes, maybe some of the annoyance or embarassment at being caught training catches up with him. "What exactly brought you two down here?"

Deadpool has posed:
"Oh yeah, I've got a green thumb under this glove. Sometimes it's black and blue, but that's because I've been trying to get used to this new hammer," and he pulls out a hammer from his magic satchel that looks suspiciously like Mjolnir. In fact, it's eerily similar. Like, if it's a fake, it was probably made in Asgard. "But don't worry, we'll get you some new threads. I bet Mario and Luigi aren't just Italian stereotypes," Mark "Mario" Chang not being Italian at all, "but they probably know a nice tailor who could hook you up."

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
"I actually came down to work on the weapons range," Natasha says simply, glancing at the hammer as her brow furrows. It is not Mjolnir. She's sure of that. At least she hopes it isn't for two reasons. One, Wade with the powers of Thor was frightening. And two, as much as she loved him, she was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to pick it up. Any more than she could.

She might be wrong. Wouldn't be the first time. "We didn't mean to interrupt, Fitz. I just thought you might want to try something more than a catch and tag."

Leo Fitz has posed:
"No, of course it's fine," he says, though looking to the room and then back to Natasha, he offers, "If you need any help let me know. I should get back into the lab," he explains, though it's hard not to look at Deadpool's 'uniform' still and just..."I...it's fine. Agent Simmons does an excellent enough job of helping me figure out the proper wardrobe for a mission." Of course, apparently the proper wardrobe for life is that whole Mervyn's look - plenty of great office shirts if you're trying to relive and bring back that 90's button up look. "So you were going to work on the range, but that doesn't explain why Mr. Wilson is here? As impressive as your mighty hammer may be," he says, looking to the faux-Mjolnir. "Were you coming down to use our weapon range or did you need something?" It's not the most excitign question, but much like a creepy guy who looks half like a sex offender and the other half like an undertaker sitting alone at a table in a bar, it might move along the plot.

Deadpool has posed:
Wade was frightening with a potato gun. Wade with Mjolnir would need a brand new world to describe how scary it was. Frightening was not nearly enough. And of course, was Wade worthy of it, could he be worthy of, would he? So many questions. But Wade put the hammer back into his satchel as easily as he had withdrawn it. He didn't even mention it. As if no explanation of why he had it was necessary. "

"Actually, now that you mention it," and his voice switched to a faux Arnold Schwarzenegger voice, "Are you Leopold Fitz?" Before returning to his own, "because if you are, I heard you might be able to get me a jet pack. I've always wanted a jet pack. And someone told you were working on one, but nobody wanted to volunteer to be the test pilot. Too dangerous or something? Insurance wouldn't cover it."

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
Natasha couldn't have answered if she wanted to. She had no idea why Wade was here. Again. Maybe he just really wanted to get some of the weapons but she was sure that wasn't right. He'd have spoken to her. She thinks.

As he outright asks for a jetpack, Natasha blinks slowly. Then she has to fight the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose. Until she hears the entire pitch. Interestingly, it makes some sort of sense. He can't die. He can heal from anything. Perfect test pilot?

Leo Fitz has posed:
Oh dear goodness. Way to rile up Fitzy again? "Too dangerous? TOO DANGEROUS?" He looks about for a moment, looking over at Natasha, then back to Deadpool. "Oh sure, I help make carriers that float in the sky and weapons from alien technology, but something some people did with rubber bands and cardboard...making people fly...over 100 years ago, somehow THAT is the dangerous thing I do?" His gaze narrows for a moment. "I'll have you know it's just fine. The real issue with it is that people don't like the fact it moves them as fast as it does. No one wants to read the instruction manual on how to take off at a controlled speed so you don't almost black out. So no, the jet pack works -just- fine. It's the limited capacity for the human mind to recognize they MIGHT have to read a guide that comes with an object that costs over a hundred thousand dollars to make that is the issue, Mr. Wilson." And as he finishes his rant he looks about, his raised voice having caused even Mario and Luigi to peek in. "So...yeah...I can make a jet pack."

Deadpool has posed:
The way Deadpool's eyes light up is like a kid on Christmas morning. He grins, since the mask is still exposing his scabby chin, mouth, and the bottom of his nose. "I'd read War and Peace if I got to use a Jetpack. I'd read Dostoevsky to get a jetpack. I'd read Lord of the Rings to get a jetpack. I'd read Harry Potter to get a jetpack... I'd even read some really long books that aren't good to be able to use a jetpack. So, where do I get a copy? Is it available on kindle?" And he reaches into his non-regulation S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform and pulls out a pink Kindle with a Hello Kitty decal on it. Then looking to Natasha, "if she reads it, can we both get one?"

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
At the tirade, Natasha says not a word but her eyebrows are slightly lifted. Someone is grumpy. Getting interrupted in the simulator either caused it or worsened it. Then Wade makes his suggestion and she shakes her head vehemently. "Oh no. I have no interest in a jet pack. I'll stick with my Widow's Line, thank you." She doesn't touch her wristbands although the urge is there for a moment. Instead, she looks back to Fitz. "I'm not sure that SHIELD is going to be agreeable with a consultant getting a jet pack. Without selling the idea to Fury. "

Leo Fitz has posed:
Fitz looks over between the two. "I don't know about that," he says. "I mean, sure, we'd have to ask the Director about giving away S.H.I.E.L.D. resources. However, as the lead developer of our tech and knowing indeed the value of a field test, I'm pretty sure loaning one to our newest consultant as he puts it through its paces in a clearly well regulated and controlled environment..." and this is clearly developer Fitz now who doesn't want to see his awesome items just waste away in a closet somewhere. "Though I do lik ethe idea that in order to be selected to the field testing program there would have to be some consideration. So here it is. Two weeks...Mr. Wilson...two weeks of no bad words. That means not a single word comes out of your mouth that the censors wouldn't allow on Nickelodeon. You do that...and you're accepted into the Jetpack field training program." Cause...sometimes...that's exactly the kind of ridiculousness that it would take to get Fury to approve of this. Two weeks without cursing? Most would be he couldn't go two minutes.

Deadpool has posed:
"Well, Snickerdoodle, that's just prime. I can live on cheese and rice, no banana shenanigans for me. It's all fiddlesticks, great Caesar's ghost, gee willickers, gosh darn it, sufferin succotash, motherhugger, William Shatner, leapin' lizards, tarter sauce, pokemon, for Pete's sake. My good man, you won't regret this, you won't even give a Donald Duck." He kept on, using swear substitutes, showing off an impressive knowledge of old timey speak.

Leo Fitz has posed:
To which Fitz grins. "Due to licensing issues, William Shatner and Donald Duck would both disqualify you. Also, unfortunatley so would motherhugger simply because it's too close. You could do the Shut the Front Door and other things you said are just fine. But...that's it. Two weeks." He turns his wrist over and pushes a button on his watch and starts the time. "You have 335 hours, 59 minutes, and 59...58...57..." he says with a grin and looks over to Natasha. He seems pleased, as he turns around and heads back to the lab as if his work here is done.