4392/Just Another Day At The Office

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Just Another Day At The Office
Date of Scene: 05 May 2018
Location: Xavier's School, Westchester, New York
Synopsis: Deadpool decides to join the Xavier School, as a student? Teacher? Pest? Eitherway, you'll have to tune in to the sequel to find out how that works out!
Cast of Characters: Phoenix, Deadpool




Phoenix has posed:
One of the worst aspect of being essentially the Headmistress with the Professor away, is that Jean spends a lot of time in her office, taking care of the administrative work. It can get tedious, boring, aggravating, and at times an X-Men outing is just what the doctor ordered to keep sane. Not McCoy, a different doctor, less sane. That's how Jean currently spends her time, sitting behind her desk, answering a myriad of emails rating from trivial to fingernails on chalkboard aggravating.

Deadpool has posed:
There was a name, nothing too out of the ordinary, W. Winston Wilson, on Jean's schedule. And at the appointed time, a smartly dressed man showed up. He wore a dark grey suit, with a light grey dress shirt, and a dark grey tie. He had a light grey belt, dark grey trousers that matched the suit jacket, and black Italian shoes. If not for the mask, he'd look every bit like a normal, every day guy. But you see, that first W turned out to stand for Wade, and this was Deadpool. He had worn his grey and black mask to go with the suit. It actually did look good on him. He had black gloves on that matched the shoes, and carried a briefcase in one hand. After being shown in for his appointment, with his free hand, he offered to shake Jean's hand, "ah, good afternoon Mistress Grey. I'm W. Winston Wilson, prospective mutant." He set his briefcase down on a chair after shaking her hand, and pulled up a curriculum vitae, which was on scented vanilla paper, really expensive stuff, but had been handwritten, with really nice penmanship, except it had been done in alternating crayon colours. Each line was a different colour, making a rainbow. "as you can see, I've been training really hard, studying up on how to be a mutant, and I think I'm ready to be tested. I want to belong in this world that hates and fears me, just because I was born different, because I was born as homo sapien. I believe that we can get past that, beyond that, and that I too, can become a mutant." Wade was well known for his antics, but this was definitely a new one. First of all, he most definitely not a mutant. He had been tested. He was a metahuman, an altered human. And everything he had said was as straight faced as he could muster. It was like he was acting in a play.

Phoenix has posed:
Jean looked a bit preplexed at the W. Winston Wilson on her schedule, she didn't quite recall seeing the meeting earlier, but it could have been a late addition. These things do happen. Funny how it's almost like J. Jonah Jameson. Only with a 'W' variant of course. Some people just love their alliterations.

She, for her part, was dressed in a simple green dress. Functional, simple, and not made to impress anyone. It was supposed to be a quiet day in the office, nothing ceremonial or too formal. "Mr. Wilson," she greets WWW as he comes in, doing an expert job of keeping a straight face at the sight of the mask. "Any reason for the mask?" She asks curiously, before tilting her head slightly, as if she heard something confusing. "Prospective mutant? As in...you might become a mutant? You might be a mutant? Or you're not entirely sure...?"

Taking the garish resume from Wade, Jean gives it a brief look over, muttering something incoherent under her breath at the colorful mess, even though it is in nice penmanship. "Forgive my incredulity, Mr. Wilson, but are you entirely sure that enrolling as a student is something that would be of interest to you? What major would be of interest? I presume not graphic design?"

Deadpool has posed:
"I've always believed you are what you believe, and I choose to lead a mutant life," but it didn't work that way. Choosing to be a mutant was like choosing to be gay, or choosing to be African American, or choosing to be 6'8". It wasn't optional, it was like pregnancy, you either were, or you weren't. And he wasn't." He also didn't seem to be the right age for a student, considering he was older than Jean was, and he had already graduated from high school, and apparently was a soldier of fortune for some time. Of course, Deadpool was a known quantity. This wasn't the first time he had pestered the X-Men, and it wouldn't be the last. In fact, poor Lorna had a fit when he just teleported into the games room to watch their TV one evening. Deadpool wasn't really something you could control. He was, therefore, he annoyed. For some reason, he felt the need to mention his interest in Bea Arthur and Unicorns, and devoted as much time in his hand written c.v. to that, as he did his ability to infiltrate Mexican drug cartels. "So, where do I get my spandex super suit?"

Phoenix has posed:
"Pray tell, just what is, a mutant life?" Jean has to ask, getting invested in this presentation courtesy of Wade Wilson. He might be petitioning for something, but whatever it is he is after, he is quite entertaining while he does it. "Oh, that is not something that students do, Mr. Wilson," Jean corrects when he asks about his spandex super suit, "I'm sure you're aware we're running a perfectly normal school, for normal kids, because being a mutant is normal. That is our distinction." Jean will take a distraction from mind numbing administrative work any day. Just don't let Wade know about it. Good thing he's not a telepath. "Assuming we would let you enroll, what would you like to study? Algebra? French? Or is it just Gym class?"

Deadpool has posed:
Wade puts a gloved hand to his face, suggesting it's a secret, "oh, right, a perfectly normal school. Gotcha. More and more schools these days are installing aircraft hangers under basketball courts, and employing people who rhyme with pulverine as gardeners because he came with his own hedge trimmers." He then winks, very, very emphatically, with the mask. How does he blink with a mask? It must have been some sort of micro circuitry that read his facial movements and enhanced them for comedic effect.

"Oh, languages, I'm really good with languages. I can say chimichangas in 17 of them. In Georgian, it's chimchingasi. In Yoruba, it's awon isiro. In Somali, it's khasaarooyinka. In Maori, it's ko nga haumi. In Czech, it's chemichangy. In Swedish, it's chimichangasna. In Greek, it's chimitsan'nkes. In Turkish, it's simikan. In Nepali, it's cimacyangasa. In Romanian, it's chimichangele. In Punjabi it's, cima'icanga. In Russian, it's chimichangi. In Yiddish, it's tshimitshangas. In Kazakh, it's simixangas. In Hindi, it's chimikangon. In Bulgarian, it's khimichangite. And in English, it's chimichangas."

Phoenix has posed:
"Where did you pick up those tall tales...?" Jean asks, looking quite flabbergasted at the tidbits that Wade knows, or assumes about the school. "Maybe Creative Writing would be the class for you," she remarks with a click of her tongue. But then comes the awe-inspiring display of Wade's mastery of languages, no doubt rivaling Cypher there. "You certainly can say chimichangas in more languages than I can, I think that's testament enough that you've outgrown schooling with the skills you possess. I mean, what could we possibly teach you here?"

Deadpool has posed:
"Uh, I think it was on VHS? If I'm going to walk on sticky floors, it had better be at Number Five Orange, or after I got to use something that makes a really loud bang." But when she says he can't be a student, he replies, "oh, I don't want to be a student, I want to be a teacher, I want to be an X-Man, just, not in the Caitlin Jenner sense, or did she decide not to go with the operation? I forget. Eh, she really ruined it when she decided to spell her name with a C and kept Jenner as her last name. Kaitlin Kardashian would have had so much more cache. She could have given a whole new meaning to Keeping Up with the Kardashians."

Phoenix has posed:
"VHS?" Jean asks hesitantly, before slowly edging the CV back to Wade's side of the table. "A teaching job? Well, you do have all of the qualifications for that one, but unfortunately, we do not have openings at this time. Likely why we didn't post a job opening notice..." she puts this polite, disarming smile along with her subtle rejection. "If you'll excuse me...I do some other business to attend to, though if you'd like to try for a secreterial job, we could use some help there...at least I could."

Deadpool has posed:
"A secretarial job you say?" He raised his head, stoking his chin, "Can I set my own hours? It's hard to work nine to five when you have a side business of killing people for fun and profit." And as she looks at him, mostlike aghast, he adds, in a Schwarzenegger like voice, "but they were all bad...." before adding in a Billy Crystal voice, "well, mostly bad. If they were all bad, that would be, whew," and he goes into something hard to understand. It was probably Yiddish. He seemed to speak Yiddish. He knew how to say Chimichanga in Yiddish.

Phoenix has posed:
"No, that is out of the question," Jean is rather adamant about the hours, "it is a school. Most of our staff don't have other commitments, particularly not the 'killing people' kind..." she tries to say it with a straight face, but it proves difficult. She's not sure if he's pulling a prank on her or being serious, but that's Jean, she tends to be respectful of people. Most times. "I appreciate your interest, and I'll let you know if we do have an opening...I have your contact information."